PA CYF made us agree to 30 day safety plan - my baby has to stay at parents - caseworker wont return calls!! plz help!

[Ohiogal]

O

It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous. im being told I cant love someone or be with a man that I love and I want to be with..

you can love him. But who do you love more — him or your child? Choose one.

 

[HRZ]

Mom you seem to be playing with a hand grenade to repeatedly and willfully vIolate the no contact order...judge might not be amused at all.

BTW, just who is the breadwinner in all this and who paid your medical expenses....

 

[stealth2]

Now, I don't know how old you are, but I'd guess I have more than a few years on you, given I haven't had an infant to raise for, oh..... a couple of decades. And I can say, on behalf of myself and the other parents here, that most of us have, at one point or another, had to make choices we never really wanted to make for the sake of our children. When I got married, and even later when I had my kids, I never imagined I'd be raising them effectively on my own. But, in retrospect, it was the best thing I could ever have done for them. While they didn't have parents living together, they were raised in a home filled with love, joy, and dreams. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices.

Which would you prefer... Raising your daughter on your own, in a happy home? Or with someone who doesn't love either of you enough to quit drinking, in a home where the cops come knocking every few months?

Just really think about it.

 

[CTU]

It's funny heroin addicts and druggies and people who are involved in dangerous or violent crimes and live in DESPICABLE and FILTHY homes keep their babies somehow and then OD with the poor babies at home who have to call 911 or sometimes literally starve because of their parents ACTUALLY NOT CARING - but I as a parent who DOES actually care and take care of my babygirl is told I shouldn't get her back by some judgemental pricks who don't know me or even the situation as to what happened. The police were called so many times in the past because my bf is an alcoholic plain and simple. Try to reason with an alcoholic - good luck!! My baby wasn't ever there when the police were called in the past.

OH, and for your information, I took my baby to my parents house and slept there SO MANY TIMES for the first couple of months because I did NOT want him to be around her when he did come home drunk. He is not violent but I don't trust anyone who is drunk around my baby. I do put my baby first and I always have. I just don't feel the need to include (in my opinion) unnecessary details to "prove" I am a good Mom - I only want my legal question answered as to CYF safety plans and when I can take my baby home and what I should do if my caseworker is not responding, and nobody at CYF has handed us a copy of anything, or emailed us a copy of anything or mailed us a copy of anything; therefore, I need to know where I need to go or how I need to get a copy of the safety plan that I should have already received a copy of from the start.

Thank you, all. Especially thank you to those who have either been judgemental and kept their assumptions to themselves, or those who did not assume anything about my baby and our relationship.

You're welcome.

 

[hsdr2017]

Thank you all for the insight. HE is the breadwinner and I was a stay at home Mom. I went out and got a part time job for now because I am still taking care of my baby all day while my parents are at work and most evenings as well but my parents neighbor has to be there with me since I am apparently not allowed around my own baby without "supervision".

Can someone tell me what to do about the fact cys has not given me any copy of the safety plan or any documents regarding the case??

Also, What do I do because my caseworker has not returned my calls (4 all together and 2 voicemails - I have been polite in both coicemails and when I met him he seemed confused as to why she was taken also).

Thank you!!

 

[hsdr2017]

Also, what medical expenses are you referring to? I have highmark bcbs and gateway as secondary insurance. My baby is covered under gateway.

 

[Maymee]

If I were a 16 year old, fine I would understand but I am an adult and there is NO reason CYF or the state should be allowed to force me to choose between my daughter who I will obviously choose if I am absoloutley forced to; OR her dad who helped create her. We have the right to work our relationship out for our family.

That is exactly what is happening. The Court is going to deem your actions as choosing your husband.

I have the right to give him a chance to prove himself worthy of being my man and in our daughters life. I also have the ability to tell him if he screws up one time, has even one sip of alcohol that he will be out of our lives forever.

What does nobody understand?!

Please attend meeting as Al-Anon. You will meet many who will understand but will also gently guide you to understanding the flaw in your logic.

Your fiance's alcoholism and your enabling of his behaviors are setting your daughter up for a lifetime of bitterness, anger, heartbreak, and resentment. If you want to have a relationship with your daughter when she's an adult, you best get help to change your damaging behaviors now.