Parties after prom

[CdwJava]

I have always found it morbidly fascinating that many teenagers seem to equate "fun" with alcohol. Yes, I know some adults that do this, too. But, there seems to be far more teens that seriously equate the two. Hence just one of the reasons why alcohol related deaths (mostly in and around autos) are the number one killer of teenagers.

But, teens will do what they want to do and they know better than all of us. So ...

 

[RRevak]

I have always found it morbidly fascinating that many teenagers seem to equate "fun" with alcohol. Yes, I know some adults that do this, too. But, there seems to be far more teens that seriously equate the two. Hence just one of the reasons why alcohol related deaths (mostly in and around autos) are the number one killer of teenagers.

But, teens will do what they want to do and they know better than all of us. So ...

Why is that so fascinating considering our society as a whole considers "fun" to be associated with drinking. Ever watch commercials? Television shows? See images in magazines? All the "fun" those people seem to be having involve drinking. All the ads for alcohol make parties seem WAY better with it, all the adults attending those parties seem WAY happier drinking. Heck, have you EVER attended a function that didn't have a bar present? Drinking for "fun" is as ingrained into our society as the pledge of allegiance. Your answers as to why teens are so fascinated with drinking are all around you.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I have always found it morbidly fascinating that many teenagers seem to equate "fun" with alcohol. Yes, I know some adults that do this, too. But, there seems to be far more teens that seriously equate the two. Hence just one of the reasons why alcohol related deaths (mostly in and around autos) are the number one killer of teenagers.

But, teens will do what they want to do and they know better than all of us. So ...

Because they think they're adults, and they think that's what adults do. It's like when they party, they think anything that's not alcohol might as well be in a sippy cup. It's ironic that the more "grown up" they try to be, the more childish they seem.

 

[CdwJava]

Why is that so fascinating considering our society as a whole considers "fun" to be associated with drinking. Ever watch commercials? Television shows? See images in magazines? All the "fun" those people seem to be having involve drinking. All the ads for alcohol make parties seem WAY better with it, all the adults attending those parties seem WAY happier drinking. Heck, have you EVER attended a function that didn't have a bar present? Drinking for "fun" is as ingrained into our society as the pledge of allegiance. Your answers as to why teens are so fascinated with drinking are all around you.

And, yet, I know of teens that do NOT equate "fun" with alcohol. I guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy and my experiences have tempered my positive impression of alcohol. Darn that responsibility gene!

While I understand that the messages are all around, so are the messages NOT to drink. They get those messages quite a bit at school. The problem is exacerbated by the teenage mindset of "I know more than you do," and their seemingly consistent refusal to acknowledge any information that might contradict what they WANT to do. Why muddle desire with reality? This attitude tends to shut out even rational discourse and logic and replace it with the simple emotion and sense of immortality that is inherent to the teenage mind.

I have four teenage boys, and only my oldest (age 19) seems to hold the opinion that alcohol is a prerequisite to "fun." It is a battle that I constantly struggle with. But, he is away at college, so I cannot hold his hand. The others do not (thank God!) tend to believe that alcohol is the root of a good time. So, 75% of my boys do not seem to be following that all-pervasive message.

It's a choice, and too many kids make the wrong one ... and I get to scrape up the remains of those who think that it's no big deal ... or, get T-Boned by the ones that thought that. THOSE are the images that haunt me. Visit such a scene once, and you'll campaign against teens and alcohol, too.

 

[xteer76]

Getting back to the original point of the thread.

This is interesting,

http://www.aclu.org/human-rights/school-overreached-punishing-campus-actions-court-says

 

[xteer76]

I have four teenage boys, and only my oldest (age 19) seems to hold the opinion that alcohol is a prerequisite to "fun." It is a battle that I constantly struggle with. But, he is away at college, so I cannot hold his hand. The others do not (thank God!) tend to believe that alcohol is the root of a good time. So, 75% of my boys do not seem to be following that all-pervasive message.

Wait. How old are the rest of them?

 

[RRevak]

And, yet, I know of teens that do NOT equate "fun" with alcohol. I guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy and my experiences have tempered my positive impression of alcohol. Darn that responsibility gene!

While I understand that the messages are all around, so are the messages NOT to drink. They get those messages quite a bit at school. The problem is exacerbated by the teenage mindset of "I know more than you do," and their seemingly consistent refusal to acknowledge any information that might contradict what they WANT to do. Why muddle desire with reality? This attitude tends to shut out even rational discourse and logic and replace it with the simple emotion and sense of immortality that is inherent to the teenage mind.

I have four teenage boys, and only my oldest (age 19) seems to hold the opinion that alcohol is a prerequisite to "fun." It is a battle that I constantly struggle with. But, he is away at college, so I cannot hold his hand. The others do not (thank God!) tend to believe that alcohol is the root of a good time. So, 75% of my boys do not seem to be following that all-pervasive message.

It's a choice, and too many kids make the wrong one ... and I get to scrape up the remains of those who think that it's no big deal ... or, get T-Boned by the ones that thought that. THOSE are the images that haunt me. Visit such a scene once, and you'll campaign against teens and alcohol, too.

I've lost many friends and family throughout my years from alcohol and drug related deaths, so i'm not a huge proponent either. Its a discussion I have with my daughter constantly because I come from a very long line of alcoholics and drug addicts in our family so I am forever trying to instill in her that although the "fun" may seem great at first, it almost ALWAYS has a negative ending. But I can't shut the world out for her and sadly, the world around her tells her otherwise. Same as it tells our teens otherwise. Do you realize that a local college in my area has a bar ON CAMPUS!? Just think about that message for a moment. Think about how many colleges you have either visited and the one you attended. How many of them have bars within walking distance? These are the colleges our teens visit when deciding where to go after high school. This is what they see. College = freedom which = fun which = hey look, a bar! How many high school proms do you know of that have the almighty "after prom party" such as the one OP is speaking of? Maybe part of the reason you have been successful at keeping alcohol stupidity away from your younger sons is partly due to you being in law enforcement. Its one thing for a parent to tell their children of the evils of drinking, but when you have a parent who has first hand knowledge its a bit more powerful. I can go on and on about the mixed messages society sends our teens about drinking. On one hand it says do not drink, but then on the other sends the message that everything is better if they do. Which one do you think teens are more apt to hear? Like smoking, its going to take society as a whole to stop sending the message that alcohol is necessary for a good time. Until that happens, our teen drinking problem will continue despite all the advice we as parents try to send them into the world with.

 

[RRevak]

OP I think it really comes down to will your school punish you for off campus activities? Maybe, maybe not. That's not really something we know for certain either way as some schools will and some won't. What I think everyone else is also trying to get at is whether or not that's a risk you're willing to take.

 

[ecmst12]

As you have been told, NO, there is no concrete law that tells your school what they can and can't punish you for. Not on any book anywhere. So they can do what they want and it would be on you to fight them for it. By the time you got done fighting, even if you won, graduation would be long since over and you would have missed it. So do what you want, but be prepared to deal with the consequences.

None of my prom festivities involved drinking and I still had a damn good time!

 

[xylene]

Am I the only poster who sees the real solution: School Sponsored proms / dances / formals / semi-formals / balls / whatever... should be abolished.

 

[Silverplum]

Additionally, there could be other consequences. A booze party is likely going to lead to some number of otherwise unplanned hook-ups. In the incident I mentioned previously, a good dozen young women capped off their post-prom festivities by getting pregnant. Which led to a totally different future than they had envisioned.

There was also at least one car accident - with a fatality.

Both of mine went with dates & friends to an all-night diner, then back to a friend's house to hang-out and crash.

That's a shockingly large number of idiots clustered in a small area.

 

[ecmst12]

Depends on the size of the school. I know people who had more than 1000 people in their graduating class, 12 is a small percentage.

 

[Silverplum]

Depends on the size of the school. I know people who had more than 1000 people in their graduating class, 12 is a small percentage.

Yes, math is awesome.

That's why I wrote "area." It's still a couple of dozen morons in a small area: that's too many.

 

[LdiJ]

I have always found it morbidly fascinating that many teenagers seem to equate "fun" with alcohol. Yes, I know some adults that do this, too. But, there seems to be far more teens that seriously equate the two. Hence just one of the reasons why alcohol related deaths (mostly in and around autos) are the number one killer of teenagers.

But, teens will do what they want to do and they know better than all of us. So ...

Its "forbidden fruit"...that is what makes it so attractive.

I always use Italy as an example for this, because its a country I am familiar with, and have spent a lot of time with ordinary Italian people. Alcohol is virtually a zero problem with teens in Italy...its no different than adult behavior and few Italian adults drink to excess either. Why? Because alcohol, predominantly wine, is part of their lives from a very young age. Even very young children are given watered down wine at many meals. No teenage parties get busted because there is alcohol present and nobody drinks much of it. Most teens I have met in Italy would honestly rather drink coke.

Our country makes alcohol "forbidden fruit". The problem is that even if we wanted to change that, it could take several generations of pure heck before attitudes started to match a country like Italy. The other issue is that countries like Italy have very little worry about teens driving under the influence. Why? Because its so expensive to own and run a car that its unusual at all for teens to even have driver's licenses, let alone access to a car. Public transportation is also so good that its not necessary.

 

[xteer76]

You guys spend so much time bashing teenagers that I think you've forgotten that we're humans too. We're not as simple as "alcohol=fun"
alcohol+dirtbikes+baseball+camping+atvs+jobsandmoney+girls+football+rivers+mountains+sunriseseventhoughitshard+pizza+bonfires+hangingout+iforgotsomestuff=fun
Not all at the same time. You can't play baseball and ride an atv at the same time. We've tried.
It's not like teens are all drinking all the time. You also seem to think that all teens who drink, drink excessively. That's not true.

As you have been told, NO, there is no concrete law that tells your school what they can and can't punish you for. Not on any book anywhere. So they can do what they want and it would be on you to fight them for it. By the time you got done fighting, even if you won, graduation would be long since over and you would have missed it. So do what you want, but be prepared to deal with the consequences.

None of my prom festivities involved drinking and I still had a damn good time!

So you're saying, don't fight based on principles if it's inconvenient?

Also, what I was trying to get at - when you're in school you're kind of I guess in their custody during the day/event (?), until you're back with your parents. So, there's also nothing in any book anywhere that talks about that? When that transfer happens?

Am I the only poster who sees the real solution: School Sponsored proms / dances / formals / semi-formals / balls / whatever... should be abolished.

Haven't some places tried that and the students organized their own proms which looked a lot like the after party Stealth keeps talking about?