Please help :'(

[mvazquez]

I know he is her real father.. how do you serve someone in jail?

 

[Ohiogal]

No excuses.. yes I chose to give birth, I wasn't going to abort her when I found out or put her up for adoption.. please tell me an easy way to explain to your 3 year old all of this.. I dont think there is any

The easiest way would have been NOT to lie to her.
When she said her name was Amy Smith, you should have corrected her with, No honey. Your brother's last name is Smith but your last name is Jones. Amy Jones.

And when she said your new bed buddy was daddy, you should have corrected her. No honey, your daddy is Mr. Jones but he is not here right now. Maybe one day you will meet him.

See how easy that would have been?
Now you have to deal with being a LIAR and basically destroy the trust she has in you by admitting you lied and TELLING HER THE TRUTH. Or keep being a big fat liar and pray she never finds out and that your current bed buddy keeps your secret and everyone else keeps your secret FOREVER. (Don't count on that).

 

[Ohiogal]

I know he is her real father.. how do you serve someone in jail?

Easy peasy. Certified mail. Or have the sheriff's serve him. But apparently you don't care about lying to your child. Pathetic.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The child is 3 - TEACH her the correct name. You are making this a way bigger deal that it is.

 

[Ohiogal]

The child is 3 - TEACH her the correct name. You are making this a way bigger deal that it is.

But then she wouldn't be able to live with the fantasy she has created.

 

[mvazquez]

Easier said than done. Do you even have kids?

 

[mvazquez]

Also the **** talking is not necessary. If it helps you sleep at night and if talking ****, judging and making assumptions about other peoples lives makes you feel better then cool but I asked for help

 

[mvazquez]

On the situation not to be talked down to.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Yup - 5 kids with two different last names and my name doesn't match any of them. All the kids knew their parents. You can correct your child now. Follow the LEGAL advice that has been given to you. The extra was just bonus advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

Also the **** talking is not necessary. If it helps you sleep at night and if talking ****, judging and making assumptions about other peoples lives makes you feel better then cool but I asked for help

Apparently you can't handle the truth. You are a LIAR. How do you plan to teach your children about honesty and telling the truth when you don't even know what that is? I gave you help. Told you exactly what to do. You don't like it, oh well. And if you think I am horrible, wait until your child finds out that her whole world has been nothing but a lie because mommy is a big fat liar and now she can't trust you because everything you have told her has been false. She might not have that issue NOW. But if she finds out when she is six, seven, ten, thirteen, you might never be forgiven. Especially if you have ever grounded her for lying and told her how important the truth is. Because you see, you don't show that the truth is important when you have lied about very essential, basic information. Does that hurt your feelings? Oh well. And I have not made any assumptions. I have gone strictly on what you have stated regarding the lies you have told your daughter.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, OP, it will be much easier to explain this to your daughter now than it will be later. If you can't figure out how to do so yourself, I would suggest that you speak with a therapist and ask for his/her advice. But do it sooner than not. For the child's sake.

 

[mmmagique]

I get that some posters often have...strong convictions about their ideals and opinions. They believe we should always behave in an idealistic way in this imperfect world. But I don't see how calling people names (here it's liar, and on other threads it runs the gamut) can possibly help them. (or anyone)

OP, my suggestion is to take what legal advice you can get from this, and ignore the judgments of others. In the end, it's your decision how to deal with whatever mistakes you've made. I'm sure you love your daughter, and will do what you can to rectify this situation.

 

[Ohiogal]

I get that some posters often have...strong convictions about their ideals and opinions. They believe we should always behave in an idealistic way in this imperfect world. But I don't see how calling people names (here it's liar, and on other threads it runs the gamut) can possibly help them. (or anyone)

OP, my suggestion is to take what legal advice you can get from this, and ignore the judgments of others. In the end, it's your decision how to deal with whatever mistakes you've made. I'm sure you love your daughter, and will do what you can to rectify this situation.

Liar is a fact. The OP has LIED to her child in very elemental, essential, basic ways. Liar is not calling her name. It is explaining what she is based on her actions. She lied. A person who lies is a LIAR. It is just that simple.

 

[ecmst12]

There is a difference between saying "you told a lie" and saying "you are a liar". As someone who makes her living on words and semantics, you should understand that. But you don't, and probably never will.

 

[Ohiogal]

There is a difference between saying "you told a lie" and saying "you are a liar". As someone who makes her living on words and semantics, you should understand that. But you don't, and probably never will.

She is a liar. A liar is someone who lies. That is what she is. Plain and simple.