Please help :'(

[Ohiogal]

Seriously? Around the internet, this kind of talk is what's commonly referred to as cyber-bullying. Why isn't it here? Why is it allowed to happen here?


I wish you'd grow up, OG. While your message may be spot-on, your delivery sucks.

And you think I care what YOU think Kaizen? Yeah, not really. YOUR parenting sucks. Got it?

 

[kaizen]

I find YOUR comment to be a bit "bullying". Why hasn't the Admin stopped YOU?

Well that's a good point. You're right. I should have chosen my words more carefully.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

 

[Ohiogal]

Who said she deserved sympathy? I am sorry that you cannot see the difference between telling someone where they went wrong, and bullying. I am sorry that you cannot see that bullying makes them ignore your message.

Bullying? Really? Stating that someone who admits to LYING is a liar is a bullying? Ummm, no. That is putting a noun to the verb of which they admit. But whatever. I am not bullying this OP. This OP has lied. That makes her a liar. She is destroying her child. But I am the one in the wrong. Oh, okay. Maybe she should wake up and realize the harm she has caused her child by her actions. I have not caused anyone any harm by pointing it out.

 

[Just Blue]

Bullying? Really? Stating that someone who admits to LYING is a liar is a bullying? Ummm, no. That is putting a noun to the verb of which they admit. But whatever. I am not bullying this OP. This OP has lied. That makes her a liar. She is destroying her child. But I am the one in the wrong. Oh, okay. Maybe she should wake up and realize the harm she has caused her child by her actions. I have not caused anyone any harm by pointing it out.

OG...I stand by my post on page 1 that this is just one of those odd persons that posts. This thread and all OP postings are made to cause members to argue.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG...I stand by my post on page 1 that this is just one of those odd persons that posts. This thread and all OP postings are made to cause members to argue.

Yeah and then Kaizen -- please read HER posting history and note I haven't responded to her bs since her rudeness to other members came to light -- joins in. Wonder if that makes Kaizen feels special and delightful. Maybe jumping in to say calling a liar a liar is not nice makes her feel special.

After all with all her issues, she has to do something to make her feel delightful.

 

[stealth2]

Sorry, but LDi & kaizen make good points. IMO, telling a person ONCE that they are a liar is a stronger message than beating them over the head with it. Once and done. To keep coming back and barraging them repeatedly? Says more about the person doing it than the OP. Having said that....

OG... you know I love you. You know I'm your friend. You know I think you have very valuable input. But... Your position is stronger when you stand in a position of once and done. When you keep on and on and on? It makes one wonder what you have going on that you need to hurt others. Because that is what you're doing.

And to anyone who feels the need to come back at me for the above? Stop. OG is a big girl and perfectly capable of speaking for herself. Let her do so if she feels the need.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, but LDi & kaizen make good points. IMO, telling a person ONCE that they are a liar is a stronger message than beating them over the head with it. Once and done. To keep coming back and barraging them repeatedly? Says more about the person doing it than the OP. Having said that....

OG... you know I love you. You know I'm your friend. You know I think you have very valuable input. But... Your position is stronger when you stand in a position of once and done. When you keep on and on and on? It makes one wonder what you have going on that you need to hurt others. Because that is what you're doing.

And to anyone who feels the need to come back at me for the above? Stop. OG is a big girl and perfectly capable of speaking for herself. Let her do so if she feels the need.

I stand behind what I have said. Kaizen has yet to make a good point. Try reading HER entire posting history.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1255218&pp=

Those are her threads. And then she follows me around criticizing my posts. Oh well. She can rot. How's that?

 

[gam]

SMH at the childish nonsense this thread has become.

All the good that was offered or could have further been offered, is now useless and the children we claim to come here to help are not getting help.

 

[stealth2]

Ditto, gam.

 

[Southern Softie]

Its ridiculous to say what "will" happen as if its written in stone. Can this kind of thing cause emotional harm to a child? Sure it can. Will it? It's pretty arrogant to sit up on a high horse and claim to be so all knowing that you know exactly how this is going to affect this kid. And I can say that with certainty because 28 years ago I was the child in this situation. Yes I was shocked when I learned the truth and you could have knocked me over with a feather but it didn't "destroy" me. I understand why I didn't know about my biological father until I was 17 and the way things turned out I'm glad I didn't know. My dad is the wonderful man who raised me even if I don't have his dna. It won't turn out that well for every child but that disclaimer works both ways.

If you want to warn people that not telling their kids the truth about their parentage might be a problem later on that's fine but to be arrogant enough to claim to know how a child you don't even know is going to handle it is beyond arrogant.

 

[Silverplum]

Its ridiculous to say what "will" happen as if its written in stone. Can this kind of thing cause emotional harm to a child? Sure it can. Will it? It's pretty arrogant to sit up on a high horse and claim to be so all knowing that you know exactly how this is going to affect this kid. And I can say that with certainty because 28 years ago I was the child in this situation. Yes I was shocked when I learned the truth and you could have knocked me over with a feather but it didn't "destroy" me. I understand why I didn't know about my biological father until I was 17 and the way things turned out I'm glad I didn't know. My dad is the wonderful man who raised me even if I don't have his dna. It won't turn out that well for every child but that disclaimer works both ways.

If you want to warn people that not telling their kids the truth about their parentage might be a problem later on that's fine but to be arrogant enough to claim to know how a child you don't even know is going to handle it is beyond arrogant.

To be arrogant is beyond arrogant.

Alrighty.

 

[mvazquez]

Thank you to everyone who has actually tried to help without throwing insults. I'm not referring to being called a liar, well, because I have lied to an extent, but that doesn't make me a bad mother.. I love my kids to death and I have my reasons for not letting my child know who her real father is.. yet.. I will eventually let her know but for right now I don't want nor feel the need to tell my baby girl that her real dad is a druggie, criminal, thief who has been in and out of jail.. again, thank you to everyone who has actually offered advice

 

[Zigner]

I will eventually let her know but for right now I don't want nor feel the need to tell my baby girl that her real dad is a druggie, criminal, thief who has been in and out of jail...

That sounds exactly like my ex (the child's mother.) And I took the exact same position. It took several years of therapy once a relative let the cat of the bag. HONESTY is what works. Age appropriate honesty...

 

[mvazquez]

Both me and my hubby have agreed that we will let her know when shes old enough to understand better... but for now I still want to try to get her last name changed to mine.

 

[stealth2]

Thank you to everyone who has actually tried to help without throwing insults. I'm not referring to being called a liar, well, because I have lied to an extent, but that doesn't make me a bad mother.. I love my kids to death and I have my reasons for not letting my child know who her real father is.. yet.. I will eventually let her know but for right now I don't want nor feel the need to tell my baby girl that her real dad is a druggie, criminal, thief who has been in and out of jail.. again, thank you to everyone who has actually offered advice

Thing is, you don't HAVE to tell her that her real Dad is a druggie, criminal, thief, etc. to let her know that your husband is not her real Dad. "Your real Dad is Bobby Joe, but he can't be with you right now. I hope someday you'll be able to get to know him. But StepDaddy Bill loves you very, very much and is so happy he gets to help you grow up." Was that so hard? If/when she asks why her real Dad isn't around, you give her an age-appropriate answer. It can be as simple as "he has a lot of problems in his life, and we feel it would be better for him to concentrate on taking care of those right now" to "he's a druggie, criminal, thief, etc." when she's older.