question on child support amount and about a lawyer

[psubaby08]

thankyou for the answers. I may not get it at the conference but I am going to give it a shot in asking for a portion of help. It's worth at least trying instead of not asking at all. Once it all goes through i'll edit this post and update it and let everyone know who's opinion turned out to be right and whos turns out to be wrong according to what the judge winds up saying. because in 2 weeks it'll be in the hands of the court now and just going to hope i get a understanding judge. I wont post anymore threads until after christmas and the conference again so everyone please have a happy and safe holiday and merry christmas.

 

[Ohiogal]

Op, to answer your question, I'd say you have a good shot at receiving a portion of the child care expenses you will be paying out to your mom.
I haven't seen courts ask for proof, but even if they did, a signed notarized statement from your mom stating when she will start providing childcare, and how much you are paying should be sufficient.
Make sure you pay her though; you're very lucky to have someone taking care of her that loves her. That's worth A lot!

~Christina

I have seen courts ask for proof many many times -- any time that an NCP requests that the CP prove their daycare costs. A signed notarized statement is NOT admissible proof.

 

[Bloopy]

Okay.

Let’s say psybaby08 is NOT paying her Mom to provide childcare or, as I suspect, inflating the amount. Or maybe the money she’s paying is really for putting a roof over their heads and the childcare is a gift.

Despite these possibilities, the parents must work; the child must be cared for. Childcare has a value and is part of the costs of raising a child. Dad has an obligation to contribute towards that.

Mom having an “in” by accident of her birth doesn’t give Dad a freebie any more than he should get a CS discount if she owned her own home or for her mooching off her parents. It’s a gift to their daughter and grandchild, not to Dad.

It seems that he has the right to quibble over the amount owed towards childcare. He may argue that he has found better childcare for the same amount or less and he prefers a licensed daycare with social opportunities.

Dad’s going to pay towards childcare in this arrangement even if it's only factored into the CS. All that’s up for debate is the amount.

If Dad pushes for alternate arrangements and wins, it will likely be more expensive.

 

[Ohiogal]

Okay.

Let’s say psybaby08 is NOT paying her Mom to provide childcare or, as I suspect, inflating the amount. Or maybe the money she’s paying is really for putting a roof over their heads and the childcare is a gift.

Despite these possibilities, the parents must work; the child must be cared for. Childcare has a value and is part of the costs of raising a child. Dad has an obligation to contribute towards that.

Mom having an “in” by accident of her birth doesn’t give Dad a freebie any more than he should get a CS discount if she owned her own home or for her mooching off her parents. It’s a gift to their daughter and grandchild, not to Dad.

It seems that he has the right to quibble over the amount owed towards childcare. He may argue that he has found better childcare for the same amount or less and he prefers a licensed daycare with social opportunities.

Dad’s going to pay towards childcare in this arrangement even if it's only factored into the CS. All that’s up for debate is the amount.

If Dad pushes for alternate arrangements and wins, it will likely be more expensive.

Not necessarily. Yes if dad pushes for alternate arrangements it could be more expensive. HOWEVER, mom still needs to PROVE the amount that child care costs her. Simply stating that she is paying X is not going to cut it without other admissible evidence.

 

[psubaby08]

to answer bloopy, i'm not infalting the amount. it is the amount my mother is going to lose when she quits her job to watch the baby. the money is not needed to keep a roof over my familys head, my fathers salary does that just fine. lets face it, with todays economy, people no matter who they are can't afford to just quit their jobs without some sort of compensation. I am only living with my parents because I just graduated college in May. I have student loans out the wazoo on top of everything and i had a job lined up to start June 2nd but they wouldnt let me start 6 months pregnant so they graciously pushed the offer start date back to January 5th. Believe me i hate relying on other people for help as I have been working to have my own money since i was 15. I'm going to ask for assistance with it even if they dont give me it i'm at least going to try and get something, yes even if that does get wrapped into the overall CS amount. I can have paychecks ready, a note from her employer stating shes leaving, all documentation for it necessary and I am going to keep a very detailed record of everything bought for the baby and spent on the baby to account for where the money is going. so if my ex questions it i can just hand him a full document with reciepts but again i can't prove anything that hasn't occured yet.

and as far as other daycare, he hasnt found any. his solution is me give up the baby and send her down to NC for her to be put into military daycare while he goes to work 9 hours a day. As for social interaction, i have an entire group of friends whom all have children under the age of 2 that are friendly with me and my family and who are more then excited to have playdates so a childcare facility with strangers where she is more susceptoble to getting sick and will not get one on one total attention wouldnt be necessary. It will be over my dead body that she gets put into a expensive daycare facility just beacuse he dont like my mother. and i REALLY do not see how a judge would find her being placed into daycare facility instead of in her own home where she is perfectly safe, healthy, confortable, can be on her own schedule and thriving for past 4 months in the care of her family wouldn't be better then her being put under supervision of strangers. i think any judge who wouuld order that just cause my ex doesnt like my mother (which who actually likes their so to speak MIL's?) would have to be completely unreasonable and outta their mind.

 

[Bloopy]

to answer bloopy, i'm not infalting the amount. it is the amount my mother is going to lose when she quits her job to watch the baby. the money is not needed to keep a roof over my familys head, my fathers salary does that just fine. lets face it, with todays economy, people no matter who they are can't afford to just quit their jobs without some sort of compensation.

But you’re living at home Dearie. It’s not reasonable to say that you are paying $600 exclusively for childcare on top of all your other expenses.

A portion of that compensation, in principle, goes towards maintaining you in that home. You are also under that roof and are showering, washing clothes using lights and otherwise contributing to household costs as well as occupying space.

CS pays towards the extra cost of raising his child. He does not need to pay towards your maintenance.

What you’re Mom was being paid when she quits her job is irrelevant.

Without proof, it looks fishy. Sure, childcare factors into CS calculations vaguely but don’t expect the court to just accept the $600 figure.

 

[psubaby08]

in understand that and i know it does look shady and many NCP's have gotten taken for thousands of dollars by lying about relatives caring for their kids. and I know it will be hard to prove but sinc ew'er going to a case worker(we're not seeing a judge quite yet) im going to plead the case for it. I am btw not asking for all $600. I am only asking for $150 a month which if anyone knows anything about daycare isn't even the cost of 1 week of regular daycare facilities. so in the end he would win and he'd be saved hundreds and realistically thousands of dolalrs over the course of the year.

 

[Humusluvr]

in understand that and i know it does look shady and many NCP's have gotten taken for thousands of dollars by lying about relatives caring for their kids. and I know it will be hard to prove but sinc ew'er going to a case worker(we're not seeing a judge quite yet) im going to plead the case for it. I am btw not asking for all $600. I am only asking for $150 a month which if anyone knows anything about daycare isn't even the cost of 1 week of regular daycare facilities. so in the end he would win and he'd be saved hundreds and realistically thousands of dolalrs over the course of the year.

I pay a private babysitter $35 a day to sit for my little one.

I work 5 days a week.

My mother loves watching my little one on Mondays and Wednesday - her days off from her job. She considers it her "grandmotherly duty."

I write out a check for $105 per week to the babysitter. No check to my mom. I don't charge my ex half of what my mom "should" get. Because my mom would want to stay with my kiddo whether my ex and I were together or not.

So, if your mom is charging you, more power to her. But, you should have to provide your ex with canceled check stubs. IMO.

To me, this thread just stinks of getting greedy where your mom would stay with your little one anyways. Maybe it isn't that, but I think I'm reading behind the lines.

 

[TheGeekess]

in understand that and i know it does look shady and many NCP's have gotten taken for thousands of dollars by lying about relatives caring for their kids. and I know it will be hard to prove but sinc ew'er going to a case worker(we're not seeing a judge quite yet) im going to plead the case for it. I am btw not asking for all $600. I am only asking for $150 a month which if anyone knows anything about daycare isn't even the cost of 1 week of regular daycare facilities. so in the end he would win and he'd be saved hundreds and realistically thousands of dolalrs over the course of the year.

You could always see what CPS in your state considers to be the going rate for childcare.

 

[psubaby08]

its not being greedy its like i said making up for the money she is losing. thats great for you that you have someone you can pay $35 a day to to watch your kid for 8 hours whic is like $4 an hour so u must really know the person or be related to them cuz i dont knwo too many strangers who would do that however I don't have that option. i do not want some strang babysitter i dont really know watching my daughter. if i wantd that i'd put her into daycare. and yes my mother would stay with her anyways but realistically you cant expect someone to quit their job completely and lose over $7k a year in order to watch their grandkid. I get the concept of "grandmotherly duty" and thats wonderful for you that you have that and your mother takes them for 2 days cost free but that is not a viable option for my circumstance. which you can think its shady and greedy all you want but its the truth. as for the proof to my ex, i already stated in previous post that i am willing to give him cancelled checks and pay stubs etc. or w/e is necessary to prove it to a court.

to geekess: i came up with the childcare cost figure by obtaining the price list of 4 daycre facilities in my area and the cheapest one ( may i add in a crappy location ) is $185 a week. so asking for 150 for the entire month didn't sound completely unreasonable.

 

[Just Blue]

pusbaby...Stop posting your incoherent ramblings on other members threads.

 

[psubaby08]

simple answer....No. I can post whatever I want within the bounds of the rules. people can make their own decision whether to read my opinion or not. you do not get to tell people who can and can't comment on other people's posts despite your own opinion of me. and if you read what i posted, the 5 responses i posted were all correct. the one im assuming you are referring to was clarified rather quickly and merely involved suggesting reading previous threads. im glad you have your opinion on who should and shouldn't give advice but i'm sorry, senio rmember or not, you're not allowed to decide who gets to post and give advice and who doesn't.

 

[Just Blue]

simple answer....No. I can post whatever I want within the bounds of the rules. people can make their own decision whether to read my opinion or not. you do not get to tell people who can and can't comment on other people's posts despite your own opinion of me. and if you read what i posted, the 5 responses i posted were all correct. the one im assuming you are referring to was clarified rather quickly and merely involved suggesting reading previous threads. im glad you have your opinion on who should and shouldn't give advice but i'm sorry, senio rmember or not, you're not allowed to decide who gets to post and give advice and who doesn't.

You're right. But admin does get to decide. I will just report the posts.

 

[psubaby08]

go ahead. i haven't done anthing i think to warrant my account being blocked so you can report the posts if you want and we'll see if they block my account or not. until then you can't make me stop replying to posts because you yourself are not an admin.

 

[Madison31]

I work long and odd hours. My shift starts at 3pm and is over at 3:30am. Sometimes I have to stay until 7:30am.

There are absolutely no day care facilities open 3rd shift like that around me. I spent several weeks searching and also involved the state to help me look with no avail. I checked on prices of "nannies" that were licensed....very expensive.

My point is.....family caring for my son is the best option. He also has special needs...and because of these special needs and the fact that he takes meds....it would have cost me even more to hire a "nanny" with these additional qualifications.

I had to provide receipts for the last year, I had to show on my last year's income tax that I filed for a child care credit, and I had to have the family member who cares for my son fill out a day care form. Family member was not licensed and that was made clear.