Acceptance said:
Although anything could happen in the future regarding how things turn out we have to keep in mind that I am a native there, so is my entire family and childhood friends. Therefore, we have contacts and friends in the community and connecting my stepdaughter with a job after her education would not be by any means impossible.
Your reasons for returning to France are moot insofar as your stepdaughter. Do you have a green card? Are you returning to France because you cannot stay in the US or cannot work or for family reasons? Do you have a green card? Will your husband be able to work once he gets there?
We are not talking about moving to a strange country were we know no one and have no support.
That is irrelevant, can your husband support his family there without assistance by your family and friends? Is he having a problem supporting his family in the US?
Also, if we were unhappy there we could always move back.
True, but this is traumatic for children to be always on the move. It is not the same as a vacation or being an exchange student.
I just do not see how any judge would not see the value of this opportunity for my step-daughter as well as the rest of us.
It is your stepdaughter's best interest that the judge will consider, not your or your husband's benefits, the judge will consider all the facts. Are you willing and able to pay for your stepdaughter to return to the US for several extended periods of visitation such as summer and Christmas vacations, and return airfare if she decides to return to the US?
However, I do understand that a judge ruling cannot be predicted and does not always turn out to be what makes sense to the rest of us.
Remember there is the right way, the wrong way and the Franch way, lol! In the American justice system, there are Federal Standards and State standards set by statute, in general a judge considers the facts, not just one side of an issue and in the case of a minor child might even order a Guardian ad Litem to represent the child's best interest, and then applies th elaw to the facts and then decides what they feel is in the best interest of the child. Dad would have to prove that the move is in the best interest of the child, to remove her from all of her family and friends, her culture and community because you are homesick?
The other point that should be valuable is that obtaining citizenship for both my boyfriend and step-daughter after we have been residing there for sometime is another longer term possibility which would also reduce some of the possible barriers and open more doors.
THat is just the point, because as a minor child in a country where she doesn't speak the language and different educational system, she will be at a disadvantage for a long time and that is not in her best interest, Now if you and dad move to France and she stays here and visits you until she is an adult and then decides to move to France, she will have time and opportunity to prepare without interrupting her last few years of minority in the US, then the only quesiton would be paying her way there and obtaining the visas.
This would also result in future employment opportunities throughout Europe in neighbor countries (perhaps even England) which is very common now a days. So, I am still confident that this is in her best interest, but how a judge would feel who knows.
These are things that can be addressed when she is an adult in a couple years. I'm not against people traveling to other countries or students studying in different countries, I am objecting to removing this child from her homeland at a critical point in her maturity. If she were an exchange student, she would be returning to graduate high school. I studied in France, why would I object to someone else having a similar experience? It is more than the issue of being a student.
