Relocation about to get a monkey wrench

[LdiJ]

Look...I am not normally this blunt, but since you don't have your private messages turned on I am going to be.

Please ignore everything that Rmet is saying to you. I don't know why she is deliberately twisting things to make it seem as though the older child can't move with you...but she is.
She is also attempting to make things look more complicated than they are...by adding in all kinds of basically irrelevant issues.

Here is the truth:

Dad is free to live wherever he likes. It is immaterial whether he is married to you or not. (although I suspect that if he was, it would make the move easier on the France end of things...buts that's not a family law issue and is irrelevant to this discussion)

Unless the MOTHER, and the MOTHER ONLY, decides to object to the child moving to France...and unless a judge would feel justified in giving custody of the child to the MOTHER, and the MOTHER only, the child is also free to move with him. I can't see any judge giving custody to this particular mother..LOL...therefore its probably not a problem. If the child also WANTS to go...which apparently she does, that it just icing on the cake, because she is old enough that her wishes would be given at least some consideration by a judge.

The grandparent is immaterial and irrelevant in this case, except for the fact that she might try to "fund" mom in attempting an objection. However, again, since mom has no current relationship with the child, and is clearly unfit...its unlikely to be a problem.

I think this is going to be a truly marvelous experience for the child and one that she will treasure for the rest of her life. Don't like anyone frighten you into taking it away from her.

However...if you want additional reassurance, then go get a consult with a local attorney. I am nearly 100% certain that you will get the same answer there...that you got from me.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I can answer that question...yes, he may still collect is SSI check while living abroad.

YOU ARE wrong,
WRONG,
WRONG.
OP made it perfectly clear that her boyfriend was on SSI, that is Supplemental Security Income, that is paid by the state of Maryland, they will not pay that when he is no longer a resident especially so that he can work under the table or sit on his you know what in France?
What are you smoking Laura?
OP specifically said it was SSI and not SSDI Social Security Disability Income and SSI, which is differient. If he was getting SSDI he would also be getting income for his children also, both of them. SO he is getting something close to $700 per month. All this for $700 a month.
OP needs to return to France and hope she can get visitation.

Here are approx CS calculations based on range of social worker salary in MD. I included dad's income as both $0 & $700 per month. I included 1&2 chidren should the judge order CS for the teenaged daughter based on OP as de Facto parent or should OP decide to have another child before returning to France.
1 child $15hr= 2850 mo 700=404/628 2 children 0=424/657 2 children
1 child $8.5hr = 1462 mo 700=239/413 0=267/371

 

[knd2517]

YOU ARE wrong,
WRONG,
WRONG.
OP made it perfectly clear that her boyfriend was on SSI, that is Supplemental Security Income, that is paid by the state of Maryland, they will not pay that when he is no longer a resident especially so that he can work under the table or sit on his you know what in France?
What are you smoking Laura?
OP specifically said it was SSI and not SSDI Social Security Disability Income and SSI, which is differient. If he was getting SSDI he would also be getting income for his children also, both of them. SO he is getting something close to $700 per month. All this for $700 a month.
OP needs to return to France and hope she can get visitation.

Here are approx CS calculations based on range of social worker salary in MD. I included dad's income as both $0 & $700 per month. I included 1&2 chidren should the judge order CS for the teenaged daughter based on OP as de Facto parent or should OP decide to have another child before returning to France.
1 child $15hr= 2850 mo 700=404/628 2 children 0=424/657 2 children
1 child $8.5hr = 1462 mo 700=239/413 0=267/371

So who cares? He can or he can't. That's not what she is asking.
Laura pretty much stated the situation at hand. Dad wants to move, 16yr old daughter wants to go too. Off they go.
If he can't get SSI in France, then he can't. I'm sure it's already been taken into consideration by these folks and I do think she mentioned in a previous post that she knows he can't get it. It doesn't seem to be an issue.

OP asked if GM could stop them from moving. No, she can't. Only her biomom can and I haven't seen a single post where she mentioned whether biomom is on board with this or not. The only posts I've seen indicated biomom isn't even in the picture for the most part.

KLD

 

[Happy Trails]

So who cares? He can or he can't. That's not what she is asking.
Laura pretty much stated the situation at hand. Dad wants to move, 16yr old daughter wants to go too. Off they go.
If he can't get SSI in France, then he can't. I'm sure it's already been taken into consideration by these folks and I do think she mentioned in a previous post that she knows he can't get it. It doesn't seem to be an issue.

OP asked if GM could stop them from moving. No, she can't. Only her biomom can and I haven't seen a single post where she mentioned whether biomom is on board with this or not. The only posts I've seen indicated biomom isn't even in the picture for the most part.

KLD

Did I miss where she stated the teens age?

Did I also miss where she said the teen wanted to go?

The OP stated in first post:

What is the name of your state? Maryland
My boyfriend and I have been planning a move overseas with his teenage daughter and our 4 y.o. daughter for about two years. My whole family lives there and is very supportive of us. We have a house waiting for us and know the schools the girls would attend. His family is very angry about this decision and wants us to stay. Our relationship with them is terrible and we really do not associate with them, but they do see his daughter. My boyfriend has been going to therapy and doing some other things to get healthier and has realized trough this process how dysfunctional his family is.
The last conversation he had with his mother, after he found out that they have been brainwashing his daughter about the move and everything else and telling her to lie to us and bad mouthing us, he told her she would not see her again. She called me the other day to do her usual complaining and BS and then threaten me with :”I am her grandmother and have rights. I will see her if I have to take him to court.”

I am curious, I reviewed, but I may have missed it.

 

[leeleeblue]

She didn't say the age specifially, but did mention that the girl is going into the 11th grade making her 15 or 16.

(Regarding the first page of posts) People move to this country every day and children come with them. They go to school and don't wind up "begging on the streets" because they weren't fluent in English.

I doubt the mother even knows what day it is, let alone wanting to fight for custody. If she's 10k behind in CS, do you really think she'd go to court???

Acceptance, go back to France, have a great time and when the girl turns 18, if she decides to come home, she can. I don't know what 16 year old WOULDN'T want to move to France!! And even if she didn't, she's a MINOR and must do what her custodial parent tells her to do.

I think the real question asked was: Can the GM stop the move, not all this other nonsense advice she's been given. Granny can petition, but I doubt it will do much good. Soothe her while you're still here, then get out right away, before she goes to court!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

So who cares? He can or he can't. That's not what she is asking.
Laura pretty much stated the situation at hand. Dad wants to move, 16yr old daughter wants to go too. Off they go.
If he can't get SSI in France, then he can't. I'm sure it's already been taken into consideration by these folks and I do think she mentioned in a previous post that she knows he can't get it. It doesn't seem to be an issue.

OP asked if GM could stop them from moving. No, she can't. Only her biomom can and I haven't seen a single post where she mentioned whether biomom is on board with this or not. The only posts I've seen indicated biomom isn't even in the picture for the most part.

KLD

Things are not always what they seem, that is why we have to ask questions when it is obvious that significant facts were omitted, otherwise, with facts skewed, the advice is worthless and our time wasted.

The essential question with any moveaway case is the best interest of the children, to answer that we need facts, all of them, not jsut what will yield the desired answer.
OP is a social worker, she is intentionally using the system to further her best interst not that of the child in question, furthermore, the best interest of her biological child and custody is in question come before her interest. No wonder she is upset that GM is objecting to these children be9ng made pawns. This is not the case of an intact family unit moving together to another country, it is an issue because OP's time in this country are at an end and because of her actions and those of dad, she has opened up a can of worms. The only way she can take her biological child to France is if dad and his daughter can move to France and it doesn't look like that will happen unless dad is willing to leave his teenaged daughter behind or finance her return for visitation at his expense, understanding that he will now have to work for a living since he won't get SSI and he won't be allowed to work in France. If the state of Maryland is informed of the fraud, then OP will be forever barred from returning to this country. If they had not been abusing the system, they would not have anything to fear insofar as claims to custody or an interested party petitioning the court to prevent the children from moving to France. If OP were smart, she would have made provisions for generous visitation at her expense, but she is not interested in either of the children's best interest, only her impending deportation.

 

[LdiJ]

YOU ARE wrong,
WRONG,
WRONG.
OP made it perfectly clear that her boyfriend was on SSI, that is Supplemental Security Income, that is paid by the state of Maryland, they will not pay that when he is no longer a resident especially so that he can work under the table or sit on his you know what in France?

SSI is paid by the Social Security Administration, NOT by the state of Maryland, and it will indeed be continued to be paid even if he lives abroad. Both SSI and SSDI are Federal, not state, programs through the SSA.

Here are approx CS calculations based on range of social worker salary in MD. I included dad's income as both $0 & $700 per month. I included 1&2 chidren should the judge order CS for the teenaged daughter based on OP as de Facto parent or should OP decide to have another child before returning to France.
1 child $15hr= 2850 mo 700=404/628 2 children 0=424/657 2 children
1 child $8.5hr = 1462 mo 700=239/413 0=267/371

Child support is completely irrelevant in this instance since DAD has custody of the older child and they are ALL moving to France.

Again, for the sake of the original poster I will repeat....Please get yourself a consult with a local attorney so that you can be certain that you are getting accurate advice.

 

[leeleeblue]

And the whole accusing them of not getting married so they can commit "welfare fraud" is uncalled for. A lot people who have children don't get married but live together for years. My son's Godmother and her now husband were together for 9 years (and have 2 kids, ages 9 and 7) before they finally got married. He is permanently disabled and receives SSI & SSD, were they defrauding the system too?!?!?!

I found this about the Granny:

http://www.bwg-law.com/maryland-grandparents-rights.html

Grandparent rights are governed by § 9-102 of the Maryland Statute:

An equity court may:

(1) consider a petition for reasonable visitation of a grandchild by a grandparent; and

(2) if the court finds it to be in the best interests of the child, grant visitation rights to the grandparent.

Maryland Courts can and do order visitation to grandparents provided that the Court determines that such visitation is in the best interest of the children. The Court will look at various factors such as:

1. Is it in the best interest of the child.

2. What is the current and past relationship of the child with the grandparents.

3. What impact (positive or negative) will the visitation have on the child.

4. Will the visitation impact upon the educational and/or physical activities of the child.

5. To determine what is in the child_s best interest, the Court will consider various factors, including the nature of the child_s relationship with the parents and grandparents, the potential benefits and detriments to granting visitation, the effect grandparent visitation would have on the child_s attachment to the family, the physical and emotional health of the parties, and the stability of the living and schooling arrangements for the child.

These are some of the factors used in determining visitation. Always check with an attorney about your specific fact situation.



BE SMART-UNDERSTAND THE LAW

REAL LAWYERS-FOR REAL PEOPLE-WITH REAL PROBLEMS

FOR FREE CONSULTATION CALL: 301 738-5700*

 

[rmet4nzkx]

She didn't say the age specifially, but did mention that the girl is going into the 11th grade making her 15 or 16.

If she is in 11th grade she is 16 or 17.

(Regarding the first page of posts) People move to this country every day and children come with them.

Intact families with no interested parties having claims for custody or to block a move. This move is not in the child's best interest, it is because OP has no choice, she must return to France, and if she need only remain in France 1 year in order to return, then she doesn't need to move this entire family unit which has ties to the USA and another parent to consider.

They go to school and don't wind up "begging on the streets" because they weren't fluent in English.

You are confused because you don't understand the French educational system or Dole system, If the teenaged daughter is not already fluent in French, even if she graduates from their high School, she will neither qualify for their University system or even be able to get a job because they are guarenteed for life, thus France has a DOLE for those who cannot attend University or get a job and thus a DOLE and allowed to preform on the streets or beg in the METRO. THe problem, here is that since teenaged daughter is a USC she would not be entitled to anything even the right to work, they are not going to pay dad to remain disabled and pay him welfare to come and live there. Your ignorance is causing your confusion.

I doubt the mother even knows what day it is, let alone wanting to fight for custody. If she's 10k behind in CS, do you really think she'd go to court???

We really have no facts re mom or why she doesn't have custody, she may even have joint custody and visitation rights, even if she doesn't, she can still object to the move. It is very possible that dad has custody in order to get welfare for his daughter and mom doesn't pay CS in exchange for not reporting OP and dad's welfare fraud.

Acceptance, go back to France, have a great time and when the girl turns 18, if she decides to come home, she can. I don't know what 16 year old WOULDN'T want to move to France!! And even if she didn't, she's a MINOR and must do what her custodial parent tells her to do.

OP and only, OP, must return to France. The teenaged daughter may go to France when she is an adult and custody is not an issue. Teenagers want to do many things, parents, OP is not her parent, are responsible to protect their children. If this was a foreign exchange student situation, it would be different, but it is not and her future is at risk because of OP's selfishness. She also stands to lose custody of her child as well.

I think the real question asked was: Can the GM stop the move, not all this other nonsense advice she's been given. Granny can petition, but I doubt it will do much good. Soothe her while you're still here, then get out right away, before she goes to court!!

You may consider it nonsense, but there is a reason why OP omitted the facts, starting with why they were moving, she was not forthcomming, there is always a reason. If dad is on SSI and not SSDI but qualified, then he has never worked and with a teenaged daughter at least 16 dad must be at least 32 or older, he is not going to ever be able to support his family and his family may be supporting them for many years already and very likely have standing to sue for both visitation and custody if they can prove that dad is unfit.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

And the whole accusing them of not getting married so they can commit "welfare fraud" is uncalled for.

SSI is linked to household income, a spouse is supposed to support their spouse, so her income would be considered if they were married and that would affect his benefit, thus to live together as man and wife for the purpose of falsifying his eligibility is fraud, also she apparently believes he can work, so he is malingering, anothe form of fraud, that is why I said dad should go to work, that will avoid many of the problems they face.

 

[leeleeblue]

No, she said she GOING into the 11th grade, making her, currently, either 15 or 16. I wasn't 17 until I was a senior.

 

[leeleeblue]

Why should they get married? Just because he gets SSI? He was probably getting SSI when she met him and when she got pregnant. Just because her income has to be reported doesn't mean they have to be married. Did she say they are keeping her income a "secret" from the SSI board (so many posts, not sure if she stated that)? You're just assuming and accusing them of a criminal act.

I have no reason to learn about the French school system, I could care less. Again, you're assuming that the girl will wind up on the street because she can't speak fluent French. For all you know, OP's family could be filthy, stinking rich and own their own company and the girl could work for them and wouldn't need to go to University or she can be home schooled or got to a school with English speaking teachers and students (they do have them in other countries, including France, correct? Or do you know every school in France and that none of them accomodate English speaking students?!?!?!?)

There is an International School in France, where OMG they speak English!!

British School of Paris
Address
38 Quai de l'Ecluse, 78290, Croissy-sur-Seine, France
Tel: (+33) 1 34 80 45 94
Fax: (+33) 1 39 76 12 69
[email protected]


School Summary:
National UK, curricula.
900 students, 4-18 yrs.


The British School of Paris caters for English-speaking children of 50 nationalities (about 60% of them British) from ages 4-18. It is a non-profit Association in France and is managed by a Board of Governors under the patronage of His Excellency the British Ambassador.

The British School of Paris is on two campuses in the western suburbs of Paris. The Junior School occupies a beautiful wooded site overlooking the Seine valley and has many modern facilities including an indoor swimming pool and a large play area. Pupils at the British School of Paris follow the English National Curriculum with emphasis on English, maths, science and the French language. Various sports, music and drama, together with many extra-curricular activities, are also provided.

At the Senior School at the British School of Paris modern facilities include four spacious laboratories, a well-equipped Technology Centre and a sports hall. Students enter the British School of Paris at the age of 11 and for the first three years a broad general curriculum is maintained in line with the National Curriculum. Pupils are prepared for the GCSE, 'AS' and 'A' level examinations in a comprehensive range of subjects. Modest class sizes and a supportive pastoral system mean that new pupils integrate quickly and are well-motivated in their work. Attainment is high and the majority of pupils gain good university places

See? You don't have to be fluent in French to go to University after all, hmmmmm.

 

[leeleeblue]

but there is a reason why OP omitted the facts, starting with why they were moving, she was not forthcomming, there is always a reason

She did give a reason. She said her work visa expires soon. I would assume she wants the man she loves and their child to go with her. I mean, you wouldn't leave the father of your child(ren) if you had to leave the country, would you (assuming you have children/hubby/fiance/bf/lover)?

Not only that, I don't think she has to give her entire life story to get an answer to her question(s).

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Why should they get married? Just because he gets SSI? He was probably getting SSI when she met him and when she got pregnant. Just because her income has to be reported doesn't mean they have to be married. Did she say they are keeping her income a "secret" from the SSI board (so many posts, not sure if she stated that)? You're just assuming and accusing them of a criminal act.

She acknowledged that she omitted facts because it was a can of worms and read my response and failed to respond again with any other facts. After a while we see the same thing over and over again, it happens when people come knowing they don't have a case but hope that by omitting the facts that some well intended person will aid and abet them. THat is why we ask questions, that is why attorneys ask questions, in fact I have consulted several attorneys re this matter and they agree with me. Attorneys don't wan't surprises in a court room. She did acknowledge that he couldn't afford to live in the US without her income and that he would have to find some way to work in France, IF he was allowed to work at all. She is a Social Worker, she knows exactly what she is doing.

I have no reason to learn about the French school system, I could care less.

Then you have no reason giving advice on the subject and voice your uninformed opinions as if they were facts. I know about the French school system because I studied there. You don't see OP questioning any of those aspects of my responses, she should know, right?

Again, you're assuming that the girl will wind up on the street because she can't speak fluent French.

No, you are assuming that is the reason.

For all you know, OP's family could be filthy, stinking rich and own their own company

Wrong, OP stated that her family would be supportive and that they would help them find work.

and the girl could work for them and wouldn't need to go to University or she can be home schooled or got to a school with English speaking teachers and students (they do have them in other countries, including France, correct?

Wrong, I asked specific questions re where and whay type of school, the teenaged child would attendbut since you are ignorant of their system, you did not pick up on the fact that the child would attend a local public "high School" and live at home, so she would not be attending a school where classes were taught in English, or any private or alternative school where her language deficits might be accommodated, thus her prospects are very dim unless she is already fluent and able to pass the exams. Since the French underwrite private education, most French teenagers and qualified residents can actually afford to sent their children away to private secondary schools where their chances of passing the exams for universityare greatly increased leaving most who cannot afford the extra to attend the private schools to the dole.

Or do you know every school in France and that none of them accomodate English speaking students?!?!?!?)

OP alreasy stated she would not attend such a school.

See? You don't have to be fluent in French to go to University after all, hmmmmm.

hummmmmmmmmmm I never said that!
The French would just love you! lol!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

She did give a reason. She said her work visa expires soon. I would assume she wants the man she loves and their child to go with her. I mean, you wouldn't leave the father of your child(ren) if you had to leave the country, would you (assuming you have children/hubby/fiance/bf/lover)?

Not only that, I don't think she has to give her entire life story to get an answer to her question(s).

She did not give the facts in the begining because she knew that would affect the advice she would receive. We need the facts to advise. The reason is important because we need to determine the best interest of the child, not just whether a trip to France is fun for a teenager. If the child was going as a foreign exchange student, I don't think anyone would object, that is not the case.