Single mother rights

[Ohiogal]

Just like it's the adult thing for the potential father to step up and actually put forth the effort to see the CHILD...please

Actually no. The potential father knows nothing than that he had sex with the mother. He doesn't know who else has been visiting mom's basement. As the CP mom has a responsibility to FACILITATE the relationship between child and dad. Mom knows who she has been schtupping. The men don't know necessarily.

 

[cyjeff]

Actually no. The potential father knows nothing than that he had sex with the mother. He doesn't know who else has been visiting mom's basement. As the CP mom has a responsibility to FACILITATE the relationship between child and dad. Mom knows who she has been schtupping. The men don't know necessarily.

Please use the term "woo woo" rather than "basement" so that we are all on the same, err, page.

I said the exact same thing. Apparently, this poster enjoys slamming "damn men" much more than actually understanding the facts.

 

[AHA]

Oh for God's sake, can OP have her thread back, ya think???!
It's not the courts job to chase down who are parents to who, so if daddy isn't moving the process further it's obviously up to mommy. Is she doesn't do it either, it's clear that the child is left hanging in the wind. GREAT PARENTING!!!!!!!!!

 

[princessmerry]

Wow.. didn't mean

to cause a bunch of bantering. It was just a few simple legal questions.
#1.. there was only ONE "jimmy" in my hoo hoo. So YES I do know who the bio dad is.
#2.. there is NO father listed on the birth certificate because the bio dad hauled as when I told him I was pregnant so why would I give him the joy and power to automatically be able to be a "father" if at any time he chose to do so? Now he is forced to EARN that right, if he so chooses.
#3.. I tried for 9 months of pregnancy and 1 month of her life to "foster" a relationship between her and the sperm donor. He chose to run to mama and escape any duty or responsibility so I was forced to do it all, and gladly I did.
#4.. now his mother has made him come forward and want to see her even though he has no job (obviously that will mean NO support, not that it's any different then it has been all this time) along with the fact that he has no room for her to stay at the residence where he squats.
I feel all of my actions are geared toward the best interested of my child. If ya'll don't agree, then so be it, but I was asking for some legal information not for your opinion about my choices or your approval as I need neither.
Thank you.

 

[Isis1]

to cause a bunch of bantering. It was just a few simple legal questions.
#1.. there was only ONE "jimmy" in my hoo hoo. So YES I do know who the bio dad is.
#2.. there is NO father listed on the birth certificate because the bio dad hauled as when I told him I was pregnant so why would I give him the joy and power to automatically be able to be a "father" if at any time he chose to do so? Now he is forced to EARN that right, if he so chooses.
#3.. I tried for 9 months of pregnancy and 1 month of her life to "foster" a relationship between her and the sperm donor. He chose to run to mama and escape any duty or responsibility so I was forced to do it all, and gladly I did.
#4.. now his mother has made him come forward and want to see her even though he has no job (obviously that will mean NO support, not that it's any different then it has been all this time) along with the fact that he has no room for her to stay at the residence where he squats.
I feel all of my actions are geared toward the best interested of my child. If ya'll don't agree, then so be it, but I was asking for some legal information not for your opinion about my choices or your approval as I need neither.
Thank you.

honey. dad can do this until the child is 18. and as the parent, you are required to foster that relationship UNTIL the split second the child is 18. that's the legal fact. as soon as dad is legally established as the father.

until then, you can legally tell him to kick rocks. or any other colorful way you can imagine.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

YOU can file for support. He can be imputed an income based on what he is capable of making, at least minimum wage.

Dad can file for parenting time. Do a search on your state and infant parenting time. Expect a graduated schedule with frequent short visits.

 

[princessmerry]

Thank you

that is basically the answer I was trying to achieve.
I didn't choose to take this path alone, but was forced to as "jimmys" owner chose to puss out and haul ass.
My guess is now he has to file a motion with the court to subpoena me to turn over my child for a dna test correct?
And who pays for that by the way, since Ive not now nor will I ever file for child support.

 

[xxnatalixx]

to cause a bunch of bantering. It was just a few simple legal questions.
#1.. there was only ONE "jimmy" in my hoo hoo. So YES I do know who the bio dad is.
#2.. there is NO father listed on the birth certificate because the bio dad hauled as when I told him I was pregnant so why would I give him the joy and power to automatically be able to be a "father" if at any time he chose to do so? Now he is forced to EARN that right, if he so chooses.
#3.. I tried for 9 months of pregnancy and 1 month of her life to "foster" a relationship between her and the sperm donor. He chose to run to mama and escape any duty or responsibility so I was forced to do it all, and gladly I did.
#4.. now his mother has made him come forward and want to see her even though he has no job (obviously that will mean NO support, not that it's any different then it has been all this time) along with the fact that he has no room for her to stay at the residence where he squats.
I feel all of my actions are geared toward the best interested of my child. If ya'll don't agree, then so be it, but I was asking for some legal information not for your opinion about my choices or your approval as I need neither.
Thank you.

How large is your infant? Seems like a kid that age wouldn't take up much room.

 

[Ohiogal]

that is basically the answer I was trying to achieve.
I didn't choose to take this path alone, but was forced to as "jimmys" owner chose to puss out and haul ass.
My guess is now he has to file a motion with the court to subpoena me to turn over my child for a dna test correct?
And who pays for that by the way, since Ive not now nor will I ever file for child support.

If you wanted him to be responsible just because you got pregnant then you should have not had a baby without being married to him first. NO ONE BUT YOU knows for a FACT who you schtupped. And yes a court can ORDER YOU to bring your child for DNA testing. Not subpoena but ORDER. Who pays for it depends on a variety of factors.

 

[princessmerry]

She is only an infant. But my point is that the bio dad does NOT have his own room in this place he stays. He sleeps on the couch with a friend who sleeps on the floor as well as 3 other people whom sleep in their respective rooms.
This I don't consider a good enviornment. She gets no privacy to be able to sleep free of noise etc.
In addition they smoke (both cigarettes and pot) as well as drink beer there.
CAll me silly but I don't feel any of this is a good situation to put my child in.

 

[nextwife]

to cause a bunch of bantering. It was just a few simple legal questions.
#1.. there was only ONE "jimmy" in my hoo hoo. So YES I do know who the bio dad is.
#2.. there is NO father listed on the birth certificate because the bio dad hauled as when I told him I was pregnant so why would I give him the joy and power to automatically be able to be a "father" if at any time he chose to do so? Now he is forced to EARN that right, if he so chooses.
#3.. I tried for 9 months of pregnancy and 1 month of her life to "foster" a relationship between her and the sperm donor. He chose to run to mama and escape any duty or responsibility so I was forced to do it all, and gladly I did.
#4.. now his mother has made him come forward and want to see her even though he has no job (obviously that will mean NO support, not that it's any different then it has been all this time) along with the fact that he has no room for her to stay at the residence where he squats.
I feel all of my actions are geared toward the best interested of my child. If ya'll don't agree, then so be it, but I was asking for some legal information not for your opinion about my choices or your approval as I need neither.
Thank you.

You state he's pretty much always been unemployed? Well then, you KNEW who and what you were choosing as the father of your child. He didn't QUIT a great paying job to avoid CS.

It's nice that YOU know he's the only potential dad, however, there is NO WAY dad can know that.

Dad doesn't need a lot of room. You know, in many countries, entire families live in one or two rooms. When my hubby was a child, he and his mom shared an apartment (assigned by the government) with FIVE other families! And it didn't even have a shower or a private toilet. He grew up just fine.

If you wanted a guy who had plenty of room, you should have selected a guy who was financially stable and had already secured his own home with plenty of extra room for a child. You ended up with the dad YOU picked.

 

[princessmerry]

I agree.. I should not EXPECT him to automatically take responsibility. But with that being said, why should I now, after 9 months of pregnancy and 2 months of her life without his help or concern, let him waltz in and do as he wishes?
All of the sudden he feels he should have her 50% of the time when hes never even cared to lay eyes on her! Are you kidding me. 50% of the time??
I told him I was going to start feeding her cereal when she's 3 months old and he responded "you can't feed her cereal like capt crunch, she has no teeth". And ya'll think I'm going to let him take care of her 50% of the time?
You gotta be joking.
I gave him nearly a year to step up. He chose not to. I won't make it easy now. If he wants to step up, then he'd better be ready for a battle. My child is worth more then just being a "convenience" to some sperm donor.

 

[princessmerry]

Lets review this. First of all no one asked me if he was employed while I was with him. Had you asked I would gladly have answered with a resounding YES, he was employed full time while we were together. At some point however he decided that he wasn't cut out to work... those are his exact words, he is cut out to make music.
Next, that's great how other families live in other societies outside of the US. But I live in the US, therefore I really don't give a hoot how others live in other countries, nor do I believe for a second that the court would care either.
I suppose this drama will end when it ends, but I prepared for a fight.
The bio dad never once said he didn't think he was the father. Infact he's accepted that he was this entire time. He just chose not to want anything to do with her until lately when he's not decided he wants to have her 50% of the time.
I find this simply ridiculous!

 

[nextwife]

I agree.. I should not EXPECT him to automatically take responsibility. But with that being said, why should I now, after 9 months of pregnancy and 2 months of her life without his help or concern, let him waltz in and do as he wishes?
All of the sudden he feels he should have her 50% of the time when hes never even cared to lay eyes on her! Are you kidding me. 50% of the time??
I told him I was going to start feeding her cereal when she's 3 months old and he responded "you can't feed her cereal like capt crunch, she has no teeth". And ya'll think I'm going to let him take care of her 50% of the time?
You gotta be joking.
I gave him nearly a year to step up. He chose not to. I won't make it easy now. If he wants to step up, then he'd better be ready for a battle. My child is worth more then just being a "convenience" to some sperm donor.

You are still not getting this.

You were NOT his spouse. He has ZERO responsibility to you during A PREGNANCY that may, or may not, be HIS child.

Additionally, if he files for paternity establishment, you will have no say in his rights being established. If you absolutely wanted your child to have no father- you could have chosen sperm bank donor sperm, or single parent adoption. You chose to get pregnant with little regard for who you selected as dad. you can't undo that choice now.

BTW- I didn't get to start parenting my child until age two, and she did just fine having strangers step in at 25 months old to become her parents. Children are very resilient. The fact that your child is "already" a mere two months will not make a whit of difference in their ability to bond with their father. His being MIA previously won't matter.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Unless you agree, the chance of dad waltzing in a getting 50% is slim to none. Look up infant parenting time for Montana. What you'll most like find is that dad will get 2-3 hours several times a week. Eventually it graduates to overnights, etc.