Father has been in contact with me and we are actually working hard on settling out of court. We continued our court date that was supposed to be Monday, so we have until may to settle on a stipulation together. I have put my own stipulation together based solely on the mediator's report, and I was wondering if you all might review it and tell me if it looks ok:
Always WAY better if the two of you can agree on something. I'll only comment on the following items.
4. That the parties herein shall modify father’s visitation to include altered time in the summer. Starting June 11th, the father shall have the children in his care on alternating weeks from Saturday at 6:30pm until the following Saturday dropping them off at 6:30pm. The weekend before school begins, the father's time shall go back to every second and fourth weekend and every fifth weekend in odd months, from Friday at 6:30pm until Sunday at 6:30pm.
Pretty good, but some room for confusion.
For example, as I understand it, the alternating weeks don't really start on June 11, but on the first Saturday after June 11. But what if June 11 is a Saturday? In addition, when you say 'alternating weeks', it's not clear who goes first.
I would say something like:
Father shall have the children beginning at 6:30 pm on the first Saturday after June 11 (including June 11) until the following Saturday at 6:30 pm, and then every other week from Saturday at 6:30 pm to the following Saturday at 6:30 pm. You can probably come up with better wording, but you want to make sure there's no confusion.
"odd months" is unusual terminology. I'd simply say that Dad has the second, fourth, and fifth weekend at those times. If there is no 5th weekend, it doesn't apply.
The bigger problem is "what is the 2nd, 4th, and 5th weekend". Let's say that the month starts on Sunday - which is the first weekend? What if it starts on Saturday - which is the first weekend? And what if the month ends on Friday? is that a weekend? What if it ends on Saturday? Is that a weekend?
Frankly, I think all of those things make "2nd, 4th, and 5th weekends" confusing. If you say, every other weekend and choose a starting point, there's nothing to fight about later. You can enter it into a calendar on a computer with just a few keystrokes and the 'every other weekend' will automatically be marked for the next 20 years if you wish.
5. Parents shall consult with one another and reach a consensus prior to the children being removed from their current schools.
I might reverse this. Saying that the parents shall reach a consensus implies that the court is ordering you to agree - which can't happen. Rather, I'd say something like "Children will remain in their current school system unless both parents agree to a change".
6. The parents agree to communicate directly with one another and not through third parties. Mother and father's wife shall not contact one another unless communication is necessary in the event of an emergency.
OK.
7. The parents shall communicate directly with one another regarding the children's health, education and welfare via telephone.
I'm not so sure about this one. Some people just communicate more effectively by email. I can't stand talking with my ex by phone - she drives me up a wall. But as long as we can keep it to email, we do OK (email also provides a written record). You know what works for the two of you and if telephone is what's best, go ahead. But don't rule out other options without thinking about it.
8. Each parent shall research a co-parenting education options and complete a program that is affordable. (Referrals were provided to each parent during mediation.)
When? What is affordable? What happens if you don't do it (a court is unlikely to find someone in contempt for not taking a co-parenting class, especially when the order is so vague).
Is the price something that you can both afford? If so, leave it out. Simply state that each parent will complete at least one of the co-parenting education classes on the referral sheet within one year. (In extreme cases, one could even specify a punishment if this isn't done - that visitation would be suspended until the class was completed, but I really wouldn't go there).
9 If either parent is running late for an exchange he/she will provide notice to other parent of the expected arrival time.
What if they don't? And what if the parent simply doesn't show up?
I assume that the intent of this is that CP doesn't want to be sitting around all weekend waiting for the other parent to pick up the kids. If so, address that issue directly - such as "if a parent has not arrived to pick up the children within 1 hour of the scheduled time without making alternate arrangements with the other parent, the parent can assume that they are not coming for that weekend". I'm not really recommending that because it doesn't work for all situations, but I want you to think about the objections. Or maybe you go ahead and use your wording and then say if the other parent doesn't arrive within 1 hour and hasn't provided notice, that the other parent can return home. Or whatever.
10. Both parents shall appropriately treat the children for head lice when an outbreak occurs and shall notify the other parent as soon as possible of same. The parents shall share information with one another regarding their treatment efforts with regard to products used, actions taken, additional actions needed, etc.
OK. Do you want to limit this to head lice or included other medical problems, too?
11. Neither parent shall make any negative or disparaging comments about the other parent in the presence or hearing of the children nor allow any other person or family members to do so.
The latter part is often used, but not really enforceable. I can't prevent a family member from saying whatever they want. Perhaps "and will attempt to prevent any other person or family member {most of my family members are persons, so this is redundant -- with just a few exceptions
} from doing so" rather than "nor allow any other person"
12. The children shall not be physically disciplined by any third parties.
What is physical discipline? Someone might argue that forcing the child to sit in corner is physical punishment. I might be clearer "no hitting, spanking, etc by third parties".
Good luck.
