Taking the kids while Dad is away

[stealth2]

If I were you, I'd make the stepson OR his mother pay me for repair to that dresser. If they refused, he'd be doing a LOT of housework/yardwork until I felt his "debt" was sufficiently covered.

Gee... might it not be a good idea to first actually find out which kid did it? OP doesn't even know when it happened, let alone who's responsible. It's not out of the realm of possibility that it was actually one of her own kids goofing around. But, oh, since it's DAD's kid and MOM is such a b*tch - must be the skid.

Yeah - this assumption pushes my buttons.

 

[BTB225]

well, the problem is, I don't know which kid did it, and I'll never find out!! No one did it - sometimes I feel like I have ghosts in the house!!!

I have not told him about the dresser - he works over nights, so I talked briefly this morning but didn't get that far.

I guess he lied to the police to cover for a friend who was accused of stealing, and it wasn't that person anyway -so why they didn't just say that to begin with is SO beyond me!! Teenagers??
So, it wasn't so much that he was in trouble, but his mouth sure did get him there.

They come over tomorrow for the weekend, I intend to ask about the dresser and I am going to watch like a hawk ALL weekend.

 

[jslopez711]

Gee... might it not be a good idea to first actually find out which kid did it? OP doesn't even know when it happened, let alone who's responsible. It's not out of the realm of possibility that it was actually one of her own kids goofing around. But, oh, since it's DAD's kid and MOM is such a b*tch - must be the skid.

Yeah - this assumption pushes my buttons.

You know stealth, reading this thread has made me loose my appetite. I see it but I still can't believe what is going on here.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Take a piece of paper and pencil, place the paper over the carving and make a graphite rubbing of sonnyboy's artwork. Next time he is there have him sign it for mom, frame it and have him give it to her for Mother's Day, explaining that he carved the initials on your dresser instead of her's.

 

[BTB225]

Gee... might it not be a good idea to first actually find out which kid did it? OP doesn't even know when it happened, let alone who's responsible. It's not out of the realm of possibility that it was actually one of her own kids goofing around. But, oh, since it's DAD's kid and MOM is such a b*tch - must be the skid.

Yeah - this assumption pushes my buttons.

And before I read your posting, I just said I don't know which kid it was/ I guess his kid, because of the initials used. But I know I can't rule out anyone. And I have ONE child, and I kind of think he would not destroy his own piece of furniture!!!

 

[stealth2]

Take a piece of paper and pencil, place the paper over the carving and make a graphite rubbing of sonnyboy's artwork. Next time he is there have him sign it for mom, frame it and have him give it to her for Mother's Day, explaining that he carved the initials on your dresser instead of her's.

And again - OP has NO idea who did the carving. It COULD have been the 8yo, for all anyone knows.

Like I said, this one pushes buttons for me. My kids are the two older when they go to their Dad's house, and they constantly get accused of doing crap, when it's actually the two younger who set them up. Don't accuse unless you know for sure.

 

[stealth2]

And before I read your posting, I just said I don't know which kid it was/ I guess his kid, because of the initials used. But I know I can't rule out anyone. And I have ONE child, and I kind of think he would not destroy his own piece of furniture!!!

You would be surprised. My two have younger ssibs who have done just that sort of thing to get the older ones in trouble. Now, I'm not saying your son DID. But it's not right to simply assume.

 

[jslopez711]

And before I read your posting, I just said I don't know which kid it was/ I guess his kid, because of the initials used. But I know I can't rule out anyone. And I have ONE child, and I kind of think he would not destroy his own piece of furniture!!!

Great job Columbo, initials huh.

 

[BTB225]

You would be surprised. My two have younger ssibs who have done just that sort of thing to get the older ones in trouble. Now, I'm not saying your son DID. But it's not right to simply assume.

And I am not assuming it was anyone.

This is just part of the whole problem and was not my original question. My original question is am I legally obligated to keep babysitting them while my husband is not here.

I suppose it could have been my son who engraved the initials on his dresser. My husbands youngest and my son are just 4 months apart, and they are usually friends. That is another part of why I have let them come over since he left. It gives the 2 of them a chance to play together.
It is the mouth on the oldest that is grinding into me.

 

[stealth2]

And you were told in the first replies that you are under no obligation to take the kids.

And the assumption part was more aimed at MrsK and met. Although you did intimate earlier on that it must've been the older kid. And I'm not meaning to say that your kid set him up. But kids can be funny, and as Mom's - we have a tendency to cut our own a lot of slack. Plus, Like I said - my kids have been on that other end, and it's pretty cruddy.

 

[MrsK]

And you were told in the first replies that you are under no obligation to take the kids.

And the assumption part was more aimed at MrsK and met. Although you did intimate earlier on that it must've been the older kid. And I'm not meaning to say that your kid set him up. But kids can be funny, and as Mom's - we have a tendency to cut our own a lot of slack. Plus, Like I said - my kids have been on that other end, and it's pretty cruddy.

OP- do ALL the kids have the same initials???

I am assuimg (and perhaps I shouldnt have) because if one of MY kids carved their initials into something, I would immediately know the culprit b/c NONE of my children have the same initials...they are RN, EN, and NK..my stepdaughters are KK. So it would be easy to tell who was getting punished.

 

[bononos]

excellent.

Thanks.

The problem is - I think he swears freely because that is how his mother speaks to him. I have seen her personally yelling at him with the F bombs flowing and I was appalled!!! I would NEVER speak to my child in that way, and she makes this behavior the norm!!

I have told him it is not funny and he said yes it is.

Fortunately for me, he has a job, so most weekends he is working so his visits over are kind of rare. He was over last weekend, because he had to serve community service, and I took him (to be nice) only to find out she took the weekend off!! I was SO mad. That is why I say she totally took advantage of me. It should have been HER to take him, since he is HER responsibility. I agreed because I assumed she'd be at work.

I am so done being nice with her

2 words...
HOT SAUCE!

 

[stealth2]

OP- do ALL the kids have the same initials???

I am assuimg (and perhaps I shouldnt have) because if one of MY kids carved their initials into something, I would immediately know the culprit b/c NONE of my children have the same initials...they are RN, EN, and NK..my stepdaughters are KK. So it would be easy to tell who was getting punished.

OMG! How right you are! Because NO kid has EVER thought how easy it would be to get the other kid in trouble by using THEIR initials instead! Just like my ex's skids would NEVER think of slamming their cd player on the floor and say one of our kids did it! Because every child (except the ex-wife's) is perfect!

MrsK? You are really an idjit if you believe what you just typed.

 

[MrsK]

OMG! How right you are! Because NO kid has EVER thought how easy it would be to get the other kid in trouble by using THEIR initials instead! Just like my ex's skids would NEVER think of slamming their cd player on the floor and say one of our kids did it! Because every child (except the ex-wife's) is perfect!

MrsK? You are really an idjit if you believe what you just typed.

Idjit I havent heard someone use that word in a long time.

I do believe it, but I guess its because I never grew up with kids who did stuff like this and my children have never done anything like carving initials (or anything for that matter) into furniture or destroying other ppls property and I know I wouldve gotten a punishment to rival no other punishment if I had done anything of the sort, and thats probably why I never did it. For some reason the children I know (or friends of mine who are now adults) who knew they'd get it big time for doing stuff like that usually never did stuff like that. Of course, I did grow up in a somewhat sheltered and strict environment, but I'd like to think that's why I wasnt ever in trouble with the law or particularily defiant.

My children are also currently pretty young, so I guess I will give them quite a few more years before I'd label them "perfect"

 

[stealth2]

See, my kids ssibs (at their Dad's) do. And believe me - I tend to assume my kids COULD have done whatever before I take their word for it because they have good reason to feel resentful of their ssibs. So I go to great lengths to find out what actually happened before I make a final decision in that regard. It would be nice if their Dad did.