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Things that cannot be said enough...

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LdiJ

Senior Member
I still screw up AFFECT and EFFECT. Always. Forever. Even when I was teaching the ACT/SAT prep class I still had to look it up and copy it straight from the cheat sheets.
One way to look at it is that an "effect" is a thing, a result, while an affect, is a cause of something.

My attitude affects my relationship with other people.

My bad relationships with people are an effect of my poor attitude.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
One way to look at it is that an "effect" is a thing, a result, while an affect, is a cause of something.

My attitude affects my relationship with other people.

My bad relationships with people are an effect of my poor attitude.
I admit I need help with that. Effect is a thing. Affect is a cause.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
Moving to be closer to YOUR family might be in YOUR best interest but it’s unlikely that it’s in the CHILD’s best interest.

That stupid, crack-head idiot that you chose to mate with is part of the CHILD’s family. It’s the CHILD’s FAMILY, inclusive of MOM and DAD, which the court will seek to keep in tact.

******************
I say it’s a MUTE point… followed by “Doh!”

Jokingly, my friend and I would say, “regardlessly” until I slipped and used the “word” at work.

"it will affect the effect" I like that. Quick and easy to use on the spot
 
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>Charlotte<

Lurker
One way to look at it is that an "effect" is a thing, a result, while an affect, is a cause of something.
But with me, when it comes time to use one of them I'm looking up at the ceiling and chewing on my pencil and thinking "now, which one was the thing, and which one was the result?" Coincidentally, I had to ask my husband last night which was which, and I hate admitting he knows something that I don't, :rolleyes: so I resolved to get it in my head once and for all. I thought we were supposed to get smarter as we got older??

Edited because my other thing is always wanting to spell coincidentally with two o's.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
I admit I need help with that. Effect is a thing. Affect is a cause.
Don't feel bad...I have to recite, "i before e except after c every time I write a word with an ie combination. I am 50 years old, with a college degree and half of a masters and I still can't get that basic gramatical issue correct without reciting the dang ditty.

My grandmother was a middle school english teacher....she probably rolls over in her grave every time I do that...sigh.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Another one for the list:

When you are talking about the child's other parent, remember that you are referring to the contributor of half their genes. If you always bad mouth the other parent, then you are instilling a sense of worthlessness to your child.

I would hope that you can express some good things about the other spouse to your child so that they can find this same goodness within themselves. You may have to dig deep sometimes, but it does become easier.
 

peppier

Member
, "i before e except after c every time I write a word with an ie combination.

I shouldn't even admit this but the vowels in my last name are e before i. If I write it, I have no problem but if I'm asked I have to think i before e except in my last name and I've had this last name for over 36 yrs.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
, "i before e except after c every time I write a word with an ie combination.
Hey, wait a minute. What about weird? That's not i before e. And what about science? That's still i before e even with the c. WHO MAKES THESE RULES?????? I think they're just ******* with us.
 

carofl93

Member
Point 1:
Be succinct and to the point. There are real lawyers and judges who help here, out of the kindness of their own hearts. They don't want to read through 15 paragraphs.

Point 2:
Paragraphs are your friends. If you put the nice white space in between you're more likely to get help than those who do not (and you might get some of Silverplum's fabulous Rum pudding!).

Point 3: If you are a step parent (I am one), don't come in here with the words "we" and "our" when referring to your step kids. The only people who matter are the natural parents. I was an overstepping SM for a long time. Now I sit back and watch. I'm a custodial SM, so I don't get a break from my SD. Not my fault, nor my problem to deal with. i do ask questions for the hubby, and do admit to loving my SD as mine, but don't refer to her as being "my" kid. She's the hubby's kid (....and the SeaHags). You will not get far more respect here by using "his" and "their".

Point 4: If you don't want to see the bad news related to a question, don't ask it. Likewise, don't rip on those who took their time to give advice. It's the FreeAdvice forum, and to be blunt, you get what you pay for. If I had to pay for all of the advice I've gotten here, I'd be living in a box somewhere. For the most part, the people here are extremely knowledgable, helpful and supportive if given the right info.

Point 5: If you don't like the advice you recieve, do what most momma's say: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I personally love this place. I get help and entertainment in the same place. There are really good people here, and you can't beat the price, whether it be serious help or just a chuckle.
 
Ok, I know a lot of you first timers out there, think that you are getting "bashed." I remember thinking that my first time here.....but the point is, this people know what they are talking about. I went to court and everything that they said would happen...did happen. Listen to it, it is valid
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I haven't read all the new post to this so I hope I am not reiterating what has already been said:

US Law Only - WHEN POSTING A QUESTION, YOU MUST INCLUDE THE NAME OF YOUR STATE

And another thing...Signiture lines are not directed at any one poster!!!!!! I currently have a new member who is bashing me 'cause she insists that my siggy line is/was a direct insult to her!! EVEN AFTER I EXPLAINED THAT IT WASN'T!! :mad:
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Ok, I know a lot of you first timers out there, think that you are getting "bashed." I remember thinking that my first time here.....but the point is, this people know what they are talking about. I went to court and everything that they said would happen...did happen. Listen to it, it is valid
Say this again and again and again. Heck we know what we are talking about. you might not like the delivery but guess what -- it will help you if you can deal with it.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I haven't read all the new post to this so I hope I am not reiterating what has already been said:

US Law Only - WHEN POSTING A QUESTION, YOU MUST INCLUDE THE NAME OF YOUR STATE

And another thing...Signiture lines are not directed at any one poster!!!!!! I currently have a new member who is bashing me 'cause she insists that my siggy line is/was a direct insult to her!! EVEN AFTER I EXPLAINED THAT IT WASN'T!! :mad:
Said new poster has been reported. Oh and by the way another thing to add:

When you post here do not dare to insult or call senior members names or personally attack them or you will be reported. Sorta like a court can hold you in contempt for your attitude -- if you are told to cut it out and don't.

Two cases that illustrate this point:
I had a case where as GAL I was for a parent getting custody and said parent did not because said parent was rude and arrogant to the judge even after being told several times to knock it off. The court had read my report prior to said outburst and asked what I thought afterwards regarding giving custody of a literal delinquent back to this parent who showed such a positive role model in the courtroom. I changed my recommendation. Attitude impacts a lot.
Oh and for those who think i am harsh, as GAL, I told the parents involved in a case while IN THE COURTROOM UNDER OATH that my opinion was as follows: Based on the fact that the parties decided they were mature enough to have sex and procreate then they should be mature enough to grow the hell up and start acting like adults rather than how they were acting because they were being disgraceful when it came to their actions in front of their children. I went on for five minutes with no attorney objecting or interupting. I even made the comment that if they were able to stand each other for the thirty seconds it took to spread their legs and become pregnant that they needed to stand each other long enough to do what was best for the children that resulted.
After I shut up, guess what the magistrate did? The magistrate told the parents that every word I stated was the absolute truth and that if they did not listen and it did not sink in they would be harming their children and it was time to really listen to what my report stated. Then guess what? The parents' attorneys sided with me. So if anyone here thinks I am harsh -- I am the same way here that I am in court. And I get backed up by the magistrates and judges. I also get backed up by the other attorneys. At another hearing with the same parties, the parents stated they took my advice to heart and were actually working WITH each other and had reached an agreement that they entered and that was signed as an order.
I say this only because for those who think that court is going to be all sweetness and light and that we are rough here -- this is easy. This is nothing. Because here you can vent. Try venting in court like you do here. It doesn't work unless you know when you can vent and how to vent. Calling us senior members names and insulting us -- not going to get you far. And even doing that to junior members -- still not going to get you far.
 
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