Transportation Issue

[2Mistakes]

What if he gets your stepdaughter a day early?

The kids have school Friday, and wife's exhusband can't take their daughter to school Friday morning because he works an hour away and has to be there at 4:30 a.m.

I know if he could, he'd be willing, but really? Why should HE have to change things up because of MY ex-wife?

 

[wileybunch]

You need to write to your ex and state:
You can pick the children up at our home. There is no issue with that. Bring the sheriff if you feel you must however the children will be waiting and ready to go. They look forward to seeing you. I have no issue with you coming to pick up OUR children. My wife is sorry that she cannot meet you. She is not a party to our parenting and was trying to be considerate and help you out. Since you seem to want to make her a party to OUR parenting with your threats of contempt, I will no longer allow you to communicate with her. You can now communicate with me about everything. She may from time to time do transportation if I need her to however you will be expected to pick up the children at the house this weekend.

Sincerely,
2M

I agree with this. Knowing how much 2M with his agreement and his wife with her offers and following through of driving the kids have been accommodating, I don't really feel a need to question if 2M has danced on the head of a pin finely enough. And, it does look like they already considered other options.

2M, I know you still hold hostility toward Mom for the things she's done to the kids and may want to unload on her beyond the instant circumstance, but OG's suggested email is direct and to the point. I thought about maybe softening it, but the only want to often it is to remove that she can no longer communicate with your wife, but that's not the right thing to remove, either. She has boundary issues and had no right going off on your wife like that. Your wife already has anxiety issues and doesn't need this crap when she's only involved to do others favors so I co-sign OG's email 100%.

 

[2Mistakes]

I agree with this. Knowing how much 2M with his agreement and his wife with her offers and following through of driving the kids have been accommodating, I don't really feel a need to question if 2M has danced on the head of a pin finely enough. And, it does look like they already considered other options.

2M, I know you still hold hostility toward Mom for the things she's done to the kids and may want to unload on her beyond the instant circumstance, but OG's suggested email is direct and to the point. I thought about maybe softening it, but the only want to often it is to remove that she can no longer communicate with your wife, but that's not the right thing to remove, either. She has boundary issues and had no right going off on your wife like that. Your wife already has anxiety issues and doesn't need this crap when she's only involved to do others favors so I co-sign OG's email 100%.

Thanks Wiley. The only reason my wife has been involved is because she was trying to extend an olive branch and help the ex.

What really cracks me up is that the ex used to email my wife all the time about stuff that needed to be discussed between the ex and I. The ex was trying to cut me out of the co-parenting and co-parent with my wife! My wife had to tell her at least 10 times that the ex needed to discuss those things with me and that she didn't feel comfortable being in the middle of co-parenting issues.

I have sent OG's email, so we shall see what happens. I changed it just a little to include that my wife is willing to meet the ex in Mobile for pick-up as long as she is able to, but that ex will need to make those arrangements with me.

 

[Zephyr]

The kids have school Friday, and wife's exhusband can't take their daughter to school Friday morning because he works an hour away and has to be there at 4:30 a.m.

I know if he could, he'd be willing, but really? Why should HE have to change things up because of MY ex-wife?

or would dad be willing to pick your step daughter up after your wife returned from mobile.

and mom is two hours away and wife has to meet her at the half way point, dad is an hour away (what direction???) is it possible for your wife to drop all the kids off on that particular evening?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Can you meet on Saturday morning in Mobile?

How many days early are you letting the X take the children? Emphasize that.

PS - the court order will make X look silly when she is demanding that she get the kids on Friday.

 

[2Mistakes]

or would dad be willing to pick your step daughter up after your wife returned from mobile.

and mom is two hours away and wife has to meet her at the half way point, dad is an hour away (what direction???) is it possible for your wife to drop all the kids off on that particular evening?

Normally, my step-daughter's dad would absolutely wait and pick her up later, or even the next day to help us out. He's done it before.

But they are leaving for a trip. He's leaving work, coming straight here to pick her up, and leaving from here to go out of town.

He works an hour away in the opposite direction. He works in LA, just outside New Orleans. We live in MS, and Mobile is an hour to the east.

 

[2Mistakes]

Can you meet on Saturday morning in Mobile?

How many days early are you letting the X take the children? Emphasize that.

PS - the court order will make X look silly when she is demanding that she get the kids on Friday.

This week my days off are Thursday and Sunday, so I wouldn't be able to on Saturday. My wife has some plans for Saturday, but said that can she can rearrange them to meet my ex in Mobile.

However, at this point I think the best thing to do is remove my wife completely. She tried to do a good thing by meeting the ex, and now she's catching hell because she can't ONE time.

As Wiley stated, my wife does have anxiety issues and she just doesn't need this stress right now.

 

[Isis1]

This week my days off are Thursday and Sunday, so I wouldn't be able to on Saturday. My wife has some plans for Saturday, but said that can she can rearrange them to meet my ex in Mobile.

However, at this point I think the best thing to do is remove my wife completely. She tried to do a good thing by meeting the ex, and now she's catching hell because she can't ONE time.

As Wiley stated, my wife does have anxiety issues and she just doesn't need this stress right now.

is that papparazzi still following her around?


i say let mom call the police and show up to pick up. record you gave the child. no contempt. mom can bite dust.

 

[wileybunch]

Since we're seeing how much everyone can accommodate Mom, why not just make DW's ex take the kids to ex DW.

 

[nextwife]

Might wives ex be able to pick up her daughter from your Mom's place instead of yours? Howe close together are your households??

 

[2Mistakes]

Since we're seeing how much everyone can accommodate Mom, why not just make DW's ex take the kids to ex DW.

Yanno, he's a great guy. I have no doubt that if they weren't leaving to go out of town (camping and canoeing trip) he would take my kids to Mobile to meet their mom.

As far as wife's ex-husband picking their daughter at my mom's house (wow, is this getting convoluted or what?!?!) normally that wouldn't be a problem.

But, he and my wife have to go over kiddo's new meds and treatment plan together. Plus it would put him going about 80 miles out of his way. He'd have to pass our house and go another 40 miles to my mom's, then come back 40 miles to get on the highway they are taking for their trip. The highway is less than a mile from my house.

 

[wileybunch]

Yanno, he's a great guy. I have no doubt that if they weren't leaving to go out of town (camping and canoeing trip) he would take my kids to Mobile to meet their mom.

As far as wife's ex-husband picking their daughter at my mom's house (wow, is this getting convoluted or what?!?!) normally that wouldn't be a problem.

But, he and my wife have to go over kiddo's new meds and treatment plan together. Plus it would put him going about 80 miles out of his way. He'd have to pass our house and go another 40 miles to my mom's, then come back 40 miles to get on the highway they are taking for their trip. The highway is less than a mile from my house.

I dunno, these are all great ideas so Mom doesn't have to drive to pick up her own kids.

 

[2Mistakes]

I dunno, these are all great ideas so Mom doesn't have to drive to pick up her own kids.

They are, aren't they? I mean God fobid mom actually has to come pick the kids up.

I understand that my wife had to cancel the meet, but life happens. Their agreement was that if my wife ever couldn't meet, the ex would have to come get them.

Ex was fine with that. Until the 1st time my wife can't make it and the ex actually has to make an effort where the kids are concerned.

 

[Zephyr]

I dunno, these are all great ideas so Mom doesn't have to drive to pick up her own kids.

I think everyone was thinking of how not to allow 2M's situation to escalate...and you can say that wife has anxiety etc so shouldn't do whatever but I'm sure that won't be helped by the police showing up at the door while dick tracy is clicking away on the camera....


I don't think anyone wants to let mom off the hook so much as help 2M get through this as peacefully as possible

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Then send MOM that lovely verbage that OG put out for you. Put in there the time that mom has to be there (no later than xx:xx)

Mom's just mad - let it go.

Have your wife's email account just filter into a "turtlemom" folder so that she doesn't have to deal with venom.

Have someone at the house to keep your wife company (and be a witness.)