Update:

[justalayman]

In CA????? Really? I call bull on this. Im surprised no one else caught this.

I was going to but I thought it would be argumentative. In fact I looked up journey electrician rates for California. There is one local in Cal that pays journeyman electrician $53/hour and a couple around 42-45/hr so it is not impossible for a tradesman to take home over $1k but since the kid it only 19, he can't be anymore than a 2nd year apprentice and a 2nd year apprentice is usually around 50% of journeyman rate.

non-union shops typically pay less

electricians are generally near the top scale. sometimes top, sometimes not.

 

[malissak]

Yep thats right, its called industrial construction...y'know, welders, ironworkers, etc that make around 25/hr. Plus 80/day per diem. Fortunately his dad taught him all he knows about the work...hes a rig welder that makes even more. But whatever, I knew there'd be someone obnoxious enough to not believe that either....educate yourself in the field please before you spout. Cali is actually the highest paying state in this field, well except for Alaska. Thus the reason for him wantin to have her & the baby here w/him...he can provide quite nicely for them.
Yes "justalayman" I am from the same county...I believe I already said I knew her parents as teens...geez.
Thanks so much Cody II...there really are people out there that arent "holier than thou"!!!
Charlotte, he doesnt need his mommy to take care of him as you say...obviously he supports himself financially. As for emotional support...yeah I believe thats a moms forever job & will continue to do so.

 

[CdwJava]

That high pay does not make out too well in many parts of the state. To put it in perspective, if you make even $80,000 in the Bay Area, you cannot qualify for a home loan. In fact there were stories of computer engineers who were essentially homeless there.

In the valley and the more rural parts of the state, incomes drop precipitously. Salaries in my neck of thew woods are far less than they are in the Bay Area, but the cost of living is less. So, $50,000 does not always go that far here. $25,000 may go a lot further in Idaho than $50,000 here. The reason some wages are so high is that the cost of living is high. I took a paycut of nearly 50% (when you combine my salary with my wife's) to move from so. Cal.to the rural north state, and I now take home MORE each month than I did when I was down there. So, keep in mind that the aggregate dollar amount is not the tell-all sign of financial success and fiscal solvency.

 

[stealth2]

& to the one whose kids dont have sex & NONE of their friends do?? Ok, whatever you say....remember that ORAL sex is very popular right now & the kids dont even consider it sex...I know alot of parents just like you...not my kid, right?!

See, here's the interesting thing... Some of us actually talk to our kids about intimacy, emotional vs. physical connections, consequences and their effects on the future, etc. And have done since long before they became teens with raging hormones. There is actually nothing that they are unwilling to come to me about, even when they've said it was kind of awkward - they know they'll get no judgment from me. Just straight talk, valid information, and support.

The circle of friends I'm talking about is actually quite small - less than 10 kids between the two of them (and daughter's young man is one of them).

Not that I have anything to defend. My adult son hasn't impregnated anyone.

 

[malissak]

CdwJava, you are right in some respects...cost of living is higher here for sure. Things like gas & groceries & taxes are crazy. I own a home in Idaho & bought it for super cheap compared to here, but after living my whole life there I can tell you there arent alot of good jobs. I have found that rent isnt too much higher tho...my son can rent an apartment for just a couple hundred more. My hubby & son have worked various places in this state all for the same pay...the only difference is in your per diem which is determined by what county you're in but still varies from 50-80/day. So truthfully, we definately have more money after bills then we did back home. But the bottome line is the experience & training my son gets in this field...he now wants to train to be a crane operator which would be a really good job for him someday. Obviously thats better than a min. wage job in Idaho...but also, things have really gone up in our little state because of out-of-staters retiring there,too!! Believe me tho, we'd still be there if the work was there.

 

[malissak]

P.S. We both had to work in Idaho...in hardworking lumber mills no less. My hubby makes more here than BOTH of us combined up there so I only do a fun part time job now for something to do. But more than that, he loves what he does, but we both hated our jobs up there....so thats important too.

 

[justalayman]

Yes "justalayman" I am from the same county...I believe I already said I knew her parents as teens...geez.

geez, I must have overlooked that in all your rambling. Oh well.

Charlotte, he doesnt need his mommy to take care of him as you say...obviously he supports himself financially. As for emotional support...yeah I believe thats a moms forever job & will continue to do so.

apparently he needs his mommy to fight his battles for him though. As you have been told so many times; you have no standing to do anything in this situation, None, nada, zip.

actually, go ahead and continue to lure the girl to California. The more you make an effort, the more chance there is of YOU being charged with a crime when she does come and stay at your house.

Oh, and him being self supporting? Staying at your house is not self supporting.

 

[malissak]

ya just dont give up do ya?? You keep spouting false info that I have to clarify...he doesnt live w/me, he's workin in a different county right now & has a co-worker roommate...satisfied?? How am I fighting his battles by researching juvenile law & discussing w/attorney what the GIRLS rights are? Its not a battle anway...Im meeting w/her parents to discuss all our options as grandparents in the situation & what is best for all involved (by the way, my sons already had a sit-down w/em) Im not "luring" anyone as you say...shes wanted to leave her parents for yrs as Ive said, its not a good home. If she legally can & her parents agree, my door is open for her, or my sons, whichever the case may be. You act like Im conspiring to kidnap or something....Good god, Im done with you...Ive had enough accusations of rape, sexual predators, kidnapping, bad mothering, etc on here to show me how truly mean some people are...all because a couple teens made a mistake which happens everyday in this world. I suppose you would just ditch your kid & not try to help emotionally & legally all you could?? Dont have to answer...thats obvious. Have a nice life...Closed subject.
By the way, my so-called rambling was to explain the situation because I kept gettin comments like he dont support himself, how'd he get a girl in Idaho pregnant, blah blah blah. This site really needs to not tout itself as legal advice...more like mostly judgemental, hypocritical people that probly know nothing about law...& I suppose they call themselves "Christians" too. Let the mud slinging begin again...say all you want to be rude, I wont be responding. Have fun

 

[justalayman]

.he doesnt live w/me, he's workin in a different county right now & has a co-worker roommate...satisfied?

No, especially when you said this previously:

Just because Im offering for her to live w/me isnt saying they share a room...never have, never will in my house til marriage.

HHmm, why would there be any question of them sharing a room if she was in your home and he lived elsewhere?

Its not a battle anway...Im meeting w/her parents to discuss all our options as grandparents in the situation & what is best for all involved (by the way, my sons already had a sit-down w/em) Im not "luring" anyone as you say...shes wanted to leave her parents for yrs as Ive said, its not a good home. If she legally can & her parents agree, my door is open for her, or my sons, whichever the case may be.

yep, really sounds like her parents are all for this:

, her parents arent letting her leave home.

wow lady, make up your mind and just leave the girl be until she is 18. Then she can leave home and do anything she wants.

and to you not fighting his battles, another quote of yours:

. Too bad cuz he can provide so much better for her here, but we'll do what we have to

 

[malissak]

whatever...we see him on some weekends & ya he comes to visit & stays the night(hmmm, I think lots of 19 yr olds do that) they have BOTH been to my house to visit for a week @ a time (with parental permission) & not share a room...I didnt realize I had to be soooo specific for ya. & ya sometimes he has a few days off between jobs but usually goes to her parents house then. yep they told him they didnt want her to move yet, but Im quite confident that'll change...they wont want the financial responsibility for sure. I say "WE" because we are a family & always will be....anything else ya need clarified? cuz its beyond ridiculous

 

[justalayman]

I thought you were done. Your continued response simply provides more proof you are not being truthful in your statements:

a quote of one or your previous posts:

.say all you want to be rude, I wont be responding.

 

[justalayman]

.they wont want the financial responsibility for sure. I say "WE" because we are a family & always will be...

what financial responsibility? They have none due to the child. The girl and your son are liable for the financial costs of the child.

In fact, her parents might even be able to sue your son for costs incurred for his child.

 

[malissak]

I said I wouldnt be responding if you just wanted to be rude...you asked questions, I answered. It really doesnt matter if you believe me or not. My son provides for her already more than her own parents due & yes he'll continue to for her & child regardless of where she is, so they wont have to sue as you say. Any more scare tactics? Cuz they arent working. My point was they havent really wanted the responsibility of their kids anyway. You wanna make me & my son the bad guys, but you obviously dont know what her home life is like, so whatever. She's had more love & family by being around us than she has her whole life & everyone in that town knows it. If her mother decides to not let her leave, theres an ulterior motive behind it, thats for sure...probably financial aid. I could give you tons of examples of this w/this woman but why bother? Youve already made your judgements...you think Im a liar & a bad mom & you couldnt be further from the truth

 

[justalayman]

. Any more scare tactics? Cuz they arent working.

scare tactics? I said nothing meant as a scare tactic. I was correcting your point about the parents of the girl having to support the child (they have no duty to support the grandchild) and simply pointed out that if they do provide support, they may be able to seek child support payments from your son.

no scare tactics there, simple facts.

You wanna make me & my son the bad guys, but you obviously dont know what her home life is like, so whatever. She's had more love & family by being around us than she has her whole life & everyone in that town knows it. If her mother decides to not let her leave, theres an ulterior motive behind it, thats for sure...probably financial aid. I could give you tons of examples of this w/this woman but why bother? Youve already made your judgements...you think Im a liar & a bad mom & you couldnt be further from the truth

you have to realize there are at least 2 sides to the story. We only have your perspective. You made accusations. The other party is not here to defend themselves. As a parent, I know how a child can be so convincing they are living in Hell while their life is actually closer to Disneyland.

Bottom line: if the relationship is abusive, call CPS and let them deal with it. As it stands, you are simply an interloper with absolutely no legal standing to do anything about anything.

 

[cyjeff]

I recommend you google the "Mann Act" before you encourage your son to take his lover across state lines.