Visitation questions

[onegooddad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Specifically, this is in regard to taking my child back to the mother a couple of hours late on a Monday.

Facts: Court order states to have child back to school or no later than 9:30am.

I live in Texas. Ex lives in California.

I have been diligent to visit my child. Flying to CA and back to TX on Fridays, and doing the reverse on Mondays. Three round trip tickets.

We typically take an 8am flight on Mondays getting in at 9am. However, my child rarely gets to school by noon after being picked up by mom.

I could care less about myself, but I hate waking my child up at 6am to get to the airport. Mother has claimed that it's not right for child to wake up that early.

So, I checked with my child's teacher and verified it's ok to bring my child to school later.

Ex goes ballistic after I purchased my next round of tickets.

Also, child has early out days all week and is off on Wednesday of said week.

All I'm asking for is to bring my child back about two hours later than normal. Is that asking too much?

Mind you, my ex is financially well off (thanks to me)... I pay my child support religiously and spend approximately $40,000 per year to visit my child, pay for child support and child care. My daughter comes to me with the clothes on her back as I have a full closet of clothes for her.

Ex even wants to limit my time with child during summer break.

All I want to do is see my child on a regular basis, consider my child's activity schedule and also take into account my child's well being, sleep, etc.

Question is, what legal problems may I face with my ex?

We had gone through a 4 year long divorce, spent nearly a half million dollars on attorneys. She is very bitter. She accused me of domestic violence (charges dropped), she accused me of abusing my child (no files opened).

I'd appreciate any comments. Thanks.

Onegooddad

 

[Zigner]

It's a court order, not a court suggestion.

However, I doubt 1 incident would rise to the level of contempt...

 

[Nevergrowup]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Specifically, this is in regard to taking my child back to the mother a couple of hours late on a Monday.

Facts: Court order states to have child back to school or no later than 9:30am.

I live in Texas. Ex lives in California.

I have been diligent to visit my child. Flying to CA and back to TX on Fridays, and doing the reverse on Mondays. Three round trip tickets.

We typically take an 8am flight on Mondays getting in at 9am. However, my child rarely gets to school by noon after being picked up by mom.

I could care less about myself, but I hate waking my child up at 6am to get to the airport. Mother has claimed that it's not right for child to wake up that early.

So, I checked with my child's teacher and verified it's ok to bring my child to school later.

Ex goes ballistic after I purchased my next round of tickets.

Also, child has early out days all week and is off on Wednesday of said week.

All I'm asking for is to bring my child back about two hours later than normal. Is that asking too much?

Mind you, my ex is financially well off (thanks to me)... I pay my child support religiously and spend approximately $40,000 per year to visit my child, pay for child support and child care. My daughter comes to me with the clothes on her back as I have a full closet of clothes for her.

Ex even wants to limit my time with child during summer break.

All I want to do is see my child on a regular basis, consider my child's activity schedule and also take into account my child's well being, sleep, etc.

Question is, what legal problems may I face with my ex?

We had gone through a 4 year long divorce, spent nearly a half million dollars on attorneys. She is very bitter. She accused me of domestic violence (charges dropped), she accused me of abusing my child (no files opened).

I'd appreciate any comments. Thanks.

Onegooddad

How often are you talking about the child missing school? How old is your child? Who is "we" in this, when you mention three round trip tickets (really, if you are bringing a "friend", then two are the only ones that matter in this argument, part of that large amount spend on flights isn't necessary). You mention Wednesdays, do you get Wednedays?

 

[divona2000]

...Facts: Court order states to have child back to school or no later than 9:30am.
I live in Texas. Ex lives in California.
I have been diligent to visit my child. Flying to CA and back to TX on Fridays, and doing the reverse on Mondays. Three round trip tickets.
We typically take an 8am flight on Mondays getting in at 9am...

What exactly do the court orders state, word for word, concerning this? (leaving out identifying names).

Back to school or ... what? back to mom? to CA?... no later than 9:30 AM.

 

[onegooddad]

Thanks to those who responded. Allow me to further clarify and answer some questions.

The order states that I have visitation from between school dismissal on Friday until return to school or 9:30am on Monday. I might also add, I have two weekends per month and potentially three. I have preference in even months (Feb, April, June, etc.), ex in odd months.

The "we" is my child and me. That means for visitation I purchase THREE round trip tickets two for me and one for my child. To 1) pick up my child; 2) fly back to Texas together; 3) drop off my child together and 4) fly back to my home state by myself.

My child is 8 years old, in the second grade. Excellent student. Teacher is on board with this. It's not like my child is not going to Harvard because of missing a couple of hours of school. Even on the days that I return her at 9am, my ex or the nanny rarely gets my child to school until noon.

My ex complains about our child getting up at 4am Pacific time to return, then complains when I would let my child sleep in and get to school about the same time the mother or nanny gets the child to school.

The Wednesday in question is a date that school is out. I don't get Wednesdays per se. However, living 1200 miles away, I believe that should be taken in consideration.

I recognize I might not get a lot of sympathy in this forum, but just am curious of others' thoughts on this matter.

Bottom line... what is in the best interest of the child?

 

[Nevergrowup]

Okay, one more question. Have you thought about the child flying alone? Mine was by 7...uncomfortable at first but she loved it.

I would think, and I'm not a judge, that it wouldn't be that big of a deal, especially since you apparently have been so consistent with visits. If the child is a great student and it doesn't affect grades or cause truancy issues, then why should it be a big deal...

It will eventually though. Your child will not be able to miss that much as the child gets older...so that is also something to think about.

 

[divona2000]

...The order states that I have visitation from between school dismissal on Friday until return to school or 9:30am on Monday...

OP, for this part, is it possible for you and child to fly back on Sunday night, stay in CA for the night, enjoy that time with your child, and get her to mom/school before 9:30 AM, thus avoiding that early Monday rise and fly?

 

[mistoffolees]

OP, for this part, is it possible for you and child to fly back on Sunday night, stay in CA for the night, enjoy that time with your child, and get her to mom/school before 9:30 AM, thus avoiding that early Monday rise and fly?

Possible, but I think they're going about it all wrong. They're using a normal visitation schedule designed for people who live close together and using it for a long distance visitation situation. Everyone would probably be better off if they agree on a new long distance visitation schedule and submit it to the court.

Missing every other Monday morning is going to be a major problem when the child is older.

 

[LdiJ]

Possible, but I think they're going about it all wrong. They're using a normal visitation schedule designed for people who live close together and using it for a long distance visitation situation. Everyone would probably be better off if they agree on a new long distance visitation schedule and submit it to the court.

Missing every other Monday morning is going to be a major problem when the child is older.

I agree. While it might not be an issue now for the child to be late to school three or four times a month, its definitely going to become an issue as the child gets older.

I see no problem with dad maintaining an every other weekend schedule if he has the financial means to fly the child back and forth on weekends, I do see it potentially becoming an issue if the child is not getting to school on time.

I think that dad either needs to switch to a more traditional long distance visitation schedule, or needs to plan to get the child back on Sunday evenings.

 

[divona2000]

...Missing every other Monday morning is going to be a major problem when the child is older.

Why would the child be missing every other Monday morning-ah, you mean late to school? Mom is apparently the one who is not getting child to school on time. Mom needs to move faster.

 

[mistoffolees]

Why would the child be missing every other Monday morning-ah, you mean late to school? Mom is apparently the one who is not getting child to school on time. Mom needs to move faster.

You can't pin it on Mom. The flight arrives at 9 am. Even if Mom could teleport the child from the airport to the classroom, the child will be late. Add in flight delays, driving time, and other factors, and the child will be late 2-3 Mondays per month NO MATTER WHAT MOM DOES.

 

[stealth2]

I can see how a young child might be pretty tired by arrival in CA and/or home and in need of a nap prior to going to school. Additionally, although "only" a weekend, it's also likely that kiddo wants to spend a bit of time with Mom after being away - I know my two did/would.

Honestly, this is a pretty strange visitation order if Dad was already living at a distance, so I suspect that misto (I think it was) is correct - it's a local visitation plan that wasn't changed when someone (Dad?) moved. If that is the case, OP... you really should be looking at some other type of arrangement which has the kiddo back home Sunday evening, with perhaps you getting long weekends and or some extra time during the summer to make up for the lost time of switching from a Monday morning to Sunday evening return. If you chose to move that distance from your child, you will have to accept the consequence of a time redistribution. It's asking a lot to expect a young child (or really, ANY child) to start his week off with a 3-hour flight.

ETA - and this is just out of curiosity... What kind of work do you do that you can afford 3 R/T tickets a few times a month AND can effectively take much of Friday and Monday off that often, too? 'Cause I want that job. Thanks.

 

[divona2000]

....Even on the days that I return her at 9am, my ex or the nanny rarely gets my child to school until noon...

You can't pin it on Mom. The flight arrives at 9 am. Even if Mom could teleport the child from the airport to the classroom, the child will be late. Add in flight delays, driving time, and other factors, and the child will be late 2-3 Mondays per month NO MATTER WHAT MOM DOES.

...you and child to fly back on Sunday night, stay in CA for the night, enjoy that time with your child, and get her to mom/school before 9:30 AM, thus avoiding that early Monday rise and fly?

Bringing child back Sunday night would solve the problem, wouldn't it? Dad could taxi child to school, or have mom pick her up in time to get her to school.
Of course, if this was such a problem for mom, why hasn't she filed for new orders?

 

[stealth2]

Of course, if this was such a problem for mom, why hasn't she filed for new orders?

Maybe because this seems to be the first time Dad has unilaterally decided to put the kid on a later flight? The order says 9:30am. Not 10:30, 11:30, etc. 9:30.

 

[divona2000]

...this is in regard to taking my child back to the mother a couple of hours late on a Monday..We typically take an 8am flight on Mondays getting in at 9am...

...It's asking a lot to expect a young child (or really, ANY child) to start his week off with a 3-hour flight...

Maybe because this seems to be the first time Dad has unilaterally decided to put the kid on a later flight? The order says 9:30am. Not 10:30, 11:30, etc. 9:30.

Yes, dad is taking the complicated and wrong way to try and solve the problem of mom being unhappy with an early flight. Spite and lack of communication...