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Want the money I paid back.

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Griffzan

Member
What is the name of your state? Mi

Before I ask my question I would like to give a little history of my case (or ours now). In 1998 I met my now wife Jessica (not sure if I should use real name but even if it was there are alot of Jessica's) anyway since that time we have spent very little time apart. I moved to Tx for about three months to get a job as the economy here isn't that great. But even while I was away I was always taking care of my kids.

Shortly after we met she became pregnant with our first child, and during that time I went to Tx for work, while I was in Tx our first child was born emergency c-section.(two weeks before the scheduled c-section that I planned on being there for) And while my then girlfiend/current wife lay in her hospital bed recovering she was visited by court officers telling her that if she wanted help from the state she would have to pursue child support against me, and also told her that she could stop child support whenever she wanted. I got back and found out and contacted friend of court to see what was going on, and was told that there was no order for support. (Found out later that it hadn't been filed yet)

Fastforward two years and our twins are born, this whole time we were living together with her parents (I know it wasn't our house but money wasn't coming as fast and aas much as I'd hoped) Well I finally find a good job (not great) that will allow me to save some money and really start a family. That's what I thought, the support order that I didn't know exsisted did exsist and wasn't a small amount. After the first garnishment came out of my check I lost my mind I was making $300 a week salaried plus bonuses, of which I never got because of the fact that friend of court was now aware that they could find me (Didn't know they where looking) and sent a couple of officers to my job to haul my deadbeat butt off to jail. Well this doesn't look good for a business to hire criminals so I was let go. Didn't really much matter being that I was in jail and couldn't go to a job even if I had one. (On a side note I wasn't even scheduled to work that day, I just went to pick up my check (And I didn't have to get that either, I had direct deposit!!!!) Anyway I had some money saved up for a house, or at least an apartment that the state felt was more important that they have because if I want out of jail (and I don't know if anyone reading this has been in jail, I REALLY wanted out of jail, it's not a place I like to visit much less stay) they need a purge payment. By that time I owed roughly $35,000 and the state wanted 10% which translated to EVERY LAST DIME IN MY BANK ACCOUNT!

Well I get out of jail and go straight to friend of court (should be called Fiend of Court) not to blow it up but to make an appointment with my/our caseworker, until this time I hadn't ever heard of a "Caseworker", you might as well had said you need to see a Jabberwocky. Anyway we meet with our "Caseworker" and his partner and they say in no uncertian terms, Sign this paper, it allows us to take your money, but it's just a formality because we'll do it anyway." I say to myself "Well this just won't do." And make appointment after appointment to stop these horrible people called "The Friend of Court" from taking my money. Later realizing after not being so selfish I should have said "our" money. Finally we get an appointment and ask that the order be stopped, only to be told**************.... pause whlie I take a deep breath for the next run-on sentence...... Well you can't just stop child support you have to put that in writting and to file that form costs $20-$60 (I really can't remember which) oh! you don't have the money you say? you lost your job because your boss doesn't employ criminals? Oh well that's to bad, well you can barrow the money can't you? and by the way don't forget that the $35,000 that you owe us acrues intrest quarterly how much you ask? only 16%. mob-like? don't be silly the mob would have killed you by now we only make you wish you were dead, oh this isn't the right form, wasted money? I work for the city trust me I really know how to waste money! Oh well your here anyway, the only way for you to stop child support is to get on her grant (This really got me, the only people I knew that got grants where Professors, college kids and Indians) but to get on her grant, you need to live together, you do live together?...... Well we need proof like a bill or a lease agreement...... You live with her parents. Why? Oh, we took all the money you had saved up for a house, our bad! Well anyway you need proof and once you get that proof, you get on her grant, then you bring that proof back to us because we have no idea what they do over there, all I know is they help children and families..... what do we do you ask?..... Well anyway you have to get a house together to get on her grant, what do you mean you can't save up money for a house? We only leave you with $150 a week? You'll have to figure that out on your own.


Well here's where it gets fuzzy or black and white depending on how you view the law, from a spot in the jury or the person behind the gavel. I thought about it and it didn't take long, the only way for me to save up money to get a house for our future was to not pay child support, (being that the money was owed to the state none of it was coming back to us) and I played the back and forth game of not paying child support getting just enough money saved up to go to jail and make another purge payment about 4-5 times. It seemed like they knew when I was about to crawl out from underneath their thumb and would come get me and take all the money I saved for my family and more, most of the time I would have to have Jessica sell/pawn something I held of value to get me out of jail to be with my family. (which really hurt being that growing up I didn't have much so the things I did have I took care of and treasured, but never more than my family) Well the last time I went to jail I swallowed my pride and begged and barrowed from everyone I knew and was finally able to get together enough money for a two bedroom apt. for me Jessica and our now four kids (we did something nice with the basement and gave the kids 2 boys 2 girls their own bedrooms) and jumped through some more hoops. Finally I thought it was all over or at least the worst part, wrong.

Our case worker never filed the paperwork to stop child support, we had in our possesion and copy of the order to stop support signed by the judge, us, and our caseworker with the state seal stampt into it the ment nothing. So our order kept on charging for another six months until guess what?! I got to take another trip to jail stay there for three days because they keep you till the very last minute, then throw you in front of a judge with next to no sleep and a mouth full of yuck, smelling and feeling like something that just got scraped off the side of a shoe and pretty much ready to say anything to get out of the place your in and into a hot shower and a warm bed. For years I watched my hopes of being a "Happy family" fly out of my wallet and bank account and I know that money isn't everything but when it means the difference between seeing the smile on your sons face because you got exactly what he wanted for his birthday or the look of disappointment from getting the best thing you could find at the dollar store it matters alot, or making a two bedroom apt. with a basement "work" because you owe so much money to so many people it makes your stomach hurt because you have to choke back your tears, money doesn't matter to people who have it or don't have to fight for it.

I thank you for reading this because as well as leading to my question it allows me to get some stress of my chest. And even though I make light of the situation I'm in it's more than likely a defense response to stop mysself from getting choked up.

Times aren't as bad as they once were so don't pity me, as I said in the beginning of this story me and Jessica are now married and I have to say money is still an issue. We were told by our 4-5 different caseworker that once we were married my debt would zero out (this had nothig to do with us getting married as we were told only after telling our caseworker) Well come to find out only the confinment/consignment? (birthing) cost was zeroed, Word for word we were told "Once you're married your account will zero out and all you debt will be forgiven." If only I had taped it, which eventhough I don't think will be admissible in court I tape all meetings with our caseworker now. (Different caseworker)

I now owe roughly $18,000, money that I don't have and with the intrest rate what they charge will never be able to pay off, and in all honesty think that any money that I've paid into should get back tenfold plus pain and suffering. Not only are they still taking my money, their taking our joint tax return. Now for my question**************.

Is there anyway I can get this money back and if not can I stop them from taking anymore?
 
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jbowman

Senior Member
Please edit this down- it is WAY too much info. I think the bottom line is that your childrens mother got help from the state and now you have to pay it back? I may be wrong because I stopped reading at "jabberwocky". All that stuff is irrelevant.
 

tranquility

Senior Member
In three sentences or less, why do you think you deserve to get some money back?

In one sentence, what is the reason you are paying money now?

In three sentences or less, why do you think you should not have to pay any more?
 

seniorjudge

Senior Member
In three sentences or less, why do you think you deserve to get some money back?

In one sentence, what is the reason you are paying money now?

In three sentences or less, why do you think you should not have to pay any more?
Last edited by Griffzan : Today at 05:09 PM.

Makes you wonder what it looked like before it was edited!
 

jbowman

Senior Member
Ok, I scanned a little more.

Well this doesn't look good for a business to hire criminals so I was let go.
HUH?

I just went to pick up my check (And I didn't have to get that either, I had direct deposit!!!!)
And again I say HUH? If it was direct deposit, there would be no physical check to pick up.

OK, I am a tool, I just realized he was "let go" as in FIRED, not "let go" as released from jail. My bad. Im sorry!
 
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Griffzan

Member
Granted I added a little comic relief, to relieve a little of my own stress, but to cut it down at all I feel would leave it open for comments like "You owe the money to the state there's no way out of it." If you've read it all then you've gotten inerested and may actually think outside of what you've read in textbooks, just going by the letter of the law. I need someone to think in the intrest of a family not just quote scripture. If I wanted the letter of the law I'd read a book, I need the help of someone that can think. Sorry if I sound rude but if your not interested in helping don't reply, I'm not editing my thread I poured quite a bit of how I felt and the back and forth between us and the courts in this thread and know when someone feels like there I'm wasting their time and tries to give me a quick answer and shuffle me out the door, if your one of these people don't waste MY time with "Edit you thread down." If your attention span is that short you have no business offering help to anyone god help those who pay you for your services.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
I'm confused. If you were paying the child support, isn't your wife receiving the money? Or were they on TANF while they were living with you?
 

Griffzan

Member
I really hope you read all of it but even if you didn't, here's your answers.


In three sentences or less, why do you think you deserve to get some money back? (Quick and dirty answer) The order should have never been put in affect.

In one sentence, what is the reason you are paying money now? Arrears

In three sentences or less, why do you think you should not have to pay any more? See answer to 1
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Granted I added a little comic relief, to relieve a little of my own stress, but to cut it down at all I feel would leave it open for comments like "You owe the money to the state there's no way out of it." If you've read it all then you've gotten inerested and may actually think outside of what you've read in textbooks, just going by the letter of the law. I need someone to think in the intrest of a family not just quote scripture. If I wanted the letter of the law I'd read a book, I need the help of someone that can think. Sorry if I sound rude but if your not interested in helping don't reply, I'm not editing my thread I poured quite a bit of how I felt and the back and forth between us and the courts in this thread and know when someone feels like there I'm wasting their time and tries to give me a quick answer and shuffle me out the door, if your one of these people don't waste MY time with "Edit you thread down." If your attention span is that short you have no business offering help to anyone god help those who pay you for your services.
My dear sir,
We are ALL VOLUNTEERS here.
No one pays us.
We believe in the law.
We don't believe in skirting the law.
Good day to you.
 

Griffzan

Member
I'm confused. If you were paying the child support, isn't your wife receiving the money? Or were they on TANF while they were living with you?
No my wife/ then girlfriend wasn't recieving any money, in one sense what the friend of court said was true, she could stop what was owed to her and only her. All the money paid was owed to the state. I apologize I don't know what TNAF means, which most likely means the answer to your question is no, but I could be wrong. Please explain what TNAF is and I'll answer as best I can
 

Zephyr

Senior Member
Griff, I don't think you can get your money back...not this long after, you made a series of very bad decisions....the biggest one could have avoided all of this which would have been to marry your now wife, when she got pregnant..or during any of the subsequent pregnancies. She was on state aid for a loooong time, that is what is being paid back now

TANF is cash assistance for poor families
 

Griffzan

Member
My dear sir,
We are ALL VOLUNTEERS here.
No one pays us.
We believe in the law.
We don't believe in skirting the law.
Good day to you.
I believe in the law as well and in no way asked you or anyone to "skirt" the law. What you read is that I asked someone, anyone, "Think outside what you've read in textbooks" if you read that and assumed I meant circumventing the law then you my friend must adjust your moral compass.
 

Griffzan

Member
Griff, I don't think you can get your money back...not this long after, you made a series of very bad decisions....the biggest one could have avoided all of this which would have been to marry your now wife, when she got pregnant..or during any of the subsequent pregnancies. She was on state aid for a loooong time, that is what is being paid back now

TANF is cash assistance for poor families
In answer to the TNAF, no she never recieved "cash" assistance" only food assistance. In my defense to marring her we did intend to get married after out son was born, but plans went slightly askew as I didn't intend on making a life for us in Mi, that's the whole reason I was working in Tx, she just wasn't as ready to leave as I was. As far as state aid, nothings changed the money she recieved then is the same amount now, me being on her grant, married or not didn't matter one bit we needed the help regardless.
 

jbowman

Senior Member
Ok, well, was your wife--then girlfriend on welfare? or any type of aid from the state? If so, you as the father HAVE to pay it back to the state. No ifs and or buts about it. And yeah, they add interest, unfortunately.
 
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