What Can I Do?!?!?!?!!?

[CORRINA6209]

Who will do nothing about this situation.

Well, what would you do if someone literally stole the clothes off of your childrens back? Nothing? What would you do if someone stole from you? I thought there were laws against stealing.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Well, what would you do if someone literally stole the clothes off of your childrens back? Nothing? What would you do if someone stole from you? I thought there were laws against stealing.

I would follow the advice of this forum an pull her head out of her butt. This is nothing more than pride and control...NOT a legal issue.

 

[stealth2]

Well, what would you do if someone literally stole the clothes off of your childrens back? Nothing? What would you do if someone stole from you? I thought there were laws against stealing.

Okay, sweetie - YOU go call the cops. Then come back and tell us what they say. Okay? Do you seriously think that the police have nothing better to do than retrieve some kids clothes from their grandmother?

 

[casa]

This topic comes up a lot on the forum~ I admit it's frustrating. I have gone through it myself.

First my X didn't return any clothes, I'd get 1 out of 3 outfits back or parts of outfits. So I sent her in playclothes or extra thrift outfits. Then the nuttyX complained I didn't send her with nice enough outfits. So I actually bought her a nice outfit, play outfit, pajamas, bathing suit (one of everything) for him to keep at his house- THEN he said she was growing out of them and we went through the whole ordeal again. I kept the receipts of what I had bought and had family members with me on enough occasions picking her up that saw I was being returned nothing time and again.

Luckily my X was such a pain in the rear, that at the next hearing- he complained and I answered and he rotated his complaints until the judge saw how petty he was being and ordered him to keep his own set of clothes at his house. Then he had the objection that he pays child support (barely ) and since I had the receipts etc. showing how frequently I needed to keep purchasing clothes and all the avenues I had exhausted- the judge told him to deal with it.

Now he gets her in the outfit she's wearing and he has to supply outfits for the other days and return what she came in.....So he takes them off dirty, lets them sit the whole time and returns them filthy to be passive aggressive. Some parents will use anything to irritate the other parent. But now it's a game my nuttyX plays with himself because I no longer choose to participate. I just take the outfit home and wash it with the rest of the laundry. LOL

 

[haiku]

hmm I was just organizing some stuff and I found one sweatshirt, TWO pairs of pants, seven! socks, never mind assorted parts and peices to toys and games, and various sports equipment...... (and as an aside, rarely if ever do I get around to washing ANY of thier clothes while they are here.....)

I am one evil step mommy my skids must be running around nekkid and toyless at home!

Thank gawd my husband and his ex save thier battles for the big stuff........

 

[djohnson]

I'm just curious if OP has had the kids even ask for it back, by calling grandma or dad? Next time just don't send any, they should already have enough and if they don't, let him buy more. I agree with everyone else, this is not a big enough issue to fight to the death over.

 

[KKHeuser]

Tennessee case,
My ex has taken visitation with my children for the past 2 times he was supposed to have gotten them. Anyways I have learned from being associated with this wanna be father that it is best to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! When I send the kids to his home on weekends I have to provide them clothes. I document every single piece of clothes that they take with them. The first time I even made him a copy of what they had so that once they were packing their things they could have a check list to assure they got all their clothes back. Any ways I went this Sunday to pick my children up from their visitation and they only had 3 shirts in their bag. I questioned my ex about this and he claims that his mom has the clothes because the children stayed there durring their visitation and she was not going to let me have the clothes. I called her and sure enough I got cursed out because I ask for my childrens clothes that I had bought and sent there with them. Mind you as I said before I even have documentation of EVERY stich of clothes. No pictures but trust me that did cross my mind since I know how these people can be! Is there ANYTHING that I can do to get my kids clothes back?!?!?!? I can't afford to keep buying them clothes and right now they are limited as it is. They have even kept my son's coat and its below freezing outside. I admit I did break down and buy him another since then buy should I have to do that because they want to play childish games with my kids and their things?
WHAT CAN I DO?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

I wish I could tell you that there was something you could do but, unfortunately there really isn't anything.. I'm a step mom and let me tell you sometimes the shoe is on the other foot.. My husband's ex wife ALWAYS sent the children in old ratty, stained and torn clothing regardless of the occassion. We had a family gathering one weekend and she sent the middle child in her old jeans (from 1983 remember baggies?) and her father's old undershirt. The youngest she sent in jeans that were two sizes too small and full of holes and her grandmother's old way too big shirt. The oldest was sent in pants that were so big he had to tie them up with rope and a cut up sweatshirt. Further inspection of the bag revealed more of the same and no underwear or socks but, what they already had on. We went to the thrift store and found three very nice outfits for each child for $35, Underwear and socks were purchased new at another store before we went home. My husband sent those pieces of trash back home with the children and informed his ex that she need not send the children with clothes anymore as we'd bought some for them to keep at our house. It's worked very well! Each friday night they shower and change into their "Dad" Clothes and Sunday put on what they came in (and yes I wash them over the course of the weekend) when they go home. Less stress and We don't have to worry about the children looking bummy when we have important events to attend.

 

[KKHeuser]

Well I am sorry I seem so childish to you because I care about our children having clothes! If you people would listen. I DONT HAVE AN OPTION anymore!
He now has the majority of their clothes and now I will have to make due with the few outfits that they do have which are not exactly the proper clothes for this weather. Have any of you ever tried feeding, clothing, and supplying all basic needs for 6 kids? We are a military family and sacrifices are made and for responses I have gotten today I don't know why! I am not being childish just because I think that there may be a way of getting our childrens clothes back to them! Its not a matter of I bought these clothes but a matter that they are the childrens clothes and that is who SHOULD have them. Am I wrong for thinking or expecting their clothes to be returned? Sorry but I don't see that I am the childish one here because I am not holding a 6&4yr olds clothes just to piss someone off!!

My parents have six children and we were not financially well off by all means. Most of us survived with hand me downs (Hell I still do occassionally) and thrift store clothing. You are not wrong for expecting these things returned and I understand you are angry but, really if you don't calm down you're going to give yourself a coronary and that won't help anyone. I agree with that small claims court advice.. You'll be amazed how quick the old bat will send the clothes back...

 

[SM5NY]

This is not even a big legal issue and there is not much you can do.
You can go buy thrift-garage sales clothes for dads house... (which is what I would do) Plus.. if he doesn't see the kids that often than I guess you won't be buying to many clothes anyway!
OR you can go spend a ton of money in court and drag yourself through that carp for... kids clothes.
OR you can call the cop who will not do anything but be bothered with your KID CLOTHES ordeal instead of catching the robber, murderer or rapist down the road cause GOD forbid that $6 package of underwear wasn't return.
Plus, technically it's NOT steeling when you put the clothes where they are by PACKING them... so stealing no, not reurned yes!

Steal: to come or go secretly, unobtrusively, gradually, or unexpectedly

 

[candi4687]

Thanks for the advice, I am not just angry at this one instance its just the whole ordeal itself. And No they did not "steal" our children's clothes but they just kept the ones I HAD to send because they did not have ANY at the OP home. Sorry I wasted anyones time and I know that this is not a big issue to anyone here but me but honestly it is to me. This is NOT some power trip I am on so for all of you that say or think so need to just stop reading my post anyways. I am just fed up with the OP and his family doing all they can to hurt me physically so that now they have to mentally abuse my children and use their things to get to me. I can't ask any of you to understand because everyone's situation is different. Anyways Thanks for the good advice that was given. I guess I will keep washing the same clothes over and over and have my children wear what they have. Thanks again
Sorry my daughter wants to put a face~~>>

 

[AmyKearsing]

Happened to me before, you can pay $25 for a small claims court date. File against him or the mother, doesn't matter whoever has them file against. Just b/c custody isn't done, they live w/ you more than 50% of the time you can file for the amount the clothes are worth, and if you win make him pay you the $25 back as well. Or the clothes back on the date the judge gives him/her.

Otherwise, I would send play clothes, but if they were going to school from dad's house, I wouldn't want that. What if dad only dressed them in the play junk clothes for school? Then you need to go to court about this, call you county legal aide for free advice. They will have you fill out the correct forms and get the ball rolling.

Good luck. Ho-Hum....Ex's. they are all great.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Oh crap this post is still going on. Grow up people! Fighting over something so silly. No wonder kids turn out like they do now days. Even the adults don't know how to act like adults. While yes it sucks to not get the clothes back is it worth this? Grow up and act like adults and for your kids sake dang it get along.

 

[candi4687]

Thanks I actaully have called the court house and they said it would cost me $125 to do so and once they rule on this that the OP or his mother will either have to pay for the clothes or return the other plus pay that fee. We are going to court on 25 Jan so I am going to bring it up in court so that none of us are out any money. I think most of the people here assume that I am just being spiteful but I am just a struggling mom and I dont ask for much but I do expect to keep what we do have for our children. Its hard but we do all we can for our children and sometimes I think people over look that fact and just jump to conclusions of what we are all about.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Oh brother I was a single mom raising 3 kids for a couple of years and trust me money was tight. Guess what my ex hasnt paid a penny owed child support and I dont give him all this crap. Sure it would be great if he paid. But you know what If it means causing stress in our relationship and the kids feeling it its not worth it to me. You know why because the most important thing to me is my kids having both parents who love them. Guess what else since I now live in across country and even though he doesnt pay support and there is no visitation outlines except reasonable visitation and technically if I wanted to be brat I could say if you want to see your kids come here or pay for them to see you. But you know what when my kid came to me and said I want to see my daddy I called and got us all plane tickets to go back to arizona so they could see there daddy for a week at my expense. No amount of money or clothes is worth the kids seeing this kind of childish bull crap

 

[candi4687]

Ok well GREAT for you. As I have said before... If you are not in my situation it is hard for you to see it how I do. You have never sat there and have your ex try to convince a judge to put your children in a foster home just because he thought that would get him out of paying money. You have never sat there while your ex tells your child on the phone that "Mommy does not love you or your brother and the only reason why she allows you to stay there is because she wants my money." Try sitting there explaining to your children why the law and DCS come and inspect your home atleast once a week because their dad and his family will do anything to take our kids away from me so that he can place them in states custody. (BTW, everything was UNFOUNDED) He is so stupid that he THINKS that just because they would go to foster home that he would not have to pay the support. Trust me all of you people can keep adding **** to this forum all you want. Point is our children want their clothes back and they should do so. For you to say that I don't care about our kids just makes me sick. Who are you to say this?!? I love my kids and I wish that me and their father could get along but he can't even have a conversation with me w/o yelling or hitting me. I got away from him because I loved my kids and I knew that one day they would turn against him for the way he was towards me. I DID NOT want that. I have even made excuses for him not showing up for visitations such as he is working or not feeling good but what do you tell them when it has been 8 months??? I wont tell our children the truth because I don't want them hurt or thinking that someone does not love them enough! Now this has gone beyond the clothes issue but you people just don't stop. At first all I wanted to know if others had been through this and how they handled the situation and now people are claiming that I don't love our children... WTF?!?