What should I do?

[milspecgirl]

Absolutely---and if I saw a kiddo sitting alone in acar for 10-15 minutes at a time, multiple times, I'd call CPS.I might do it even sooner depending on the age of the child. Good grief you can get in trouble in TX for leaving a dog alone in a car for an extended period of time. (Imagine what CPS would do about a kiddo). Then Mom would be in deep doo-doo and YOU could be too for having knowledge that this was going on.

What on earth is Mom thinking? Reminds me of a story I once heard while I was briefly living in MO about a woman. (And of course this is a more extreme case than this would be.) This woman liked the night life and couldn't afford a sitter. So she put the kids in their P.J.s, loaded them up in the car with pillows and blankets, and then left them alone in the car at the parking lot of her favorite watering hole.

She went into the bar and drank and danced until the bar closed. Her excuse was that the doors were locked and the kids were asleep, thus no problem. She lost her kiddos pretty fast to CPS for doing this. Another patron called immediately when they saw these poor kids in the car......

just had to add mine in here- sd was left in a trunk at 18 months while mom went and partied and when she started crawling, mom would put her in the bathtub of hotel rooms where she was partying so she wouldn't get out. She thought this was perfectly acceptable - STUPID! CPS would definitely go nuts.
IF she insists on her time, tell her that until she can find a suitable solution, you will be sticking to the court order of weekends when hopefully she doesn't have to work. If it's going to happen on the weekends too, your only option would be to go there yourself and wait for her to leave the child and then call CPS and the police or call CPS and report what you have been told is going to happen and ask them to check it out.
You cannot withhold court ordered visitation time

 

[TCool]

Well, it is a factory. It is definitely not safe for her to go into work with her mother. If they have some sort of lobby type area I could suggest her mother ask about having her wait in there. However, they don't deal directly with customers there, so I'm not so sure they do. But I'll suggest it.

IF she insists on her time, tell her that until she can find a suitable solution, you will be sticking to the court order of weekends when hopefully she doesn't have to work. If it's going to happen on the weekends too, your only option would be to go there yourself and wait for her to leave the child and then call CPS and the police or call CPS and report what you have been told is going to happen and ask them to check it out.
You cannot withhold court ordered visitation time

I was thinking about going back to weekends only, but I'm trying to avoid that because then my daughter will never see her mother.

I will check with the police to see if they can do that for me. I'm also going to contact a daycare my daughter used to go to up there to see if they can take her for a few hours the days she is with her mother.

But, don't worry, I'm not gonna withhold any visitation. I'm already concerned our daughter doesn't get to see her mother enough.

 

[CJane]

I'm also going to contact a daycare my daughter used to go to up there to see if they can take her for a few hours the days she is with her mother.

A few hours isn't even necessary. Maybe they would agree to keep her for 30 minutes or so between Mom and BF's shifts?

 

[TCool]

A few hours isn't even necessary. Maybe they would agree to keep her for 30 minutes or so between Mom and BF's shifts?

Maybe, we'll find out tomorrow.

 

[onebreath]

What comes to my mind are two possibilities....

1. Write a certified letter to mom, request receipt of letter returned; that it is illegal to leave child in the car and she has to find other accomondations, and inform you of them as well.

2. Call the local police as to times she works and ask them to be on the lookout for a child in a car (give them license plate numbers, place of work).

 

[TCool]

Well, I guess as of right now this isn't a problem anymore. She was going to have her car fixed tonight, but turns out it is too screwed up to be fixed so she is junking the car. So, she doesn't even have a car anymore to leave our daughter in. Funny how life works. Make plans of leaving your 5 year old unattended in a car and then poof the car goes bye bye.

I'm now trying to convince her to use her feet and walk our daughter to a babysitter. The city is a whole whopping 3 miles wide, pretty much everything there is within walking distance. But, thanks for the great advice everyone. I'll remember this stuff for the next time she pulls something stupid like this.

I probably posted this prematurely, but I was extremely upset and wanted some input before I ended up calling her and ripping into her about it. The talk here kinda cooled me down so the only thing I said when I finally talked to her was "Where did you get the idiotic idea of leaving her in the car?"

 

[wileybunch]

Make plans of leaving your 5 year old unattended in a car and then poof the car goes bye bye.

Love how that works!

I probably posted this prematurely, but I was extremely upset and wanted some input before I ended up calling her and ripping into her about it.

You aren't the first. Glad it worked out.

 

[Indiana Filer]

Don't assume that the employer won't be willing to make some accomodations for this...many employers will. It depends on the nature of the job. Even if its not a job where the child could sit with the parent for 10-15 minutes, an employer might have no problem with a well behaved child sitting on the couch in the reception area for 10-15 minutes.

However, if that is not your preferred option, then you might insist that mom talk with her employer about ways to safely transition the child between mom and her boyfriend/husband. Mom might not even be aware that her employer might cooperate with facilitating that.

What kind of work does mom and her boyfriend do?

I'd encourage mom to talk to her employer. When I was 4 and 5, I used to sit in my mom's supervisor's office (coloring) for about 30-45 minutes a couple times a week. Actually, Garfield would usually take me to breakroom for a snack, cause he was a super-nice guy.

My parents schedules overlapped, and Garfield (the supervisor) would let me stay there with him to help my parents out, especially since they both worked for the same facility, although in different areas.

If mom won't talk to her employer, and insists on leaving the child in the car, I'd call the police. That's just not safe, especially as the weather gets warmer. That could result in broiled child.

 

[TCool]

Well, the car thing isn't an issue anymore because her car died on her and is getting junked. As for her work, she works in a factory. I suggested that she ask to come in a half hour late each day and just work late, she said she did and they said no. And, apparently there is no where for a kid to hang out there. So, it appears her employer is not going to work with her at all, and she is non-union so she really doesn't have any options there.

 

[TCool]

Wow, some people just can't make up their mind. "My car is broke, no I'm getting it fixed, nope nevermind its getting junked, no wait it'll be fixed tomorrow." Ex is getting her car fixed now, but still no worries .

I once again have my family running around to help her out. Ex brings the turd(my daughter) to my dads where his girlfriend is going to watch the lil one for an hour and a half or so. Then my teenage sister is going to rush home from school to watch her until ex's bf picks up turd. I even planned for the loser dude not showing up. If that happens my lil sis watches turd until my dad gets home and then he watches turd until 1 am when ex gets off work.

I just spent the past hour and a half on the phone between my 2 sisters, my dad, my dads gf, my brother and the ex trying to figure out a way to work something out so she can see her daughter. That woman better never claim I'm not trying to facilitate a relationship between her and our daughter!!

But, again, thanks for the help people. You guys are great! When I'm rich and famous(prolly will never happen) I'm tracking you guys down and taking you all out to dinner!

 

[penelope10]

Wow, some people just can't make up their mind. "My car is broke, no I'm getting it fixed, nope nevermind its getting junked, no wait it'll be fixed tomorrow." Ex is getting her car fixed now, but still no worries .

I once again have my family running around to help her out. Ex brings the turd(my daughter) to my dads where his girlfriend is going to watch the lil one for an hour and a half or so. Then my teenage sister is going to rush home from school to watch her until ex's bf picks up turd. I even planned for the loser dude not showing up. If that happens my lil sis watches turd until my dad gets home and then he watches turd until 1 am when ex gets off work.

I just spent the past hour and a half on the phone between my 2 sisters, my dad, my dads gf, my brother and the ex trying to figure out a way to work something out so she can see her daughter. That woman better never claim I'm not trying to facilitate a relationship between her and our daughter!!

But, again, thanks for the help people. You guys are great! When I'm rich and famous(prolly will never happen) I'm tracking you guys down and taking you all out to dinner!

You call your daughter the turd?

Now my sister referred to me as toad (As in hit the road toad), but turd?

I guess I won't be invited to that dinner after all.....

 

[mommyof4]

You call your daughter the turd?

Now my sister referred to me as toad (As in hit the road toad), but turd?

I guess I won't be invited to that dinner after all.....

I swear I was getting ready to post the same question.

You want to know what to do? Find a new nickname for your daughter.

 

[TCool]

LOL actually I usually call her butt. Turd is usually my little neice, and when they are together you get the butt turd!

But seriously, she is 5, she is a turd! Very cute, and very sweet sometimes, but still a turd. Especially in the morning when she comes and starts jumping on me in bed.

 

[penelope10]

I swear I was getting ready to post the same question.

You want to know what to do? Find a new nickname for your daughter.

Ok. You're not invited to the party either. We'll have to start are own party. It's Friday, just a few days after Cinco de Mayo so I vote for Margaritas for all!

 

[mommyof4]

Ok. You're not invited to the party either. We'll have to start are own party. It's Friday, just a few days after Cinco de Mayo so I vote for Margaritas for all!

And as we are in TX, we know how to do Cinco de Mayo right.