Marrying my child's father who owes back child support on our child to our state.

[proud_parent]

What can we do? Is there any way this debt can be lowered or excused?

I expect CC will correct me if I'm wrong, but there may be a slim chance the debt could be lowered if the noncustodial parent is eligible for COAP:

Compromise of Arrears Program

What's ironic is that child support services supposedly exists to "help families," yet our family is being hurt!

What's ironic is that your fiancé likely would not owe arrears to the state had the two of you got married (and stayed married) before starting a family.

 

[msleigh]

I expect CC will correct me if I'm wrong, but there may be a slim chance the debt could be lowered if the noncustodial parent is eligible for COAP:

Compromise of Arrears Program

Thank you for this useful information! I believe we will qualify for this program.

 

[Antigone*]

I expect CC will correct me if I'm wrong, but there may be a slim chance the debt could be lowered if the noncustodial parent is eligible for COAP:

Compromise of Arrears Program


What's ironic is that your fiancé likely would not owe arrears to the state had the two of you got married (and stayed married) before starting a family.

They can certainly try, the worst that could happen is that the State would say no. I do know one person who has sucessfully had arrears forgiven after going through the reunification process with her children.

 

[msleigh]

As I said before, I'd be willing to bet that OP complained that it wasn't enough to raise a child when she WAS receiving it while her ex/fiancee complained that it was too much. Of course, now that OP is trying to get out of her fiancee trying to pay it back, she's claiming that it was too much. Why didn't she claim that before?

That's why there a system to decide these things.

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Is this really what you do all day? Sit on a computer and share your small-minded, bi**chy "ideas" about people you know nothing about?

I suspect you are projecting yourself onto me -- you believe I must have done these things because you know that you would have done them, had you been in my shoes. And, for that, you expose yourself as the catty, spiteful, judgmental woman that you are.

Get a life.

 

[Antigone*]

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Is this really what you do all day? Sit on a computer and share your small-minded, bi**chy "ideas" about people you know nothing about?

I suspect you are projecting yourself onto me -- you believe I must have done these things because you know that you would have done them, had you been in my shoes. And, for that, you expose yourself as the catty, spiteful, judgmental woman that you are.

Get a life.

Look, you've been given good information. Instead of sitting on your computer looking like an idiot, why don't you go prove us wrong and get the compromise for the dead beat you like to call dad.

Once you have that come back and rub our faces in it okay

 

[msleigh]

They can certainly try, the worst that could happen is that the State would say no. I do know one person who has sucessfully had arrears forgiven after going through the reunification process with her children.

Really? That sounds like my situation! I've even called us a "reunited family," in this thread, unaware that the state might even recognize such a situation.

Thank you so much for posting this! This is exactly the type of information I was seeking.

 

[Antigone*]

Really? That sounds like my situation! I've even called us a "reunited family," in this thread, unaware that the state might even recognize such a situation.

Thank you so much for this useful information! This is exactly the type of information I was seeking.

C-ya in about 3-5 months.

 

[proud_parent]

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Is this really what you do all day? Sit on a computer and share your small-minded, bi**chy "ideas" about people you know nothing about?

I suspect you are projecting yourself onto me -- you believe I must have done these things because you know that you would have done them, had you been in my shoes. And, for that, you expose yourself as the catty, spiteful, judgmental woman that you are.

Get a life.

Now who's making ASSumptions about people you know nothing about?

 

[msleigh]

C-ya in about 3-5 months.

Once again, thank you. If you don't mind sharing, what state was it that forgave arrears following a reunification?

 

[mistoffolees]

Wrong, wrong, and wrong.

Is this really what you do all day? Sit on a computer and share your small-minded, bi**chy "ideas" about people you know nothing about?

I suspect you are projecting yourself onto me -- you believe I must have done these things because you know that you would have done them, had you been in my shoes. And, for that, you expose yourself as the catty, spiteful, judgmental woman that you are.

Get a life.

ROTFLMAO. Instead of dealing with the facts, you launch into fantasy land.

As for your specific complaints, I'm not a woman, nor am I catty or spiteful, nor am I a cheap ba$tard trying to force the state to support my children. In fact, I pay considerably more than state guidelines for my daughter's support and have never once complained about it - even to my ex.

So stop your whining and listen to what you've been told repeatedly.

 

[mistoffolees]

I expect CC will correct me if I'm wrong, but there may be a slim chance the debt could be lowered if the noncustodial parent is eligible for COAP:

Compromise of Arrears Program

On paper, that looks promising. But since the bf apparently never paid anything - making his actions willful, the state is going to be a lot less likely to waive or reduce payments. He had the ability to pay, but simply refused.

 

[Antigone*]

On paper, that looks promising. But since the bf apparently never paid anything - making his actions willful, the state is going to be a lot less likely to waive or reduce payments. He had the ability to pay, but simply refused.

Here is the other caviat. The moment mom and dad split (and we know they will) guess who will owe the arrears again.

 

[Antigone*]

Once again, thank you. If you don't mind sharing, what state was it that forgave arrears following a reunification?

Like I said, get your hands off that keyboard of yours and head down to your local child support office. You've gotten all you are going to get from us.

 

[Proserpina]

Here is the other caviat. The moment mom and dad split (and we know they will) guess who will owe the arrears again.

True, but Mom won't give two flying ferret farts about it at that point.

She'll be back here asking how to get money out of a turnip because Dad is too broke to pay her current support.

 

[msleigh]

ROTFLMAO. Instead of dealing with the facts, you launch into fantasy land.

As for your specific complaints, I'm not a woman, nor am I catty or spiteful, nor am I a cheap ba$tard trying to force the state to support my children. In fact, I pay considerably more than state guidelines for my daughter's support and have never once complained about it - even to my ex.

So stop your whining and listen to what you've been told repeatedly.

What I've been told repeatedly in this thread is apparently wrong, SIR. (I'm sorry took your b*tchy, female behavior to mean that you were a female. My bad.)

Apparently, there are exceptional cases (like my own), in which CSS occasionally forgives debt. Apparently, there are also programs which compromise with parents on a reduced amount of principle to be repaid. If you reread my very first post, you will see that these two useful bits of information are exactly what I was hoping to find out from posting here.

If you have the patience to go through the previous 70-something posts, you will see that I was told by a number of know-it-all's that there was no such program in existence anywhere in the universe, and there was no possibility in hell that the CSS would ever reduce or forgive my fiance's debt.

Well, the know-it-all's have been proven wrong. It seems l o o p h o l e s *do*, in fact, exist for certain, qualifying situations!

Do I expect that these know-it-all's will make any apologies for their misinformation, however? Of course not! That would be far too decent.