Custody of my daughter

[marinewife09]

Where the relocation distance is great, the case becomes more complex. The primary factor of best interest of the child continues to be considered along with facts such as (1) the existing custody and visitation arrangement, (2) the attachment and support of the non-custodial parent and other relatives, (3) the child's ties to the community, school, church or synagogue, and friends, and (4) the child's desires and wishes. Only a small minority of states require a custodial parent to get the written consent of the non-custodial parent or a court order based upon a finding of the court that it is in the best interest of the child to allow the move. In many states, a custodial parent can relocate if there is a valid reason for the relocation and the move does not result in harm to the child.

All I needed

 

[Just Blue]

Where the relocation distance is great, the case becomes more complex. The primary factor of best interest of the child continues to be considered along with facts such as (1) the existing custody and visitation arrangement, (2) the attachment and support of the non-custodial parent and other relatives, (3) the child's ties to the community, school, church or synagogue, and friends, and (4) the child's desires and wishes. Only a small minority of states require a custodial parent to get the written consent of the non-custodial parent or a court order based upon a finding of the court that it is in the best interest of the child to allow the move. In many states, a custodial parent can relocate if there is a valid reason for the relocation and the move does not result in harm to the child.
All I needed

 

[MichaCA]

Where the relocation distance is great, the case becomes more complex. The primary factor of best interest of the child continues to be considered along with facts such as (1) the existing custody and visitation arrangement, (2) the attachment and support of the non-custodial parent and other relatives, (3) the child's ties to the community, school, church or synagogue, and friends, and (4) the child's desires and wishes. Only a small minority of states require a custodial parent to get the written consent of the non-custodial parent or a court order based upon a finding of the court that it is in the best interest of the child to allow the move. In many states, a custodial parent can relocate if there is a valid reason for the relocation and the move does not result in harm to the child.

All I needed

OK, So you have the (1) existing order to overcome. Childs legal guardian is grandmom. (2) dad has been showing up enough for the CHILD to have an attachment to him. Also, she is quite young. Going for months without seeing dad would be disruptive to her. (4) too young so a mute point.

So you have significant hurdles to overcome. I also believe your being naive. Your first "battle" should be getting legal custody back from your mom. Consider that may impact your relationship with her and you may need to show you can provide your own housing.

I truly don't know...however it may be courts - depending on if your mom fights for it...wants your mom (IF you were to get the guardianship removed) to have court ordered visitation rights. How long has your mom being the guardian of this child? Plays into your (2) above.

I think its simply too much for a court to process all that, and grant a moveaway all at the same time. Moveaways are the "hottest issue in family law" according to one attorney. Getting guardianship revoked...you have to prove yourself to the courts. You need an attorney, and you need to be requesting the guardianship be terminated while you reside in AK. IF you get all that, later request a moveaway.

 

[Ohiogal]

Where the relocation distance is great, the case becomes more complex. The primary factor of best interest of the child continues to be considered along with facts such as (1) the existing custody and visitation arrangement, (2) the attachment and support of the non-custodial parent and other relatives, (3) the child's ties to the community, school, church or synagogue, and friends, and (4) the child's desires and wishes. Only a small minority of states require a custodial parent to get the written consent of the non-custodial parent or a court order based upon a finding of the court that it is in the best interest of the child to allow the move. In many states, a custodial parent can relocate if there is a valid reason for the relocation and the move does not result in harm to the child.

All I needed

You are NOT the custodial parent. YOU are the non custodial parent. You need to win a custody battle (and your mom can't just give you custody -- there has to be a court case where DAD is served and he gets to throw his hat into the ring). And then there is the issue that your child is greatly attached to other relatives in the area and has strong ties to the community. This is NOT a slam dunk by any means.

As for your job, you are NOT self supporting. Nor are you going to be self supporting to where you are moving. Those are issues.

 

[marinewife09]

My daughter is not attached to her father, at all. I'm not trying to move away right now, thats in the future. If my mom would just sign her back over, things would be so much easier. But that is completely up to her, and I'm sure out of spite she won't do it. My mother has always referred to herself as my daughters mother "yet it just slips out". She has always tried to control what I do with MY CHILD. Thats why she tricked me out of custody. She laughed in my face after she lied to me. You just have to know this woman lol. My younger sibling has told me stories of things that happened to my little girl while I was gone for 2 months. Stories about my father hitting her, my 2 year old! I've kept quiet about all of this because the simple fact I don't have house of my own and I know it would be difficult for me to get her back right now. Thats why I'm waiting till I am married and actually have a house. Why would I get a house right now and waste all that money when I'm going to have one by the end of June? The only thing I am lacking is a house, I know this. I honestly think my little girl would be better off with me. She is closer to my fiancee rather than her real dad. Her father is always trying to start problems with me all because of pure jealousy. He has a lot of hard feelings. As much as it kills me though I'd still like for them to have a bond. She can find out for herself how he really is when she is older.

 

[MichaCA]

All I can say is I don't see a court saying "well, great, you found a stable place to live...CA is a bit far, but since its a home we will allow you to move your child there".

The child has a home in AK. The child does have a bond with you, dad and grandma. (although again, I don't know grandma's rights IF you can get custody).

Bottom line; having a home ACROSS THE COUNTRY is not going to convince a judge to give you custody.

What you need to do next, before making any more decisions, is fork out money to talk to an attorney for one hour. He/she will tell you up front the climate in your county for moveaways, but more importantly for getting custody back of your daughter. You desperately need legal advice. I'm afraid if you don't do that, you will cause yourself much sorrow.

And seriously, reconsider marrying a man who will live so far away. Do you want to be a mom, or a wife? Because you may have to choose.

 

[marinewife09]

Obviously if it came down to it I would be a mom. That is part of my guys job, to be away, Its called sacrifice. My mom is only her temporary guardian. I've made an appointment to talk to a lawyer. As of now my main priority is to get her back from my mom.

 

[MichaCA]

I think thats a smart first step. And in the future, don't believe any legal advice your mom gives you.

 

[marinewife09]

Oh I won't. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Just Blue]

My daughter is not attached to her father, at all. I'm not trying to move away right now, thats in the future. If my mom would just sign her back over, things would be so much easier. But that is completely up to her, and I'm sure out of spite she won't do it. My mother has always referred to herself as my daughters mother "yet it just slips out". She has always tried to control what I do with MY CHILD. Thats why she tricked me out of custody. She laughed in my face after she lied to me. You just have to know this woman lol. My younger sibling has told me stories of things that happened to my little girl while I was gone for 2 months. Stories about my father hitting her, my 2 year old! I've kept quiet about all of this because the simple fact I don't have house of my own and I know it would be difficult for me to get her back right now. Thats why I'm waiting till I am married and actually have a house. Why would I get a house right now and waste all that money when I'm going to have one by the end of June? The only thing I am lacking is a house, I know this. I honestly think my little girl would be better off with me. She is closer to my fiancee rather than her real dad. Her father is always trying to start problems with me all because of pure jealousy. He has a lot of hard feelings. As much as it kills me though I'd still like for them to have a bond. She can find out for herself how he really is when she is older.

Amazing how all pivotal adults in your child's life are "spiteful".

 

[TheGeekess]

All I can say is I don't see a court saying "well, great, you found a stable place to live...CA is a bit far, but since its a home we will allow you to move your child there".

The child has a home in AK. The child does have a bond with you, dad and grandma. (although again, I don't know grandma's rights IF you can get custody).

Bottom line; having a home ACROSS THE COUNTRY is not going to convince a judge to give you custody.

What you need to do next, before making any more decisions, is fork out money to talk to an attorney for one hour. He/she will tell you up front the climate in your county for moveaways, but more importantly for getting custody back of your daughter. You desperately need legal advice. I'm afraid if you don't do that, you will cause yourself much sorrow.

And seriously, reconsider marrying a man who will live so far away. Do you want to be a mom, or a wife? Because you may have to choose.

Micah: AK = Alaska.
AR = Arkansas (where OP is)

 

[Ohiogal]

My daughter is not attached to her father, at all.

Your biased opinion. Bet dad would say she is attached to him.

I'm not trying to move away right now, thats in the future.

So you want custody based on the FUTURE? Not going to happen.

If my mom would just sign her back over, things would be so much easier.

Your mom CAN NOT just sign her back over. As this is court ordered, the COURT must sign off on it and that involves serving DAD a copy of the request for custody to be signed over to you. Which means he can argue that HE should get custody.

But that is completely up to her, and I'm sure out of spite she won't do it.

Jeez. You are surrounded by a lot of spiteful people, aren't you?

My mother has always referred to herself as my daughters mother "yet it just slips out". She has always tried to control what I do with MY CHILD. Thats why she tricked me out of custody. She laughed in my face after she lied to me.

She did NOT trick you. YOU signed the paperwork voluntarily. If you didn't want to sign, why did you? Why did you agree with it? Why didn't you act like an adult and say NO and keep custody of your child?

You just have to know this woman lol. My younger sibling has told me stories of things that happened to my little girl while I was gone for 2 months. Stories about my father hitting her, my 2 year old!

Really? Yet you have been there and have you seen that? Did your father smack her hand or beat her bloody? Two very different things.

I've kept quiet about all of this because the simple fact I don't have house of my own and I know it would be difficult for me to get her back right now.

But you said you can support your child with no help from anyone. Oh yeah...

Thats why I'm waiting till I am married and actually have a house.

Really? Or will your HUSBAND have a home?

Why would I get a house right now and waste all that money when I'm going to have one by the end of June?

The mortgage and title will be in your name? The lease will be in your name?

The only thing I am lacking is a house, I know this.

Really? What kind of job do you have to where you will be moving? What job will allow you to take off two months straight in the summer? What kind of benefits will YOU provide?

I honestly think my little girl would be better off with me. She is closer to my fiancee rather than her real dad

Parental alienation. Another strike against you. At one time you were close to her father -- her ONLY father -- to the point that you slept with him, had sex with him and carried the child to term.

Her father is always trying to start problems with me all because of pure jealousy. He has a lot of hard feelings.

More about how awful everyone else is and you are an innocent lamb. Not buying it. You have a victim mentality.

As much as it kills me though I'd still like for them to have a bond. She can find out for herself how he really is when she is older.

Or how selfish and immature you are when she is older. You are really not looking at this objectively or realistically.

 

[marinewife09]

Amazing how all pivotal adults in your child's life are "spiteful".

Obviously you don't know, now do you?

 

[Ohiogal]

Obviously you don't know, now do you?

I know that no court is going to take your word that all these people are spiteful. They will most likely look at you as being immature and alienating and bitter.

 

[Just Blue]

Obviously you don't know, now do you?

I know what you have shared.