Custody of my daughter

[Just Blue]

I know that more than likely I would be responsible for the visitation cost. There would be no hotel stays. I don't know why that would even be in the picture. And I wouldn't have this babysitting job when I left, I would OBVIOUSLY find somthing else. I quit school to stay home with my baby girl and thats when I got this "job". It gets me and her by and thats all we need.

Really? 800.00 per months pays FOR ALL? Really? Not per your postings.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know that more than likely I would be responsible for the visitation cost. There would be no hotel stays. I don't know why that would even be in the picture. And I wouldn't have this babysitting job when I left, I would OBVIOUSLY find somthing else. I quit school to stay home with my baby girl and thats when I got this "job". It gets me and her by and thats all we need.

WRONG. She needs someone to provide more than just knick-knacks. She needs someone to provide her with stability, housing, medical/dental care, food, appropriate utilities, clothing.... should I continue? She needs someone with a maturity level greater than a gnat to understand what is NECESSARY to parent.

 

[proud_parent]

OP, you keep insisting that the only thing you lack is a home of your own. Not so. Your posts give ample evidence of your complete lack of maturity, judgment, and personal responsibility for your role in this situation. Combined with a great abundance of arrogance, selfishness and defensiveness.

My daughter is not attached to her father, at all. I'm not trying to move away right now, thats in the future. If my mom would just sign her back over, things would be so much easier. But that is completely up to her, and I'm sure out of spite she won't do it. My mother has always referred to herself as my daughters mother "yet it just slips out". She has always tried to control what I do with MY CHILD. Thats why she tricked me out of custody. She laughed in my face after she lied to me. You just have to know this woman lol. My younger sibling has told me stories of things that happened to my little girl while I was gone for 2 months. Stories about my father hitting her, my 2 year old! I've kept quiet about all of this because the simple fact I don't have house of my own and I know it would be difficult for me to get her back right now. Thats why I'm waiting till I am married and actually have a house. Why would I get a house right now and waste all that money when I'm going to have one by the end of June? The only thing I am lacking is a house, I know this. I honestly think my little girl would be better off with me. She is closer to my fiancee rather than her real dad. Her father is always trying to start problems with me all because of pure jealousy. He has a lot of hard feelings. As much as it kills me though I'd still like for them to have a bond. She can find out for herself how he really is when she is older.

Well then you should also know that yes I have whitness My father trying to slap me in the face but hit my daughter instead. Whether he was trying to hit me or not, he hit her. I ALSO have many text messages saved and printed off for proof that these people are in fact spitful and would do anything for their own selfishness. You should also know that my daughter doesn't see a lick of her childsupport because my mother forges my signiture and uses it for herself. You SHOULD know that my job pays 200 plus weekly, not counting the money I have saved or that my fiancee sends me. I buy my food, clothes, pay my own phone bill along with all my other necessaties. I buy MY daughters clothes along with her food and everything else she needs. I also loan my mother money just for the simple fact that I AM living in her house and I'm paying my part. And of course her father would say they are close. You can't make a judgement unless you know these people yourself. And I'm confused to how I didn't have to go to court when my mother went to a lawyer and got the papers for me and her dad to sign over guardianship, but I would have to go to court? Obviously if my mom contested it I would. Instead of giving me LIFE advice, give me legal advice.

EVEN IF all of the above were true, your argument for not having acted sooner to remove the child from this horrible situation ("Thats why I'm waiting till I am married and actually have a house. Why would I get a house right now and waste all that money when I'm going to have one by the end of June?") is utterly uncompelling.


Get yourself a consult with a local attorney. You are clearly in over your head.

 

[Silverplum]

I feel sorry for the MARINE!!

 

[Nevergrowup]

My younger sibling has told me stories of things that happened to my little girl while I was gone for 2 months.

Where were YOU for those two months? I see a lot of words coming through...making it sound like you know being a mom is first priority, but your actions prove otherwise.

If your two year old was abused, it is YOUR FAULT. You are the one that wasn't there to make sure she was safe, you dumped her on someone else. And I don't really care where you were or what the reason was that you were gone...no excuse is a good one. Poor child.

 

[Silverplum]

Obviously if it came down to it I would be a mom. That is part of my guys job, to be away, Its called sacrifice.

Poor Marine.

 

[SESmama]

The biggest issues I see are

1) You have to fight to obtain custody of your daughter from a court appointed guardian

2) You need to become completely self sufficient. Not just "paying for your own stuff" but truly budgeting for all of life's stuff
a) Housing (house, apartment, efficiency, paying mom & dad rent)
b) Utilities (gas, water, power, trash service, food, clothing, medical - and THAT gets high, daycare, gas for the car, and on and on)
c) future plans such as school for kiddo, extra activites for kiddo, dental, school lunches, outgrowing shoes and clothing every 6 months

And ALL of this withOUT anyone else giving you any money or other help. No, state medical is not self sufficient. Food stamps is NOT being self sufficient.

3) You need to prove to the courts you should be primary IF you actually are able to terminate your mother's guardianship.

4) You need to prove to the court that it is in the child's best interest to move away from everything she has ever known. Doesn't matter if it is dad or gandmother. Both are active in her life regardless of how much or how little.

5) Biggest of all? You need to grow up and realize that things are NOT always that easy and set backs are truly commonplace and if you let one little failure (such as NOT getting the apartment because you just couldn't leave your daughter without you) stop you then you have already sunk yourself.

You have a very long haul ahead of you and very little knowledge. You need to get cracking if you hope to have this all resolved by May of next year.

 

[Silverplum]

I think my daughter would have plenty of stability with a guranteed home, insurance, and steady paycheck.

NONE of which YOU are providing.

The poor MARINE would be providing all of those things.

What will YOU be doing?

Never mind...I know. Rhetorical question. <ugh>

 

[Nevergrowup]

Look.

I've been 20, single, with a child, living with my parents.

You act like you've got it all figured out...but are you smart enough to stop, take a look, and realize we are ALL telling you the same things? Do you realize how rare it is for everyone posting to agree on a topic? Do you really think that we are all wrong, and you are entirely correct? That might be a bit narcissistic, don't you think?

Not once did I leave my child for days/weeks/months at a time. I went to school and worked and got my own apartment after my parents helped me. You say you are sacrificing. What? You are sacrificing...well, nothing. Others in your life are sacrificing because of your choices. Your mom who I'm sure didn't expect to raise her grandchild. Your poor dumb fiance who is about to support you. Don't you have any respect for yourself? Don't you want to better your life and yourself?

You are young, but that stops being an excuse when you have another life to take care of, and you are NOT taking care of her. $800 a month? You know, at Target a couple of days ago I bought (for kids) 3 pairs of jeans, several t shirts, underwear, a couple pairs of clearanced shoes, pet food, and groceries...and spent over $300. That is in one week. Granted I have more kids, but do you see where I'm going with this? Kids don't get cheaper as they get older. Your $800 is practically nothing in the whole scheme of things.

You aren't getting it. And it doesn't sound like you are going to until you take a look around you and realize some facts, not just your own set of made up, partially true facts that you are viewing through your colored contacts. You have made some really poor choices, and you are about to make more...

 

[marinewife09]

Where is this $800 dollars a month coming from? I never said anything about $800. I know I've made poor choices IN MY PAST, haven't we all? I know I have a lot to do to get my daughter back. I am no ignorant to any of this. Yea poor marine, poor marine actually wants his soon to be wife to stay home and take care of her daughter and go to school rather than work. How sad.

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

You SHOULD know that my job pays 200 plus weekly.

$200 per week x 4 weeks per month = $800.00

 

[Silverplum]

Where is this $800 dollars a month coming from? I never said anything about $800. I know I've made poor choices IN MY PAST, haven't we all? I know I have a lot to do to get my daughter back. I am no ignorant to any of this. Yea poor marine, poor marine actually wants his soon to be wife to stay home and take care of her daughter and go to school rather than work. How sad.

He's gonna BE sad. Soon.

Poor Marine.

His future "wife" doesn't even respect his work enough to properly capitalize his title. That's a huge shame.

 

[Silverplum]

$200 per week x 4 weeks per month = $800.00

Nice of you to do the math for the poster.

She's not gonna *get it,* but it was nice nonetheless.

 

[marinewife09]

I do pay rent to my parents. She asked if she needed money would I give it and that would count as rent. I don't think the MARINE is too sad..He's still marrying me

 

[GoodDadtoBK]

Go away, OP.

You are no longer asking for legal advice, you are trying to prove a point (which isn't going to happen here, by the way).