Artemis_ofthe_Hunt
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MN,
Hello and thanks in advance for your help. I am a single mom of a 2 year old. My son's father is not involved.... this isn't to say that I don't hear from him, but its often 3-6 months in between communications and is always threats about how if I don't do what he wants me to, he's going to take me to court and take our son from me. Never asking about how our child is doing, never asks if there is anything that he needs... nothing.
The background:
My sons father and I were never married. About October of 07, just after our first marriage counseling (my church requires it in order to marry with the blessing of the church), I found out that he was sleeping with my "best friend" and intended on leaving me. I was naturally very hurt, announced that I was moving back to MN (living in WY), to which he replied that he knew that. I told him and his family when I was leaving, mutual friends of ours were at the house helping me finish packing and he never called, never showed. I had contacted an attorney to make sure that I could leave the state, to which I was told that since there was no order in place and I had notified the father of my intention to leave that it was up to him to put any objections in front of the court. He didn't object and didn't try to stop me.
Shortly after arriving at my mothers house, I filed for child support. He signed the ROP and he is on the birth certificate. He paid nothing during the interim, waiting until the court order was in place before paying anything... something like 6 months. This is when the threats started. Mostly coming from his girlfriend, some that she signed for him (its funny how his signature looks like hers!). I was employed part time during this time but on state assistance for medical and food stamps.
I was laid off at the end of November, applied for God only knows how many jobs for the next several months, only to receive threats that if I didn't get a job and do my part in paying for our son, that he may as well raise him if he has to continue to pay (his words... "if I am to continue to pay $ a month, I may as well raise him"). I did not answer this email, but continued my job search. I finally found a good job, sucky hours, but a good paying job that will afford me to support our son, with or without his help... in two years when I max out on pay. At this point, I am still living with my mother who helps with daycare when I work on the weekends, takes care of him in the mornings and takes him to daycare during the week. Due to my hours, I don't see this changing.
Fast forward to now:
My son is now two, has no idea who his father is, albeit partially my fault for moving so far away, however, he has made no attempts to ask for any kind of visitation. I have never replied to his threats, they would only fuel the fire. He (well SHE) demanded monthly updates and pictures, threatening me with dire consequences (their words not mine) if I did not comply with their demands. I complied with the monthly updates for several months, then fell behind due to now working more than full time.
I have never said nor implied that he couldn't see his son, never said that he couldn't be a part of his life. He was behind in child support 6 months up until the first of this year, pays at different times during the month, sometimes 45-60 days apart. He falsely claimed him on his taxes this year, the IRS is investigating. I am court ordered to provide health insurance, which I do now that I am employed full time (he was covered under MA until July 1 of this year). This arrangement of the health insurance was due to the out of network expenses that would have resulted if he were to provide through his employment. I am not worried that he could take full custody, I am a good mother, I provide for my child and have always been the primary caregiver, to the point that in the first 6 months of our childs life, he change maybe a dozen diapers (saying "diapers are a mommy thing"), never gave baths and didn't help with any kind of entertainment for our child... preferring to stick him in the bouncy seat on the couch next to him only looking at him at commercials or when our son made too much noise.
Sorry for all of the background info, its long and convoluted (although I have given the "cliff notes" version while trying to keep all of the pertinent info in) but my questions are:
1) what is my obligation towards my sons father concerning updates, when he doesn't specifically ask?
2) what are my options at demanding supervised visitations in my hometown, since it would be traumatic to our child to be "exchanged" in the middle for "summer and Christmas maybe" visitation as he is demanding?
3) since there is no court order in place, he would have to file here in MN for any custody or visitation, but should I initiate to put down on paper with the court that I am the sole custodial parent and sole legal parent?
4) what would a reasonable long distance parenting plan include, being that our child is so young and doesn't know either his father or his girlfriend?
5) what are my options to stop her from communicating with me pretending to be him?
Thanks again, I wait on bated breath for your replies!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Hello and thanks in advance for your help. I am a single mom of a 2 year old. My son's father is not involved.... this isn't to say that I don't hear from him, but its often 3-6 months in between communications and is always threats about how if I don't do what he wants me to, he's going to take me to court and take our son from me. Never asking about how our child is doing, never asks if there is anything that he needs... nothing.
The background:
My sons father and I were never married. About October of 07, just after our first marriage counseling (my church requires it in order to marry with the blessing of the church), I found out that he was sleeping with my "best friend" and intended on leaving me. I was naturally very hurt, announced that I was moving back to MN (living in WY), to which he replied that he knew that. I told him and his family when I was leaving, mutual friends of ours were at the house helping me finish packing and he never called, never showed. I had contacted an attorney to make sure that I could leave the state, to which I was told that since there was no order in place and I had notified the father of my intention to leave that it was up to him to put any objections in front of the court. He didn't object and didn't try to stop me.
Shortly after arriving at my mothers house, I filed for child support. He signed the ROP and he is on the birth certificate. He paid nothing during the interim, waiting until the court order was in place before paying anything... something like 6 months. This is when the threats started. Mostly coming from his girlfriend, some that she signed for him (its funny how his signature looks like hers!). I was employed part time during this time but on state assistance for medical and food stamps.
I was laid off at the end of November, applied for God only knows how many jobs for the next several months, only to receive threats that if I didn't get a job and do my part in paying for our son, that he may as well raise him if he has to continue to pay (his words... "if I am to continue to pay $ a month, I may as well raise him"). I did not answer this email, but continued my job search. I finally found a good job, sucky hours, but a good paying job that will afford me to support our son, with or without his help... in two years when I max out on pay. At this point, I am still living with my mother who helps with daycare when I work on the weekends, takes care of him in the mornings and takes him to daycare during the week. Due to my hours, I don't see this changing.
Fast forward to now:
My son is now two, has no idea who his father is, albeit partially my fault for moving so far away, however, he has made no attempts to ask for any kind of visitation. I have never replied to his threats, they would only fuel the fire. He (well SHE) demanded monthly updates and pictures, threatening me with dire consequences (their words not mine) if I did not comply with their demands. I complied with the monthly updates for several months, then fell behind due to now working more than full time.
I have never said nor implied that he couldn't see his son, never said that he couldn't be a part of his life. He was behind in child support 6 months up until the first of this year, pays at different times during the month, sometimes 45-60 days apart. He falsely claimed him on his taxes this year, the IRS is investigating. I am court ordered to provide health insurance, which I do now that I am employed full time (he was covered under MA until July 1 of this year). This arrangement of the health insurance was due to the out of network expenses that would have resulted if he were to provide through his employment. I am not worried that he could take full custody, I am a good mother, I provide for my child and have always been the primary caregiver, to the point that in the first 6 months of our childs life, he change maybe a dozen diapers (saying "diapers are a mommy thing"), never gave baths and didn't help with any kind of entertainment for our child... preferring to stick him in the bouncy seat on the couch next to him only looking at him at commercials or when our son made too much noise.
Sorry for all of the background info, its long and convoluted (although I have given the "cliff notes" version while trying to keep all of the pertinent info in) but my questions are:
1) what is my obligation towards my sons father concerning updates, when he doesn't specifically ask?
2) what are my options at demanding supervised visitations in my hometown, since it would be traumatic to our child to be "exchanged" in the middle for "summer and Christmas maybe" visitation as he is demanding?
3) since there is no court order in place, he would have to file here in MN for any custody or visitation, but should I initiate to put down on paper with the court that I am the sole custodial parent and sole legal parent?
4) what would a reasonable long distance parenting plan include, being that our child is so young and doesn't know either his father or his girlfriend?
5) what are my options to stop her from communicating with me pretending to be him?
Thanks again, I wait on bated breath for your replies!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?