phone calls

[CJane]

Since you said it first ... I was thinking the same thing, but didn't know if it was OK to suggest such a thing. But, then, this is only "if it were me".

I would call CPS every 10 minutes until they were at my door.
I would file a police report regarding what Dad said in court and what happened at his house.
I would ABSOLUTELY NOT turn my child over to Dad until the court made me. I would take that risk for my child's welfare.

And it WOULD be a risk. But I would do it.

 

[happybug]

[QUOTEWell, I answerd because I was afraid it might be my son. It was. He was crying and said to meet him outfront. I went out front and step mom came up to the door crying. Son was shaking and they both went on to tell me how dad was having a fit and breaking things again. He smashed his car with a sledge hammer and was screaming in son's face that he's a little A**hole. Son had not eaten all day and it was 12:30. Step mom said she had removed her own kids from the house yesterday because dad was acting so crazy and violent.[/QUOTE]

Your son called you. Step Mom was NOT the person returning him here. In fact she was so scared she got her own children out a day BEFORE your son called you. I would make sure these 2 facts make it into your case. She can't be trusted to protect your child and since SHE is now asking for joint custody, she obviously doesn't have your son's best interests at heart. Get these things documented so hopefully she will NEVER be appointed to supervise her husband's visitation of your child.

Good Luck!!!

 

[xxnatalixx]

[QUOTEWell, I answerd because I was afraid it might be my son. It was. He was crying and said to meet him outfront. I went out front and step mom came up to the door crying. Son was shaking and they both went on to tell me how dad was having a fit and breaking things again. He smashed his car with a sledge hammer and was screaming in son's face that he's a little A**hole. Son had not eaten all day and it was 12:30. Step mom said she had removed her own kids from the house yesterday because dad was acting so crazy and violent.

Your son called you. Step Mom was NOT the person returning him here. In fact she was so scared she got her own children out a day BEFORE your son called you. I would make sure these 2 facts make it into your case. She can't be trusted to protect your child and since SHE is now asking for joint custody, she obviously doesn't have your son's best interests at heart. Get these things documented so hopefully she will NEVER be appointed to supervise her husband's visitation of your child.

Good Luck!!![/QUOTE]


I just found out yesterday that she actually left my son with his dad in the middle of his rampage to walk about 20 minutes to go get her mothers van. My son also told me yesterday that his dad threw a piece of glass at the wall and it landed by his feet. I'm finding out more and more as time goes on. It's so hard not to drill him for info. but I think it's best if I just let him talk about it on his own.(I could be wrong) His counselor will be back in her office today so maybe she can get more details. If the magistrate does order supervised visits, then they would take place at the visitation center, but dad has made it VERY clear that if they make them supervised he will never see him again.

 

[xxnatalixx]

Try to get in front of the same magistrate who heard him threaten you and saw him storm out of the courtroom in a fit.

Also? It is my opinion that IF IT WERE ME I would NOT send child to Dad's. I would risk the contempt charge and just not be home.

It IS going to be the same magistrate. I couldn't be happier about that. It really says something that so many people on here are telling me not to send him. I've read a million threads, and NEVER seen anyone say that. It kind of reinforces to me that it's not just me. A couple of my family members have given me a hard time about not wanting his dad to take him and it kind of made me wonder for a while if I was being unreasonable. I can't believe that wanting my son to be safe and happy is being unreasonable though.

 

[xxnatalixx]

I would call CPS every 10 minutes until they were at my door.
I would file a police report regarding what Dad said in court and what happened at his house.
I would ABSOLUTELY NOT turn my child over to Dad until the court made me. I would take that risk for my child's welfare.

And it WOULD be a risk. But I would do it.

I am going to call them, no, strike that, I'm going to take my child there today and not leave until they interview him. Honestly though, I kind of lost my faith in them 3 years ago when I called them about a 2 year old I knew and said, "If you don't do something quick, this child's going to end up dead."
A week later, she died. They went to the house to interview the father, but never once asked to see the child or saw how he interacted with her or anything. With all the details I provided, she should have been removed right away. The poor baby was in the hospital for "falling" down the steps when I called, (3rd time that week)and they didn't interview dad until 4 days later. Some of the people at CPS I absolutely love, but overall, I don't think they are taking me very seriously.

 

[wileybunch]

It IS going to be the same magistrate. I couldn't be happier about that. It really says something that so many people on here are telling me not to send him. I've read a million threads, and NEVER seen anyone say that. It kind of reinforces to me that it's not just me. A couple of my family members have given me a hard time about not wanting his dad to take him and it kind of made me wonder for a while if I was being unreasonable. I can't believe that wanting my son to be safe and happy is being unreasonable though.

Well, just to be clear, "happy" isn't something you can necessarily strive for. Kids have their own temperaments even in intact families, it's subjective, etc. but SAFE from serious bodily harm is another matter and THAT is where the crux of the matter is.

 

[wileybunch]

Your son called you. Step Mom was NOT the person returning him here. In fact she was so scared she got her own children out a day BEFORE your son called you. I would make sure these 2 facts make it into your case. She can't be trusted to protect your child and since SHE is now asking for joint custody, she obviously doesn't have your son's best interests at heart. Get these things documented so hopefully she will NEVER be appointed to supervise her husband's visitation of your child.

Good Luck!!!

It sounds like s-mom was being somewhat held hostage, at least so that she couldn't use a car from their own home. S-mom probably wasn't allowed to leave with OP's son. So Dad is out of control and there's no one that can protect him. When push came to shove, s-mom got her own kids out (maybe b/c she could not get OP's child out) and did take some action to make him safe, but is it enough? No. S-mom can't be relied on, the next time she may have to bolt again and who will make sure the boy is safe?

Dad's ability to deal seems to be hanging by a thin thread and the judge has already seen this so that is "good".

 

[xxnatalixx]

I filed the motion at 11:30 this morning but have not heard anything yet. They said they'll call me. I also filed for a guardian ad litem. Then I took him to children services and when they were done interviewing him they had me sign a safety plan stating that I would not let him have contact with his father. It says that the father is responsible for domestic violence in the presence of the child. Too bad it doesn't trump the custody order.Maybe it will help my case though. I also talked to his counselor today who is also going to speak to children services about all of her concerns. She is also getting him a case manager through the agency she works for to try to help. Now I'm just sitting here praying the court house calls TODAY. My son is sick to his stomach and feeling very anxious because he knows today is Wed.

 

[LdiJ]

I filed the motion at 11:30 this morning but have not heard anything yet. They said they'll call me. I also filed for a guardian ad litem. Then I took him to children services and when they were done interviewing him they had me sign a safety plan stating that I would not let him have contact with his father. It says that the father is responsible for domestic violence in the presence of the child. Too bad it doesn't trump the custody order.Maybe it will help my case though. I also talked to his counselor today who is also going to speak to children services about all of her concerns. She is also getting him a case manager through the agency she works for to try to help. Now I'm just sitting here praying the court house calls TODAY. My son is sick to his stomach and feeling very anxious because he knows today is Wed.

If children's services had you sign a safety plan, then you are kind of between a rock and a hard place. You could be held in contempt if you don't obey the court order, but children's services could take your child away from you if you don't honor the safety plan.

If I were you, I would not send the child today and then if dad files for contempt (which I kind of doubt that he will based on his behavior in court the last time) then I would defend myself on the basis of the DV and the children's services safety plan.

 

[xxnatalixx]

If children's services had you sign a safety plan, then you are kind of between a rock and a hard place. You could be held in contempt if you don't obey the court order, but children's services could take your child away from you if you don't honor the safety plan.

If I were you, I would not send the child today and then if dad files for contempt (which I kind of doubt that he will based on his behavior in court the last time) then I would defend myself on the basis of the DV and the children's services safety plan.

I was kind of hoping somone would say that. It's what I was thinking, but I don't want to make these decisions on my own since I'm so emotionally involved and I have to admit that not every choice I've ever made in this was the right one.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

If CPS is going to get involved with a safety plan, then their plan (with probably orders for dad to go to Anger Management classes) will land up trumping the court ordered parenting plan.