Order to Show Cause

[Proserpina]

No I get your point. It's turned into a really big deal over $30

My point is the big picture which is that he can afford it and was saying no just to deny me something I was requesting. Like the other 10 things he's said "no" to. To our daughter's detriment.

Are you seriously doing this over $30?

Really?

This is NOT good co-parenting. Sometimes a parent has to suck it up and be the bigger person. It doesn't MATTER if he can afford it or not.

 

[luvisabattle]

It's too late now. The contempt order has been filed I don't think I can go back and say that I'll pay the difference. Or can I?

There's been alot of non-co-parenting since I had our pp modified in 2009, won't the commissioner take that into consideration?

 

[luvisabattle]

Another consideration is the fact that if the father utilized his weekday time with our daughter each week the cost for after-school care at the new facility would be the same as the old one.

 

[Just Blue]

Love is NOT a battle...Unless YOU chose it to be.


sigh...

 

[luvisabattle]

If everyone were rational there would be no need for attorneys.

But love isn't rational alot of the time, so I guess that's why Benatar used the analogy.

Also it's hard to take legal advice from someone who uses emoticons.....

 

[WittyUserName]

If everyone were rational there would be no need for attorneys.

But love isn't rational alot of the time, so I guess that's why Benatar used the analogy.

Also it's hard to take legal advice from someone who uses emoticons.....

Then pay for a lawyer and get your legal advice there.

 

[Mom_of_Two]

Are you seriously doing this over $30?

Really?

This is NOT good co-parenting. Sometimes a parent has to suck it up and be the bigger person. It doesn't MATTER if he can afford it or not.

From what I understood, he is filing contempt because he doesn't like the extra $30 a month, not her. He is causing the huff over a lousy thirty bucks...it's seems kind of extreme to take her to court for this! No?!

 

[luvisabattle]

I've also had her start start seeing a therapist after school one day a week, so the charge per month will be the same at the new place as the old place.

Plus if her father took her for one day after school like our PP states, the charge would be $65 less per month than the old place.

We have been e-mailing back and forth since she started being bullied at the old place over 9 months ago and there hasn't been any proposed solution from the father just a statement that our duaghter isn't telling the truth about how she was treated and that he would not agree to a change.

 

[CJane]

From what I understood, he is filing contempt because he doesn't like the extra $30 a month, not her. He is causing the huff over a lousy thirty bucks...it's seems kind of extreme to take her to court for this! No?!

Actually, he filed contempt because Mom is making unilateral decisions about the child when they have joint custody. She changed day care providers - to a more expensive location w/out his agreement, the kid is in therapy w/out dad's agreement, etc.

The contempt is against Mom for violating the terms of the joint custody order.

 

[luvisabattle]

correction: after the father's 15 yr old step-son exposed himself to our 8 yr old daughter the father did agree to her being in therapy.

 

[CJane]

correction: after the father's 15 yr old step-son exposed himself to our 8 yr old daughter the father did agree to her being in therapy.

Ahhh, so he's not actually roadblocking every decision you attempt to discuss with him - in fact, when there's a legitimate NEED for something, he's on board with it.

And I just gotta say - almost every thread you've posted has read as if YOU are roadblocking DAD every step of the way.

"He wanted X and I refused because *insert really good reason here*."
"I want X and he's a poopy head for not agreeing and I'm going to do it anyway."
"Our child was injured on his time, but I just KNOW he did something horrible to her!"

 

[stealth2]

Seriously? Grow up. Whether he does or not. Ridiculous that this situation got to the point it has. Expect the court to throw the book at the both of you.

 

[luvisabattle]

Ahhh, so he's not actually roadblocking every decision you attempt to discuss with him - in fact, when there's a legitimate NEED for something, he's on board with it.

And I just gotta say - almost every thread you've posted has read as if YOU are roadblocking DAD every step of the way.

"He wanted X and I refused because *insert really good reason here*."
"I want X and he's a poopy head for not agreeing and I'm going to do it anyway."

"Our child was injured on his time, but I just KNOW he did something horrible to her!"

Among several other reasons (you can read about them in my previous posts)including his wife's son's recently discovered sexually inappropriate behavior towards our daughter - it's in his best interest to agree that she be in therapy.

I don't know what you are refering to. Name one instance where I "roadblocked" him. He's completely uninvolved in what interests our daughter and has not requested anything that we would need to jointly decide on so I find that doubtful.

The only thing he has requested was my scheduled weekends and/or vacation and/or holiday time - and then he took the time even though I disagreed. I would have filed a contempt order, but instead I requested mediation so that we could resolve the issues.

She broke the window out of a car with her face resulting in 30 stitches. It was 8:30 at night, she was riding a bike that is too big for her around cars, and unsupervised. His wife took our daughter to the emergency room he waited until later to be with her. He could have used common sense and that would have prevented the accident, our daughter will have scars to her face forever due to his neglect.

My intentions were to help our daughter and find a daycare where she could be happy. I have good reason for the change and tried to work it out with the father over a nine month period and he never once offered up a solution but in fact denied there was an issue and went so far as to call our daughter a liar.

It's telling that the father has issue with the cost of daycare but does not hesitate (hence a contempt order) in racking up the legal costs. He reported in documents that he has spent over $25K so far.

I believe the courts will not find me in contempt. I'll keep you posted.

 

[Just Blue]

I believe the courts will not find me in contempt. I'll keep you posted.

Yes...We will wait with bated breath for you "factual" accounting of the hearing.

 

[CJane]

Among several other reasons (you can read about them in my previous posts)including his wife's son's recently discovered sexually inappropriate behavior towards our daughter - it's in his best interest to agree that she be in therapy.

How "recently discovered"? Because you referred to it over a year ago, (10/02/2009) when you were justifying your refusal to allow Dad vacation time. And, this reason was actually secondary to her missing a week of school, according to your post.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/vacation-time-issue-486830.html#post2374449
There are many many family problems going on in my ex's home that cause my daughter to not want to spend time with them. He has a fourteen year old step-son that has been inappropriate with our daughter

I don't know what you are refering to. Name one instance where I "roadblocked" him. He's completely uninvolved in what interests our daughter and has not requested anything that we would need to jointly decide on so I find that doubtful.

You were actually asked a few times in that thread if kiddo was in counseling re: stepbrother's behavior, and you never answered except to say that he's also a bully and you don't know how to help her.

The only thing he has requested was my scheduled weekends and/or vacation and/or holiday time - and then he took the time even though I disagreed. I would have filed a contempt order, but instead I requested mediation so that we could resolve the issues.

You requested mediation because that's what's in your order.

But when EX follows the order, you get upset. In this thread, you complain that he's "never contributed anything financially that he's not ordered to" and then complain that his family didn't spend enough money on your child's birthday and YOU "had to" pay over $300 for a party and gifts. I'd wager that there are a whole lot of parents on this board who would never DREAM of spending $300 on a child for a birthday party.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/step-children-credit-496513.html

In this thread, you blame your negative responses to emails on your ex, and then admit that you refused to communicate with him directly regarding day care even though he has ROFR. (which is interesting ... does he STILL have ROFR?)

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/lawyer-client-information-499407.html

Last December, you began asking here about changing daycare - not due to bullying, but because she'd be more able to participate in sports and after school activities. And the cost was $75 more/month. You added "believe me, he can afford it" when that is impossible for you to know.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/constant-conflict-496319.html

In that same thread (January posting), you talked about getting her therapy. Not for her stepbrother's inappropriate behavior, but because she "barely knows her father" and it makes her "physically ill" to visit him. (After 2 years, no less)

AND, in that thread, you state that he'd kicked the stepson out just after Christmas.

In this thread, and one just previous to it, you're trying really hard to justify filing a motion rather than mediating. Which is ironic, if nothing else.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/lawyers-delay-tactics-503602.html

And that was back in February. Did you ever file a motion/go to mediation?

In this thread in June, you're again saying how badly you want to file a motion to clarify the parenting plan. Apparently at some point y'all DID end up in mediation and didn't come to an agreement. But you never filed the motion. You also mention again that you want to change child's daycare.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/ex-didnt-make-pickup-friday-519667.html

In this thread, you're griping about a child support modification again, and this time you just don't think it's fair that he should get a residential credit OR a weekday overnight. You mention that kiddo isn't getting along with stepmom anymore, but you still have never again mentioned the stepbrother - who was presumably still living outside the home?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/fathers-residential-credit-519781.html

In this thread, ex's attorney is threatening to file an ex parte to prevent you from moving the child's daycare. You give reasons such as more school work assistance, etc - and secondarily mention bullying by a couple of the boys. And at this point, the daycare is $17 more, rather than $75.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/ex-parte-restraining-order-513706.html

In this thread from December 2009, you're again complaining about the situation at Dad's house, but do not mention the stepbrother as one of those problems.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/question-tinkerbelle-498521-p2.html

In this thread (child support again), you're trying to have stepmom's income calculated into his support for your child, and convince the judge that Dad is working a second job/makes more than you believe he does.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-support-98/support-trial-530125.html

How much money you get from dad is CLEARLY a huge issue for you.

Which brings us to this thread.

Dad sounds like a jerk-wad. But sunshine? You don't sound much better. At. All.

It's OBVIOUS you would love it if Dad had just continued not having a relationship with the child at all, and that you'll grasp at any straw that you think my help you build your case against Dad.

But your credibility and the importance of those straws is inconsistent and frankly, I think you're on an excellent track to have the child completely dependent upon you and alienated from Dad's entire family in no time.