katiebug198989
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas/Idaho/Washington
In April 2009, I was living in Idaho, I was raped by my (then) friend's fiance. We'd all three been drinking, he'd always given me the creeps, and I had written the whole experience off as a drunken nightmare. A month later, one week after my 20th birthday, I found out I was pregnant. Which caused more drama than any one human could ever wish to deal with. In gist, obviously, the "father" and I never had a 'relationship' of any kind. We weren't friends, we weren't in a romantic situation -- I basically put up with him for the sake of my friend.
He denied touching me, of course, saying I'd made it up. Later changing his story to I "seduced" him. Ironically I'd never been attracted to him. And I was passed out on my couch with his fiances PUKE in my hair!! My (then) friend went around our place of work telling people my business. I had been off the two days after finding out I was pregnant, and returned to co-works asking me personal questions. Every single person was taking one side or another. I just wanted my business to stay my business. Then the "fathers" mother started calling me 50-80 times a day, as well as leaving me 100+ texts. She'd refuse to answer the phone when I would actually call back. I told my mom about the problems these people were causing me. She called his mother, where his mother informed mine that she didn't believe her son would do what I was accusing him of, and then insinuated that I was a slut. (I'd never had sex before being raped. Little lone slutted around the town as this woman implied). After all was said and done I couldn't take it anymore. I moved to Kansas.
After leaving the state and moving to Kansas I found out the the "father" and his fiance had went around telling people that I had moved away from Idaho because I wasn't actually pregnant. Which wasn't the case. I got into an argument with my step-dads brother that turned physical when he slammed a door into my, then, pregnant belly. I found out I was having twins when I went to the hospital. Fast forward a few months down the road to November 2009, I lost Ross (baby A). They informed me that they could not deliver him because they weren't completely sure that it'd be beneficial to my other child. I'd have to carry him until I naturally went into labor. Fast forward a few weeks, I deliver my other son in December. Six weeks and 6 days premature. Do to the premature birth they tried to claim that my son wasn't even the "fathers" baby. That is was impossible because he came nearly two months before I'd be due, had that been the case. Obviously they'd never heard of premature birth? I don't know.
My son was in the NICU for the nearly 7 weeks he was born premature. Which meant a lot of close calls, late nights, traveling, bills, and everything else under the sun that I was far more concerned with than Child Support. When he was released to go home we still weren't out of the woods. Weekly in-home nurse visits, weekly doctor office visits, late nights, o2 monitors going off, o2 tanks being ordered and installed, and new motherhood woes to be dealt with. All yet again more important than Child Support. When my son was about a year old I finally filed for Child Support. I was under the assumption that it would take care of the day he was born to the current date, when proven and awarded. I didn't find out until much later that I was totally off base with that assumption. Kansas did not enforce the DNA testing. The "father" refused to take the test numerous times. I'd also been told in order to file an order of protection for my address and personal information that I'd have to file a rape charge against the "father" through the state the crime took place. I called the local police department in which the rape took place and spoke with a detective. When he told I was going to have give a detailed statement, I started, got cold feet and hung up on the officer. I couldn't do it, I couldn't explain that embarrassment to a police officer. After the mockery I faced from my peers after explaining what'd happened I didn't want to go through it with a police officer. The Order of Protection was still issued. By the time I'd decided to move to Oklahoma I'd all but given up on getting Child Support because it appeared as if Kansas nor Idaho were going to force the issue. Oklahoma however DID enforce the issue and made him take the DNA, which proved that my rapist WAS my sons "father". I was then awarded the Child Support Order. But I was informed in order to collect arrears from birth I'd have to get a lawyer.
After the amount was set and the payments started the "father" enlisted in the army. He sometimes doesn't pay the full amount, in the court order he's supposed to pay for health insurance on my son if it's cheaper for him to do so, it is, he doesn't. It's also in the court order that he must pay for some portion of childcare while I am working (daycare), he doesn't.
My questions:
1) What kind of lawyer do I need?
2) Will starting a case for arrears subsequently start a custody case?
3) If a custody case IS started, do I have some kind of rights to keep my son away from this man?
4) Can the "fathers" mother cause me any kind of issues? Like can she get some kind of visitation?
5) How do I make the "father" pay for my sons health insurance and his part of daycare?
6) Do I need to tell the Child Support Agency that the "father" has enlisted, or is that HIS job?
7) Is going after arrears truly worth the headache I'm sure it'll bring on?
Any answers and advice would be great!
Please try to be polite, or at very least, don't be too rude. Thanks.
In April 2009, I was living in Idaho, I was raped by my (then) friend's fiance. We'd all three been drinking, he'd always given me the creeps, and I had written the whole experience off as a drunken nightmare. A month later, one week after my 20th birthday, I found out I was pregnant. Which caused more drama than any one human could ever wish to deal with. In gist, obviously, the "father" and I never had a 'relationship' of any kind. We weren't friends, we weren't in a romantic situation -- I basically put up with him for the sake of my friend.
He denied touching me, of course, saying I'd made it up. Later changing his story to I "seduced" him. Ironically I'd never been attracted to him. And I was passed out on my couch with his fiances PUKE in my hair!! My (then) friend went around our place of work telling people my business. I had been off the two days after finding out I was pregnant, and returned to co-works asking me personal questions. Every single person was taking one side or another. I just wanted my business to stay my business. Then the "fathers" mother started calling me 50-80 times a day, as well as leaving me 100+ texts. She'd refuse to answer the phone when I would actually call back. I told my mom about the problems these people were causing me. She called his mother, where his mother informed mine that she didn't believe her son would do what I was accusing him of, and then insinuated that I was a slut. (I'd never had sex before being raped. Little lone slutted around the town as this woman implied). After all was said and done I couldn't take it anymore. I moved to Kansas.
After leaving the state and moving to Kansas I found out the the "father" and his fiance had went around telling people that I had moved away from Idaho because I wasn't actually pregnant. Which wasn't the case. I got into an argument with my step-dads brother that turned physical when he slammed a door into my, then, pregnant belly. I found out I was having twins when I went to the hospital. Fast forward a few months down the road to November 2009, I lost Ross (baby A). They informed me that they could not deliver him because they weren't completely sure that it'd be beneficial to my other child. I'd have to carry him until I naturally went into labor. Fast forward a few weeks, I deliver my other son in December. Six weeks and 6 days premature. Do to the premature birth they tried to claim that my son wasn't even the "fathers" baby. That is was impossible because he came nearly two months before I'd be due, had that been the case. Obviously they'd never heard of premature birth? I don't know.
My son was in the NICU for the nearly 7 weeks he was born premature. Which meant a lot of close calls, late nights, traveling, bills, and everything else under the sun that I was far more concerned with than Child Support. When he was released to go home we still weren't out of the woods. Weekly in-home nurse visits, weekly doctor office visits, late nights, o2 monitors going off, o2 tanks being ordered and installed, and new motherhood woes to be dealt with. All yet again more important than Child Support. When my son was about a year old I finally filed for Child Support. I was under the assumption that it would take care of the day he was born to the current date, when proven and awarded. I didn't find out until much later that I was totally off base with that assumption. Kansas did not enforce the DNA testing. The "father" refused to take the test numerous times. I'd also been told in order to file an order of protection for my address and personal information that I'd have to file a rape charge against the "father" through the state the crime took place. I called the local police department in which the rape took place and spoke with a detective. When he told I was going to have give a detailed statement, I started, got cold feet and hung up on the officer. I couldn't do it, I couldn't explain that embarrassment to a police officer. After the mockery I faced from my peers after explaining what'd happened I didn't want to go through it with a police officer. The Order of Protection was still issued. By the time I'd decided to move to Oklahoma I'd all but given up on getting Child Support because it appeared as if Kansas nor Idaho were going to force the issue. Oklahoma however DID enforce the issue and made him take the DNA, which proved that my rapist WAS my sons "father". I was then awarded the Child Support Order. But I was informed in order to collect arrears from birth I'd have to get a lawyer.
After the amount was set and the payments started the "father" enlisted in the army. He sometimes doesn't pay the full amount, in the court order he's supposed to pay for health insurance on my son if it's cheaper for him to do so, it is, he doesn't. It's also in the court order that he must pay for some portion of childcare while I am working (daycare), he doesn't.
My questions:
1) What kind of lawyer do I need?
2) Will starting a case for arrears subsequently start a custody case?
3) If a custody case IS started, do I have some kind of rights to keep my son away from this man?
4) Can the "fathers" mother cause me any kind of issues? Like can she get some kind of visitation?
5) How do I make the "father" pay for my sons health insurance and his part of daycare?
6) Do I need to tell the Child Support Agency that the "father" has enlisted, or is that HIS job?
7) Is going after arrears truly worth the headache I'm sure it'll bring on?
Any answers and advice would be great!
Please try to be polite, or at very least, don't be too rude. Thanks.
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