• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

I AM their mother.

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

TaraKay

Active Member
TaraKay, do you know what "presumption of paternity" means? It means that since you're still married, that by law, the baby you're carrying RIGHT NOW is legally your husband's child. Do you know how complicated you've made your life by not waiting until you're divorced before getting pregnant (again)?

You have seriously screwed up. If you want to have a snowball's-chance-in-Hades of getting your kids, you need to 1) stop getting pregnant. You are NOT equipped to have any more children. You can't afford them financially nor emotionally. 2) get a lawyer.
Sigh* what about his baby? Does that make her child mine?

I know I'm not perfect. And i cant be anymore sorry bout how naive i am, listening to people, even my own mother who said theyd help, or my ex who said he'd always work with me on parenting and that he understood its not my fault.

I've been extremely mislead and now stuck in a boat without a paddle...

I cant afford a lawyer, and im not trying financially screw over my ex. But, cuz were still legally married... Doesnt that give some leverage on getting help from him? I hate even mentioning that. But my boyfriend and I just got our own place... And I just have no idea what im doing or where to begin. And i feel like everyday that slips by Im making it worse for me and my fight...
 


ajkroy

Member
Sigh* what about his baby? Does that make her child mine?

I know I'm not perfect. And i cant be anymore sorry bout how naive i am, listening to people, even my own mother who said theyd help, or my ex who said he'd always work with me on parenting and that he understood its not my fault.

I've been extremely mislead and now stuck in a boat without a paddle...

I cant afford a lawyer, and im not trying financially screw over my ex. But, cuz were still legally married... Doesnt that give some leverage on getting help from him? I hate even mentioning that. But my boyfriend and I just got our own place... And I just have no idea what im doing or where to begin. And i feel like everyday that slips by Im making it worse for me and my fight...
It's after posts like this that I am reminded that not everyone who CAN make a baby SHOULD.
 

TaraKay

Active Member
TaraKay, do you know what "presumption of paternity" means? It means that since you're still married, that by law, the baby you're carrying RIGHT NOW is legally your husband's child. Do you know how complicated you've made your life by not waiting until you're divorced before getting pregnant (again)?

You have seriously screwed up. If you want to have a snowball's-chance-in-Hades of getting your kids, you need to 1) stop getting pregnant. You are NOT equipped to have any more children. You can't afford them financially nor emotionally. 2) get a lawyer.
My financial problem is getting better. I can afford to have this baby. I dont live off the government like some people who never think twice bout having an extra check or having the government pay their rent for a 3 bedroom house.

Luckily I was born with a good head for morals to work hard and not live off welfare like my adict parents. We (my lover and I) can afford rent and food. Were guna save for a car... And by then ill have had my baby, and can get back to work myself. I'm not a complete loser here... I been working hard on trying to figure out my situation. And now its finally looking up... I'll settle for summers n holidays till we can make a move closer... I just hope thats at least possible. Right?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Sigh* what about his baby? Does that make her child mine?
No - she's not married. But you are. The law assumes that your husband is the father of your child. Because we know the child comes from the mother's body - no one really knows who provided the sperm.

In order for you to "get" some help from him, you'd need to file for child support. And that won't be a given since he has two of the three children. You should really be providing him help.
 

TaraKay

Active Member
It's after posts like this that I am reminded that not everyone who CAN make a baby SHOULD.
Im a very loving caring compassionate mom. And very highly recommended baby sitter. Just cause im not rich and have a little struggle going on doesnt mean im unfit. My mom locking me in a room to shoot up is unfit! And I've only ever wanted to commit suicide cuz of all she has put me through. Ive been mentally stable ever since i have left her 13 yrs ago. A year ago she begged me saying she was clean and would help me... Sorry im a naive morron and wanted that to be true. But i quickly got away again cuz thats not what i want in my life.

Must be nice having fat money aye?
 

TaraKay

Active Member
No - she's not married. But you are. The law assumes that your husband is the father of your child. Because we know the child comes from the mother's body - no one really knows who provided the sperm.

In order for you to "get" some help from him, you'd need to file for child support. And that won't be a given since he has two of the three children. You should really be providing him help.
I definitely understand that. Even agree a bit. Thanks.
 

TaraKay

Active Member
You are unable to care for the children you had and then decided to have another. YOU are not fit for PC based on your own postings.
I decided to have a baby cause my situation is better. And i want my girls back in my life... All we are missing a vehicle cuz we did sell it to get away from a bad neighborhood and got offred a good job in NY. Life isnt easy for everyone all the time. The struggle is minor. And I'm not incapable, unstable, or unfit. I just had a crazy series of unfortunate events.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I decided to have a baby cause my situation is better. And i want my girls back in my life... All we are missing a vehicle cuz we did sell it to get away from a bad neighborhood and got offred a good job in NY. Life isnt easy for everyone all the time. The struggle is minor. And I'm not incapable, unstable, or unfit. I just had a crazy series of unfortunate events.
how much better is it if you are ordered to pay $250 in child support? $500? No.... you are not in a better situation when you can't afford to see your first born children. As for the job in NY -- how many jobs did you apply for in TN before you moved to NY? What if you are ordered to pay ALL transportation costs for your children in TN? Are you better off then -- in addition to paying the Child support? Because from where I am sitting that is what is going to happen.
 

ajkroy

Member
Im a very loving caring compassionate mom. And very highly recommended baby sitter. Just cause im not rich and have a little struggle going on doesnt mean im unfit. My mom locking me in a room to shoot up is unfit! And I've only ever wanted to commit suicide cuz of all she has put me through. Ive been mentally stable ever since i have left her 13 yrs ago. A year ago she begged me saying she was clean and would help me... Sorry im a naive morron and wanted that to be true. But i quickly got away again cuz thats not what i want in my life.

Must be nice having fat money aye?
You do not have a job, you do not have a car, you do not have a husband. Yet, you chose to be pregnant. I understand that *this* situation is an upgrade in your life, but you are not a productive member of society. And since you are likely on state aid, you are actually draining from society. You are even here asking for ways to get the custodial parent of your children to help *you* financially, when you should be the one paying HIM.

You're right. I do make "fat money" now. But I was a single mom for years, and did not receive child support. I went to school full-time while I worked full-time. I would never sit around for months and beg other people to support me. And I certainly wouldn't upset my kids' lives after their other parent stepped up and did it all without any help from me.
 

TaraKay

Active Member
how much better is it if you are ordered to pay $250 in child support? $500? No.... you are not in a better situation when you can't afford to see your first born children. As for the job in NY -- how many jobs did you apply for in TN before you moved to NY? What if you are ordered to pay ALL transportation costs for your children in TN? Are you better off then -- in addition to paying the Child support? Because from where I am sitting that is what is going to happen.
I applied every where and was hired on the spot but, had no way there and no place to live. So taking the job wasnt looking good. Im very presentable person and know how to talk to people. Have great work background, raises, and promotions. Prep cook, green housing, apartment maintenance, and shoveling snow for a contract company. ive paved myself a very well rounded work background. Lots of seasonal work. Few restaurants from Asian cuisine to Polish buffet at Berkots in chicago. And have never been fired. Bosses loved me and positive energy i bring to the work teams. With always a couple of weeks to work for the YMCA camps that I grew up knowing. Making the swim team and getting my life guard and CPR certification. I did anything that got me away from my neglected upbringing. I'll have a job with no problem once I've had this baby. And I'll do just as good there as i did with all my other jobs. I wont have problem paying child support.b
 

TaraKay

Active Member
I applied every where and was hired on the spot but, had no way there and no place to live. So taking the job wasnt looking good. Im very presentable person and know how to talk to people. Have great work background, raises, and promotions. Prep cook, green housing, apartment maintenance, and shoveling snow for a contract company. ive paved myself a very well rounded work background. Lots of seasonal work. Few restaurants from Asian cuisine to Polish buffet at Berkots in chicago. And have never been fired. Bosses loved me and positive energy i bring to the work teams. With always a couple of weeks to work for the YMCA camps that I grew up knowing. Making the swim team and getting my life guard and CPR certification. I did anything that got me away from my neglected upbringing. I'll have a job with no problem once I've had this baby. And I'll do just as good there as i did with all my other jobs. I wont have problem paying child support.b
I
You do not have a job, you do not have a car, you do not have a husband. Yet, you chose to be pregnant. I understand that *this* situation is an upgrade in your life, but you are not a productive member of society. And since you are likely on state aid, you are actually draining from society. You are even here asking for ways to get the custodial parent of your children to help *you* financially, when you should be the one paying HIM.

You're right. I do make "fat money" now. But I was a single mom for years, and did not receive child support. I went to school full-time while I worked full-time. I would never sit around for months and beg other people to support me. And I certainly wouldn't upset my kids' lives after their other parent stepped up and did it all without any help from me.

Youre hilarious. Assume all you want.
Ive never lived off the government a day in my adult life. My work background is amazing. Certified in some medical, and animal behavior and training. I can cook anything from around the world, to remodeling whatever fancy house you live in.

Youre not giving advice. Youre judging and bashing. Get a life. One that doesnt victimize a victim even more. In fact ill save a seat for you next my HUSBAND in court. Go talk to people you can actually relate to and help. Not bash!
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
You do not have a job, you do not have a car, you do not have a husband. Yet, you chose to be pregnant. I understand that *this* situation is an upgrade in your life, but you are not a productive member of society. And since you are likely on state aid, you are actually draining from society. You are even here asking for ways to get the custodial parent of your children to help *you* financially, when you should be the one paying HIM.

You're right. I do make "fat money" now. But I was a single mom for years, and did not receive child support. I went to school full-time while I worked full-time. I would never sit around for months and beg other people to support me. And I certainly wouldn't upset my kids' lives after their other parent stepped up and did it all without any help from me.
Actually, the problem is that she *does* have a husband. Who she met while pregnant with her first child, and married before the child was born. And she's in NY with her lover, while her husband is in TN with her 2 daughters, both OP and her husband have taken on new lovers, OP is pregnant with a love child and husband's lover is expecting as well.

"Fools Rush In" comes to mind...

OP has said nothing about divorce.

Nothing.

I think it's about time she starts thinking about it.
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
I


Youre hilarious. Assume all you want.
Ive never lived off the government a day in my adult life. My work background is amazing. Certified in some medical, and animal behavior and training. I can cook anything from around the world, to remodeling whatever fancy house you live in.

Youre not giving advice. Youre judging and bashing. Get a life. One that doesnt victimize a victim even more. In fact ill save a seat for you next my HUSBAND in court. Go talk to people you can actually relate to and help. Not bash!
You are a victim of your own bad choices -- period. No one made you leave your children. No one made you get knocked up by some guy (who chances are won't be in your life 5 years from now) while you were still married. YOU have made these choices. It's horrible what your parents did; it's nothing short of abusive. But the choices you've made as an adult are ALL on you. So don't play the victim. It doesn't get you anywhere.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
If OP's situation is looking better financially, it isn't because of her. It's because of her bed warmer who is supporting her unemployed butt. I doubt he's going to want to pay her child support obligations when her husband files for it against her. :rolleyes:
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top