Husband gave our Jaguar away

[wt817]

I've been married for 3.5 years. I was the victim in his arrest.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I've been married for 3.5 years. I was the victim in his arrest.

I am glad that USCIS is asking about the arrest.

My impression was that there have been attempts to protect victims of domestic violence if the victim is an immigrant spouse, but if the sponsoring spouse is the victim of domestic violence at the hands of their immigrant spouse - well, that's just the price of having poor judgement, and one best hope that the I-864 isn't enforced. At least, that's what it seemed like when I separated from my abusive ex-spouse.

Do you have an order of protection?

Have you contacted a local domestic violence organization for help? Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence

 

[wt817]

No order of protection. The DV arrest was three years ago. So tomorrow I intend to reach out to a lawyer and to UCSIS regarding his status.

 

[t74]

No order of protection. The DV arrest was three years ago. So tomorrow I intend to reach out to a lawyer and to UCSIS regarding his status.

Best plan at this time ... let us know what happens, please.

 

[stealth2]

Another thing to bear in mind - and discuss with an attorney - is the ease/difficulty of enforcing any orders in his country of origin/return. You may need to prepare yourself for the possibility/likelihood that you will be divorced, but any orders for property settlement (if it involves his paying/repaying any money) will not prove possible unless he returns to the US...

 

[not2cleverRed]

No order of protection. The DV arrest was three years ago. So tomorrow I intend to reach out to a lawyer and to UCSIS regarding his status.

That's a while ago.

Have there been more recent incidents that you have chosen not to report, or did he just change the nature of his abuse?

And yes, I can see how you got into this mess with the Jaguar in the first place. It's part of the dynamic of abuse - trying to "prove" your loving support by doing things that you would not otherwise do.

You really need to get into counseling.

https://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/domestic-violence/

 

[wt817]

There's been some changes. I think I mentioned I just couldn't afford an attorney. Another part of his control/abuse is financial. I have been out of work for 2 years because of my health. So he'd gotten to the point in the last month where he wouldn't give me a penny. And I had about $40 in my account. I filed for disability months ago and was awaiting on a decision.

Saturday night he committed another offense of DV with me as the victim again. He'd initially left the house after the incident. He stayed in another county. So the police were not able to go the house where he is staying to serve him. They said it could be arranged, but it'd be a different process. In the meantime, they told me, if he comes back home to not let him in and call the police so that he is stalled and they can come pick him up. That happened Monday and he'd brought his friend who he'd signed the Jag over to with him to our home when he came. After my husband was arrested, I asked his friend if I could have the keys back. He said no. But he stayed in front of my house. He called the police himself (I don't know why), and they showed up to talk to this friend. The cop told friend since we are married, his friend had to give me the car keys.

Today I awoke to find out my SSD had been accepted and there was an amount I'd never seen in my bank account for 18 months of back pay!! My question now is is he entitled to half of that disability settlement when I now go and file for divorce? That idea scares me as that's my money to move and survive. Thanks in advance!

 

[LdiJ]

There's been some changes. I think I mentioned I just couldn't afford an attorney. Another part of his control/abuse is financial. I have been out of work for 2 years because of my health. So he'd gotten to the point in the last month where he wouldn't give me a penny. And I had about $40 in my account. I filed for disability months ago and was awaiting on a decision.

Saturday night he committed another offense of DV with me as the victim again. He'd initially left the house after the incident. He stayed in another county. So the police were not able to go the house where he is staying to serve him. They said it could be arranged, but it'd be a different process. In the meantime, they told me, if he comes back home to not let him in and call the police so that he is stalled and they can come pick him up. That happened Monday and he'd brought his friend who he'd signed the Jag over to with him to our home when he came. After my husband was arrested, I asked his friend if I could have the keys back. He said no. But he stayed in front of my house. He called the police himself (I don't know why), and they showed up to talk to this friend. The cop told friend since we are married, his friend had to give me the car keys.

Today I awoke to find out my SSD had been accepted and there was an amount I'd never seen in my bank account for 18 months of back pay!! My question now is is he entitled to half of that disability settlement when I now go and file for divorce? That idea scares me as that's my money to move and survive. Thanks in advance!

With it being a disability payment AND there being two domestic violence arrests on his record (and don't you dare back down and refuse to cooperate with the police and the DA) there shouldn't be any chance that he can touch your disability money.

If there is no restraining order against him for the DV, you need to get one today if possible. You also need to file for divorce, immediately.

 

[Ohiogal]

With it being a disability payment AND there being two domestic violence arrests on his record (and don't you dare back down and refuse to cooperate with the police and the DA) there shouldn't be any chance that he can touch your disability money.

If there is no restraining order against him for the DV, you need to get one today if possible. L You also need to file for divorce, immediately.

Not true ... it is marital income

 

[wt817]

So we went to court today for his restraining order hearing. They've extended it indefinitely. But...he said today he has a restraining order against me in a neighboring county (where he's staying). It's clearly without merit and retaliatory. But my question is this. I see online that it was granted Oct 16 (the day after he was served with mine) and I have NOT been served. Is it valid if I've not been served?

 

[LdiJ]

So we went to court today for his restraining order hearing. They've extended it indefinitely. But...he said today he has a restraining order against me in a neighboring county (where he's staying). It's clearly without merit and retaliatory. But my question is this. I see online that it was granted Oct 16 (the day after he was served with mine) and I have NOT been served. Is it valid if I've not been served?

No, its not valid if it hasn't been served. If he never serves you its going to end up being dropped. Just stay out of that county and stay away from him (which you should be doing anyway).

 

[not2cleverRed]

So we went to court today for his restraining order hearing. They've extended it indefinitely. But...he said today he has a restraining order against me in a neighboring county (where he's staying). It's clearly without merit and retaliatory. But my question is this. I see online that it was granted Oct 16 (the day after he was served with mine) and I have NOT been served. Is it valid if I've not been served?

Communicating with you is a violation of the restraining order. Report it.

The most he could have gotten is an ex parte restraining order. You were supposed to be served with that, plus information about when a hearing would be regarding it. Since you have not been served, but you see it online, I suggest you contact that court and get a copy of the restraining order, find out when that hearing is, and plan your legal response.

Whether or not it has been served or is valid is irrelevant for how you should be conducting yourself: you two shouldn't be having contact with each other.

 

[Ohiogal]

Communicating with you is a violation of the restraining order. Report it.

The most he could have gotten is an ex parte restraining order. You were supposed to be served with that, plus information about when a hearing would be regarding it. Since you have not been served, but you see it online, I suggest you contact that court and get a copy of the restraining order, find out when that hearing is, and plan your legal response.

Whether or not it has been served or is valid is irrelevant for how you should be conducting yourself: you two shouldn't be having contact with each other.

If he spoke to her in court or told the judge that in court, it is not a violation of the restraining order.

 

[not2cleverRed]

If he spoke to her in court or told the judge that in court, it is not a violation of the restraining order.

True.

I was thinking it was more along a taunt going in or out.

 

[wt817]

Hi. Me again. We both now have lawyers and he has a no contact order. So my friend reached out to me today to say he's posted this on Facebook: "Does anyone have Wendy's new address? I need it to file for the divorce...."

My attorney said "good for you" when I shared the message and told her I was calling the police. Well, cops said since he was asking for it for a divorce filing it wasn't an arrestable offense.

Does this seem right to anyone? We've always communicated through our attorneys.