8 yr old son sleeping in same bedroom as mother on visitation days

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, gotta chirp in here.....

If you want to bring up what CPS would classify as a adequate living enviornment, it would be one room for 2 children, sex and age appropriate.

WRONG. I work CPS cases constantly and they require minimum standards. Which is not only two children in the room NOR do they prohibit parents from sharing room with the children.

Secondly, as for the living with the parents situation, it doesn't hurt. If the kids have there own room and the family is willing to help them all out, it actually would show a sign of family support. According to your logic, that means someone should risk finding a new bf/gf to help them raise the children and then brag about that persons own stability.

Nope.

My judge did not mind that I am living with my parents cuz I am a construction worker who is attending school to advance and stabalize my career. I had a reason for the move, it was justified, and the judge even told my ex (soon to be...first hearing) "it's not just a home, it's their home" when she sought to get temporary based on her and her boyfriend having a 2 bedroom apt and me moving in with parents due to unemployment and school.

Did you get a job?

 

[Ohiogal]

The standard that he is trying to use is the standard for foster care. It does not apply to this case. So I dont know the poster even brought it up.

Foster care where? Because I know foster care providers that have THREE CHILDREN in one bedroom.

 

[stealth2]

Seriously, forthecause? Your "demands" on behalf of OP are waaaay over the top.

OP, let me tell you something about small living spaces. They may actually be better than large ones. We now live in a nice, 4BR home on 1+ acres. But if you were to ask either of my kids? The best place we ever lived was that little 800 SF, 1BR place on a postage stamp. It's where their best memories are.

 

[Proserpina]

I understand parents and children ploping down on the couch for movie night and fallin asleep. but for the opposite sex (mother & son/ Father & daughter) does not seem appropiate. Nor do the 15 apartment complexes I have called in the las vegas area and asked about sleeping conditions for minor children

Why exactly is this relevant? Do all of these apartment managers have law degrees? How about medical doctorates? You know, generally the things which would actually give their opinions some credibility...should it be relevant at all.

OP you are in danger of being perceived in court as overbearing and controlling and willing to try just about anything to discredit your ex whether it's relevant or not. You mentioned one thing and it was shot down. Only then did you bring up other factors. You're reaching, and this will NOT look good.

 

[Isis1]

Foster care where? Because I know foster care providers that have THREE CHILDREN in one bedroom.

i knew one that had FOUR. two bunkbeds. and let me tell you, that room, couldn't hold much else BUT the bunkbeds.

 

[sometwo]

I know a guy that slept in the same bed as his mom and wet the bed until fourteen. It may not be illegal, but it is damaging to children. That is a boundary issue...but not illegal

I have not read this whole thread just got to this part.


Excuse you but maybe you do not know the facts. Did you know boys are more likely to wet the bed and longer than girls. Did you also know its is NORMAL and many kids wet the bed for long periods of time. Did you also know that it is HEREDITARY in other words if mom or dad wet the bed there's a BIG chance kid will.

My stepson is 11 and still wets the bed. Dr's all say everything is fine with him. He'll outgrow it one day. Maybe you should check up on this (there are lots of sites dealing with this issue) before you try to relate it to that. Your not a doctor or psychologist.

 

[Proserpina]

I have not read this whole thread just got to this part.


Excuse you but maybe you do not know the facts. Did you know boys are more likely to wet the bed and longer than girls. Did you also know its is NORMAL and many kids wet the bed for long periods of time.

Did YOU know that it is NOT always normal? That it CAN be an indication of several serious physical and psychiatric disorders?

YOU aren't a doctor or psychiatrist either - if you're going to point out that someone should check their facts you need to do the same thing.

 

[sometwo]

Did YOU know that it is NOT always normal? That it CAN be an indication of several serious physical and psychiatric disorders?

of course its not "always" nomal. Everything is not always black and white but to say its because of a problem is wrong. Many many kids wet the bed and its not a big deal like some would think. The poster could not make an assumption like that. I was just pointing out that kids wetting the bed is not always a problem but can be normal.

 

[Proserpina]

of course its not "always" nomal. Everything is not always black and white but to say its because of a problem is wrong. Many many kids wet the bed and its not a big deal like some would think. The poster could not make an assumption like that. I was just pointing out that kids wetting the bed is not always a problem but can be normal.

That was my point. Your post did strongly suggest an absolute - s'all.

(and now I'm completely confused because quite honestly I can't remember who posted what, when, what it said and heck I'm not even sure it's Thursday here )

 

[stealth2]

And again, OP never said that the kiddo is wetting the bed OR that he's sleeping in the same bed as Mom! SO why are we throwing in all of these irrelevant hypotheticals?

 

[Proserpina]

And again, OP never said that the kiddo is wetting the bed OR that he's sleeping in the same bed as Mom! SO why are we throwing in all of these irrelevant hypotheticals?

Because I'm a shameless pedant?

S'about the only honest reason I can come up with...

 

[stealth2]

Nah. It's because some posters can't be bothered to read (let alone comprehend) and just have to throw irrelevancies into the mix. Why yes, moldable and sometwo, I'm looking at you. Seriously - try letting more than one brain cell fire at a time, eh?

 

[peabuddy]

It seems to me that alot of the posts here contain thoughts that I am trying to be selfish, overbearing, controling, and dicredit or in other ways show that my soon to be is a bad parent.


I asked only if a mother and a son sleeping in the same room was leagal or not. Also I mentioned that I was considering asking for temp physical.

You mentioned one thing and it was shot down. Only then did you bring up other factors. You're reaching, and this will NOT look good.

When he realized that was just plain idiotic he moved on to other allegations that NO he cant prove.

When Dog asked on what grounds, I did not move on to or bring up those factors because I relized the sleeping arrangements was idiotic. It was the first reply. I simply answered the question.

I have had concern for the wellbeing of our child when he is in her care from the start. The last thing I wanted to do to a (then)7yr old is keep him from his mother. After multiple instances my concern has grown larger and larger.

I would hope ANY parent would want to have the ability to change or moderate what they feel is negatively impacting thier child.

It looks like it is not illeagal for parents and thier opposite sex child to share a room. The relevence of the apt complexes were to show that most do not permit it, so it would seem to be wrong.

That doesn't change me thinking it would be more positive for our son to have his own room, bed and space for his clothes and toys, not cramming it all in her room.

As for proof of her letting our 8yr old (not 11/12) travel 4blocks (not our street and the adjoining; no further) to a city park, swim alone, and being off her meds is something I do not have.
I suppose I would have to be there with video camera in hand to prove it happened.
I feel this is Jeopardizing to our son.

Can I prove that she is purposely underemployed?
I do know coworkers of hers that have stated to me she was offered full time, and opted out for what ever reason.

It seems that the valid factor here is that she DOES have an erratic work schedule. Each week is different days off and scheduled hours. I have had the same days off for the past 2yrs, as well as a consistant shift 8-4p.
because of this her time with our son is sparce and incosistant, which should so a instability to care for him.

As a child from a broken home, my mom worked 2 jobs to provide for us as well as some of you mothers here in this thread. It's what she had to do. She always made sure when we lived somewhere (postage stamp or 1+ acre) my brother, sister and I had our own rooms. She would working most of the time an a sitter was looking after us. I can tell you it impacted the three of us negatively to have a sitter most of the time. we didn't understand why mom was always working and not playing with us. she didn't have the help of my father, he wanted nothing to do with us. If a woman in the 70's with three kids can provide seperate beds and rooms, I would think a clearhead woman in the 21st century can do the same. For what ever reasons I see it that she chooses not to with this for our child and that upsets me as a father who is very much dedicated to our sons' wellbeing.

I would like to have primary custody of our son. I see that a court may or may not agree with me based on the discussion here. Obviously not being a lawyer, or medical professional I have seeked out advise. Thank you for all of yours

 

[Just Blue]

The bottom line is that it is NOT illegal. There may be restrictions in Public Housing or Section Eight housing on bedroom to resident GUIDELINES, but sonny sleeping on a air-bed in Mom's room is not illegal. Period.

 

[Proserpina]

It seems to me that alot of the posts here contain thoughts that I am trying to be selfish, overbearing, controling, and dicredit or in other ways show that my soon to be is a bad parent.

That's unfortunately how it's coming across.

I asked only if a mother and a son sleeping in the same room was leagal or not. Also I mentioned that I was considering asking for temp physical.

And you were answered.

I have had concern for the wellbeing of our child when he is in her care from the start. The last thing I wanted to do to a (then)7yr old is keep him from his mother. After multiple instances my concern has grown larger and larger.

I would hope ANY parent would want to have the ability to change or moderate what they feel is negatively impacting thier child.

Any parent does usually have that ability....but you need PROOF that the current situation is detrimental to the child. You have not done that so far.

It looks like it is not illeagal for parents and thier opposite sex child to share a room. The relevence of the apt complexes were to show that most do not permit it, so it would seem to be wrong.

How exactly does an apartment complex know the sleeping arrangements of any given family, btw?

That doesn't change me thinking it would be more positive for our son to have his own room, bed and space for his clothes and toys, not cramming it all in her room.

You're entitled to think that. But Mom doesn't have to agree with you.

As for proof of her letting our 8yr old (not 11/12) travel 4blocks (not our street and the adjoining; no further) to a city park, swim alone, and being off her meds is something I do not have.
I suppose I would have to be there with video camera in hand to prove it happened.
I feel this is Jeopardizing to our son.

You need proof.

Can I prove that she is purposely underemployed?
I do know coworkers of hers that have stated to me she was offered full time, and opted out for what ever reason.

How do they know? What evidence is there of this?

It seems that the valid factor here is that she DOES have an erratic work schedule. Each week is different days off and scheduled hours. I have had the same days off for the past 2yrs, as well as a consistant shift 8-4p.
because of this her time with our son is sparce and incosistant, which should so a instability to care for him.

Literally thousands of parents have erratic work schedules....heck my father worked four different shifts every month.

As a child from a broken home, my mom worked 2 jobs to provide for us as well as some of you mothers here in this thread. It's what she had to do. She always made sure when we lived somewhere (postage stamp or 1+ acre) my brother, sister and I had our own rooms. She would working most of the time an a sitter was looking after us. I can tell you it impacted the three of us negatively to have a sitter most of the time. we didn't understand why mom was always working and not playing with us. she didn't have the help of my father, he wanted nothing to do with us. If a woman in the 70's with three kids can provide seperate beds and rooms, I would think a clearhead woman in the 21st century can do the same. For what ever reasons I see it that she chooses not to with this for our child and that upsets me as a father who is very much dedicated to our sons' wellbeing.

Again your reasons are only your opinion - you are allowed to disagree with Mom, and vice versa. She is allowed to parent her child the way she sees fit - as are you.

I would like to have primary custody of our son. I see that a court may or may not agree with me based on the discussion here. Obviously not being a lawyer, or medical professional I have seeked out advise. Thank you for all of yours

I honestly recommend you seek an attorney - frankly I don't believe there is enough here to support your claims.