Bio dad passed away, someone else listed as father on BC

[animachristi]

He just turned 4. I think I can start showing him pictures and explaining things a little at a time.

Our dog recently passed away and that has opened up the concept of death for him.

 

[animachristi]

Then how could you ever think this would "protect" the child? I am truly confused. You don't need to answer me, but I suggest you have a damned good explanation for kiddo, because he's going to have the same question I do.

Because it bought us time. Bio dad could have still fought in court. He was unhinged enough, my gut told me something was going to happen to him. Unfortunately, he did pass away.

 

[Just Blue]

He just turned 4. I think I can start showing him pictures and explaining things a little at a time.

I would STRONGLY advise you to have a child psychologist involved with this.

 

[Zigner]

Because it bought us time. Bio dad could have still fought in court. He was unhinged enough, my gut told me something was going to happen to him. Unfortunately, he did pass away.

As was pointed out previously, there were numerous other less drastic things you could have done that would not have resulted in you lying about your child's parentage. That's not meant as an insult or a judgment, it's simply a statement of fact.

 

[animachristi]

As was pointed out previously, there were numerous other less drastic things you could have done that would not have resulted in you lying about your child's parentage. That's not meant as an insult or a judgment, it's simply a statement of fact.

I don't doubt that is true. When he started threatening he knew people in the prison system, as well as lawyers, that would make it to where I'd never see my son again... I reacted severely. He went months with zero contact, and then all of the sudden hit me with the craziest threats.

 

[animachristi]

I don't doubt that is true. When he started threatening he knew people in the prison system, as well as lawyers, that would make it to where I'd never see my son again... I reacted severely. He went months with zero contact, and then all of the sudden hit me with the craziest threats.

Btw, he had my phone number and address. He knew where I worked. I left communication open for him, hoping that he would be able to have a relationship with his son. That changed when it was apparent he was losing his mind.

 

[animachristi]

Look, the guy is dead. And personally, I don't know anyone with a functioning time machine. So, moving forward, I suggest you meet with a lawyer and discuss what can be done in your situation.

Even if the biological father were on the birth certificate, at this point, with him being dead, your husband could do a step-parent adoption.

I don't know if it would make any legal sense to disestablish your husband's paternity so that he could legally adopt your son. I don't know that a court would even think it in the child's best interest at this point to disestablish paternity, given his age and the lack of a living father to establish paternity with.

Absent a court order, you are under no obligation to consent to a DNA test.

So, meet with an atty and get this clarified, and take care of what needs taking care of.

After you get everything straightened out, toss together a will detailing what your wishes are for guardianship, should something happen to you.

Thank you. Advice I can use! It seems obvious, but sometimes it's hard to move forward. I guess I secretly wanted to be crucified on a forum first. Thank you for your honest response.

 

[stealth2]

He just turned 4. I think I can start showing him pictures and explaining things a little at a time.

My former neighbors have two adopted children. They never needed to discover "a little at a time" that these two people were not their bio parents. It was simply a fact.

 

[animachristi]

Very good point. Thank you.