Grandmas husband trying to put her in a home!

[Just Blue]

It’s always the same profiles on here talking nasty stuff to people tag teaming on them. No heart.

You were offered help and were rude to the attorney volunteer. When I first came here 15+ years ago I was given a "harsh" reality to my question. You know what I didn't do? Berate/insult the volunteer who advised me. He was right even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear or stated in a way I liked.

Ohiogal cautioned you for good reason...If your mother is arrested and ends up with a RO against her, she won't be in a position to help her mother. You are too rude, immature and with an inflated sense of entitlement to see the value of Ohiogals posting.

 

[Just Blue]

How old are you dude. Grow some.

"Grow some"? What, pray tell, am I supposed to "grow"?

 

[stealth2]

Sigh... You & Mom may want to tread carefully as Grandma's husband holds the cards here. Nice or not, fair or not - that's the reality. And it really sounds as though Grandma may not really be competent to make important decisions. I know I wish I'd acted sooner wrt my own Mom, but sometimes we have to roll with the cards we're dealt and how we play them.

 

[Ilynat]

You were offered help and were rude to the attorney volunteer. When I first came here 15+ years ago I was given a "harsh" reality to my question. You know what I didn't do? Berate/insult the volunteer who advised me. He was right even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear or stated in a way I liked.

Ohiogal cautioned you for good reason...If your mother is arrested and ends up with a RO against her, she won't be in a position to help her mother. You are too rude, immature and with an inflated sense of entitlement to see the value of Ohiogals posting.

Ok.

 

[Ilynat]

Sigh... You & Mom may want to tread carefully as Grandma's husband holds the cards here. Nice or not, fair or not - that's the reality. And it really sounds as though Grandma may not really be competent to make important decisions. I know I wish I'd acted sooner wrt my own Mom, but sometimes we have to roll with the cards we're dealt and how we play them.

Yes sadly. The messed up part is my grandma was in the process of all of this she wanted to protect herself from him. It’s sad you can’t even spend your sick days in your own home with your children. Like literally we’re not asking him for anything.

have you went thru something similar?

 

[Ohiogal]

My grandma has already told us she does not want to be in a home though can we record her telling us that can we take her to get a poa. There has to be something we can do literally he has ruined her whole life she has suffered because of him.
We’ve tried that already I’ve taken my grandma to the police station I’ve called social services so many times. She has a drs appointment tmrw and the dr wants to talk to my mom because her husband went over there to tell them he wants to put her in a home. Showing them the secretly recorded videos of my mom taking care of my grandma.

for being a professional attorney she has no heart. I don’t expect much though I worked in an office and all of them were just money hungry nasty people.

You come across as ignorant. You also have no say in this. If your grandmother has a head injury, it is very likely she is not competent to sign anything. You know nothing by the way.

 

[stealth2]

Yes sadly. The messed up part is my grandma was in the process of all of this she wanted to protect herself from him. It’s sad you can’t even spend your sick days in your own home with your children. Like literally we’re not asking him for anything.

have you went thru something similar?

Similar enough, I suppose. I currently care for my mother with dementia. My brother handles all of her finances, which she/Dad decided on years ago and she's expressed a desire to change that, but ... She has lucid days, but if I'm honest, she is not legally competent. And I have no doubt he'd have her declared so in a heartbeat if it were to his advantage. So I trudge along, keep my head down, and do my best to ignore him.

 

[not2cleverRed]

We don’t know if he hits her my grandma has a bad head injury from a hit. He always verbally abuses my grandma leaves her in her pee let’s her fall off the bed!

If you suspect that your grandmother is a victim of abuse or elder abuse, then report it.

Adult Protective Services
Report Elder Abuse or Neglect

Heed stealth and OG's advice.

 

[Ilynat]

You come across as ignorant. You also have no say in this. If your grandmother has a head injury, it is very likely she is not competent to sign anything. You know nothing by the way.

I can say the same for you. You guys are always on here trying to bully ppl. Not here.

 

[Ilynat]

Similar enough, I suppose. I currently care for my mother with dementia. My brother handles all of her finances, which she/Dad decided on years ago and she's expressed a desire to change that, but ... She has lucid days, but if I'm honest, she is not legally competent. And I have no doubt he'd have her declared so in a heartbeat if it were to his advantage. So I trudge along, keep my head down, and do my best to ignore him.

I’m sorry for that. I hope things get better for you. Some people can be so heartless. Money can also make ppl do crazy things.

 

[Ilynat]

If you suspect that your grandmother is a victim of abuse or elder abuse, then report it.

Adult Protective Services
Report Elder Abuse or Neglect

Heed stealth and OG's advice.

Thank you. I already did. I have to wait 1-6 days for social worker to get in contact with us.

 

[stealth2]

I can say the same for you. You guys are always on here trying to bully ppl. Not here.

You're wrong.

 

[Just Blue]

I can say the same for you. You guys are always on here trying to bully ppl. Not here.

Really? And you have observed this in the whopping 24 hours that you have been a member? How many threads have you read to come to this conclusion?

 

[zddoodah]

How can I protect my family my grandmas moocher husband is trying to put her in a home because she’s sick and doesn’t want to take care of her.

Protect your family? In what way is anyone in your family (with the possible exception of your grandmother) in need of protection?

Regardless of how you answer that, the only possible things you can do about your grandmother's situation are (1) contact elder abuse authorities in your grandmother's county of residence, and (2) seek to establish a conseravorship over your grandmother. If you want to go with option #2, you'll need to consult with an attorney.

Out of curiosity, if your grandmother agrees with you, why doesn't she hire an attorney to file for divorce and seek a restraining order to get her husband out of the house? Is the house in her name only or both of their names jointly?

My mom pushed his shoulder the other day because we are all honestly so tired of him and he called police playing the victim.

Well...what you described is assault/battery, and he was the victim. So what's the problem with this?

Can we make her sign something that she does not want to be in a home?

You want to "make" (i.e., force) her to sign something? Isn't that charming? You can ask her to sign anything you like, but the decision to do so or not to do so is entirely hers.

can we record her telling us that can we take her to get a poa.

No one here has the slightest idea what abilities you have.

I’ve taken my grandma to the police station I’ve called social services so many times.

And they've done nothing? If that's the case, then maybe there's nothing to be done here and your allegations to the contrary don't withstand scrutiny. I make this point because we are all complete strangers to the situation. We don't know who's right and who's wrong. Just because you've made allegations doesn't mean we must blindly assume them to be true. When you add that objective authorities are doing nothing in response to your allegations, that strongly suggests that things are not as bad as you allege.

 

[Ohiogal]

I can say the same for you. You guys are always on here trying to bully ppl. Not here.

I am not bullying anyone. I stated facts. You had a tantrum like a toddler. More facts. That makes you appear ignorant (which means you don't know) so why don't you educate yourself? If you choose not to educate yourself, that makes you stupid. But hey, keep doing you and don't grow and learn. Be stagnant. You are lucky your mother was not arrested.