Is joint legal custody for real?

[daddenied]

While I wasn't able to help you, I did follow your threads. I wanted to wish you luck!!! Bring us back some good news!! Good Luck, I will keep my fingers crossed and you in my prayers!

Hello Rushia. I'm daddenieds girlfriend and he just called me from school telling me to check his thread and I read this and wanted to tell you and everyone else how grateful we are for the people on this forum who have helped him tremendously, especially Miss Met and Casa. We appreciate your prayers and all of your good wishes...we have good friends and family members who have fasted and prayed with us today. So, hopefully we will be sharing good news with you all when we get back. He just wants to see his sons and I just want him to be happy.

 

[daddenied]

GOOD NEWS, but a few setbacks

Hey everyone. I just got in from a very long day, but really wanted to get on and tell you what happened. First, the paralegal who has been helping me called me an hour before court to tell me that her runner took my paperwork on Monday and was told that my signature could not be accepted as it was not original. My girlfriend had been worried about that. Anyway, she told me that I could still file it and get to my hearing. Of course, I was confused, but did what she suggested anyway. I went to the court room at 1pm and my girlfriend took the declaration to the clerk to file and brought the copies down to the court room. She gave my ex a copy and then we waited. In fact, we were not called until #20, the last couple to be heard. By that time, the judge pro tem was tired and I knew before even taking my seat he would not allow me to say anything more except what was on my original motion...I asked to simply change the agency from CYS to the one I found and name the therapist as the one I've been seeing. By the way, he refused to accept a copy of my declaration saying it was too late and wouldn't hear me when I attempted to explain, but I knew better and just shut up. He was so tired, he seemed to be hovered over the bench yawning. This is how it basically went...

The judge said, while looking at the paperwork in the file, "CYS doesn't give services on Saturdays." I said "Yes, they don't." He said, "Well, we have to find a therapist or agency that does." I said "Your honor, I found one." He said "Oh, what's his name?" I gave him the name and he said "Oh, yes, I know him...he's been in our community for years. How do you spell his name?" I spelled it for him that attempted to start to state my case, addressing each of my ex's statements when he stopped me and said, "it's okay" put his hand up to quiet me I assumed and spoke directly to my ex. He said, "Since CYS doesn't give Sat. services, I don't have a problem substituting Mr. (therapist name) for CYS." She stared to say, "Your honor, he would not call me and violated the (outdated citation she used in her response) and Respondent told me to stop harrassing his therapist" The judge shook his head and said he did not have to speak with her, but if it made her feel better he would grant my request and also add in the minute order that Mr. (therapist name) would reasonably cooperate and communicate with mother. I didn't really know what that meant, but thought it didn't matter...I got what I asked for. With that said, the judge said the July 1st order would be modified to name my therapist as the provider and that was it. When I attempted to ask if I could say something, he cut me off and said no before I could really speak. I knew better than to speak. That was it...that is how it went down. I was VERY pleased. Our prayers were answered and I can't wait to see my sons on Saturday.

Oh, by the way, before the judge made the modification to the order, my ex did say, "Your honor, our oldest son has been in counseling due to past incidents for THREE years now, and I think CYS can better service them because Mr. (my therapists name) has only been an LMFT for 2 years and he doesn't have enough experience." The judge said, "I know who he is...he's been around doing what he's doing for many years". I had no idea why my ex even said that, as I know one of the therapist who confirmed she could not give Sat. services said that 10 years ago he was her intern. ???? I was also shocked (why, I don't know ) at her huge lie! Although the therapist who saw our oldest child without my permission has refused to send me anything, I did get that original letter in June 2005 saying that she treated him 22 sessions from Apr. 2003 to Apr. 2004. How my ex decided to say 3 years is crazy!!! I couldn't help, but laugh. Anyway, the judge didn't reply and her last attempt at trying to pull one over on the judge was to say, "the judge pro tem at our last hearing ordered Sat. sessions only for August. Our children are all in athletics and they travel a lot on the weekends and do our visits all have to be on Saturdays or can they be excused?" The judge said "I'm not going to deal with that...you 2 should work it out. Then he ordered the modification. My girlfriend and I were speaking on our way home and she was reading the minute order which she pointed out said "All prior orders not modified are to remain in full force and effect".

Well...I sure was glad the judge didn't hear what she was trying to do...modify the dates already set on the July 1st CO. The CO from July 1st specifically states Aug. 13th and EVERY Saturday after the children came back from their trip to her parents. So, I think she was just trying to be slick. So, thank you again so much...all of you for your help in everything. I will be able to suggest to the mediator in November that my ex enroll in the CYS parenting program I thought I would be able to request today (The FLF attorney said the mediation will still be set for the 1st or 2nd week of November.) I will complete the PACT seminar before then.

Now, for the challenge I did not expect. The paralegal who called me today told me that when she originally went to file the contempt paperwork, the clerk told her the same thing the FLF attorney told me...Fresno frowns on contempt motions prior to enforcement motions. We had not heard back from her with the court date for the contempt motion, but because my girlfriend and I were just relieved we had someone helping us for nothing...she said she would help us at no cost to us (a blessing we acknowledge). So, we figured we would talk to her when we went up today and pick up what we needed. So, she went on to tell me that we have to file a motion to enforce, BUT when we spoke to the FLF office 5 minutes until closing they said that because the contempt motion has to do with violations of visitation, the courts will not consider it, because the order from Dec. 2002 (our divorce date) was superceded by the July 1st CO and the judges will not look too kindly on my bringing a litigious filing and motion to waste their time. So, now I am frustrated. The FLF office said they would not help me fill out motion to enforce, because she currently is not violating the current custody and visitation order...I explained all the non information for sports and school, medical, etc...but then I was told they were closed and to either come back in during regular business hours or call them on Mondays from 8am and on to schedule an appt with them for 2-3 weeks later.

In short, I felt really good and decided to drive home and not fret about it until tomorrow. I'm tired and I work in the morning so will either talk to you all tomorrow or have my girlfriend check. I see today as a victory although other challenged came about. Good night.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
For all the frustration, it looks like even this judge saw through her.
If you filed the response to her response before court, it should be a part of the record although the judge doesn't have to consider it, it all depends on what happened. The judges energy level should not affect their rulings.
Please go to
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html
CALIFORNIA CODES
CODE OF CIVIL PROCEDURE
SECTION 469-475
If you discover a need to file based on what happened yesterday, it is significant that her response was late, but apparently the judge ruled based on your original motion. Be sure to provide it to the mediator propr to mediation in addition to any other required or significant documents, declarations.

It is very significant that the judge said you have to work things out together.

When is your next therapy appointment?

Be sure to advise your therapist of the events in advance and the courts order to allow therapist to communicate with your ex, This communication may be very limited re your therapy, but since she wants a thorough intake, let her have her wish! lol! Info re your therapy is protected, so their communication can be about the assessment and intake process and at the discertion of the therapist, hopefully he will have records of your son's therapy soon.

Be sure to fax/send a copy of the court's order to your son's therapist and ask that she send a copy of the file to the COURT ordered therapist immediately! Get a subpoena if needed.

Were there ever any orderes canceling your visitation, limiting telephone communication or joint legal custody as opposed to the therapeutic supervised visitation in addition to your regular visitation? If not, you may be able to have more time with your children, the court did not change the orders that existed and if they did, you can file under the above section to correct. Apparently the original schedule is ordered, so there will be fewer sessions for the children. It is good that you will have the other parenting program completed before mediation.

As to the contempt filings, the judge told you to file on July 1, 2005, so take a copy of your filing amend it to be current separating the older which were the original contempt from the newer issues which wil have the motion to enforce, be sure that you have an originally signed copy and also include with it the court's order that all existing orders stand. Cite CA CCP sections mentioned above re the inadvertant omission of your attorney to file prior to July and the courts order as your basis for filing. Place it in the 4th floor drop box next time you are in Fresno.

Contact mom to confirm the next therapy appointment and remind her the judge ordered bith of you to cooporate, remember she has seen and read your response and will be mad as a wet hen! SHe may notunderstand yet that hse lost. Try to contact the children by phone in a reasonable manner as determined by your comunication with mom.

As to mom's argument that CYS is better equiped to do therapy, your therapist is licensed, licensed longer than the clinical supervisor at CYS and their unlicensed perosn running their therapy programs!

Good thing the Judge knew your therapist.

 

[casa]

Hey everyone. I just got in from a very long day, but really wanted to get on and tell you what happened. First, the paralegal who has been helping me called me an hour before court to tell me that her runner took my paperwork on Monday and was told that my signature could not be accepted as it was not original. My girlfriend had been worried about that. Anyway, she told me that I could still file it and get to my hearing. Of course, I was confused, but did what she suggested anyway. I went to the court room at 1pm and my girlfriend took the declaration to the clerk to file and brought the copies down to the court room. She gave my ex a copy and then we waited. In fact, we were not called until #20, the last couple to be heard. By that time, the judge pro tem was tired and I knew before even taking my seat he would not allow me to say anything more except what was on my original motion...I asked to simply change the agency from CYS to the one I found and name the therapist as the one I've been seeing. By the way, he refused to accept a copy of my declaration saying it was too late and wouldn't hear me when I attempted to explain, but I knew better and just shut up. He was so tired, he seemed to be hovered over the bench yawning. This is how it basically went...

The judge said, while looking at the paperwork in the file, "CYS doesn't give services on Saturdays." I said "Yes, they don't." He said, "Well, we have to find a therapist or agency that does." I said "Your honor, I found one." He said "Oh, what's his name?" I gave him the name and he said "Oh, yes, I know him...he's been in our community for years. How do you spell his name?" I spelled it for him that attempted to start to state my case, addressing each of my ex's statements when he stopped me and said, "it's okay" put his hand up to quiet me I assumed and spoke directly to my ex. He said, "Since CYS doesn't give Sat. services, I don't have a problem substituting Mr. (therapist name) for CYS." She stared to say, "Your honor, he would not call me and violated the (outdated citation she used in her response) and Respondent told me to stop harrassing his therapist" The judge shook his head and said he did not have to speak with her, but if it made her feel better he would grant my request and also add in the minute order that Mr. (therapist name) would reasonably cooperate and communicate with mother. I didn't really know what that meant, but thought it didn't matter...I got what I asked for. With that said, the judge said the July 1st order would be modified to name my therapist as the provider and that was it. When I attempted to ask if I could say something, he cut me off and said no before I could really speak. I knew better than to speak. That was it...that is how it went down. I was VERY pleased. Our prayers were answered and I can't wait to see my sons on Saturday.

Oh, by the way, before the judge made the modification to the order, my ex did say, "Your honor, our oldest son has been in counseling due to past incidents for THREE years now, and I think CYS can better service them because Mr. (my therapists name) has only been an LMFT for 2 years and he doesn't have enough experience." The judge said, "I know who he is...he's been around doing what he's doing for many years". I had no idea why my ex even said that, as I know one of the therapist who confirmed she could not give Sat. services said that 10 years ago he was her intern. ???? I was also shocked (why, I don't know ) at her huge lie! Although the therapist who saw our oldest child without my permission has refused to send me anything, I did get that original letter in June 2005 saying that she treated him 22 sessions from Apr. 2003 to Apr. 2004. How my ex decided to say 3 years is crazy!!! I couldn't help, but laugh. Anyway, the judge didn't reply and her last attempt at trying to pull one over on the judge was to say, "the judge pro tem at our last hearing ordered Sat. sessions only for August. Our children are all in athletics and they travel a lot on the weekends and do our visits all have to be on Saturdays or can they be excused?" The judge said "I'm not going to deal with that...you 2 should work it out. Then he ordered the modification. My girlfriend and I were speaking on our way home and she was reading the minute order which she pointed out said "All prior orders not modified are to remain in full force and effect".

Well...I sure was glad the judge didn't hear what she was trying to do...modify the dates already set on the July 1st CO. The CO from July 1st specifically states Aug. 13th and EVERY Saturday after the children came back from their trip to her parents. So, I think she was just trying to be slick. So, thank you again so much...all of you for your help in everything. I will be able to suggest to the mediator in November that my ex enroll in the CYS parenting program I thought I would be able to request today (The FLF attorney said the mediation will still be set for the 1st or 2nd week of November.) I will complete the PACT seminar before then.

Now, for the challenge I did not expect. The paralegal who called me today told me that when she originally went to file the contempt paperwork, the clerk told her the same thing the FLF attorney told me...Fresno frowns on contempt motions prior to enforcement motions. We had not heard back from her with the court date for the contempt motion, but because my girlfriend and I were just relieved we had someone helping us for nothing...she said she would help us at no cost to us (a blessing we acknowledge). So, we figured we would talk to her when we went up today and pick up what we needed. So, she went on to tell me that we have to file a motion to enforce, BUT when we spoke to the FLF office 5 minutes until closing they said that because the contempt motion has to do with violations of visitation, the courts will not consider it, because the order from Dec. 2002 (our divorce date) was superceded by the July 1st CO and the judges will not look too kindly on my bringing a litigious filing and motion to waste their time. So, now I am frustrated. The FLF office said they would not help me fill out motion to enforce, because she currently is not violating the current custody and visitation order...I explained all the non information for sports and school, medical, etc...but then I was told they were closed and to either come back in during regular business hours or call them on Mondays from 8am and on to schedule an appt with them for 2-3 weeks later.

In short, I felt really good and decided to drive home and not fret about it until tomorrow. I'm tired and I work in the morning so will either talk to you all tomorrow or have my girlfriend check. I see today as a victory although other challenged came about. Good night.

The major battle was won~ You get to see your sons and the judge approved your therapist.

Some of the other issues can't be addressed since you've had these temporary orders, apparently. It's alright though, keep documenting- I believe the X will be in contempt again at some point...she will eventually learn that she doesn't totally control your relationship with the children though.

This is good news...and what a blessing the paralegal is dedicated to helping you out.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The major battle was won~ You get to see your sons and the judge approved your therapist.

Some of the other issues can't be addressed since you've had these temporary orders, apparently. It's alright though, keep documenting- I believe the X will be in contempt again at some point...she will eventually learn that she doesn't totally control your relationship with the children though.

This is good news...and what a blessing the paralegal is dedicated to helping you out.

There sure is a big rip in her sails, after acting so long with impunity, it won't be long before there is more contempt. Too bad that they keep getting different judges. I wouldn't be surprised if somthting doesn't happen before the 1st therapy appointment.

 

[casa]

There sure is a big rip in her sails, after acting so long with impunity, it won't be long before there is more contempt. Too bad that they keep getting different judges. I wouldn't be surprised if somthting doesn't happen before the 1st therapy appointment.

I am thrilled for Dad!

No doubt Mom will continue to try to pull her stunts~ until she is admonished by the court. I'm thinking if Dad keeps on this and documents EVERYHING- he may be looking this situation with his children turning completely around.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I am thrilled for Dad!

No doubt Mom will continue to try to pull her stunts~ until she is admonished by the court. I'm thinking if Dad keeps on this and documents EVERYHING- he may be looking this situation with his children turning completely around.

I suspect once the children have an opportunity to relate what has happened to them and what they have been told, there will indeed be a turn around. These things are sad because they are well planned in advance. The first clue was the move to Fresno when her parents lived out of state, so it was not like having family ties and knowing that dad would agree for the sake of his boys, then one thing lead to another. Fresno is a very dangerous city insofar as crime stats ranked worse than the national everage with only forceable rapes less than the ntl avg. So if mom's excuse was that Fresno was a better city to raise the children or less crime it is quite the oppisite. There is a lot of gang violence in Fresno. In every case even when Long Beach was worse than the national average, Fresno's crime rate exceeded Long Beach. It is difficult to believe that Fresno would have more sports options available for the children than Long Beach nor is it like they moved to CO CO Co, to attend De La Salle HS for football CO CO Co also has better crime stats than Fresno!
Fresno CA Crime Statistics (2002 - New Crime Data)
Crime Type 2002 Total Per 100,000 People National per 100,000 People
Overall Fresno Crime Index X 33909 7648.13 4118.8
Fresno Murders X 42 9.47 5.6
Fresno Forcible Rapes - 158 35.64 33.0
Fresno Robberies X 1479 333.59 145.9
Fresno Aggravated Assaults X 2101 473.88 310.1
Fresno Burglaries X 4476 1009.56 746.2
Fresno Larceny/Thefts X 18478 4167.69 2445.8
Fresno Motor Vehicle Thefts X 7175 1618.31 432.1
Fresno Arsons 707 159.46 N/A

FRESNO STATISTICS
Fresno Population: 427652
Male Population: 210107
Female Population: 217545
Households: 140079
Median Age: 28
Average Household Size: 2.99
Fresno Population
Fresno Crime Level: X

Based on 2002 Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime Reports.
Population data used for crime calculations is based on the Fresno crime collection area and may not match US Census data.

Where as Long Beach is safer than the national everage.

Long Beach CA Crime Statistics (2002 - New Crime Data)
Crime Type 2002 Total Per 100,000 People National per 100,000 People
Overall Long Beach Crime Index - 19303 4034.25 4118.8
Long Beach Murders X 67 14 5.6
Long Beach Forcible Rapes - 144 30.1 33.0
Long Beach Robberies X 1505 314.54 145.9
Long Beach Aggravated Assaults X 1910 399.18 310.1
Long Beach Burglaries - 3405 711.63 746.2
Long Beach Larceny/Thefts - 8530 1782.74 2445.8
Long Beach Motor Vehicle Thefts X 3742 782.06 432.1
Long Beach Arsons 253 52.88 N/A

LONG BEACH STATISTICS
Long Beach Population: 461522
Male Population: 226718
Female Population: 234804
Households: 163088
Median Age: 31
Average Household Size: 2.77
Long Beach Population
Long Beach Crime Level: -

Based on 2002 Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime Reports.
Population data used for crime calculations is based on the Long Beach crime collection area and may not match US Census data.

 

[casa]

I suspect once the children have an opportunity to relate what has happened to them and what they have been told, there will indeed be a turn around. These things are sad because they are well planned in advance. The first clue was the move to Fresno when her parents lived out of state, so it was not like having family ties and knowing that dad would agree for the sake of his boys, then one thing lead to another. Fresno is a very dangerous city insofar as crime stats ranked worse than the national everage with only forceable rapes less than the ntl avg. So if mom's excuse was that Fresno was a better city to raise the children or less crime it is quite the oppisite. There is a lot of gang violence in Fresno. In every case even when Long Beach was worse than the national average, Fresno's crime rate exceeded Long Beach. It is difficult to believe that Fresno would have more sports options available for the children than Long Beach nor is it like they moved to CO CO Co, to attend De La Salle HS for football CO CO Co also has better crime stats than Fresno!
Fresno CA Crime Statistics (2002 - New Crime Data)
Crime Type 2002 Total Per 100,000 People National per 100,000 People
Overall Fresno Crime Index X 33909 7648.13 4118.8
Fresno Murders X 42 9.47 5.6
Fresno Forcible Rapes - 158 35.64 33.0
Fresno Robberies X 1479 333.59 145.9
Fresno Aggravated Assaults X 2101 473.88 310.1
Fresno Burglaries X 4476 1009.56 746.2
Fresno Larceny/Thefts X 18478 4167.69 2445.8
Fresno Motor Vehicle Thefts X 7175 1618.31 432.1
Fresno Arsons 707 159.46 N/A

FRESNO STATISTICS
Fresno Population: 427652
Male Population: 210107
Female Population: 217545
Households: 140079
Median Age: 28
Average Household Size: 2.99
Fresno Population
Fresno Crime Level: X

Based on 2002 Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime Reports.
Population data used for crime calculations is based on the Fresno crime collection area and may not match US Census data.

Where as Long Beach is safer than the national everage.

Long Beach CA Crime Statistics (2002 - New Crime Data)
Crime Type 2002 Total Per 100,000 People National per 100,000 People
Overall Long Beach Crime Index - 19303 4034.25 4118.8
Long Beach Murders X 67 14 5.6
Long Beach Forcible Rapes - 144 30.1 33.0
Long Beach Robberies X 1505 314.54 145.9
Long Beach Aggravated Assaults X 1910 399.18 310.1
Long Beach Burglaries - 3405 711.63 746.2
Long Beach Larceny/Thefts - 8530 1782.74 2445.8
Long Beach Motor Vehicle Thefts X 3742 782.06 432.1
Long Beach Arsons 253 52.88 N/A

LONG BEACH STATISTICS
Long Beach Population: 461522
Male Population: 226718
Female Population: 234804
Households: 163088
Median Age: 31
Average Household Size: 2.77
Long Beach Population
Long Beach Crime Level: -

Based on 2002 Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime Reports.
Population data used for crime calculations is based on the Long Beach crime collection area and may not match US Census data.

Preachin' to the choir...I'm a LB Native

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Preachin' to the choir...I'm a LB Native

I'm rom N Ca, and I can't immagine moving from L B to Fresno, but I can picture mom extolling the virtues of Fresno and how safe it is and what a wonderful place to raise children. lol!

 

[casa]

I'm rom N Ca, and I can't immagine moving from L B to Fresno, but I can picture mom extolling the virtues of Fresno and how safe it is and what a wonderful place to raise children. lol!

LOL Right!?

 

[Rushia]

Congrats!!! It's good to hear that you will finally be able to see your sons!!!

 

[daddenied]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
For all the frustration, it looks like even this judge saw through her.
If you filed the response to her response before court, it should be a part of the record although the judge doesn't have to consider it, it all depends on what happened.

I hope we didn't mess up. My girlfriend filed it and actually served my ex in person prior to the hearing time. Later we wondered if that was okay to do. Oh well...too late now to be worried. I'm glad it is on record though.

If you discover a need to file based on what happened yesterday, it is significant that her response was late, but apparently the judge ruled based on your original motion. Be sure to provide it to the mediator propr to mediation in addition to any other required or significant documents, declarations.

When I see the mediator again which I hope is the 1st or 2nd week of Novemebr, I will give her a copy of my response to her response right? Should I bring it to mediation or should I send it in advance to the mediator so he or she can actually review it? And, I'm sorry I know you told me before but can't remember...would I be able to request a different mediator than the one we saw in June?

It is very significant that the judge said you have to work things out together.

I thought so too. I was telling my girlfriend that I wonder now if things will get better. Wishful thinking?

When is your next therapy appointment?

This Saturday! It's on the minute order to start this Sat. at 12pm. I can't wait! Yet, I am nervous and worry how much damage has already been done. Did I already tell you all that upon the suggestion of my girlfriend as soon as the hearing was out we drove to my sons' high school and I went to his football practice..the oldest son. At first he didn't seem to want to see me, turning his back to me and all, but when I got there I started talking to him (first time really seeing him since January) I asked how he was and we started talking a little bit. I felt later that a lot of things must contribute to his attitudes, besides the obvious negative influence and alienation caused by my ex. He is on the team, but doesn't play (I was a successful football player in college-Fresno State at that ; the last time we spoke over the phone around Christmas in a conversation we had about athletic skills, I told him there was always someone better than us, etc...after I felt he and his brothers were being cocky and of course his ears heard after speaking to his mom, translated what I said into "Dad said I suck at football"; The entire practice he and a few guys just watched everyone play. I was sad for him. I also feel like his self esteem and confidence is shot. His younger brother stands about 7 inches taller than him-my 2nd son is unusually tall for his age and apparently is taller than Shaq was when Shaq was his age. My girlfriend gave me that piece of trivia. ) Anyway, I was so happy to see him and I spent an hour there while my girlfriend read in the car and we had a wonderful, but tiring drive home.

Be sure to advise your therapist of the events in advance and the courts order to allow therapist to communicate with your ex, This communication may be very limited re your therapy, but since she wants a thorough intake, let her have her wish! lol! Info re your therapy is protected, so their communication can be about the assessment and intake process and at the discertion of the therapist, hopefully he will have records of your son's therapy soon.

I called the therapist yesterday and will actually get to speak to him tomorrow. I want to give him a hug when
I see him on Saturday. I have been so run down and tired. My girlfriend may drive with me to Fresno and she said she would walk the hour I was in session. (She is walking in the Breast Cancer 3 Day-60 miles in Atlanta on the 30th of Sept.) So, I may take her up on that. She said she'd come and help me with the drive if I feel extra tired. At this point and time I don't care if the therapist gives her an assessment...it may just help with our mediation because he is the one who is doing the recommendation regarding my visitation with the children for the next mediation. Again, the July 1st judge pro tem said what comes out of mediation the next time will be the order and we will not have to come before the judge again unless it is for other issues. I have not heard from the therapist who refused me information about our oldest son, but did sign a waiver and release with my therapist for him to get it, so I'm crossing my fingers for that.


Be sure to fax/send a copy of the court's order to your son's therapist and ask that she send a copy of the file to the COURT ordered therapist immediately! Get a subpoena if needed.

I will fax a copy of the court's order to that therapist tomorrow and my therapist already has the July 1st order and on Saturday I will give him a copy of the minute order that only modifies the place for service to his agency and his name.

Were there ever any orderes canceling your visitation, limiting telephone communication or joint legal custody as opposed to the therapeutic supervised visitation in addition to your regular visitation?

I don't believe there was anything ever cancelling my regular visitation, but my girlfriend was saying that she interpreted that July 1st order as although it stated we both still had joint physical and legal custody of the children due to the circumstances the visitations would only be for now during the therapeutic supervised visitation sessions with the therapist unless my ex agrees to other visits (which we already know she won't) But, the judge pro tem said that it would not affect my CS and only after the set visitation is determined in November will the possibility of CS modification be an option. I think I understood that as if things go as planned and I get visitation to where I want it to be, I or my ex can file a motion to modify the CS. ????

If not, you may be able to have more time with your children, the court did not change the orders that existed and if they did, you can file under the above section to correct. Apparently the original schedule is ordered, so there will be fewer sessions for the children. It is good that you will have the other parenting program completed before mediation.

Yes, fewer sessions prior to mediation, but if my therapist wants us to finish out the 12 sessions even after the mediation I don't have a problem with that. My insurance company covers up to 22 a year, so I am alright about it. And, yes the PACT program, I will do in October, the soonest I can get in IF they allow me to. My girlfriend said she called and is waiting to hear from them about my participation. Do you think I can suggest to the mediator since I have gone through counseling and PACT that my ex enroll in that CYS program you suggested?

As to the contempt filings, the judge told you to file on July 1, 2005, so take a copy of your filing amend it to be current separating the older which were the original contempt from the newer issues which wil have the motion to enforce, be sure that you have an originally signed copy and also include with it the court's order that all existing orders stand. Cite CA CCP sections mentioned above re the inadvertant omission of your attorney to file prior to July and the courts order as your basis for filing. Place it in the 4th floor drop box next time you are in Fresno.

I probably won't be able to do that Saturday, but my girlfriend said next week will be a better week, time wise for her to get this done and I will drop it in the drop box the next time I am there for therapy. IF the building is closed the paralegal I spoke to said as long as she has the originals she can do it for me. I'm so grateful for that.

Contact mom to confirm the next therapy appointment and remind her the judge ordered bith of you to cooporate, remember she has seen and read your response and will be mad as a wet hen! SHe may notunderstand yet that hse lost. Try to contact the children by phone in a reasonable manner as determined by your comunication with mom.

I will call her and email her tomorrow. I laugh thinking about some of the things she told the judge yesterday that were not true. At one point she told the judge I emailed her only Friday nights 9:30pm and after giving her information on the sessions. I only email her once a week now for the last 4 weeks I think either Thursday night or early Friday morning, reminding her of the sessions she has refused each time to come to. She truly is an idiot sometimes. I feel sad at what her actions have caused. I'm sure she is ticked

As to mom's argument that CYS is better equiped to do therapy, your therapist is licensed, licensed longer than the clinical supervisor at CYS and their unlicensed perosn running their therapy programs!

Good thing the Judge knew your therapist.

I thought the same thing too. Apparently he stated that my therapist has a great reputation with the courts! I'm so glad!

 

[daddenied]

The major battle was won~ You get to see your sons and the judge approved your therapist.

Some of the other issues can't be addressed since you've had these temporary orders, apparently. It's alright though, keep documenting- I believe the X will be in contempt again at some point...she will eventually learn that she doesn't totally control your relationship with the children though.

This is good news...and what a blessing the paralegal is dedicated to helping you out.

Yes, the major battle WAS won! All I want is to see and spend time with my children. My girlfriend said that she is certain God had a hand in connecting her with this wonderful paralegal. I agreed...what a blessing!!!

 

[daddenied]

I wouldn't be surprised if somthting doesn't happen before the 1st therapy appointment.

I know...I think the same way, but hope not.

 

[daddenied]

I suspect once the children have an opportunity to relate what has happened to them and what they have been told, there will indeed be a turn around. These things are sad because they are well planned in advance. The first clue was the move to Fresno when her parents lived out of state, so it was not like having family ties and knowing that dad would agree for the sake of his boys, then one thing lead to another. Fresno is a very dangerous city insofar as crime stats ranked worse than the national everage with only forceable rapes less than the ntl avg. So if mom's excuse was that Fresno was a better city to raise the children or less crime it is quite the oppisite. There is a lot of gang violence in Fresno. In every case even when Long Beach was worse than the national average, Fresno's crime rate exceeded Long Beach. It is difficult to believe that Fresno would have more sports options available for the children than Long Beach nor is it like they moved to CO CO Co, to attend De La Salle HS for football CO CO Co also has better crime stats than Fresno!

My ex has stated how dangerous Long Beach was. I actually am fortunate enough to live in a very nice area of Long Beach, with the assistance of my church while my finances are in crisis. And, as far as athletics as well as the local high school in my area, the opportunities far surpass Fresno's.