Is joint legal custody for real?

[daddenied]

Quote the actual order, the reasons behind it, the fact that existing orders remain in place and that the report of the mediator was not accepted by the court.

He plans on doing this...when we were there in court on July 1st, the judge pro tem asked him if he agreed with the mediator's recommendation and he said that he did not agree to a few sections. 1. sessions any time his ex scheduled them-the judge pro tem said she thought that was unreasonable and granted his Sat. requests with the exception of one friday in July. 2. He stated he did not agree with his ex choosing the therapist-the judge said okay, but while his ex insisted she already checked out CYS and they would be available Saturdays, the judge did tell him that CYS was a reputable agency and he should check into it. Of course we were shocked when we got the minute order which he swears is written in his ex's handwriting, but I'm thinking maybe he is just paranoid at this point and time. The FLF attorney said that CYS is not specifically listed in the CO, but because the minute order names them than that is why his ex feels empowered to continue to insist on using them. 3. He requested that the sessions be 12 instead of 24 due to the length of time, the distance he is from Fresno as well as the fact that it would go into the holidays if it were 24 weeks-the court agreed with him again telling his ex that she was uncomfortable with the entire recommendation and that she saw 12 sessions enough sessions. She also told the ex that the only time the children would be excused from a Sat. session was if they had actual games they were playing in. We did our research on their schedules before going to court and saw that none of them had games on any scheduled Saturdays. In fact, the only other 2 Sat. that the judge finally relented to have the boys miss was when his ex said they would be visiting her parents out of state and she did not want to disrupt their normal yearly visit routine. The judge pro tem actually told his ex that she did not like the sound ot that-sending their children away to see her parents when they can't even see their father. It was only after my boyfriend said he did not want to ruin their visit to their grandparents that the judge allowed the trip. Although, she specifically told his ex that they were to leave later than scheduled (so they could see him in therapy that Sat.) and they were to return a few days earlier for their scheduled therapy, therefore only having them miss 2 sessions instead of 4. I think those were the things that were objected to...all were granted to him that day. The judge basically agreed with his objections. She also went as far as saying that the mediation would be set for 4 months, the 1st of 2nd week of Nov. and at that time the mediator would receive a report from the therapist and whatever came of the mediation would be the order of the court without them having to stand before the judge again. She also said that whether the 12 sessions were completed or not by November-the mediation date, they would still hold it (especially if it were not my guy's fault that sessions were missed).

While it is easier for your schedule therapeutic visitations on Sat, which would be the normal time of your visitation since she removed the children to Fresno creating the distance. It was upon the specific request of mom that it be on SAT because of the children's and her schedule. Mom had also made comment that the children would not be available for some months due to sports activities of which she failed to inform you, in an attempt to delay visitation. You agreed with this schedule in the belief that it was in the best interest of the children and because you were assured that you would be able to see your children in this context which was grossly and intentionally misrepresented to you and the court, you will recite the evidence.

That's right...everything she said was either half the truth or all lies. We don't understand what she is up to, especially because none of the boys are available MOn-Fri 9-5pm to go to CYS.

According to the CYS site these are the various forms of services available and as noted your children are beyond the scope of therapeutic visitations CYS provides!

I think I already mentioned in a post to Casa that it states ages 2-8 and their children are 10-15.

Thus no choice on your part was involved in making the choice of therapist, there is no bias. The therapist she employed without your knowledge or consent did not follow these outdated guidelines or attempt any assessment at a time when mom claimed the child was suicidal which by law requires specific documentation and notice. The therapist had refused to comply with lawful requests for records and you are requesting the court issue a supoena for the records and that they be sent to the therapist who will be treating.

[I]When I read this I wondered...would the hearing on the 14th be the time to mention this other therapist and having to subpoena the records or is this advice for his contempt motion? We are just worried that the judge may think he is saying too much that has nothing to do with this change of agency motion. And, yes, of course his ex does not follow any sort of rule or law, but is quick to find a citation (she thought) would support her claim. It seems my guy has people who actually know what they are talking about. [/I]

While CYS may be one of the community agencies listed by the court, these are for the most part non profit agencies intended to serve the ecconomically challenged populations not those with private insurance, thus their availability to provide therapeutic visitation is limited. CA Rule of Court 1257.1 addresses bias, nor dies it exclude other competent and qualified licensed therapists in favor of an agency which may employ less qualified unlicensed therapists. One way such agencies provide therapy at a reduced rate is, grants and the utilization of MFC trainees/interns, ASW interns, Psychologist practicum/interns operating under group supervision of a limited number of licensed therapists most of who are administrators and don't see clients, this is why they don't do therapy on Saturdays and why the fees are higher and not covered by insurance. There is no guarentee that the visits will be conducted by anyone with more than a few graduate units of education or even a degree as long as they are supervised.

That is good to know, because this reminded me that he asked the judge that the provider be a licensed MFT and she said that would be fine.

Was there an order for anger management or did she get that off the site because aspects of anger management might be covered in the therapeutic visitaitons? I suggest that you request that she be ordered into anger management 52 sessions based on her contempt of court give the example that the DA office already had to intervene in the past.

This was recommended and he did not object to it and told the judge he would be fine with it as long as he got to choose the anger management therapist and/or agency who would be covered by his insurance carrier.

Be sure to point out that the report of the mediator was not accepted by the court and it's recommendations are not the court's orders. She failed to present the children for any of the scheduled therapeutic appointments and has a history of interfering with visitation, communication and hiding information about the the children. She has contracted for services for the children without your knowledge or consent and gave her address as your address so you would not receive the bills or know about the care, this has adversley affected your credit and is a form of fraud.

I asked a question earlier about mentioning the therapist who saw his son without his permission and now that I read this, I understand that he should mention all of this next week. Yes? Please correct me if I am not understanding you right.

Thanks again for your kindness and all of your help.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

check rmet's post re; the children that CYS is able to accomidate also

That's right, I got that from the web so she would or should have known prior to court that they were not of the age nor qualified for the program, also be sure to clarify the anger management issue, I don't recall you being court ordered into an anger management program, it may have been suggested in the mediation report but that wasn't ordered yet, you may have taken advantage of your time in therapy to address your feelings of frustration, but that is different than a court ordered AM program, which makes it look like you did something wrong.

 

[casa]

Am I totally ignorant and did you explain it in the next paragraph “Thus no choice on your part was involved in making the choice of therapist, there is no bias”?

If you could just help clear this up then I will know how to help him actually write this down and present it next Wed. at the hearing. I do understand enough to know that her citation is outdated and what you posted I think refutes what she has stated in her response.

What that means is that Dad did not choose the therapist. Mom says she gets to 'choose' the therapist- well it's through Dad's insurance, so he doesn't choose- he got who he's assigned to.

Dad can say that since CYS not only does not offer services on the court approved day of Sat. (letter is filed in court file from CYS confirming that), nor do they treat children his children's ages, ...that he contacted his insurance to find an alternative which is covered and was referred to the new proposed therapist.

He did exactly what he should have done.

What I think is wonderful about what you've shared today~ is that the Judge Pro Tem specifically mentioned that if the supervised visits were not completed, mediation would continue as scheduled. The sitting judge in that court needs to HEAR that. Dad needs to voice that, since a Judge Pro Tem is a temp. or stand in and it may be a different judge when he goes back.

The Mediator will see right through Mom. Dad needs to focus on his documents from CYS proving he's researched and attempted to complete supervised visitatio.-
-that he's been denied visitation for 8 months.
- that there is NO history of DV- and that he followed the only available avenue (ins.) in order to find someone TO supervise the visits.
- that he completed the anger management (file that documentation as well).
- Provide a Mapquest print out if need be, to visually demonstrate the extreme difference in commute between Fresno & Dad's home, vs. school & Dad's home.

In CA declarations are allowed from others~ and it wouldn't hurt to write one yourself and file it. Just your observations of his caring and dedication to be a part of his children's lives, the financial and emotional loss you've witnessed as a result of his repeated denial of visitation.

In court you probably won't be asked anything- quiet and unassuming is your best bet. You won't be in Mediation either, but you can certainly accompany him to the office and wait.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Welcome DeniedDad's Girlfriend, thank you for identifying yourself.
I will go back through your posts and break them down into answerable sections. Have patience. And let me say up front that he should fax his response to the paralegal to file with the court in advance so that the response can be in the file before court so the judge can review it. Be sure to include evidence that mom's response was not timely filed and shoe the postmark of the service to denieddad. He is not required to do anything other than file it with the court prior to court but he will have to serve her by mail, of course if it was mailed out late the same day as filed with the court say on Monday, it would arrive on or after the court date It is best to have the paralegal file and serve, be sure to track all expenses and costs. Have at least two complete copies of the response in case she doesn't receive it and in case the copy doesn't make it into the file, have the paralegal fax a copy of the stamped filed copy to you or pick it up in Fresno.

Did DeniedDad get a copy of the transcripts? He printed out a copy of the minute order, but not anyother order? He can file an objection if there is an error under CA CCP 473? I gave him the section before, it is important to make those corrections now and also to object to any order for an anger management program that was a part of the mediators reccommodations, that is totally different than the therapy he is receiving, if would also be good if his therapist would comment on whether or not an anger management program is necessary. It is fine that he used this time since the children were prevented from attending the sessions.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

....I want to apologize for my ignorance, but I see what you said about her citation she qouted being outdated...
That means that it is not relevant and whom ever is advising her is not competent......

BTW, my ex told the mediator that she was scared of me and that the children are too???? Again, NEVER DV or abuse in the past... the mediator (a woman I felt at the time during the mediation was almost in tears herself listening to my ex and watching her Oscar academy portrayal of an abused woman only protecting her children) stated she felt that it would be good for me to have anger management...thus the order of the court. I was upset at first, but went ahead and did it...It's done and I'm glad I went through it because it has helped me realize that a lot of times my anger and disappointment with what is going on with my ex I transfer to my current girlfriend out of frustration. It really has helped me too to realize that my ex is ticked that I am happy with someone else and I agree I will be requesting that she obtain anger management counseling too.

Please specifically cite the court's order for AM program, how many weeks and when was this completed, it is very important that if you actually completed a court ordered AM program that it is clear there never was any domestic and or family violence reported and or documented against her or the children. Her threats and actions could be termed DV

-feeling as if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but don't want to be too sure.

Hang in there, she is out of her league

As noted by Respondent , the Court has ruled that "in the event of a disagreement regarding the selection of a mental health clinician or agency, the mother shall select said provider." Petitioner (mother) has selected CYS, as was adopted by Order of the Court. CYS has an established partnership with the Court and was recommended by the Mediator's Office and advocated by the Family Law Facilitator's Office as one of the very few full-scale child mental health/counseling agencies in the Fresno area.

Mother has chosen an agency-CYS. She told the judge pro tem on July 1st that she had already checked out the agency and they were open on Sat. from 8-8pm and even holidays for this service. But, she did not realize that supervised visitation and therapeutic supervised visitation (which SHE specifically asked for) are two different things. It is not only outlined in CYS’ website description of services offered, but has already been told to both parties by CYS over the telephone, in person for her and more recently in writing from CYS to both parties. (Copy of letter is included in motion) As of Aug. 3rd the Family Law Facilitator’s attorney has stated that she would relay this message to the courts indicating CYS cannot accommodate therapeutic supervised visitations on Saturdays.

Unemotionally present the facts/evidence along with the print out from the CYS site, be sure to use the words, would or should have known when pointing out Mom's intentional misrepresentation to the court and the phrase, in the best interest of the children with the citation Rule 5.210. Court-connected child custody mediation

(a) [Authority] This rule of court is adopted under article VI, section 6 of the California Constitution and Family Code sections 211, 3160, and 3162(a).

(b) [Purpose] This rule sets forth standards of practice and administration for court-connected child custody mediation services that are consistent with the requirements of Family Code section 3161.

(c) [Definitions]

(1) "Best interest of the child" is defined in Family Code section 3011.

when making reference to his actions. It will be very apperant mom
s intentions.

Respondent has filed a Motion to employ (my chosen agency) to facilitate the therapeutic superivsed visitations as ordered by the Court. Petitioner is not agreeable to utilizing (my chosen agency) based upon the agency's apparent lack of awareness and/or adherence to Uniform Standards of Practice Providers of Supervised Visitation set forth in section 26.2 of the California Standards of Judicial Administration Uniform Standards.

In accordace with the requirements of the Uniform Standar4ds, the therapeutic provider is required to: "Conduct a comprehensive intake and screening to assess the nature and degree of risk for each case. The procedures...include separate interviews with parties BEFORE THE FIRST VISIWT." [Section 26.2(d)(2)]

This is the part where I am embarrassed to admit, but both my boyfriend and I are a little confused as we are pretty ignorant to the intricacies of the law in California pertaining to what his ex has said. I read where you say her citation is outdated and understand her as saying that she does not want to use his chosen agency because they have not conducted a “comprehensive intake and screening to assess the nature….” where she specifies “separate interviews with parties BEFORE THE FIRST VISIT”. I also understand that you note that she is NOT a party to the ordered therapeutic supervised visitations, which is true. But, how exactly can my guy word this in court next week-the guidelines that were repealed in 2001? My understanding is that section 26 (which his ex cites) was repealed in 2001 with a new rule 1257.1 right? It’s the next part that I am not understanding.

He can ask that response be stricken as it has been superceeded by CA Rule 1257.1, HIPAA and no intake assessment is required of her as she is not court ordered for therapy nor is she privy to the contents of his therapy. It is appropriate that the therapist not communicate with her at this time.

“The revised standards will better serve the growing number of pro per litigants with increasingly complex and diverse family law disputes and ensure minimum service levels and accountability. The effective date of this rule change has been extended to July 1, 2001, to allow time for each family court services unit to consider the administrative or case management changes it may need and to submit and receive funding for whatever incremental or budget development proposals are indicated”.

This means that the new rule is meant to be more user friendly to litigants without attorneys and who may not have access to all the rules and expectitaitons for therapy or other court orders, it also gives the judge more diecretion.

Am I totally ignorant and did you explain it in the next paragraph “Thus no choice on your part was involved in making the choice of therapist, there is no bias”?
When DeniedDad called his insurance co for a referal, they chose and authorized the therapist who is competent and licensed, there is no bias.

If you could just help clear this up then I will know how to help him actually write this down and present it next Wed. at the hearing. I do understand enough to know that her citation is outdated and what you posted I think refutes what she has stated in her response.

It is important to prepare the responses in writing and submit to court ahead of time and have copies ready at court for mom and the judge if need be.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Oh yes, add to the last section that mom slipped in the words SUPERVISED into therapeutic visitation, trying to get the court to order SUPERVISED visitaiton, a different animal.
Petitioner has made FOUR separate attempts to contact (my chosen agency), specifically (name of the therapist), in an effort to ascertain the scope of his services. (Name of therapist) has REFUSED to return any phone calls and Respondent has warned Petitioner to "stop harrassing his therapist." Petitioner is not willing to engage an agency that does not conform to Judicial Administration Uniform Standards and believes (agency/name of therapist) to be biased and prejudicial to Respondent as his primary client.

The Petitioner was leaving messages asking (therapist’s name) for information regarding the therapy session for my guy and his children. As you noted, he did not respond to her, but told us of her calls and his ex was simply asked to stop harassing the therapist and to bring the children in where he had no problem meeting with her. In fact, the therapist even said when they are almost through with the 12 sessions he would venture to invite the mother into the session-1 or 2 closer to the end. This was also told to his ex, but she of course has refused.

Again, the therapist does not have to communicate with mom, she is not party to the therapy and DeniedDad holds priviledge, to respond to her would be a HIPAA violation. This is harassment and failing to present the children for the ocurt ordered therapy is contempt.


[/QUOTE] Court Order further stipulates: "Any cost of said therapeutic visits shall be paid by the father" [3.03] There is no stipulation that the chosen provider be restricted to an agency that accepts Respondent's insurance. However, it should be noted that the cost of CYS services ($30) is the SAME amount as the Respondent's insurance co-pay, thereby rendering Respondent's insurance/financial contention not relevant.

We are awaiting written correspondence either by email or fax from CYS detailing the costs of visits on their regular scale (IF he was available to have session during the week) as well as the costs with their sliding scale fee (the one that has a 4 month waiting period). We also wanted to note that all the providers listed on the court website:

Treatment and Counseling
Marjaree Mason Center: (559) 233-4357(HELP)
Adult Mental Health: (559) 453-4099
California School of Professional Psychology: (559) 253-2277
Central Valley Indian Health: (559) 299-2634
Children’s Mental Health: (559) 445-3225
Children’s Services Network: (559) 456-1100
Comprehensive Youth Services: (559) 229-3591 (559-229-3561 [email protected])
Northwest Family Crisis Center: (559) 225-3222
Rape Counseling Service: (559) 497-2900
Spirit of Women: (559) 264-59851. Either do not provide therapeutic supervised visitation or
2. Do not provide any Sat. services at all.

We believe his ex is just being plain ugly here, acting as if she does not know that his finances are below poverty level after CS is paid and that he lives on begged, borrowed and gratefully not stolen money. Besides the fact that she is dishonest about the cost. Actually she is correct about the $30 cost for the sliding scale fee with the soonest appointment being in January. [/QUOTE] Now since mom has not presented the children for therapy, never intended to present the children for therapy as ordered by the court and the court expected them to have already completed (?) therapeutic visits, DeniedDad will ask the court to order mom to pay for all visits thus far and all future therapeutic visits and DeniedDad's additional travel costs, this will also be covered in the contempt filings, but you will want to mention it here and the court order that mom deliver and pick up the children to Dad at his home or a designated exchange place, for his regular visits taking into account the weekends with therapeutic visitations during which Dad will pick children up in Fresno and mom will pick them up in LA. This will makeup for the times Denieddad traveled to Fresno and visitation was denied without notice. They will make up the denied visits thus Dad will have weekly visits and every holiday and school break until they are made up, all with mom delivering and picking them up at at his home or designated exchange point, mom bearing all costs. Denied dad may also want to ask for adjustment in child support since he was not allowed to visit with his children

[/QUOTE]
Should the Court reverse its original Order allowing Petitioner to select the Provider, Petitioner seeks to ensure the gender of the therapist be factored when selecint a provider. Past incidents inflicted by Respondent have resulted in the children connecting and communicating more comfortably with femaile authority figures. To wit, the Court has ordered that Respondent enroll in an Anger Management Program [7.02] and directed that "said therapeutic visits shall be specifically desinged to alleviate distress evident in the child" [3.03] [/QUOTE]

Again, there have never been past incidents that have been reported nor proven…no DV…nothing ever in anyone’s records. Like he said their divorce was amicable…he was devastated with the divorce, than the move, etc…the Mother’s allusion to these “past incidents” are unfounded. Also, that is where some of the problem has been...his ex's influence on their children (all boys by the way) has been so strong that we think that she may even have them convinced that female authority figures are always right and are the "caring" ones, unlike their father (who BTW hasn't been able to see them now for 8 months due to his ex's madness).[/QUOTE]

There are no past incidents, thus no cause for this, the therapist is qualified to provide the therapeutic visitations, the boys don't seem to have a problem with male authority figures such as coaches or teachers.

[/QUOTE] Respondent frequently and readily arranges his work schedule to accomodate his class schedules and litigious filings and should have minimal difficulty rearranging his schedule to accomodate visitations with his children at the selected reputable agency (CYS).

And, like Casa stated his drive from work to school in the evenings are approximately 200+ miles less than a trip to Fresno. His ex is just being ridiculous and hurtful at this point and time. And, his filing as you all know has not had him leave this area at all...all done from home and/or through the mail with help from others. [/QUOTE] This is not relevant, the court made their order to accommodate her and the children's schedules and she created the distance.

[/QUOTE] Okay, with all that said. This is how we think he will be focusing on each of her statements next week. Please give us any feedback…anything that you think will help and tell us what we should leave out too.

Thank you.[/QUOTE]

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I asked a question earlier about mentioning the therapist who saw his son without his permission and now that I read this, I understand that he should mention all of this next week. Yes? Please correct me if I am not understanding you right.

Thanks again for your kindness and all of your help.

You need to subpoena the records so the therapist will have them so some things covered by the contempt can still be mentioned now especially the subpoena because it will be too late by the time they are sent to the therapist that the judge will order.

 

[daddenied]

It is important to prepare the responses in writing and submit to court ahead of time and have copies ready at court for mom and the judge if need be.

Hello, It's DeniedDad's girl again. I just got off of work and am meeting him in a few hours to go over all of these things. In case I forget to say it, thank you all so much for the time you've spent in replying to our questions.

I just want to be clear...tonight we will be prepare his response to her statements. I called the FLF office who said that if we insist on filing a response, it would haev to be done attached to a legal declaration form. He said that was what it was called a "declaration". He also said that even if we have it filed by the paralegal on Monday and served that same day, it may or may not make it in the files before Wednesday's hearing telling me it would be a waste of our time. Of course, I was confused, but the gentleman said that the files may have already been taken out for the hearing. I was thinking to suggest to DeniedDad tonight for us to file a declaration in response to her statements anyway...it can't hurt right? Also, I was told by the FLF's office that a response from his ex is not necessarily required which surprised me. He said that the time frame was 9 court day plus 5 calendar days, but he thought that was changed to 10 days and wasn't sure if it were calendar days or court days??? (he wasn't much help) He said that even if she didn't respond, the judge will see both parties on Wed. and hear the case. Hmmm... I wasn't too sure about his answer. Anyhow, we will work on that and get it overnighted to the paralegal tomorrow morning so she can have it to file Monday morning. We called her and emailed her today asking if it would be okay and haven't heard back but will try again. Since we are going to be there late Tuesday night if all goes as planned in our schedules we are going to have her just hold on to our copies and we'll be picking it up from her Wed. morning...the filed copies...and also copies for both the judge and his ex. We are going to ask the paralegal if she is willing to serve his ex at her job on Monday immediately following the filing or even Tuesday to ensure she gets a copy of it beforehand. We'll see though.

Okay, I think that is everything. Thank you for clarifying the parts we needed help with. Have a good one. If we have time we will post his declaration tonight and if you are around before tomorrow afternoon, maybe you can take a look at it and see if we did okay.

 

[daddenied]

And let me say up front that he should fax his response to the paralegal to file with the court in advance so that the response can be in the file before court so the judge can review it. Be sure to include evidence that mom's response was not timely filed and shoe the postmark of the service to denieddad. He is not required to do anything other than file it with the court prior to court but he will have to serve her by mail, of course if it was mailed out late the same day as filed with the court say on Monday, it would arrive on or after the court date It is best to have the paralegal file and serve, be sure to track all expenses and costs. Have at least two complete copies of the response in case she doesn't receive it and in case the copy doesn't make it into the file, have the paralegal fax a copy of the stamped filed copy to you or pick it up in Fresno.

The FLF office told me today that the declaration of his response cannot be a copy and his signature must be original. Is that right? Or did I misunderstand? We thought we could just work on this and overnight it through FedEx or Express Mail tomorrow so the paralegal hopefully can do this on Monday for us

Did DeniedDad get a copy of the transcripts? He printed out a copy of the minute order, but not anyother order? He can file an objection if there is an error under CA CCP 473? I gave him the section before, it is important to make those corrections now and also to object to any order for an anger management program that was a part of the mediators reccommodations, that is totally different than the therapy he is receiving, if would also be good if his therapist would comment on whether or not an anger management program is necessary. It is fine that he used this time since the children were prevented from attending the sessions.

We have called at least twice a week since July 5th to request the transcripts from the last hearing. We even drove into Fresno on a weekday July 22nd to get it ourselves and were told by the clerk that we cannot pick it up because 1. They do not have paper copies of transcripts anymore and we must order the CD or audiotape of it. we did this and it was returned by the clerk with a letter stating there was no CD or audio tape available for that hearing??? and to call (lady's name) to request it. we have called this lady again at least twice a week since and she has NEVER responded. We have also written the courts as well as called the clerks office numerous times who only directs us back to this lady who supposedly can furnish us the written transcripts. Again, on 7/22 we were told at the clerk's office they no longer had written copies. Hmmm... The number we call for this lady is her direct # because we get her voice mail, but when we ask for the number to the department we are told that because Dept. 3 is a temporary dept there is no one there during the day to answer the phone. I know...it all sounds crazy, but DeniedDad is so paranoid at this point and time he believes it is some kind of conspiracy. I told him we will just have to go back to the clerk's office next week and start all over again with requesting it from them. In reference to Anger Management, I don't have the CO in front of me, but I do know that his ex told the mediatory she was scared of him, etc...and the mediator's recommendation was that he attend anger management counseling and that he report this to the courts within 30 days of the signed CO, making that July 31st. The judge pro tem asked him if he had a problem with that, and he told her that he didn't care what he had to do to see his kids, that he did not believe he needed it, but if the judge felt that he should do it than he would. The judge told him that it would not hurt and she didn't see that he would object to it being a counselor himself. The therapist already wrote a letter to the courts on his behalf letting them know that he has gone through AM with him and it did not seem to be needed. Although my guy did say that it was very interesting and he could see some value in it because of feelings of frustration and disappointment and truth be told even anger that he must suppress or let out in other areas due to the false accusations that his ex makes now.

 

[daddenied]

What that means is that Dad did not choose the therapist. Mom says she gets to 'choose' the therapist- well it's through Dad's insurance, so he doesn't choose- he got who he's assigned to.

Dad can say that since CYS not only does not offer services on the court approved day of Sat. (letter is filed in court file from CYS confirming that), nor do they treat children his children's ages, ...that he contacted his insurance to find an alternative which is covered and was referred to the new proposed therapist.

He did exactly what he should have done.

What I think is wonderful about what you've shared today~ is that the Judge Pro Tem specifically mentioned that if the supervised visits were not completed, mediation would continue as scheduled. The sitting judge in that court needs to HEAR that. Dad needs to voice that, since a Judge Pro Tem is a temp. or stand in and it may be a different judge when he goes back.

The Mediator will see right through Mom. Dad needs to focus on his documents from CYS proving he's researched and attempted to complete supervised visitatio.-
-that he's been denied visitation for 8 months.
- that there is NO history of DV- and that he followed the only available avenue (ins.) in order to find someone TO supervise the visits.
- that he completed the anger management (file that documentation as well).
- Provide a Mapquest print out if need be, to visually demonstrate the extreme difference in commute between Fresno & Dad's home, vs. school & Dad's home.

In CA declarations are allowed from others~ and it wouldn't hurt to write one yourself and file it. Just your observations of his caring and dedication to be a part of his children's lives, the financial and emotional loss you've witnessed as a result of his repeated denial of visitation.

In court you probably won't be asked anything- quiet and unassuming is your best bet. You won't be in Mediation either, but you can certainly accompany him to the office and wait.

Thank you Casa. (It's DadDenied's girl again) Yes, the judge pro tem did say that mediation would still occur, but DadDenied told me he was worried about that. WHO sets the mediation date. The judge pro tem said it would be 4 months away, so most likely 1st no later than 2nd week of November. Do we have to do something to schedule that ourselves? We just want to make sure that it is on the calendar and we don't get messed over. If we aren't the ones who schedules the mediation, where can we find out information on who schedules it. I guess I should've asked the FLF office today huh?

Regarding a declaration from me...I've thought about it many times, but worry as I do not want to do anything at all that will hurt his case. He tells me that he believes besides his ex being unstable in other different areas, that he thinks is doing most of this out of jealousy and anger and that she sees this as a fight with me and not him. I don't know about that since I do think part of it is true, but not all of it. So, as you can probably tell, I just worry that something I may declare might work against him. I will run it by him tonight. I would love to do it, because I can honestly state all the things you recommend I write about. It's emotionally draining to think and live it.

I do plan on accompanying him to court as I have done in the past to support him. I know that I will NEVER speak, but I know it makes him feel better that I am there. And, we never thought I could accompany him to mediation and wait for him, but I think that's a good idea too. Thanks!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

We have called at least twice a week since July 5th to request the transcripts from the last hearing. We even drove into Fresno on a weekday July 22nd to get it ourselves and were told by the clerk that we cannot pick it up because 1. They do not have paper copies of transcripts anymore and we must order the CD or audiotape of it. we did this and it was returned by the clerk with a letter stating there was no CD or audio tape available for that hearing??? and to call (lady's name) to request it. we have called this lady again at least twice a week since and she has NEVER responded. We have also written the courts as well as called the clerks office numerous times who only directs us back to this lady who supposedly can furnish us the written transcripts. Again, on 7/22 we were told at the clerk's office they no longer had written copies. Hmmm... The number we call for this lady is her direct # because we get her voice mail, but when we ask for the number to the department we are told that because Dept. 3 is a temporary dept there is no one there during the day to answer the phone. I know...it all sounds crazy, but DeniedDad is so paranoid at this point and time he believes it is some kind of conspiracy. I told him we will just have to go back to the clerk's office next week and start all over again with requesting it from them. In reference to Anger Management, I don't have the CO in front of me, but I do know that his ex told the mediatory she was scared of him, etc...and the mediator's recommendation was that he attend anger management counseling and that he report this to the courts within 30 days of the signed CO, making that July 31st. The judge pro tem asked him if he had a problem with that, and he told her that he didn't care what he had to do to see his kids, that he did not believe he needed it, but if the judge felt that he should do it than he would. The judge told him that it would not hurt and she didn't see that he would object to it being a counselor himself. The therapist already wrote a letter to the courts on his behalf letting them know that he has gone through AM with him and it did not seem to be needed. Although my guy did say that it was very interesting and he could see some value in it because of feelings of frustration and disappointment and truth be told even anger that he must suppress or let out in other areas due to the false accusations that his ex makes now.

OK so he just utilized the time in therapy to address AM not a 52 week program. YOu really need the transcripts so you have what was said. Maike sure the court knows that you have been trying to get the transcripts and there are some issues that don't match the orders. It is inportant that declarations no matter what form the take that they have the oath under penalty of purgery... on each page and the case number and name, but you can use these forms available on the courts website MC-039/031
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/forms.cgi http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/mc030.pdf http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/mc031.pdf

 

[casa]

Thank you Casa. (It's DadDenied's girl again) Yes, the judge pro tem did say that mediation would still occur, but DadDenied told me he was worried about that. WHO sets the mediation date. The judge pro tem said it would be 4 months away, so most likely 1st no later than 2nd week of November. Do we have to do something to schedule that ourselves? We just want to make sure that it is on the calendar and we don't get messed over. If we aren't the ones who schedules the mediation, where can we find out information on who schedules it. I guess I should've asked the FLF office today huh?

Regarding a declaration from me...I've thought about it many times, but worry as I do not want to do anything at all that will hurt his case. He tells me that he believes besides his ex being unstable in other different areas, that he thinks is doing most of this out of jealousy and anger and that she sees this as a fight with me and not him. I don't know about that since I do think part of it is true, but not all of it. So, as you can probably tell, I just worry that something I may declare might work against him. I will run it by him tonight. I would love to do it, because I can honestly state all the things you recommend I write about. It's emotionally draining to think and live it.

I do plan on accompanying him to court as I have done in the past to support him. I know that I will NEVER speak, but I know it makes him feel better that I am there. And, we never thought I could accompany him to mediation and wait for him, but I think that's a good idea too. Thanks!

Mediation is scheduled by the judge. There is always a wait since mediation is used in so many contested custody/visitation issues in CA. The judge will confer with the mediator's schedule for next avail. appt. and then ask both Mom & Dad if that date is acceptable- if not, he will schedule another.

It's a personal choice re; declarations~ However I believe they are helpful. Friends, Family, Neighbors- even his employer if he's been given repeated time off work to pursue his Rights.

Declaration forms can be downloaded online. They can be filled out and printed out from online also.

 

[daddenied]

Mediation is scheduled by the judge. There is always a wait since mediation is used in so many contested custody/visitation issues in CA. The judge will confer with the mediator's schedule for next avail. appt. and then ask both Mom & Dad if that date is acceptable- if not, he will schedule another.

It's daddenied now. I just got home and my girlfriend said she's been busy reading all the help from you and Miss Met. Thank you. Will I be notified of this mediation date? The reason I am worried is because it is 2 months away and there is nothing noted in our file of a mediation date set for November. I don't want to continue to pester the FLF office nor does my girlfriend, but if there is not mediation date set by next month, should I worry? Or, should I just leave that up to the courts. My fear is that November will come and there will be no mediation date set and I will be told at the time by a judge or the clerk why I didn't show any concern earlier. I don't know...stranger things have happened. It would be just MY luck.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It's daddenied now. I just got home and my girlfriend said she's been busy reading all the help from you and Miss Met. Thank you. Will I be notified of this mediation date? The reason I am worried is because it is 2 months away and there is nothing noted in our file of a mediation date set for November. I don't want to continue to pester the FLF office nor does my girlfriend, but if there is not mediation date set by next month, should I worry? Or, should I just leave that up to the courts. My fear is that November will come and there will be no mediation date set and I will be told at the time by a judge or the clerk why I didn't show any concern earlier. I don't know...stranger things have happened. It would be just MY luck.

You should find out about mediation on Wed it will depend on whether the judge will honor the original schedule even though the children have not attended the therapy. Also be sure to ask for a different mediator!
Now you have your work cut out. Even though you file, serve the response and proof of service, take copies to court with you in case neither the judge or ex has your response. I already provided links to the forms for the declaration and attachment sheetsm also make sure that each exhibit is properly paginated.

 

[daddenied]

You should find out about mediation on Wed it will depend on whether the judge will honor the original schedule even though the children have not attended the therapy. Also be sure to ask for a different mediator!
Now you have your work cut out. Even though you file, serve the response and proof of service, take copies to court with you in case neither the judge or ex has your response. I already provided links to the forms for the declaration and attachment sheetsm also make sure that each exhibit is properly paginated.

I plan on bringing up mediation on Wed. I plan on asking that the Nov. ,mediation still stand, because by mid November, we would have alreay met in at least 6 Sat. session (I am not counting 3 that due to business travel
I may not be able to make-the only other excuse that the judge said would be okay to miss. I'm trying to get out of those business trips so that I will be able to have 9 sessions by mid-November, only 3 less than the total # of sessions ordered. I really want to have them for Thanksgiving and Christmas year. I fear that the judge will say that since the 12 sessions will not be over before Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas (no visitations on holiday weekends) I will be ordered to have supervised visitations for these holidays. My girlfriend suggested that I get my parents and my brother and his wife to sign letters stating that IF I am ordered to have supervised visitation over the holidays until all sessions are done, they would be willing to supervise in LA County, Riverside County and/or Clark County (Las Vegas). These are the counties we all live in and will spend the holidays in with the boys. My family is in agreement, but I don't know if I should not address that and simply ask for them during those times.