Is there such a thing as third part interference regarding step parents?

[mhb3]

Headed to the school now! Hopefully I'll get some clarity!

 

[mhb3]

Update, meeting with school administrators went well. I took our custody agreement and asked if they felt it was appropriate to request all communication regarding decisions and well being being directed to both dad and I. They felt it was appropriate with the recent issues we have had at school and said it was not an uncommon request. The principal promised to address it with the teachers. Yesterday, I was copied on an email from the school counselor in response to an email dad sent. Dad responded again today wanting step parents to be involved as well. (email thread is copied below) I now feel bad that the school is now being bombarded. Haven't backed down to anything and have kept my responses short. Any input on email thread would be appreciated, not sure if I should reply again or leave it be. (they're in reverse order due to copy and pasting)


(DADS EMAIL TODAY)
On Fri, Oct 12, 2018 at 9:09 AM J@yahoo.com> wrote:

X​

​

Thanks for your response. I just want to be clear that we are all on the same page because as far as I'm concerned X step-parents are just as much involved in X care as mom and I are, therefore they should both be in the loop regarding communication and meetings. Is this what was discussed with the administration? Do I need to speak with the principal so we are all on the same page? I'm just trying to understand why no one has responded to X's (X's step-mother) emails regarding concerns for X? Any parent should be able to address concerns with the school regarding their child, especially the counselor.​

​

Regards,​

@gmail.com>
(THIS WAS MY RESPONSE SENT TO DAD AND COUNSELOR)
Thu, Oct 11, 9:50 AM (1 day ago)



Thank you so much !

​

On Thursday, October 11, 2018, 9:11:21 AM EDT, L> wrote: (SCHOOL COUNSELOR)​

​

​

x's parents,​

​

I do apologize for not getting back with you sooner, I was just having to get some guidance from my administration before responding. From this point forward, I will be copying both of you on any emails concerning X and any information that pertains to our school. This way, both of you will be presented with the same information and the two of you can make decisions related to school based upon the same content.​

​

I believe Mrs. X, Xs classroom teacher will be contacting both of you to set up an appointment. I will do my best to arrange my schedule so that I can also attend. This will be a great opportunity for both of you to be able to meet with all the staff that is directly involved with X's academic instruction.​

​

X is a very sweet and determined student. I just have some concerns about her being withdrawn from others at times. She reports to me that everything in her life is fine, but she seems to frequently have her thoughts on issues other than school. I will continue to meet with her and keep you informed.​

​

I look forward to meeting with both of you, X and Mrs. X. (teachers) ​

​

Have a great day!!!​

​

​

(THIS WAS SENT TO COUNSELOR DIRECTLY FROM DAD)

From: Jeyahoo.com>​

Sent: Wednesday, October 10, 2018 1:21:08 PM​

To:​

Subject: X's Father​

​

This message is from OUTSIDE Bartow County School System. Please use caution when clicking links and NEVER enter any information if prompted to do so!​

Hi X,​

​

My name is X, x's father. My wife X, had sent you a message last Friday regarding a meeting possibly scheduled for next Tuesday the 16th. I just wanted to know if you had received the message and if you had any correspondence with X, x's mother as I would like to be copied on any emails regarding X.​

​

Regards,​

 

[stealth2]

Could you please use different letters for different people? All the Xs get very confusing. Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

It is absolutely appropriate for the school to copy both parents. If dad requests that someone else be involved, he may do that and the school may comply.

 

[mhb3]

Zigner, I asked the school to copy dad and I on everything

 

[not2cleverRed]

We really need to get the head hitting a brick wall repeatedly emoticon.

Dad really doesn't get it.

There are times where a step-parent being that involved would not be entirely inappropriate, but given that the actual legal parents are both alive and active in the kid's life, and that both legal parents are not in accord on the subject - no.

I disagree with Zigner. Yes, the school could cc stepparents email - but Dad could also share/forward emails. And why should step parents be at school meetings?

 

[mhb3]

Hopefully this is better "Jane" is being used as my daughters name for the sake of context

(DADS EMAIL TODAY)
On Fri, Oct 12, 2018 at 9:09 AM [email protected]> wrote:
Mrs. Counselor

Thanks for your response. I just want to be clear that we are all on the same page because as far as I'm concerned Jane's step-parents are just as much involved in Jane's care as mom and I are, therefore they should both be in the loop regarding communication and meetings. Is this what was discussed with the administration? Do I need to speak with the principal so we are all on the same page? I'm just trying to understand why no one has responded to (step moms) emails regarding concerns for Jane? Any parent should be able to address concerns with the school regarding their child, especially the counselor.

Regards,
JS

@gmail.com>
(THIS WAS MY RESPONSE SENT TO DAD AND COUNSELOR)
Thu, Oct 11, 9:50 AM (1 day ago)



Thank you so much !


On Thursday, October 11, 2018, 9:11:21 AM EDT, L> wrote: (SCHOOL COUNSELOR)


Jane's parents,

I do apologize for not getting back with you sooner, I was just having to get some guidance from my administration before responding. From this point forward, I will be copying both of you on any emails concerning Jane and any information that pertains to our school. This way, both of you will be presented with the same information and the two of you can make decisions related to school based upon the same content.

I believe Mrs. G, Jane's classroom teacher will be contacting both of you to set up an appointment. I will do my best to arrange my schedule so that I can also attend. This will be a great opportunity for both of you to be able to meet with all the staff that is directly involved with Jane's academic instruction.

Jane is a very sweet and determined student. I just have some concerns about her being withdrawn from others at times. She reports to me that everything in her life is fine, but she seems to frequently have her thoughts on issues other than school. I will continue to meet with her and keep you informed.

I look forward to meeting with both of you, Mrs. G and Mrs. C. (teachers)

Have a great day!!!


(THIS WAS SENT TO COUNSELOR DIRECTLY FROM DAD)
From: yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, October 10, 2018 1:21:08 PM
To:
Subject: Jane's Father

This message is from OUTSIDE Bartow County School System. Please use caution when clicking links and NEVER enter any information if prompted to do so!
Hi School Counselor,

My name is JS, Jane's father. My wife , had sent you a message last Friday regarding a meeting possibly scheduled for next Tuesday the 16th. I just wanted to know if you had received the message and if you had any correspondence with MB, Jane's mother as I would like to be copied on any emails regarding Jane.

Regards,

 

[Just Blue]

Could you please use different letters for different people? All the Xs get very confusing. Thank you.

It is rather confusing.

M=Mom
D=Dad
C=Child
SM=Stepmother
SF=Stepfather

 

[mhb3]

We really need to get the head hitting a brick wall repeatedly emoticon.

Dad really doesn't get it.

There are times where a step-parent being that involved would not be entirely inappropriate, but given that the actual legal parents are both alive and active in the kid's life, and that both legal parents are not in accord on the subject - no.

I disagree with Zigner. Yes, the school could cc stepparents email - but Dad could also share/forward emails. And why should step parents be at school meetings?

This is what I'm not understanding. I dont THINK ( i know that could get me in trouble) my request is unreasonable or outside of what is legally agreed upon. I specifically asked for them to copy DAD AND I on EVERYTHING. Shouldn't this be sufficient as we are both actively involved. Its almost as if dad is trying to pass off all parenting to step mom. I find it Ironic that dad sent an email to the school directly, didn't copy me, yet wants to be copied on everything himself... or maybe im just crazy

 

[Just Blue]

We really need to get the head hitting a brick wall repeatedly emoticon.

Dad really doesn't get it.

There are times where a step-parent being that involved would not be entirely inappropriate, but given that the actual legal parents are both alive and active in the kid's life, and that both legal parents are not in accord on the subject - no.

I disagree with Zigner. Yes, the school could cc stepparents email - but Dad could also share/forward emails. And why should step parents be at school meetings?

Bet ya anything it's because SM "won't be marginalized" by Mom. SM is oh so certain that it is her "right" to be treated by everyone as a parent. I would also bet she is the driving force behind Dads behavior.

Honestly ...the only thing that will stop the destruction of the co-parenting relationship and the mental harm to the poor child is a RO against the SM. A GAL should be appointed to observe both households and protect kiddo.

 

[stealth2]

It's not unreasonable. And Dad could quite easily forward emails to SM or have her read over his shoulder.

 

[mhb3]

I think so too. That's what we do my husband isn't "looped in" but is well aware of what goes on. I didn't ask for her to be eliminated just for dad and I to be the source of communications and decisions.. a counselor involves decisions and her well being.. Don't know what else I can do aside from the GAL

 

[not2cleverRed]

(DADS EMAIL TODAY)
On Fri, Oct 12, 2018 at 9:09 AM [email protected]> wrote:
Mrs. Counselor

Thanks for your response. I just want to be clear that we are all on the same page because as far as I'm concerned Jane's step-parents are just as much involved in Jane's care as mom and I are, therefore they should both be in the loop regarding communication and meetings. Is this what was discussed with the administration? Do I need to speak with the principal so we are all on the same page? I'm just trying to understand why no one has responded to (step moms) emails regarding concerns for Jane? Any parent should be able to address concerns with the school regarding their child, especially the counselor.

Regards,
JS

I am quoting this section for emphasis. " I'm just trying to understand why no one has responded to (step moms) emails regarding concerns for Jane? Any parent should be able to address concerns with the school regarding their child, especially the counselor."

This shows everything in a nutshell: Dad does not understand that stepmom is NOT Jane's parent.

 

[mhb3]

you're right

 

[Just Blue]

I am quoting this section for emphasis. " I'm just trying to understand why no one has responded to (step moms) emails regarding concerns for Jane? Any parent should be able to address concerns with the school regarding their child, especially the counselor."

This shows everything in a nutshell: Dad does not understand that stepmom is NOT Jane's parent.

Neither does SM. I'm telling ya...An RO is the only way this women will learn.