Mom signed on with modeling agency w/out my permission

[Ohiogal]

OP is forgetting one important thing. Mom can sign any contract she wants for the child to do the modeling, but without dads OK its not going work.

1st unless mom can get all the shooting times on her time all dads has to do is say no she can't go. whats mom going do tell dad sorry its your court order time but the child has an modeling shoot at this time so you can't have her? ya right there a contempt of court right there that a judge is not going like. Also whats mom going do ask the judge to redo visits around the modeling times. Maybe but it be a hard sell.

2nd. If the child doesn't have a passport and is ask to do a shoot outside of the US all dad has to do is not sign the passport papers. Whats mom going do take him to court? By that time she loss the shoot.

Enough of these and moms going lose the contract. and dad gets what he wants.

And the power struggle continues. Which means the CHILD loses. Because two adults can't COMPROMISE.

 

[strongbus]

Oh Ohiogal I agree with that one you need both parents working with each other for whats best for the child.

What dad should do is wait and see if the child is pickup by a modeling place.
Then do his homework on the place and be part of the process.

Dad should makes sure that

1. child wants to do this and is not being forced by mom.(you hear to many stories of this where the parents are forcing the child to act/model/whatever just cause the parents want them to.)

2. That is not going mess up the child's schooling.(such as during the school year limit it to school breaks and weekends).

3. Make sure all the modeling things are not going be what dad or mom think are not right(such as was said in a early post bout underwear or such).

4. make sure that at lest 50% of the money made is going to some sort of trust fund for the child.(i have heard that there is a law saying that for child actor a % must go into a trust funds type of account for when they are adults don't know if it applies to modeling or if there is a law for this).

As long as mom and dad can agree on these things i see no reason not to let the child do it.

That being said if dad finds that any of those 4 things are not right, then as a father i would be in court to fix it fast. 2-4 wouldn't be to end the modeling outright but to make sure everything was for the best of the child. If it was the 1st reason you bet i would be suing to have the contract ended if i though my child was unhappy and being forced by mom to do it.

 

[stealth2]

Stealth, your kids are lucky to have a mom who allowed them to use the talents they have instead of trying to direct them to areas where they would not excel, just because those areas might be more "acceptable" to some people!

I was directed in that manner when I was younger. It wasn't exactly *bad*, as I did get an excellent education, but it's never been something I've enjoyed doing and still get "comments" on how I've lowered myself. I wish I had had the balls to say no. I would rather see my kids doing something that they love than not. Unfortunately, their other parent isn't quite as ... flexible.

I'm one of very few working moms in my area. The ones that DO work outside the home are mostly teachers so they can still spend tons of time with their kids.

So am I. I'm also the only unmarried parent. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

And the power struggle continues. Which means the CHILD loses. Because two adults can't COMPROMISE.

And that is the saddest part. Reality is that OP's child is unlikely to go much beyond a Sears catalog or two, maybe a spread for BuildABear or similar. Then she'll hit that gawky stretch that the majority of kids do, and no one will be interested in shooting her. All the talk of international photo shoots are so pie in the sky as to be untrue.

If the child wants to do it, I'd be inclined to allow her to give it a try. And help her learn about the industry - both the good and the bad - and go from there.

 

[CJane]

So am I. I'm also the only unmarried parent. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

There are some unmarried Dads, but I think I'm the only unmarried Mom.

 

[stealth2]

There are some unmarried Dads

None of those, either. It's interesting, though. I have found, over the years, that many married women have issues with an unmarried female around their husbands. I've never made even the hint of a move on one of them, yet... <shrug>

 

[CJane]

None of those, either. It's interesting, though. I have found, over the years, that many married women have issues with an unmarried female around their husbands. I've never made even the hint of a move on one of them, yet... <shrug>

Insecurity is so unattractive.

 

[nextwife]

NW - would you consider this "worthy of note"?

Pilot Michael Trapp recounts 18 HOURS lost in lake without life jacket after plane crash | Mail Online

Absolutely. I was at that same air show to which he was headed just three days ago. We closely followed that story.

There are many wonderful acheivements of teens and young adults that were not necessarily academic. Kids who took on environmental causes, one young man here in his early teens who knits caps for newborns at a local hospital, my daughter volunteers at an organization who does programming and day camp for special needs kids as respite for their parents. A friend of hers does volunteer work at the local animal shelter.had learned how to work in construction the the trades, that is a wonderful

As to the discussion of parents who were not book smart but accomplished in other areas, such as the trades: A young woman learning the trades has many future opportunities available to her. Our local Builders Association has apprentice programs for women and minorities, to increase their respresentation in skilled trades, for example. A young adult learning construction skills is also a meaningful use of their time.

 

[stealth2]

Absolutely. I was at that same air show to which he was headed just three days ago. We closely followed that story.

There are many wonderful acheivements of teens and young adults that were not necessarily academic. Kids who took on environmental causes, one young man here in his early teens who knits caps for newborns at a local hospital, my daughter volunteers at an organization who does programming and day camp for special needs kids as respite for their parents. A friend of hers does volunteer work at the local animal shelter.had learned how to work in construction the the trades, that is a wonderful

As to the discussion of parents who were not book smart but accomplished in other areas, such as the trades: A young woman learning the trades has many future opportunities available to her. Our local Builders Association has apprentice programs for women and minorities, to increase their respresentation in skilled trades, for example. A young adult learning construction skills is also a meaningful use of their time.

Yes, but... that's not what you said. You made it clear that intellectual pursuits were it. What if you're the parent of a kid who doesn't have that ability? You pretty well dissed all of those kids as losers.

 

[nextwife]

Yes, but... that's not what you said. You made it clear that intellectual pursuits were it. What if you're the parent of a kid who doesn't have that ability? You pretty well dissed all of those kids as losers.

Intellectual pursuits ARE betting than strutting around and shaking one's hair. One need not be a brainiac to do creative writing, engage in some theater classes, participate in forensics, create a science fair project etc.

Intellectual pursuits means doing something that demands mind and heart, rather than good bone structure, long legs and a willingness to eat like a parakeet.

Finish carpentry, for example, demands an understanding of math and geometry.

 

[CJane]

Intellectual pursuits ARE betting than strutting around and shaking one's hair. One need not be a brainiac to do creative writing, engage in some theater classes, participate in forensics, create a science fair project etc.

Intellectual pursuits means doing something that demands mind and heart, rather than good bone structure, long legs and a willingness to eat like a parakeet.

Finish carpentry, for example, demands an understanding of math and geometry.

BUT WHY are they "better"? Why, in fact, are they SO MUCH "better" that you can make a blanket statement like you did?

Why should a person who was blessed with good bone structure, an ability to understand how to translate that into a modeling contract, and the drive to make a successful career of his/herself be thought less of?

Why are THEIR gifts "less good" than someone else's gift of a brain, or good hand-eye coordination, or an innate understanding of geometry?

I'm as "responsible" for my appearance as I am my intellect. Both are things I was born with and which require very little from me. Same with my kids. They're gorgeous AND incredibly bright. Why should I force "intellectual pursuits" on them if their true happiness/calling is geared towards more aesthetic concerns?

Should I feel like a failure as a parent if Wild chooses cosmetology school, a husband, a mini van and a couple of kids over a master's degree?

 

[stealth2]

Intellectual pursuits ARE betting than strutting around and shaking one's hair. One need not be a brainiac to do creative writing, engage in some theater classes, participate in forensics, create a science fair project etc.

Intellectual pursuits means doing something that demands mind and heart, rather than good bone structure, long legs and a willingness to eat like a parakeet.

Finish carpentry, for example, demands an understanding of math and geometry.

And modelling is more than "good bone structure, long legs and a willingness to eat like a parakeet." You know less about it than you think.

 

[Proserpina]

And modelling is more than "good bone structure, long legs and a willingness to eat like a parakeet." You know less about it than you think.

FAR less.

Honestly, this is almost pathological. It's WAY over the top.

 

[CJane]

FAR less.

Honestly, this is almost pathological. It's WAY over the top.

It's bizarre. It's as if someone who is attractive should hide it in the name of being smart instead. As if attractiveness = vacuous. As if there aren't plenty of fine minds out there that are owned by utterly arrogant a**holes.

 

[frylover]

BUT WHY are they "better"? Why, in fact, are they SO MUCH "better" that you can make a blanket statement like you did?

Why should a person who was blessed with good bone structure, an ability to understand how to translate that into a modeling contract, and the drive to make a successful career of his/herself be thought less of?

Why are THEIR gifts "less good" than someone else's gift of a brain, or good hand-eye coordination, or an innate understanding of geometry?

I'm as "responsible" for my appearance as I am my intellect. Both are things I was born with and which require very little from me. Same with my kids. They're gorgeous AND incredibly bright. Why should I force "intellectual pursuits" on them if their true happiness/calling is geared towards more aesthetic concerns?

Should I feel like a failure as a parent if Wild chooses cosmetology school, a husband, a mini van and a couple of kids over a master's degree?

Of course you shouldn't! I would feel like more a failure if I bullied my kids into following a career path they hated because I felt it was worthwhile.

BUT, the OP did say his concern (aside from not being asked permission) was that scary people might see the photos, not that she might lose brain cells. And, scary people are everywhere. So, if all he's got is "but your honor, pedophiles might see these pictures" he ain't got much. Of course, he also would not have much with "but your honor, MY child is too intelligent and accomplished academically to lower herself with an activity like this"

 

[stealth2]

Finish carpentry, for example, demands an understanding of math and geometry.

And I would bet that, if you were to ask a finish carpenter to solve a geometrical equation, s/he may not be able to. The understanding is innate.

Really, NW... you're being a snob.