Name Change

[mistoffolees]

I'm sorry, juvenile attacks? Is that what it's called to point out that you keep making blanket statements about individual cases as if they apply in ALL cases?

No, juvenile attacks would be things like "Apparently it falls into the "Magic Penii Clause" in the HeManWomanHatersRuleBook" - apparently, your specialty.

Maybe you should look up 'ad hominem attacks'. Read. Learn.

If you have EVER bothered to read what I write, I'm normally very careful NOT to imply that anything applies to only one gender. As much as anyone (and more than most), I constantly point out that the system is gender-neutral and that few things apply preferentially to one parent or the other.

The one time I slip up and make a gender-specific statement (which I quickly corrected when it was pointed out to me), you launch into the above attack. That has absolutely no place on this forum.

 

[CJane]

Yes, except I didn't personally attack YOU or call YOU names. I pointed out the bias in your (repeated) advice.

If pointing out bias and flat out wrong advice has no room in this forum, feel free to report my posts to the moderator. Be sure to tell her that I was a juvenile meany poopy head.

For the record, if you search "hyphenate" (any date and newer) in the Custody and Visitation forum, out of the first 25 threads that pop up, 13 are dealing with fathers requesting changes to the child's name. Four are Moms requesting changes to the child's name.

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/name-change-522425.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/legal-daddy-525206.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/babys-last-name-519812.html

Dad requesting name change/child to have his name -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/unwed-mother-father-child-wants-child-have-his-name-509592.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/babys-name-489932.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/babys-last-name-443673.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/chances-courts-rule-changing-childs-surname-mine-father-429021.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/name-change-426839.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/petition-name-change-ex-boyfriend-417330.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/changing-sons-last-name-395729.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/not-your-typical-name-change-373014.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/fighting-name-change-arkansas-477066.html

Dad requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/name-change-child-413589.html

Mom requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/another-name-change-question-440540.html

Mom requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/not-your-typical-name-change-373014.html

Mom requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/i-am-actually-considering-name-change-hyphen-468808.html

Mom requesting name change -- https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/name-change-472239.html

 

[mistoffolees]

Yes, except I didn't personally attack YOU or call YOU names. I pointed out the bias in your (repeated) advice.

If pointing out bias and flat out wrong advice has no room in this forum, feel free to report my posts to the moderator. Be sure to tell her that I was a juvenile meany poopy head.

For the record, if you search "hyphenate" (any date and newer) in the Custody and Visitation forum, out of the first 25 threads that pop up, 13 are dealing with fathers requesting changes to the child's name. Four are Moms requesting changes to the child's name.

What's that supposed to prove? In the real world (you should visit some time), children normally have the father's name at birth and there is rarely a need for the father to change the name. In fact, your own 'evidence' backs that up - most of the fathers are asking if hyphenation is an option while most of the mothers simply want to change the name entirely.

But none of that is relevant. I made a mistake by including only one gender in my statement and corrected it. Unlike you, I don't profess to be perfect. Instead of simply acknowledging the mistake (as several other posters did), you launched into your juvenile attacks.

So, again, what is your problem that makes you so hateful and bitter?

 

[RemitAdvice]

The absolute WORST part of this is the fact that he's discussing this with her. HER. . . and has informed her that she would be part of his family...if she changed her name. Now she questions me about being able to get Xmas presents if her name isn't changed????

She already feels a little left out over there, being the youngest (by far) and being the only girl in a bevy of 4 brothers and 5 cousins...all boys.

Why would he even discuss this with her and get her all rattled?? Now he has her thinking that there's something wrong with her name...(which is austrian) and I think they make fun of it. He used to poke fun at mine when we were...together...so I'm sure he's using the same one liners on her and it absolutely enrages me that a grown man, her father no less, would do this to her.

I would consider hyphenating her name...as mine is...but it's already considerable in length and adding yet another name for her to write in school seems cruel.

 

[Ohiogal]

What's that supposed to prove? In the real world (you should visit some time), children normally have the father's name at birth and there is rarely a need for the father to change the name. In fact, your own 'evidence' backs that up - most of the fathers are asking if hyphenation is an option while most of the mothers simply want to change the name entirely.

But none of that is relevant. I made a mistake by including only one gender in my statement and corrected it. Unlike you, I don't profess to be perfect. Instead of simply acknowledging the mistake (as several other posters did), you launched into your juvenile attacks.

So, again, what is your problem that makes you so hateful and bitter?

Misty you are out of line. Cjane is not hateful and bitter. She has a point. The majority of people on this forum who want to do name changes are DADS. And most dads don't want to hyphenate. I see it in my practice consistently. When a child is born in an unwed situation much (majority I dare say) of the time the child is given MOTHER'S last name father wants to change it. Cjane is NOT professing to be perfect. And you did make a mistake but corrected it. I saw your correction. That is no reason to go after Cjane. She was trying to provide proof of what she was stating. Your statement about the real world -- I am in it constantly and dealing with these issues.

 

[mistoffolees]

Misty you are out of line. Cjane is not hateful and bitter. She has a point.

That's nonsense and you know better.

Several people pointed out the bias in my statement - and I fixed it.

Cjane, OTOH, posted "Apparently it falls into the "Magic Penii Clause" in the HeManWomanHatersRuleBook" -- which adds absolutely nothing and is clearly meant as nothing more than a personal attack.

 

[LdiJ]

That's nonsense and you know better.

Several people pointed out the bias in my statement - and I fixed it.

Cjane, OTOH, posted "Apparently it falls into the "Magic Penii Clause" in the HeManWomanHatersRuleBook" -- which adds absolutely nothing and is clearly meant as nothing more than a personal attack.

Misto, she was trying to point out the hypocracy in your statement. I pointed it out as well.

If mom wanting the child's name changed is all about ego, then its no different for dad either. If its all about ego then children's last names should never be changed, period.

 

[RemitAdvice]

Okay...sorry to interrupt...

But can anyone think of any valid reasons Dad would want the name change, other than to rid himself of some embarassment?

 

[mistoffolees]

Misto, she was trying to point out the hypocracy in your statement. I pointed it out as well.

But you didn't throw out crap like "Magic Penii Clause" in the HeManWomanHatersRuleBook"

 

[LdiJ]

Okay...sorry to interrupt...

But can anyone think of any valid reasons Dad would want the name change, other than to rid himself of some embarassment?

I cannot think of any. If the child primarily lived with dad and didn't have dad's last name I could see some possible confusion happening, but that's not the case.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I cannot think of any. If the child primarily lived with dad and didn't have dad's last name I could see some possible confusion happening, but that's not the case.

I'm going to throw this out there....

By your statement above... If the child primarily lived with MOM and didn't have MOM's Last name, I could see some possible confusion happening... see where I am going with this?

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm going to throw this out there....

By your statement above... If the child primarily lived with MOM and didn't have MOM's Last name, I could see some possible confusion happening... see where I am going with this?

Oh, no. Ldij would never make a statement that wasn't gender neutral.

 

[stealth2]

Cjane, OTOH, posted "Apparently it falls into the "Magic Penii Clause" in the HeManWomanHatersRuleBook" -- which adds absolutely nothing and is clearly meant as nothing more than a personal attack.

Yeah, but it was darned funny! BTW... O/T... I can't help but think of you as "misto's fleas"...

OP... why not hyphenate her name?

 

[RemitAdvice]

I'm going to throw this out there....

By your statement above... If the child primarily lived with MOM and didn't have MOM's Last name, I could see some possible confusion happening... see where I am going with this?

She does live with Mom. I carry both my maiden name (same as kiddo in question) AND my 2nd husband's last name (same as add'l sibling) I use them both consistently: DL, SS card, all medical records, my credit report, mortgage/billing paperwork, bank statement...EVERYTHING. I did this purposely as each kid does not have the same name and Dad was uninterested, and vehemently stated such, from the beginning.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

She does live with Mom. I carry both my maiden name (same as kiddo in question) AND my 2nd husband's last name (same as add'l sibling) I use them both consistently: DL, SS card, all medical records, my credit report, mortgage/billing paperwork, bank statement...EVERYTHING. I did this purposely as each kid does not have the same name and Dad was uninterested, and vehemently stated such, from the beginning.

Wasn't referring to your situation at all. Was commenting on another senior's response.