Rights of father vs happiness of 14 year old

[Eekamouse]

It doesn't sound like mom even talked to dad about what had happened so mom is only going on what mouthy 14 year old says happened.

 

[cbg]

We don't actually know that happened, L. We know that's what the poster says the kid says happened.

And you've been around long enough to know that what gets said in a post is not always precisely how things went down.

I suspect that if Dad were really physically abusive in the sense that requires state intervention, we'd have heard a lot more on the subject from Mom.

 

[Silverplum]

So what works for you?

For one, parenting with an expectation of excellence in their behaviors. They turned out to be excellent men.

Try a parenting site.

 

[LdiJ]

We don't actually know that happened, L. We know that's what the poster says the kid says happened.

And you've been around long enough to know that what gets said in a post is not always precisely how things went down.

I suspect that if Dad were really physically abusive in the sense that requires state intervention, we'd have heard a lot more on the subject from Mom.

Ok, yes, there is the possibility that the child is lying...but he would have to be lying about WHO hit him in the face.

 

[Ohiogal]

Everyone has given very good advice here, but most of the responses seem to be totally focusing on the fact that the child is mouthy, and completely ignoring the fact that the child came back to mom with a cut and bruise on his fact that were placed there by dad in a fit of anger.

Dad physically abused this child. Either CPS should have been called, or mom should have made an emergency trip to court to get visitation suspended until the issue could be fully investigated. There is simply no excuse for what dad did.

And we know dad did this how? Because the child said so?

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok, yes, there is the possibility that the child is lying...but he would have to be lying about WHO hit him in the face.

Or about HOW he got the bruise to begin with. It may have NOTHING to do with dad. He may not have been hit at all. There are other things that could have happened. Mom wants an EXCUSE not to send junior. She doesn't want to coparent with dad. She wants to see dad as the enemy because that works for her.

 

[LdiJ]

Or about HOW he got the bruise to begin with. It may have NOTHING to do with dad. He may not have been hit at all. There are other things that could have happened. Mom wants an EXCUSE not to send junior. She doesn't want to coparent with dad. She wants to see dad as the enemy because that works for her.

Ok...lets do this differently. If you were a GAL on this particular case, and you talked to the child and BELIEVED the child that his father hit him in the face and caused the bruise and cut, what would your recommendations be to the court?

 

[Ladyback1]

Ok...lets do this differently. If you were a GAL on this particular case, and you talked to the child and BELIEVED the child that his father hit him in the face and caused the bruise and cut, what would your recommendations be to the court?

But see....Mom didn't think it rose to the level of needing to involve the proper authorities. She does however, want to use it as an excuse to justify not sending the child to Dad's.

It can't be both....

 

[single317dad]

But see....Mom didn't think it rose to the level of needing to involve the proper authorities. She does however, want to use it as an excuse to justify not sending the child to Dad's.

It can't be both....

And that's the ticket right there. If your child is being, has been, or you fear they will be abused, the time to take action is right away, not later on when you get mad at the other parent.

Personally, I'd have skipped CPS and taken the issue straight to court, immediately. The family court judge is the "proper authority" IMO. The best CPS can do for you is take your side in court. Odds are you'll end up with a far less satisfying outcome.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ok...lets do this differently. If you were a GAL on this particular case, and you talked to the child and BELIEVED the child that his father hit him in the face and caused the bruise and cut, what would your recommendations be to the court?

Sorry but that is not the case here. If mom had filed in court and wanted to do this legally, then maybe a GAL would be appointed. But there is no need for a GAL recommendation because MOM doesn't want to go to court. She just wants to let junior choose. In that instance, I would be concerned about alienation by mom. Why? Because mom did nothing and just decided that junior shouldn't go. I would also be concerned about coaching or giving junior time to get his story straight. There are PROPER ways of doing things and improper ways. Mom is doing this the improper way. And is junior in counseling? I believe that was asked but I don't believe it was ever answered.

Oh and as a GAL I would also be talking to the father -- not just the child. I would be talking to the father and everyone else who was present if junior said his dad hit him. A GAL does NOT just talk to the child. A GAL is to do a FULL investigation and talk to EVERYONE (both parents, any collaterals AND the child).

ETA: I did edit this but that was to make it clearer.

 

[Proserpina]

14 year old teens have never been known to lie or embellish. Never would a teen play his parents off against each other.


Come ON.

 

[Ohiogal]

14 year old teens have never been known to lie or embellish. Never would a teen play his parents off against each other.


Come ON.

Can I have some of whatever you are drinking?

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry but that is not the case here. If mom had filed in court and wanted to do this legally, then maybe a GAL would be appointed. But there is no need for a GAL recommendation because MOM doesn't want to go to court. She just wants to let junior choose. In that instance, I would be concerned about alienation by mom. Why? Because mom did nothing and just decided that junior shouldn't go. I would also be concerned about coaching or giving junior time to get his story straight. There are PROPER ways of doing things and improper ways. Mom is doing this the improper way. And is junior in counseling? I believe that was asked but I don't believe it was ever answered.

Oh and as a GAL I would also be talking to the father -- not just the child. I would be talking to the father and everyone else who was present if junior said his dad hit him. A GAL does NOT just talk to the child. A GAL is to do a FULL investigation and talk to EVERYONE (both parents, any collaterals AND the child).

ETA: I did edit this but that was to make it clearer.

That really wasn't my question. I honestly wanted to know what your recommendations would be if you truly believed (after full investigation) that a father (or mother) had bruised and cut his/her child's face out of anger.

 

[Ohiogal]

That really wasn't my question. I honestly wanted to know what your recommendations would be if you truly believed (after full investigation) that a father (or mother) had bruised and cut his/her child's face out of anger.

And that depends on what the rest of the situation was. As a mandated reporter I would be REQUIRED to call CPS. What my recommendations would be depend on a whole heck of a lot more information. So can't answer that. You seem to think there is only ONE recommendation that could be made. And that is not true.

 

[LdiJ]

And that depends on what the rest of the situation was. As a mandated reporter I would be REQUIRED to call CPS. What my recommendations would be depend on a whole heck of a lot more information. So can't answer that. You seem to think there is only ONE recommendation that could be made. And that is not true.

I was honestly interested...I was not trying to be snarky.