Too Afraid To Go To Hearing Today

[MsTKirk]

Ya know what.....fugg it...i'm gonna air my drama and give a lil more info than i need to..i'm taking a lashing regarding this not showing up...hell ya i know it was wrong...i started off like a 'tuff girl' ended up acting like a baby?

WHY?????
<takin break after stating why, cause i know it's gonna kick-start those emotions again>

In jan. of this year i placed my mother into an assist. living facility..of course her transition was tuff, she swore she'd never go to one...jan 28..i get a call from the place stating my mom was taken to hospital cause she had fallen...she had broken her and shattered her leg (age 70)...march 12th she passed away

So there you all have it now, and now to deal with this case stuff..i'm strong one day and the next i feel kinda exhausted from it all

but, i got that tough 'outer shell' i try to maintain, sometimes it cracks though



i'm must truly sound pathetic at this point or just really unlucky in life

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you had an EC730 evaluation?
Why don't you have an attorney?
What county are you in?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Ya know what.....fugg it...i'm gonna air my drama and give a lil more info than i need to..i'm taking a lashing regarding this not showing up...hell ya i know it was wrong...i started off like a 'tuff girl' ended up acting like a baby?

WHY?????
<takin break after stating why, cause i know it's gonna kick-start those emotions again>

In jan. of this year i placed my mother into an assist. living facility..of course her transition was tuff, she swore she'd never go to one...jan 28..i get a call from the place stating my mom was taken to hospital cause she had fallen...she had broken her and shattered her leg (age 70)...march 12th she passed away

So there you all have it now, and now to deal with this case stuff..i'm strong one day and the next i feel kinda exhausted from it all

but, i got that tough 'outer shell' i try to maintain, sometimes it cracks though



i'm must truly sound pathetic at this point or just really unlucky in life

I'm sorry for your loss, but you have had these problems for a lot longer than this year. You are not going to get sole custody, you will be lucky to keep shared custody. You need to learn to share, the child you gave birth to has two parents, right now, you are not contributing your portion and what you are contributing is mostly stress and drama.

 

[MsTKirk]

i'm thinkin ..rmet4nzkx..doesn't want me to leave

those 5 letters demanding him to respect my parental rights to the child legally...are the end result of my polite, reasonable attempts at such..

how so?

well, i started a parent log book to be carried between homes..keeping each other updated on child's stuff...luckily, when he announced he didn't want to partake in it anymore..it ended up in my hands..so yes...i have him stating things of nature where he is telling me he changed the child's doctor, or telling me how he had ALREADY enrolled the child into sports, not that he was going to or how would i feel about it because it would occur on some of my weekend visitation times, basically i wanted him to confer on matters with me...he said FAT CHANCE

I hired an attorney in 2002..she is the one who put me in a worse position..it was under her representation i got to initial 10 sessions..hell at least on my own i only got 2 more added

tell ya what...rmet4nzkx...
I'm outta here for a while...how about you get me a link to rules of evidence so i can read up on em...after reading your mouthful of postings, i'm thinkin compared to mine i might have some competition here...i like ya

 

[rmet4nzkx]

i'm thinkin ..rmet4nzkx..doesn't want me to leave

those 5 letters demanding him to respect my parental rights to the child legally...are the end result of my polite, reasonable attempts at such..

how so?

well, i started a parent log book to be carried between homes..keeping each other updated on child's stuff...luckily, when he announced he didn't want to partake in it anymore..it ended up in my hands..so yes...i have him stating things of nature where he is telling me he changed the child's doctor, or telling me how he had ALREADY enrolled the child into sports, not that he was going to or how would i feel about it because it would occur on some of my weekend visitation times, basically i wanted him to confer on matters with me...he said FAT CHANCE

I hired an attorney in 2002..she is the one who put me in a worse position..it was under her representation i got to initial 10 sessions..hell at least on my own i only got 2 more added

tell ya what...rmet4nzkx...
I'm outta here for a while...how about you get me a link to rules of evidence so i can read up on em...after reading your mouthful of postings, i'm thinkin compared to mine i might have some competition here...i like ya

There are a number of rules of evidence, what county, each has a different set of local rules? Have you had an EC730 ? So you didn't do any of the court ordered therapy in 2002? So the 4 sessions you have done are really fromn 2002. It doesn't bode well. Was your appearnace before a judge or comissioner?

 

[psfunkytek]

You're not ready...

OP, I have a lot of compassion for you, I really do and I also know what it's like to be emotionally "beat down" by your ex, but the bottom line is that if you aren't strong enough to pull yourself together and go to court, then you're not strong enough yet to fight this battle. Fighting for custody is one of the toughest, most emotionally draining thing you will EVER do in your life and there is a VERY good chance that this hearing was the easy part.

I think you need to get yourself into counseling NOW! Start building your emotional strength and DO NOT FILE AGAIN UNTIL BOTH YOU AND YOUR THERAPISTS ARE SURE YOU ARE READY TO FACE THIS.

If you want the respect of the court, that's what you're going to have to do.

Oh, one more thing from reading your other posts. If you EVER feel like you cannot go to court, contact the court (or show up in court) AND ASK FOR A CONTINUANCE. You will almost always get one if you have a good cause, unless it's habitual. Anything is better than a no call no show.

Good luck.

 

[MsTKirk]

psfunkytek: i did contact the courts that morning...it was like they had never had this happen before...they kept trying to talk me into coming down there and i said ,'i was afraid to have the judge see me like i was because of the horror stories i've heard and it could have made the judge mad'...they asked the case name and number. She told me someone from the 'master calendar dept would call me back'...never heard from them, but that's because my husband went down there and stood-up on my behalf. He said they had to recess the courtroom because some lady passed-out during the hearing and the medical team came in, i started crying when he told me this, cause i so related to her...now imagine me have shown up crying and her passing out...good lord..the judge would have had plenty of table-talk to share at dinner that night.

rmet4nzkx: what the heck is ..."EC730" tried to find it so i looked it up as evidence code?? and...yes only have done 4 sessions towards the 10 that were required in 2002.

Ooook...went and look at those stipulations regarding the therapy..not on the mediator's report, but the ACTUAL court order...somethings not right here!!!

Oct. 11th <it was ordered after hearing>.....
mother's weekday visits on Monday, Tuesday, Thrusday and Friday are temporarily suspended until she completes the following:

a) a stop-smoking course and she has stopped smoking for at least 3 months
b) at least 6 months, weekly therapy, addressing adult relationship issues
c) an education class for parents

Matter continued to 30 days from now for review 11/12

Nov. 12th <orders after hearing>...
a) mother shall attend only 10 sessions of therapy
b) mother has enrolled in stop-smoking course, with only 1 class left to complete
c) mother has provided certificate of attendance to parenting class
d) once petitoner completes 10 sessions of therapy her visitation is to be extended to an additonal weekday visit.

Umm..why is it they said i could get all my weekday visits back in Oct...but then in Nov. (after i'm bustin butt enrolling in smoking course and parent class) if i complete the therapy i can now only get 1 weekday visit back?

no time constraints were given as to when therapy had to be completed.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

psfunkytek: i did contact the courts that morning...it was like they had never had this happen before...they kept trying to talk me into coming down there and i said ,'i was afraid to have the judge see me like i was because of the horror stories i've heard and it could have made the judge mad'...they asked the case name and number. She told me someone from the 'master calendar dept would call me back'...never heard from them, but that's because my husband went down there and stood-up on my behalf. He said they had to recess the courtroom because some lady passed-out during the hearing and the medical team came in, i started crying when he told me this, cause i so related to her...now imagine me have shown up crying and her passing out...good lord..the judge would have had plenty of table-talk to share at dinner that night.

rmet4nzkx: what the heck is ..."EC730" tried to find it so i looked it up as evidence code?? and...yes only have done 4 sessions towards the 10 that were required in 2002.

Ooook...went and look at those stipulations regarding the therapy..not on the mediator's report, but the ACTUAL court order...somethings not right here!!!

Oct. 11th <it was ordered after hearing>.....
mother's weekday visits on Monday, Tuesday, Thrusday and Friday are temporarily suspended until she completes the following:

a) a stop-smoking course and she has stopped smoking for at least 3 months
b) at least 6 months, weekly therapy, addressing adult relationship issues
c) an education class for parents

Matter continued to 30 days from now for review 11/12

Nov. 12th <orders after hearing>...
a) mother shall attend only 10 sessions of therapy
b) mother has enrolled in stop-smoking course, with only 1 class left to complete
c) mother has provided certificate of attendance to parenting class
d) once petitoner completes 10 sessions of therapy her visitation is to be extended to an additonal weekday visit.

Umm..why is it they said i could get all my weekday visits back in Oct...but then in Nov. (after i'm bustin butt enrolling in smoking course and parent class) if i complete the therapy i can now only get 1 weekday visit back?

no time constraints were given as to when therapy had to be completed.

Because YOU were not complient with the judges order, the order was amended, and they took away from you. So you have been in contempt of court all this time because you never even completed the resuced amount of therapy, 10 sessions, even though the father in good faith still allowed you visits. This pretty much wipes out what you consider your evidence.

Again, your attorney got you a good deal, all you had to do was follow the courts order and prove you were a fit parent. The therapy would have done you worlds of good, instead you enjoyed years of suffering of your own making. There is no one to blame but yourself for your situation.

Yes Evidence Code 730, I suggest you request that on Tuesday, that will give you a continuance and an objective evaluation of both parties. Again, nothing you have presented here would compel a judge to grant you sole custody, you may want to dismiss your petition until the EC 730 is complete and you have completed at least the original 6 months of court ordered therapy and your therapist agrees that you are ready to follow the courts orders. What county so I can point you in the right direction insofar as rules, etc..

 

[MsTKirk]

To Everyone That Responded To my Posting...

MY FINAL WORDS.....
<then I'll forever shut up..making some happy..as others might miss me>
and NO, we can't take a vote on that!!

You guys have been an awesome group!!!! I've printed up all the postings, so I can reflect on the "words of wisdom" offered. Thank you! <teary-eyeds

To think it's not even "that time of the month" yet and I'm gettin emotional over the thought of missing my "verbal lashings of reality" by all of you. Who's gonna be my support now??? Just kidding, I was paying attention...

It'll be my THERAPIST...right?
<see i'm not the dumb blonde after all>

FINAL UPDATE: The Judge had my Husband and, the Father to my son, wait til the end of the court calendar...then discussed what was going on. The Judge said it was fully understandable that these preceedings can be stressful. I guess my Husband and the Judge, kinda hit it off, I mean how often do get someone's Husband in court, that stand's up for her, cause she's at home crying.
<<tellin' ya, I'm actually one damn good woman, if you could only meet me>>
Anyways, as the Father is standing at the Defendant's table and my Husband and the Judge are conversing, supposebly the Father like huffed and rolled his head, and the Judge kinda took a tone to his voice telling the Father, to accept what's happened and has moved the court hearing.

BUT....<are ya paying close attention> ok ok....
The Judge allowed my Husband to speak a little (the courtroom was free of anyone else) only the Father, Judge and My Husband there.

My Husband says to the Judge, "A Crime Has Been Committed Here" and
"The Court Mediator Has Also Committed a Criminal Act", he says.
The Judge allows him to go on.. My husband informs the Judge about how the Mediator's Report clearly states, that the Father has been recording the mother/son phone conversations, and the Mediator then publishers exerts from it, in his report, to be used against my wife.

He goes on to say: furthermore, the Father speaks of eavesdropping on the mother/son phone conversations, and again the Mediator quotes exactly what was said during her conversations with her son. <<and NO...i wasn't talking any **** bout the father>>
<Judge's face and eyebrows raise, like "oh yeah">
Judge says:
There is a chance that laws have been broken, and the report was biased against the Petitioner, <whatever that means>....complex in nature, no doubt... no attorney will be appointed to the child because, that may cause further harm to an already "sticky-situtation". It appears that there might be other courts-of-concern brought into this matter .

Husband then offers the Judge a typed-out letter that my hubby wrote on my behalf, and the Judge "'nooo", don't give me that now, but he's very interested in it's contents, then explained the proper format on how to get it to him properly, and admitted as a "testimony".

GOD! I wish I could have been the FATHER , he must have been chittin with all this going down, right before him...see KARMA does exist.

I truly must be a 'nut case' ...I told my hubby not to tell me the new court date yet..let me soak all this in, without feeling overwhelmed by it all. i did ask if it's before the satrt of school in Sept..he said 'yes'. I then asked, if i can relax a little to breath and regain composure, so I don't blow it like an idiot this time around..he said..YES...He told me to slow down, calm down, eat something, and get some sleep, finally. *****WHEW*****

This is all unbelievable!! Only me the "Drama Queen" could it have happened to. Should another issue of despair pop-up in the my life..I'll be back!! You can count on it!!! xoxoxoxox GOD SPEED

rmet4nzkx:
I wanna stay in contact with you...how can we do that?? I think you'd love to hate me and i might consider you a good friend..who woulda thunk it

 

[casa]

To Everyone That Responded To my Posting...

MY FINAL WORDS.....
<then I'll forever shut up..making some happy..as others might miss me>
and NO, we can't take a vote on that!!

You guys have been an awesome group!!!! I've printed up all the postings, so I can reflect on the "words of wisdom" offered. Thank you! <teary-eyeds

To think it's not even "that time of the month" yet and I'm gettin emotional over the thought of missing my "verbal lashings of reality" by all of you. Who's gonna be my support now??? Just kidding, I was paying attention...

It'll be my THERAPIST...right?
<see i'm not the dumb blonde after all>

FINAL UPDATE: The Judge had my Husband and, the Father to my son, wait til the end of the court calendar...then discussed what was going on. The Judge said it was fully understandable that these preceedings can be stressful. I guess my Husband and the Judge, kinda hit it off, I mean how often do get someone's Husband in court, that stand's up for her, cause she's at home crying.
<<tellin' ya, I'm actually one damn good woman, if you could only meet me>>
Anyways, as the Father is standing at the Defendant's table and my Husband and the Judge are conversing, supposebly the Father like huffed and rolled his head, and the Judge kinda took a tone to his voice telling the Father, to accept what's happened and has moved the court hearing.

BUT....<are ya paying close attention> ok ok....
The Judge allowed my Husband to speak a little (the courtroom was free of anyone else) only the Father, Judge and My Husband there.

My Husband says to the Judge, "A Crime Has Been Committed Here" and
"The Court Mediator Has Also Committed a Criminal Act", he says.
The Judge allows him to go on.. My husband informs the Judge about how the Mediator's Report clearly states, that the Father has been recording the mother/son phone conversations, and the Mediator then publishers exerts from it, in his report, to be used against my wife.

He goes on to say: furthermore, the Father speaks of eavesdropping on the mother/son phone conversations, and again the Mediator quotes exactly what was said during her conversations with her son. <<and NO...i wasn't talking any **** bout the father>>
<Judge's face and eyebrows raise, like "oh yeah">
Judge says:
There is a chance that laws have been broken, and the report was biased against the Petitioner, <whatever that means>....complex in nature, no doubt... no attorney will be appointed to the child because, that may cause further harm to an already "sticky-situtation". It appears that there might be other courts-of-concern brought into this matter .

Husband then offers the Judge a typed-out letter that my hubby wrote on my behalf, and the Judge "'nooo", don't give me that now, but he's very interested in it's contents, then explained the proper format on how to get it to him properly, and admitted as a "testimony".

GOD! I wish I could have been the FATHER , he must have been chittin with all this going down, right before him...see KARMA does exist.

I truly must be a 'nut case' ...I told my hubby not to tell me the new court date yet..let me soak all this in, without feeling overwhelmed by it all. i did ask if it's before the satrt of school in Sept..he said 'yes'. I then asked, if i can relax a little to breath and regain composure, so I don't blow it like an idiot this time around..he said..YES...He told me to slow down, calm down, eat something, and get some sleep, finally. *****WHEW*****

This is all unbelievable!! Only me the "Drama Queen" could it have happened to. Should another issue of despair pop-up in the my life..I'll be back!! You can count on it!!! xoxoxoxox GOD SPEED

rmet4nzkx:
I wanna stay in contact with you...how can we do that?? I think you'd love to hate me and i might consider you a good friend..who woulda thunk it

Take the information you can use- and save your relationship w/your son.

 

[casa]

Because YOU were not complient with the judges order, the order was amended, and they took away from you. So you have been in contempt of court all this time because you never even completed the resuced amount of therapy, 10 sessions, even though the father in good faith still allowed you visits. This pretty much wipes out what you consider your evidence.

Again, your attorney got you a good deal, all you had to do was follow the courts order and prove you were a fit parent. The therapy would have done you worlds of good, instead you enjoyed years of suffering of your own making. There is no one to blame but yourself for your situation.

Yes Evidence Code 730, I suggest you request that on Tuesday, that will give you a continuance and an objective evaluation of both parties. Again, nothing you have presented here would compel a judge to grant you sole custody, you may want to dismiss your petition until the EC 730 is complete and you have completed at least the original 6 months of court ordered therapy and your therapist agrees that you are ready to follow the courts orders. What county so I can point you in the right direction insofar as rules, etc..

rmet- I dx Anxiety disorder...one X knew of way back 'when'.

a 730 would be a godsend- wonder if any party can afford it? I encouraged and gave up A LOT for one....

Priorities- Priorities.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

To Everyone That Responded To my Posting...

MY FINAL WORDS.....
<then I'll forever shut up..making some happy..as others might miss me>
and NO, we can't take a vote on that!!

You guys have been an awesome group!!!! I've printed up all the postings, so I can reflect on the "words of wisdom" offered. Thank you! <teary-eyeds

To think it's not even "that time of the month" yet and I'm gettin emotional over the thought of missing my "verbal lashings of reality" by all of you. Who's gonna be my support now??? Just kidding, I was paying attention...

It'll be my THERAPIST...right?
<see i'm not the dumb blonde after all>

FINAL UPDATE: The Judge had my Husband and, the Father to my son, wait til the end of the court calendar...then discussed what was going on. The Judge said it was fully understandable that these preceedings can be stressful. I guess my Husband and the Judge, kinda hit it off, I mean how often do get someone's Husband in court, that stand's up for her, cause she's at home crying.
<<tellin' ya, I'm actually one damn good woman, if you could only meet me>>
Anyways, as the Father is standing at the Defendant's table and my Husband and the Judge are conversing, supposebly the Father like huffed and rolled his head, and the Judge kinda took a tone to his voice telling the Father, to accept what's happened and has moved the court hearing.

BUT....<are ya paying close attention> ok ok....
The Judge allowed my Husband to speak a little (the courtroom was free of anyone else) only the Father, Judge and My Husband there.

My Husband says to the Judge, "A Crime Has Been Committed Here" and
"The Court Mediator Has Also Committed a Criminal Act", he says.
The Judge allows him to go on.. My husband informs the Judge about how the Mediator's Report clearly states, that the Father has been recording the mother/son phone conversations, and the Mediator then publishers exerts from it, in his report, to be used against my wife.

He goes on to say: furthermore, the Father speaks of eavesdropping on the mother/son phone conversations, and again the Mediator quotes exactly what was said during her conversations with her son. <<and NO...i wasn't talking any **** bout the father>>
<Judge's face and eyebrows raise, like "oh yeah">
Judge says:
There is a chance that laws have been broken, and the report was biased against the Petitioner, <whatever that means>....complex in nature, no doubt... no attorney will be appointed to the child because, that may cause further harm to an already "sticky-situtation". It appears that there might be other courts-of-concern brought into this matter .

Husband then offers the Judge a typed-out letter that my hubby wrote on my behalf, and the Judge "'nooo", don't give me that now, but he's very interested in it's contents, then explained the proper format on how to get it to him properly, and admitted as a "testimony".

GOD! I wish I could have been the FATHER , he must have been chittin with all this going down, right before him...see KARMA does exist.

I truly must be a 'nut case' ...I told my hubby not to tell me the new court date yet..let me soak all this in, without feeling overwhelmed by it all. i did ask if it's before the satrt of school in Sept..he said 'yes'. I then asked, if i can relax a little to breath and regain composure, so I don't blow it like an idiot this time around..he said..YES...He told me to slow down, calm down, eat something, and get some sleep, finally. *****WHEW*****

This is all unbelievable!! Only me the "Drama Queen" could it have happened to. Should another issue of despair pop-up in the my life..I'll be back!! You can count on it!!! xoxoxoxox GOD SPEED

rmet4nzkx:
I wanna stay in contact with you...how can we do that?? I think you'd love to hate me and i might consider you a good friend..who woulda thunk it

If you want to stay in contact you will have to enable the PM feature.

Nice try, no cigar.

You have been in contempt of court for 3 years!

You have abused the people on this board who have tried to help you and you apology doesn't ring true.

You need to be honest with everyone including yourself.

I'm not here for you to manipulate and play games with or to babysit you. It's time to grow up and start being responsible for your actions.

You need a licensed therapist, preferrably a psychologist not a LCSW or MFT.

Please request the EC730 evaluation on Tuesday. Please tell me the county so I can help you get this, remember if you want the father evaluated too, this is how you get that done.

Please print out all of these and give them to your therapist.

You were not in court and they cannot discuss evidence, they could discuss that you wanted to present evidence. I also don't see how, the judge could think it detramental for a GAL to be appointed for your child, I don't know how much of this is wishful deluded thinking or pure confabulation, but in either case you need therapy with a licensed psychologist and evaluation for medication by a psychiatrist, not another type of therapist or yourself.

Insofar as the business of the call recording, you have been recording him too, don't open up a pandora's box and they already have the harassing letters you have sent while you were in contempt of court.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=246212

12 states require both parties to agree as to being recorded. You can not do it with only one party's consent. For the rest other states, it only requires 1 party's consent to being recorded.

With regards to the 12 states that do require a 2-party consent to being recorded...violate it and you have now violated both Federal and Sate laws.

Fact: You can record anyone's phone conversations without their consent. But, to offer it to someone else to listen to, is a big NO-NO. Without consent you can only keep and hear that recorded conversation for your own personal enjoyment.......
Never tell me I'm WRONG, when you can't even offer the RIGHT!! To think I share the world with you people is unbelievable...poor poor me

Here' a link for you in case you find yourself wanting to be educated on, that of which you obviously know nothing about:

http://www.callcorder.com/phone-rec...law-america.htm

If you find it necessary to thank me later...don't bother!.....

Ya know "rmet4nzkx"....I truly think you're startin' to like me, go figure.
xoxox