Too Afraid To Go To Hearing Today

[tigger22472]

ps...i do have two other children..one daughter, 18, graduated with honors now in college..another son 13..7th grade honor roll student, he's way too perfect..as all my kids are..but now the youngest who's 11 is not as much the same as he used to be now that he's been living with the father..sports sports sports, he could careless about school

you still didn't answer the question about these children. Did these children live in your home raised primarily by you?

 

[ENASNI]

ahem

and too add if you say you went to 4 of the 12 therapy sessions... that does not mean you are listening., you can sit there with the TV guide for the 45 minutes and say you attended.
Sheesh woman. I may have not done much in this world but my daughter is a marvel... I have not even had to fight for her because her father is a prince among men. But what I read on these "pages" and what I read from you.. I can only see that you DO NOT SEE. and well yeah... the kids belong with their Daddy.

See them when you can. see them when it is good for you, see them when they want to.... give up the ghost.

 

[casa]

The turnaround on this thread is GREATLY upsetting to those of us who are genuinely dealing with parents who are trying to make us miserabley via our children...and who Fight to keep some sort of connection and order and stability in our lives.

YES I fight for my children- NO I haven't lost custody of either of them- YES I deal with someone who'd rather I quit.

I went out on a limb to give the benefit of the doubt, and have found myself sadly disappointed in the OP.

Lesson Learned.

 

[stealth2]

I'm astounded y'all even bothered carrying this out to 5 pages.

 

[BL]

I'm astounded y'all even bothered carrying this out to 5 pages.

You think those our the Last words ? I just had to peek , it's like the women's chanel true stories LOl

 

[seniorjudge]

...My knowledge supersedes most....

We would appreciate seeing this assertion demonstrated.

 

[MsTKirk]

Whew..what have i been missing...ya know the only person i feel might have a clue as to what i've been tryin to say..is "CASA".

Is there someone out there thinkin i'm trying to take my son from his father? cause that's hardly my intentions!! I raised my son from birth to age 7, along with my other two children(from the 1st marriage)..one big 'somewhat-happy' family. The father then gets custody of him and wammo, things have changed for the WORST...all i'm asking is for a reversal of physical custody or i might even consider just sole legal, leaving physical as is, that way he can't do anything sneaky without me knowing about it 1st.

mental note: 2 other children...the ex-husband and i have not been back to court regarding anything...it's been status quo, with clear skies, never has the word 'custody' been uttered.

odd: same mediator for both-divorce from ex case and...
custody issue w/the other father different case
two different outcomes...hmmm

 

[zippysgoddess]

And who said it was done at 5 pages?

It really doesn't look good to miss a hearing that you asked for, hopefull your DH did save your A**.

However, everyone else on here is right, you do need to comply and show cooperationg if you ever want to courts to see you in a different light.

 

[MsTKirk]

Trust me Zippy, i know what i did was "weak and feeble", i was all ready to walk out the door and call it stage fright, i dunno, i buckled...think i'll bring these 5 pages with me and tell the judge i've definitely been reprimanded for my actions by a forum of my newest peer-enimies...gotta luv ya all though..cause you're getting me through the weekend, while awaiting Tuesday morning to arrive (monday is a holiday)

 

[zippysgoddess]

Did you have to remind me of that? My son was home sick two days this week, he went back for one day and now he will be home for three in a row. I love him dearly, don't get me wrong, but sometimes he is a total handful, especially when he decides that since he is awake, everyone else should be as well and starts his silly question protocol.

I truly hope everything works out for the best for you, remember, everyone here is trying to help.

However, threatening someone with you care, is kind of rude!!

 

[BL]

I still wanna know who she is ? Is this some sorta " outta body experience " , or a " Double personality " , not a personality disorder ?

Oh maybe you learned to talk that way about yourself from the first 4 sessions .

It always amazed me , when people attend counseling , they say Her or Him , like they are not talking about " I " .

 

[MsTKirk]

TIGGER: just read your posting..about the proof/disproving

i had all my evidence in file folders according to the filing years of 2002,2002 and 2005 (being 1st one i wanted to show)...i was ready to pull out anything at a moment's notice, should the judge have wanted know why he should have granted me a longer hearing. I've gotta read up on the local rules of my court and see what proper form the need be in and filed in, quickly..but i'm ready, they're all neatly organized.

What's funny..is the more i read the father's response to my filing, and comparing it to what he had told the mediator, are two way different stories.

i made my phone calls to school officials got documented dates of enrollment
he claimed i don't take my son to the doctor's..i paid the $150 and got my son't big ole medical file, clearly states as to what parent brough the child in for visits, i only make and receive calls from his phone number via my cell phone, so i have 1 years worth of itemized call records, proving he never made attempts to call when he states specific dates that he had. I have all school records showing i showed up fopr confernces and only me..where he clearly states he has been the ONLY one to ever attend them...etc..

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Ugh, rmet4nzkx.....

ok, maybe ya missed something in my endless postings. But, my ass was saved yesterday in court. I do believe the hearing has been set to a "short cause calendar" or an "evidentary hearing", the date I don't know yet. That's what I was going to ask for, should I have showed up yesterday. So, that I could present my evidence.

No, I didn't miss anything in your endless postings. You are the one missing the point. I have better things to do than to continue to post to a person who is out of touch with reality, the only reason I do is for the sake of your child. You think and act lije this is a game.

Your number one priority yesterday was to attend court. If you are not competent for what ever reason, please hire an attorney to make your appearances and to advise you what is acceptable behavior in court and what is admissiable as evidence. This is going to cost you at least a $5,000 retianer given the history you have related. Not only was it your number one priority to attend court, but you should have found out what happened from your husband, before comming here and running off on this wild goose chase.

I asked a judge to comment on your thread and he declined stating that he had had his fill of drama.

It is obvious you have significant psychological problems and you need therapy indefinately and possibly medication. The mediator may make a reccommodation, but the court can and will inquire of the therapist as to your progress in therapy, don't think for a minute that 12 sessions will be enough.

Much of the evidence is not admissable or already considered. This is a court system based on rules and laws, not the Chinese Water Torture! You think if you continue to ignore reality and batter long enough you will get you way, but it doesn't work that way. You already lost primary custody of your child, in a situation which should have been almost certain for you to retain primary custody, you lost it because of your inappropriate behaviors and attitude,

and write this down, rmet4nzkx;
1. she has finished 4 of the 12 sessions so far (therapy)

That is a start, but you have repeatedly complained that you didn't need it and were refusing to attend, you certainly are not complient and your history is argumentative and oppositional. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

2. she hasn't smoked since august 2002

Good. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody. It is possible that the nicotine was a form on medication, are you on any psychiatric medications? If so, what type of doctor is perscribing them?

3. father has violated current custody/visitation orders and is a repeated filer for wanting all custody terminated, every time I pitch a fit about his his endless violations of the court orders, ex:
a) changed the child's school of attendance (told child don't tell mom)

He has the right to petition for modifications when there is a change in circumstances. Your threatening attitude would force any good parent to file for a modification in custody. If he was not justified or violating the orders, the court and the mediators would not be giving him more and you less.
a). He is primary custodal parent, if he moves he can change schools, his only limitation was to remain in the same county, there is no violation. These are not reasons in and of it's self to change custody.

b) doesn't 1st let me know about what he's enrolling our son into,til afterwards(stipulation in current orders state:must 1st tell other parent)

You are being picky, if he can move, he can change schools, he is providing you the required notice, there is no violation. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

c) moves to a different town, literally waits to have the apartment set up, then tells child to call me and give me new address (i never
even knew he had intentions of moving, farther away)

This is a repeat of the issues in a & b, asked and answered, thus you are beating a dead horse. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

d) put my son into therapy and refused to tell me what, if any issues my son was having to warrant the need of therapy (50% legal custody)

Since you do not believe in therapy and you were ordered to therapy, your consent is not required. Therapists in the State of California follow certain guidlines which include informed consent. Furtheremore, the child has rights to confidentiality, so unless there is an exception to the laws re confidentiality, the child or appropriate person signs a release, and there is a need, you as a parent are not entitled to any information other than that the child attended therapy. They can invite you to attend with them, tell you what they want, but DON'T ASK THEM OR BAGGER THEM to find out the contents of therapy. If it is related to court, the judge can request, testimoney, reports, which may also be confidential, even from you. There is no violation here. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

e) I wrote 5 letters reminding him of the court orders and to follow them

These letters have already been considered by the mediator and the judge advised, remember they said you were argumentative and the father was appropriate in his demeanor. This is harassment on your part and could affect your custody.

f) has been recording all my phone conversations with my son that i've been having.

As you have stated on another thread this is legal as long as it is for his own enjoyment and not shared and it won't be, nor will you share the recording you have been making. This is a non issue.

g) while awaiting the arrival of my son, on my visitation days, he at times has taken the child to his parents house 80 miles away and then claims, I was inagreement with him doing so, i must have forgotten he says.

This is he said, she said, and I suspect there is more to this story. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

h) refused to let me take my son to the dentist when he broke his tooth because it was on his time..for me to wait til my next visitation

It was his time, you were just trying to force yourself into his time. If you were a dedicated mother you would have appeared in court yesterday. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody.

i) has committed perjury in a major way within latest filing, yep i can disprove about 18 statements that he made within in.

If your proof of this is like the baove evidence, I suspect that you have no proof, no far there is little or no merit to your proof of facts. This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody, do you even know how to present this sort of "evidence"?

cont....

 

[rmet4nzkx]

tigger22472:Originally a court mediator in 2002 had reccomended, weekly sessions for 6 months to address the online computer use and parenting skills(nutrition,child appropriate movies etc..basically teach me how to be a mom..when i already have two older children...the typical battle over who's the better parent person, he lied about most but regardless it warranted me to be in need of therapy) he falsified many things in mediation and stupidly i didn't play the game back with him. BUT...the judge found that to be ridiculous because she didn't see what the need was for and she found me to be quite intelligible, but to make the father happy and not to over-ride the mediator she reduced it to 10

Did you attend the ordered therapy?
It was inappropriate for you to be on the adult sites with all your children around. Your compulsive and inappropriate behavior are typical of a personality disorder, something noted in the record, some of these disorders are very resistant to therapy. That was more important than your children and also suggested that your parenting skills were poor or you were distracted. I'm sure the judge wishes that they followed the mediator's reccommodation afterall. This issue from 2002 has already been addressed, don't open up a pandora's box! This is not reason in and of it's self to change custody as it is a dead issue.

But, those issues of comupter use are days long gone..i keep clear of chatrooms and this is my 1st forum type chat, never did this before.
I quit smoking like ordered. AND...i've already started the therapy even before the courts have entered it into a judgement..did so after receiving the mediators report. This mediator has only added on to it, by makin it 12 sessions needed total.

And your first adventure, right, you behave inappropriately, threatening to kill me, it seems you still have a serious problem. You need at least 1 year of anger management, parenting classes, therapy tfn and psychiatric and psychological evaluation EC730. Please ask for this evaluation, they will evaluate the father as well. What county are you in? There may be some additional services available. Remember that was was proposed prior to yesterday may all be modified by the judge. You need to follow court orders to the letter without complaint.

No i never did attempt them after the 2002 judgement because once the father he had what he wanted i was allowed to see my son whenever i wanted.

So once you attempted to behave more appropriately you had more access to your child, how is this a negative thing against the father?

ps...i do have two other children..one daughter, 18, graduated with honors now in college..another son 13..7th grade honor roll student, he's way too perfect..as all my kids are..but now the youngest who's 11 is not as much the same as he used to be now that he's been living with the father..sports sports sports, he could careless about school

They are not the subject of this court action. The father and son have a relationship, they do sports together, this is healthy and not at all unusual. If anything, the stress and drama you create may adversely affect your son more than being active in sports. Believe it or not, many people active in sports go on to be productive members of society, some even graduate from college with doctorates! The world doesn't revolve around you. Again, none of these issues are going to affect your custody in a positive manner.

So far it appears with all the supposed evidence you have little to further your cause. Please rethink this obsession you have and thing baout your son and his happiness and well being.

 

[MsTKirk]

Blonde...."she" be me...my frame of mind is in that court verbatum mode...ya know..he/she or Mr Yadda Yadda did this or Ms Yadaa Yadda did that or Petitioner/Respondent....i'm about to change my name to Petitoner..been called it so much.


psssst Tigger...it was not a threat to be taken seriously, regarding the car thingy,,,they had been giving me a hard time about a phrase i had used when i was trying to say i was always in a rush to get from here to there and back..my choosing of words to express such was "driving a 100+ mph"..didn't mean that's what i was actually, it was a figure of speech as was the cross the street in front when doing such

rmet4nzkx: adult sites?? i never said i was on adult websites...i said "adult chatrooms" meaning ones titled like "30 plus coffee house" or "Bay Area Chatroom over 30" not sex sites I only went into chatrooms while the kids were at school, after cleaning the house, i would have a blast bullchittin in them. The father could have cared less if i had ever completed the required therapy, him getting them to believe that i needed it, got the custody changed and reduced visitation..ONLY ON COURT PLEADING/JUDGEMENT...that following week after court, he was allowing me to take my son when i wanted to..his only motivation was to get custody for a tax purposes...the only time court orders are strictly followed and wanting them enforced by him...is two weeks prior to a hearing and two weeks after..standard m.o. from him