N.Piearcy

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

You need to comprehend a few things.

The courts will expect your husband to pay child support in the amount granted by law. If not he can expect the consequences from liens on his property and bank accounts to seizures of refunds to spending time in jail.

If mom wanted to, she can get a restraining order against your third party interference. She can get restrictions placed to limit you being around her child or to force dad to only have visitation if you are not around.

Reasonable is not four hours before a visit. It is 24 hours. Heck mom was asking for the night before. Dad doesn't get to dictate that he gets the child in ten minutes. Mom has a life. Dad has nothing else on his plate. He needs to get a job though.

YOU need to stay out of it. Completely. YOU are NOT tied to the mother or the child. You are only tied to your hubby and he can sever that tie by divorcing you if you don't have children together.

It hurts that he cheated on you with her doesn't it? Or chose her first and had a baby with her? Get over it.

ETA: This is in response to her thread What is "reasonable" which she deleted after receiving the legal responses. As a stepmother she has no rights to the child, nor should she be interfering with the situation. Dad needs to step up and follow the court orders for child support or he most likely WILL be found in contempt. If he is not paying support he is a deadbeat. Also he should not be expecting mom to jump at his demands on a few hours notice.

 

[N.Piearcy]

Whatever.

To top it all off, the mother said he absolutely cannot have this friday or saturday!! She has "plans" for her other kids birthday!

She can't do THAT, right??? If he does give her 24hr notice, she HAS to turn the kid over to him right??

 

[N.Piearcy]

Oh and he DID NOT cheat on me! We were broken up for a year and she took advantage of that! I think they dated for 8-9 months.

But he came right back to ME where he belongs.

 

[Proserpina]

Whatever.

To top it all off, the mother said he absolutely cannot have this friday or saturday!! She has "plans" for her other kids birthday!

She can't do THAT, right??? If he does give her 24hr notice, she HAS to turn the kid over to him right??

Perhaps.

Dad might benefit from actually trying to coparent his child (a little latitude and flexibility works wonders).

 

[Proserpina]

Oh and he DID NOT cheat on me! We were broken up for a year and she took advantage of that! I think they dated for 8-9 months.

But he came right back to ME where he belongs.

HE took advantage of that.

She kicked him out, didn't she?

 

[N.Piearcy]

HE took advantage of that.

She kicked him out, didn't she?

they didnt live together. but he broke up with HER after he told her to get an abortion and she refused! we wouldnt be in this mess if she had listened! men should have a choice too!

 

[Proserpina]

they didnt live together. but he broke up with HER after he told her to get an abortion and she refused! we wouldnt be in this mess if she had listened! men should have a choice too!

They do.

They can choose not to have sex. There's ALWAYS a pregnancy risk with sex. Basic biology.

This shouldn't need to be said, but....Dad has absolutely NO say.

Daddy dearest needs to parent his child. And you still have no business interfering.

 

[Ohiogal]

they didnt live together. but he broke up with HER after he told her to get an abortion and she refused! we wouldnt be in this mess if she had listened! men should have a choice too!

He did have a choice. he didn't have to stick his penis inside of her. He chose to do that. And I now understand your bitterness. He left you and went to her and they have a baby. You are bitter because the baby exists and he CHOSE HER over you while you were "broken up" or "on a break" or whatever. She was good enough for him to date for 8-9 months. You need to get over your bitterness or mom will be getting a restraining order against you to protect the child.

 

[Isis1]

they didnt live together. but he broke up with HER after he told her to get an abortion and she refused! we wouldnt be in this mess if she had listened! men should have a choice too!

so you took her dirty left overs AGAIN??? are YOU serious?? woman, will you please go get some therapy.

 

[Ohiogal]

Whatever.

To top it all off, the mother said he absolutely cannot have this friday or saturday!! She has "plans" for her other kids birthday!

She can't do THAT, right??? If he does give her 24hr notice, she HAS to turn the kid over to him right??

She can do that. Dad can take her back to court and try to get a more defined schedule if he wants. At that time mom should be able to get a restraining order against you prohibiting your interference and interaction with this child who you resent.

 

[N.Piearcy]

She can do that. Dad can take her back to court and try to get a more defined schedule if he wants. At that time mom should be able to get a restraining order against you prohibiting your interference and interaction with this child who you resent.

Well the whole reason they did the 'reasonable notice' thing is because she was expecting him to go back to work and claimed at the time she was willing to work with him on that so he didnt miss visits. (He normally works out of state)

I don't resent the baby. I love her with all my heart. my husband tried to talk the mother into giving her to us to raise, cause she obviously can't do it without HIS money! Lets see how she likes paying child support! If the mother is ever out of the picture i will be right here waiting to be the best mommy to this little girl

 

[Isis1]

Well the whole reason they did the 'reasonable notice' thing is because she was expecting him to go back to work and claimed at the time she was willing to work with him on that so he didnt miss visits. (He normally works out of state)

I don't resent the baby. I love her with all my heart. my husband tried to talk the mother into giving her to us to raise, cause she obviously can't do it without HIS money! Lets see how she likes paying child support! If the mother is ever out of the picture i will be right here waiting to be the best mommy to this little girl

i'm going to repeat myself....woman go get some therapy. or a puppy. this child is not yours and you will not be taking over. he chose to have sex with her, he chose to risk having a baby with her, so he chooses to give his paycheck to her for 18 years. funny, he sure is making a long time commitment with her isn't he?

 

[Zigner]

If the mother is ever out of the picture i will be right here waiting to be the best mommy to this little girl

Good Lord - I hope the MOTHER of the child gets a restraining order QUICKLY!

 

[N.Piearcy]

Look at this, we cannot win!!

I told my husband that the mother asking for 24 hrs notice IS reasonable of her.
So he texted her to cancel the visit for 2pm today, and asked for 2pm tomorrow instead and she got MAD! Saying she had already rearranged her plans!! Then tried to make him feel guilty by saying she would change plans AGAIN so he could see his daughter when he wanted to! Its a lose-lose situation.

 

[Isis1]

Look at this, we cannot win!!

I told my husband that the mother asking for 24 hrs notice IS reasonable of her.
So he texted her to cancel the visit for 2pm today, and asked for 2pm tomorrow instead and she got MAD! Saying she had already rearranged her plans!! Then tried to make him feel guilty by saying she would change plans AGAIN so he could see his daughter when he wanted to! Its a lose-lose situation.

omg in heaven....she's actually going to change HER life around so he can see his child??? oh that does it!! WHAT A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WOMAN!! go get that child right now. that "mother" ought to be shot instantly.