What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
Father and I currently share 50/50 custody. For the last 6 months our son hasn't wanted to go back to his fathers house when our week was over. He still goes sometimes but it's not 50/50 anymore for sure. Generally son will send a text to dad to ask if it's alright or tell him he's not coming and his father goes along with it without too much of a stink most of the time.
Son doesn't like the environment - it's often high stress being around his dad. They argue and his dad has a short fuse and likes to "maintain control" by getting physical: throwing/breaking stuff in sons room, yelling, charging at him, twisting his words, etc. I know all these things to be true because I lived this life for 10 years. Father says everything is fine and that son just doesn't want to do his chores. He says son is mouthy and lazy and that's why things get heated. Son IS mouthy, that is true... come on, he's 14. Kinda to be expected. During his last visit his dad grabbed his fists hard and while yelling in his face, banged sons own fist into his face and left a cut and bruise under his eye. While son may have set him off somehow, this reaction is scary and over the top. This is why he wants outta there.
His fathers reactions and behavior really bothers me - it's one of the reasons I divorced him. That being said, his dad does have 50% custody at the present moment so I don't want to get myself into hot water by backing my son in his refusal to go back to dads. I'm in a position now where I can't physically force him into the car, and I am not going to allow his dad to come drag him out of my house, so what am I expected to do? I understand where my son is coming from, so at what point does protecting his health and happiness become the #1 priority?
I realize I can petition the court and they will likely be willing to listen to our son. I guess the other option is that he just doesn't go over there anymore and we'll see what ex does about it, if anything. I doubt he wants to deal with court, and I don't particularly either but I don't want to be in contempt for protecting my kid.