Grandmas husband trying to put her in a home!

[Ilynat]

California here hello,
How can I protect my family my grandmas moocher husband is trying to put her in a home because she’s sick and doesn’t want to take care of her. Which he hardly ever does he literally leaves her at home alone. My mom is always taking care of her. My mom also runs her business and does everything. My mom pushed his shoulder the other day because we are all honestly so tired of him and he called police playing the victim.. now he’s trying to get a restraining order against her. He’s also been secretly recording my mom taking care of my grandma. He is going crazy right now cause their stimulus haven’t came so he is accusing my mom of stealing it. We don’t want him to put her in a home or trying to stop us from seeing my grandma.. please help. Before my grandma was able she really wanted to protect herself but police couldn’t do much for us.

 

[Ohiogal]

California here hello,
How can I protect my family my grandmas moocher husband is trying to put her in a home because she’s sick and doesn’t want to take care of her. Which he hardly ever does he literally leaves her at home alone. My mom is always taking care of her. My mom also runs her business and does everything. My mom pushed his shoulder the other day because we are all honestly so tired of him and he called police playing the victim.. now he’s trying to get a restraining order against her. He’s also been secretly recording my mom taking care of my grandma. He is going crazy right now cause their stimulus haven’t came so he is accusing my mom of stealing it. We don’t want him to put her in a home or trying to stop us from seeing my grandma.. please help. Before my grandma was able she really wanted to protect herself but police couldn’t do much for us.

Your grandmother's husband is the next of kin. He is in charge and his say is the only one UNLESS there have already been legal documents. Your mother committed assault. Playing the victim? No. Your mother is a criminal. She assaulted him. He can get a restraining order. Why should police do anything for abusive family members?

 

[Ilynat]

Your grandmother's husband is the next of kin. He is in charge and his say is the only one UNLESS there have already been legal documents. Your mother committed assault. Playing the victim? No. Your mother is a criminal. She assaulted him. He can get a restraining order. Why should police do anything for abusive family members?

Can we make her sign something that she does not want to be in a home? A little finger shove is not a criminal. He is a criminal he’s a con. He looked for my grandma because she is way older than him never worked a day in his life and drained her for all her money. Now he wants her to suffer and die alone so he can leave out of state like he always did. We don’t know if he hits her my grandma has a bad head injury from a hit. He always verbally abuses my grandma leaves her in her pee let’s her fall off the bed! To say that my mom is a criminal for protecting her mom is crazy when he wants my grandma to die!

 

[Just Blue]

Can we make her sign something that she does not want to be in a home? A little finger shove is not a criminal. He is a criminal he’s a con. He looked for my grandma because she is way older than him never worked a day in his life and drained her for all her money. Now he wants her to suffer and die alone so he can leave out of state like he always did. We don’t know if he hits her my grandma has a bad head injury from a hit. He always verbally abuses my grandma leaves her in her pee let’s her fall off the bed! To say that my mom is a criminal for protecting her mom is crazy when he wants my grandma to die!

No. You can not "make" her sign anything. And, yes. You mothers action(s) are considered assault. If you are concerned for your grandmother, call Elder Services and report your suspicions to them.

Just so you are aware: Ohiogal is a site vetted attorney. Everything she posted to you is accurate.

 

[Ilynat]

No. You can not "make" her sign anything. And, yes. You mothers action(s) are considered assault. If you are concerned for your grandmother, call Elder Services and report your suspicions to them.

Just so you are aware: Ohiogal is a site vetted attorney. Everything she posted to you is accurate.

My grandma has already told us she does not want to be in a home though can we record her telling us that can we take her to get a poa. There has to be something we can do literally he has ruined her whole life she has suffered because of him.
We’ve tried that already I’ve taken my grandma to the police station I’ve called social services so many times. She has a drs appointment tmrw and the dr wants to talk to my mom because her husband went over there to tell them he wants to put her in a home. Showing them the secretly recorded videos of my mom taking care of my grandma.

for being a professional attorney she has no heart. I don’t expect much though I worked in an office and all of them were just money hungry nasty people.

 

[eerelations]

Take over her care. Totally. Tell him that all he has to do is live there; anything else that's required will be handled by you and your family.

 

[Ilynat]

Take over her care. Totally. Tell him that all he has to do is live there; anything else that's required will be handled by you and your family.

We basically are but we want to have it written or something it’s like he doesn’t want us near her. He wants to get her out the house so he can sell it and go back to his home country. To him it’s all about money which we don’t care he can keep it all we just want my grandma to be able to be home in these times while she’s sick. We don’t want her to pass away in a old ppl home where we can’t see her.
He’s making it seem like only he takes care of her so it can look good on his end. We’re just stuck.

 

[Ilynat]

I should add they had a caretaker from the city that helped them and he fired her.

 

[Just Blue]

for being a professional attorney she has no heart. I don’t expect much though I worked in an office and all of them were just money hungry nasty people.

What an extraordinary rude and idiotic thing to say! You come to a legal site looking for advice and one of the attorney volunteers advises you (for FREE) and this is how you respond? Nice.

smh...

 

[Taxing Matters]

California here hello,
How can I protect my family my grandmas moocher husband is trying to put her in a home because she’s sick and doesn’t want to take care of her. Which he hardly ever does he literally leaves her at home alone. My mom is always taking care of her. My mom also runs her business and does everything.

Is your grandmother mentally competent? If so, then she has the power to decide where she goes and what care she gets. If she doesn't want to go to a nursing home and your family can care for her, she can make that choice. But bear in mind she did marry her husband and despite how you all feel about him she may love him and may take his wishes into account. If she's competent, all you can really do is give her the options you have for her to stay out of the nursing home. It'll then be up to her to decide what she wants.

My mom pushed his shoulder the other day because we are all honestly so tired of him and he called police playing the victim.

No matter how frustrated you get with someone else, never ever hit, push, or otherwise initiate unwanted physical contact with them. By doing that in California that amounts to the crime of battery even if no injury results from it. A simple battery is a misdemeanor that can get you up to six months in jail. So while you don't like the man and might even feel that the push was justified, strictly speaking your mother did commit an offense in pushing/punching him. The police didn't arrest her and apparently she's not facing charges, for which she should consider herself lucky, but that incident does help set up the potential for the protection order that he is now seeking.

First step for you mom is to seek advice and help from an attorney if he has actually filed for the order of protection. If he succeeds, that may block her from being able to see your grandmother and care for her. Then, assuming your grandmother is competent, talk to her to determine what she wants (without pressuring her to do what you want her to do). This should be about helping her get the life she wants to have, assuming that what she wants is doable. Then you go from there. If possible, work out an arrangement that satisfies her and her husband. If he's just interested in doing his own thing and not really caring for her, then offering to do all the work of caring for her without him needing to pay anything would probably be something he'd go for.

If your grandmother is not mentally competent, then the only way for your mother to get control of the situation is get appointed the guardian of your grandmother. That isn't going to be easy if her husband contests it since he'd usually be first in line for being appointed guardian if he wanted that.

 

[Ilynat]

What an extraordinary rude and idiotic thing to say! You come to a legal site looking for advice and one of the attorney volunteers advises you (for FREE) and this is how you respond? Nice.

smh...

How old are you dude. Grow some.

 

[cbg]

I was going to post something here but since this OP clearly thinks that her POV is the only possible one and anyone who disagrees in the slightest is wrong, I'm not going to waste my time.

 

[Ilynat]

Is your grandmother mentally competent? If so, then she has the power to decide where she goes and what care she gets. If she doesn't want to go to a nursing home and your family can care for her, she can make that choice. But bear in mind she did marry her husband and despite how you all feel about him she may love him and may take his wishes into account. If she's competent, all you can really do is give her the options you have for her to stay out of the nursing home. It'll then be up to her to decide what she wants.



No matter how frustrated you get with someone else, never ever hit, push, or otherwise initiate unwanted physical contact with them. By doing that in California that amounts to the crime of battery even if no injury results from it. A simple battery is a misdemeanor that can get you up to six months in jail. So while you don't like the man and might even feel that the push was justified, strictly speaking your mother did commit an offense in pushing/punching him. The police didn't arrest her and apparently she's not facing charges, for which she should consider herself lucky, but that incident does help set up the potential for the protection order that he is now seeking.

First step for you mom is to seek advice and help from an attorney if he has actually filed for the order of protection. If he succeeds, that may block her from being able to see your grandmother and care for her. Then, assuming your grandmother is competent, talk to her to determine what she wants (without pressuring her to do what you want her to do). This should be about helping her get the life she wants to have, assuming that what she wants is doable. Then you go from there. If possible, work out an arrangement that satisfies her and her husband. If he's just interested in doing his own thing and not really caring for her, then offering to do all the work of caring for her without him needing to pay anything would probably be something he'd go for.

If your grandmother is not mentally competent, then the only way for your mother to get control of the situation is get appointed the guardian of your grandmother. That isn't going to be easy if her husband contests it since he'd usually be first in line for being appointed guardian if he wanted that.

She’s like off and on. She has her good where she’s fine then her bad but she will tell us that she wants to be in her house.
Yes I understand that but when she started getting sick she was looking for ways to protect her self she got to write her will just recently but not this she did want to protect herself from this because now look we are in the position she was talking about.
When she gets worse though I’m saying how can we protect her then.. seems like none?

Yeah it’s not right I understand it just frustrates me how someone would want the worst for their partner. In sickness. She is lucky. Thankfully the police didn’t care. They told them to call social services?

All this because their stimulus haven’t came in the mail.

Thank you so much for all that info it is going to be a hard one. He wants her to die already sadly.
What would be the perfect attorney for these kinds of cases elderly law?

 

[Ilynat]

I was going to post something here but since this OP clearly thinks that her POV is the only possible one and anyone who disagrees in the slightest is wrong, I'm not going to waste my time.

Thank you for posting something .

 

[Ilynat]

It’s always the same profiles on here talking nasty stuff to people tag teaming on them. No heart.