change in visitation or a custody modification??

[tigger22472]

I was going to say exactly what Mommyto4 said

Really the only thing for sure I see right now that dad could MAYBE do is file for a modification based on the time HE has the children to reduce child support and have more available to provide these things for the children on his time.

 

[ceara19]

awww Thanks guys and gals for your opinions

Can honestly say that after reading other post on here. It's either to much detail or not enough. A no win situation..

We had an attorney. like so many others out there all it did was put a dent in the ole wallet. But then again there is that old saying. Money talks and bullchit walks.

It's not about what's in the child's best interests this day in age obviously. It's about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!

1. BIO MOM does NOT inform hubby or myself of anything.

You are going to tick off a lot of very intelligent individuals with quite a bit of knowledge and experience that could be of great help to you by calling the mother the "BIO MOM". Believe it or not, that one little phrase says a lot about you.

She is the MOTHER of these children. The ONLY MOTHER. Whether YOU think she is a good mother or a bad mother is totally irrelevant.

2. My hubby picks his daughters up 7:00 every morning. To exercize back up care. BIO Mom picks the girls up when she gets off work at 6:00pm.

Lose the BIO! Would he rather have the children going to daycare?

3. She DOES NOT provide anything, no diapers food or anything.

She provides these items in her home and dad provides them in his. That's just the way it works.

4. They both are fed 3 complete meals a day along with a snack between meals.

That's good, growing children NEED to eat.

5. The ONLY day these girls are not in our care is every other Thursday.

Again, would dad rather they be in daycare?

6. He pays faithfully $525.00 a month CS

As he should if that's what the court has ordered.

7. We take them to all of their Doctors appointments.

YOU shouldn't be bring them for any medical treatment that is not an emergency. Other then that, what's the problem?

8. The girls get a bath before BIO Mom gets here because they didn't appear to be getting one at home. Both staying raw, bad body odor or still in the same clothes from the day before.

And your point is.... Wearing the same clothes and not getting a bath in the 10-12 hours that they are with mom is NOT going to harm the children. My daughter has eczema, she CAN'T have a shower/bath EVERYDAY when the humidity is low. If the kids have bad BO because they go for 24 hours without a bath, may dad should bring it up to the doctor next time he takes them. Children this young don't have fully developed sweat glands and should not have bad BO regularly.

9. I wash the girls clothing and put the clothing back on them to go home in.

OK

10. I would inform BIO MOM that the girls have had dinner, baths washed clothing and all. also to let her know how their day went.

Again, lose the BIO. Legally, you're nothing more then a glorified babysitter. As such, you SHOULD give the MOTHER this information.

11. Last 3 days SD had different clothes on but the SAME PANTIES. Ok yes I washed them. they're clean. But what if I hadn't of washed them or given them a bath?

If you washed them and they are clean, why would she need to change them. Besides, next time your at the store, swing by the little girls underwear department. You'll notice that many packages of panties have several pair of IDENTICAL panties. Are you positive that she was wearing the SAME pair and not just a different IDENTICAL pair?

 

[Ohiogal]

awww Thanks guys and gals for your opinions

Can honestly say that after reading other post on here. It's either to much detail or not enough. A no win situation..

We had an attorney. like so many others out there all it did was put a dent in the ole wallet. But then again there is that old saying. Money talks and bullchit walks.

It's not about what's in the child's best interests this day in age obviously. It's about MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!

1. BIO MOM does NOT inform hubby or myself of anything.

BIO MOM is actually MOM. She does nto have to inform YOU of anything. As for informing dad -- what types of things is dad not informed of.
2. My hubby picks his daughters up 7:00 every morning. To exercize back up care. BIO Mom picks the girls up when she gets off work at 6:00pm.

QUIT calling her bio mom. That is very disrespectful and very annoying. And what does this have to do with anything truthfully? It is not going to get a custody change. Apparently from the sounds of this there is a ROFR.

3. She DOES NOT provide anything, no diapers food or anything.

DAD IS A PARENT! Dad should provide things. Dad has a responsibility to provide for his children.

4. They both are fed 3 complete meals a day along with a snack between meals.

So the girls are not neglected.

5. The ONLY day these girls are not in our care is every other Thursday.

Okay. Dad does not have to take them every day. He could say no.

6. He pays faithfully $525.00 a month CS

Which truthfully doesn't seem like a lot.

7. We take them to all of their Doctors appointments.

That is something else a parent does. If you are annoyed don't do it.

8. The girls get a bath before BIO Mom gets here because they didn't appear to be getting one at home. Both staying raw, bad body odor or still in the same clothes from the day before.

Again knock off the fricking bio mom deal. You are totally out of line. And you are making assumptions. You dont know what happens at mom's house.


9. I wash the girls clothing and put the clothing back on them to go home in.

Think you are a bit over the top here.

10. I would inform BIO MOM that the girls have had dinner, baths washed clothing and all. also to let her know how their day went.
11. Last 3 days SD had different clothes on but the SAME PANTIES. Ok yes I washed them. they're clean. But what if I hadn't of washed them or given them a bath?

Did you ever think SD dresses herself and chooses what she wants to wear?

 

[yourock]

back off stepmom you are too involved

" IS THIS IN OUR CHILDREN'S BEST INTERESTS?"What is the name of your state?[/QUOTE]
you really need to get this "our"children out of your vocabulary, they are your husband's children with his ex, not yours. as another poster stated, legally, you are nothing here, and you shouldnt be involved. what goes on at mom's house is not YOUR business.the only people in this are mom, dad and the kids, not mom, dad, the kids, and stepmom. why do you think YOU have the right to be informed about anything concerning these kids? you are not their mother OR father.

 

[GrowUp!]

" IS THIS IN OUR CHILDREN'S BEST INTERESTS?"What is the name of your state?
you really need to get this "our"children out of your vocabulary, they are your husband's children with his ex, not yours. as another poster stated, legally, you are nothing here, and you shouldnt be involved. what goes on at mom's house is not YOUR business.the only people in this are mom, dad and the kids, not mom, dad, the kids, and stepmom. why do you think YOU have the right to be informed about anything concerning these kids?

Hey there Kelly.

 

[ConcerndStepmom]

lol Just wanted to say in his order Mother is suppose to PROVIDE everything.. It also states that in the Standard Shared Parenting model..
Since she is the primary residential parent and he is the NCP

 

[Halls]

Ok, than dad can file contempt if he wants, but seriously what is the big deal? Is dad not a parent to his children where he has to rely on the mother to provide for them in his home? Dad has issues with providing for his own children it seems than maybe he should tell mom he can't keep them on his time since he is so bitter and doesn't want to provide clothing, food for his kids in his home.

 

[mommyto4]

lol Just wanted to say in his order Mother is suppose to PROVIDE everything.. It also states that in the Standard Shared Parenting model..
Since she is the primary residential parent and he is the NCP

Oh really?!? If I were the MOM I would have contested that one! If thats what it actually says.

 

[Halls]

even if that is what it says I find it so petty and rediculous. I think since dad has totaly issues with having to take care of his kids than he should tell mom she can find someone to take care of them since he doesn't want to provide food, diapers, and whatever these babies need.

 

[CJane]

I was going to say exactly what Mommyto4 said

Really the only thing for sure I see right now that dad could MAYBE do is file for a modification based on the time HE has the children to reduce child support and have more available to provide these things for the children on his time.

I don't know about TX, but I can tell you that in MO, if the parent (or step-parent) is essentially just providing child care, it doesn't count as parenting time and cannot be used to attempt to modify custody. BTDT.

 

[Noelle_71]

lol Just wanted to say in his order Mother is suppose to PROVIDE everything.. It also states that in the Standard Shared Parenting model..
Since she is the primary residential parent and he is the NCP

Okay, I can't read your whole posts, you are venting and looking for a pat on the back that most of us aren't going to give you.
But concerning this post...

It doesn't work that way. Each parent takes care of there own end of things. Certainly no one expects a parent to send food, clothing, toys, toilet paper, shampoo..that's everything, right? Get my drift? You seem to think that's how it works. It doesn't. Time with Dad, dad provides. Time with Mom, mom provides. If it's unfair and the kids spend more time with Dad, get a lawyer and get it modified.
You are WAY too involved in this. I suggest one of two things. If kids are so horribly treated in mothers care, call CPS. As long as you aren't afraid of what they might find at your house as well, go for it.
Secondly, sounds to me like you want to take the mother's place. Might I suggest that you have a child of your own and mother that one? These aren't your children. The mother is the mother and you are your husbands wife. That's it. That's all. These aren't your children, there is no "our lawyer, our kids, our child support, etc". You can be concerned, but you aren't a parent and you really have no input other than into your husbands ear.
Look, I understand that you are trying to be better than the mother, you feel the need to prove that you can be a better parent. But belittling the mother and elevating yourself only serves to give you some kind of mental perk.
The previous posters that said you were a babysitter are right, if you don't want to deal with it, don't. If you want to be a mommy, have your own children.
When you marry a man with kids, you have to step back and remember you aren't the mother, you are the wife.

 

[ConcerndStepmom]

I was going to say exactly what Mommyto4 said

Really the only thing for sure I see right now that dad could MAYBE do is file for a modification based on the time HE has the children to reduce child support and have more available to provide these things for the children on his time.

Thank you tigger. Child Support is not an issue. It's getting the MOTHER to take part in what a primary residential parent is suppose to take part in. instead of just providing a bed for them to sleep in.

Again knock off the fricking bio mom deal. You are totally out of line. And you are making assumptions. You dont know what happens at mom's house.

Again knock off the fricking bio mom deal. You are totally out of line. And you are making assumptions. You dont know what happens at mom's house.

lol forget to take your pill this morning. You obviously need to seek anger management.
I don't make assumptions. When a child is raw and complains it's obvious. She the SD has told the Doctor that she does not get a bath at her MOTHER'S (happy ) HOUSE.

yourock " IS THIS IN OUR CHILDREN'S BEST INTERESTS?"What is the name of your state?

you really need to get this "our"children out of your vocabulary, they are your husband's children with his ex, not yours. as another poster stated, legally, you are nothing here, and you shouldnt be involved. what goes on at mom's house is not YOUR business.the only people in this are mom, dad and the kids, not mom, dad, the kids, and stepmom. why do you think YOU have the right to be informed about anything concerning these kids? you are not their mother OR father [/QUOTE]

You would be correct I am the "STEP MOTHER" of these two beautiful girls and a MOTHER to 3 of my own . You asked why I should be INFORMED. I do believe you missed the part to where the girls are in "OUR CARE" (father & STEP MOM) for 11 + hrs a day 6 days a week.

" The best interests of OUR Children" is speaking in general not just in this case but through out the world.

So get OVER it already. And whether you want to except it or not. We are married so there for they are MY CHILDREN too. Should I treat them any differently than MY OWN CHILDREN? NO.. I didn't think so.

So the girls are not neglected.

Never said the girls were being NEGLECTED. How ever their MOTHER is.

Did you ever think SD dresses herself and chooses what she wants to wear?

lol I know for a fact that she doesn't dress her self. How do I know this because when you ask her, She will tell you because mommy didn't tell me too or Mommy didn't give me none to put on.

YES I am aware that a child @ 6 years old should be able to dress their self completely, brush their hair, teeth and so forth. Also should be able to bathe and wipe their slef when they go potty. But SD does not do this without someone telling her to.

I have to finish cooking lunch will check back shortly for anymore bullets.. lol
I am headstrong. I know what's right and what's wrong.

 

[Halls]

No, No, No, just because you married the father does not make you the mother to these kids. These are not your kids and until you start to see that and realize you are nothing more than a glorified babysitter I feel so sorry for those stepkids. In fact I worry about them more in your care than their mother's.

 

[Noelle_71]

Thank you tigger. Child Support is not an issue. It's getting the MOTHER to take part in what a primary residential parent is suppose to take part in. instead of just providing a bed for them to sleep in.

Again knock off the fricking bio mom deal. You are totally out of line. And you are making assumptions. You dont know what happens at mom's house.



lol forget to take your pill this morning. You obviously need to seek anger management.
I don't make assumptions. When a child is raw and complains it's obvious. She the SD has told the Doctor that she does not get a bath at her MOTHER'S (happy ) HOUSE.


you really need to get this "our"children out of your vocabulary, they are your husband's children with his ex, not yours. as another poster stated, legally, you are nothing here, and you shouldnt be involved. what goes on at mom's house is not YOUR business.the only people in this are mom, dad and the kids, not mom, dad, the kids, and stepmom. why do you think YOU have the right to be informed about anything concerning these kids? you are not their mother OR father

You would be correct I am the "STEP MOTHER" of these two beautiful girls and a MOTHER to 3 of my own . You asked why I should be INFORMED. I do believe you missed the part to where the girls are in "OUR CARE" (father & STEP MOM) for 11 + hrs a day 6 days a week.

" The best interests of OUR Children" is speaking in general not just in this case but through out the world.

So get OVER it already. And whether you want to except it or not. We are married so there for they are MY CHILDREN too. Should I treat them any differently than MY OWN CHILDREN? NO.. I didn't think so.

Never said the girls were being NEGLECTED. How ever their MOTHER is.

lol I know for a fact that she doesn't dress her self. How do I know this because when you ask her, She will tell you because mommy didn't tell me too or Mommy didn't give me none to put on.

YES I am aware that a child @ 6 years old should be able to dress their self completely, brush their hair, teeth and so forth. Also should be able to bathe and wipe their slef when they go potty. But SD does not do this without someone telling her to.

I have to finish cooking lunch will check back shortly for anymore bullets.. lol
I am headstrong. I know what's right and what's wrong.[/QUOTE]



Oh my gosh, what is funny about this? You post...lol...lol...lol...
Children, including my own, don't want to be put in the middle. Stop questioning your husbands children about what goes on at their mothers house. Many children want to please whomever's presence they are in and tell you what you want to hear.
If you do, indeed, have children, you should know this. I think it's time for you to either let the mother put the kids in child care, so you don't have to complain about the kids anymore, or let the father of the children handle this from now on.
And no, once again, they are not "our" children. They are his children, whom you are assiting with. How would you respond if your ex's new wife called your children, hers....
Oh, by the way....if the kids are in your and your husbands care for 11 hours a day, who's working?

 

[CJane]

She the SD has told the Doctor that she does not get a bath at her MOTHER'S (happy ) HOUSE.

And when I pick my kids up from their dad's house after one of his weekends (which, with our agreement are 4 day weekends), and ask them when their last bath was, they either say "I don't know" or "at your house". True or not, I don't know. I just make sure they bathe that night at my house. Just because a 6 year old says something did/didn't happen doesn't mean that it actually did/didn't.

You would be correct I am the "STEP MOTHER" of these two beautiful girls and a MOTHER to 3 of my own . You asked why I should be INFORMED. I do believe you missed the part to where the girls are in "OUR CARE" (father & STEP MOM) for 11 + hrs a day 6 days a week.

" The best interests of OUR Children" is speaking in general not just in this case but through out the world.

The biggest reason you need to wrap your head around the idea that they're not YOUR children is because the type of attitude you're displaying here will NOT help your husband if this ever goes to court. It will hurt his case, because the courts are likely to think you're overstepping your bounds.

So get OVER it already. And whether you want to except it or not. We are married so there for they are MY CHILDREN too. Should I treat them any differently than MY OWN CHILDREN? NO.. I didn't think so.

Yeah, you should.

Never said the girls were being NEGLECTED. How ever their MOTHER is.

Their mother is being neglected?

lol I know for a fact that she doesn't dress her self. How do I know this because when you ask her, She will tell you because mommy didn't tell me too or Mommy didn't give me none to put on.

Same thing my 6 year old would say if you asked her why she wasn't wearing panties or why she was wearing the same panties. Again, doesn't make it true. I lay out clothes for both my kids every day - including socks and panties. I'd venture a guess that at least 50% of the time, they fail to put on one of those items.

YES I am aware that a child @ 6 years old should be able to dress their self completely, brush their hair, teeth and so forth. Also should be able to bathe and wipe their slef when they go potty. But SD does not do this without someone telling her to.

So?