Coach and school violating my rights...

[stealth2]

The Superintendent thinks the Principal has "...better things to do than mess with this stuff..."? I'd not only save that statement for the court, I'd take it directly to a local TV station that has a consumer or civil rights advocacy. They love juicy stuff like a public official who doesn't think the highly paid school Principal needs to deal with the issues that affect their students. This jerk should be confronted and reprimanded in front of the school board at the next meeting. Apparently, the SB needs to clarify the duties of your Super and the school administration.

Honestly?

The superintendent is correct. It is NOT the principal's job to interpret court orders and how/when/why to enforce them or not. His job is in dealing with how the kids in his school are being educated. Period.

 

[casa]

Here is what the Superintendent wrote:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for responding to Daddenied. There is no need for you to follow-up with our legal counsel on the court order. Our legal counsel can take care of this
with our attorney who has an attorney in our office every Tuesday afternoon so if you can get the information to our legal counsel, he can meet with L/S tomorrow and get a quick response for you. You have more important
thingsto do than mess with this stuff.

Legal Counsel's name:

Please give Princials name some help on this. Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------
I can't fight the school district, especially if I am unsure I can really even go to see my children's games. Please help. If any of you know any attorney in the Fresno area who can help me, please let me know through private email and I can give you my contact information. I just got a membership with Prepaid Legal and may ask them for referral help.

Daddenied- I'm so sorry.

This is what I was afraid of. Is the Court Order worded the way the Principal wrote it? ie; " joint parental custody with restricted visitation for the father “in a therapeutic setting in Fresno County with a licensed mental health clinician, or an agency such as the Center for Collaborative and Relational Therapies or comprehensive Youth Services." and also "special occasions between the father and the children shall be supervised in accordance with that
specification" ???

If that is the verbiage in the court order, then your hands are tied. The judge at the last hearing stated he was changing only the therapist etc., and that everything else in the previous order remained the same.

I think the legal counsel was harsh- but then again, I'm sure he was not thinking that you'd be reading his comments/notes to the Principal.

The Principal seems to have handled it correctly, and explains the inconsistency between why you were allowed athletic visits in the summer and not now- Mom just supplied them with the court order in August.

Keep going to the scheduled therapy sessions and don't give up. These correspondences <if nothing else> demonstrate your continued dedication to being in your children's lives. You are also slowly showing Mom that she can't keep pulling this garbage forever- and that you will pursue all legal remedies. She will face contempt charges and the judge.

Hang In There

 

[daddenied]

Not to answer for someone else, but I'm guessing that she means that the wording that the Principal (superintendent?) of the school quotes when speaking of the order is not the same as the wording that DD has used when quoting the same order. That's what caught my eye when I read the communications, anyway.

Thanks. It's daddenied's girlfriend again. As soon as I get a chance I will take a look at Daddenieds posts and see where the discrepancy is and actually look at the order then clarify what it says exactly.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks. It's daddenied's girlfriend again. As soon as I get a chance I will take a look at Daddenieds posts and see where the discrepancy is and actually look at the order then clarify what it says exactly.

I'm not sure where the post with the wording in the order is, what thread, but that was not the wording posted here. It should be easier for you to just look at the copy of the order DD not ex provided the school, remember she didn't provide it, he did. Now it is possible that after she learned he had contacted the schools she submitted her version of the (proposed) order and they are using that. As I recall there was only a minute order and getting that clarified was the reason for the last hearing. Does the school have a copy of that order? I thought DD gave the school the existing custody orders showing the original custody order of joint custody. The mediation report made other reccommodations which the court did not accept thus the new mediation was ordered and the only issue was to allow for therapy in the meantime and a new report, it did not change existing orders, someone may be assuming because the word supervised therapeutic visitation was used that was the same thing as supervised visitation, which it is not in theis instance.

 

[dallas702]

First, I spent too many years in the education system...bottom to top....to accept that a school principal cannot, or should not, be able to read, understand, and enforce a simple custody order. Very few orders will restrict either parent from attending school functions for the purpose of watching/being involved with their child. That would require a specific statement and probably an accompanying RO. Schools are not just little teaching/learning boxes anymore . I wish they were moreso, but they have been part of the larger legal system for decades. Most school principals will see 10-100 of these orders if the school is large. Most are turned over to their lawyers if they are complicated and have special restrictions, but ones that are straightforward...and especially if a complaint has been made...can be easily dealt with. I always urged giving the benefit of the doubt to allowing maximum participation unless there was a history or threat of violence by one of the parents. For the $100K+ that principals make these days, they can make some decisions other than how many football fundraisers they're going to have. I'll be brutally honest...I hate school administrators who can't use good judgement so they pass off the responsibility to others. It's no different than some 5 year old Kg getting suspended because he/she brought a plastic butter knife so they could spread cheese on their crackers. It's pure laziness and being afraid to make a decision.

Anyway, daddydenied...some states or jurisdictions allow a one-time changing of the judge (crap, can't remember thew term right now...not recusal, that's what the judge does...). You need a judge who doesn't have cement for brains. You also need an attack dog attorney who will show just what kind of crap your ex is doing to HARM your children. Other than beating or starving the kids, this is the worst kind of MIS-parenting that can be done. Some judges (those with insight and guts) will not only recognize this, but will also take action. Again, it is laziness and fear of making a decision that keeps children suffering through this crap for years. Having you and your kids go though 12 psycho-sessions to "repair" your relationship because your ex has alienated them from you is about the stupidest thing I have heard...especially if your ex is allowed to dictate with whom and when the sessions will occur. Get a new, aggressive attorney, and try for a judge with some brain cells.

As with common sense-challenged school principals, no public employee/offical has the right to be or act stupid just because they get a check from the taxpayers.

 

[CJane]

First, I spent too many years in the education system...bottom to top....to accept that a school principal cannot, or should not, be able to read, understand, and enforce a simple custody order. Very few orders will restrict either parent from attending school functions for the purpose of watching/being involved with their child.

But DD wasn't restricted from attending the game. He was even allowed to spend a brief amount of time with his child before the coach intervened.

The problem is, whether the administrator is capable of interpreting the order or not, it's not his job as a non-legal professional, and I'm guessing that if he's had to deal with this mom in any way, he's hesitant to do anything at all that he doesn't know for sure is the right thing to do - legally.

If the wording of the order is exactly what the administration quoted in their response to DD, they're well within their boundaries to attempt to keep contact with his kids to a minimum just because of the way that it's worded.

 

[dallas702]

Yes, it is certainly possible that this whacko mom has caused other problems for the principal, and he has decided to do the P.Pilate(sp.?) thing.

 

[daddenied]

First, I spent too many years in the education system...bottom to top....to accept that a school principal cannot, or should not, be able to read, understand, and enforce a simple custody order. Very few orders will restrict either parent from attending school functions for the purpose of watching/being involved with their child. That would require a specific statement and probably an accompanying RO. Schools are not just little teaching/learning boxes anymore . I wish they were moreso, but they have been part of the larger legal system for decades. Most school principals will see 10-100 of these orders if the school is large. Most are turned over to their lawyers if they are complicated and have special restrictions, but ones that are straightforward...and especially if a complaint has been made...can be easily dealt with. I always urged giving the benefit of the doubt to allowing maximum participation unless there was a history or threat of violence by one of the parents. For the $100K+ that principals make these days, they can make some decisions other than how many football fundraisers they're going to have. I'll be brutally honest...I hate school administrators who can't use good judgement so they pass off the responsibility to others. It's no different than some 5 year old Kg getting suspended because he/she brought a plastic butter knife so they could spread cheese on their crackers. It's pure laziness and being afraid to make a decision.

Anyway, daddydenied...some states or jurisdictions allow a one-time changing of the judge (crap, can't remember thew term right now...not recusal, that's what the judge does...). You need a judge who doesn't have cement for brains. You also need an attack dog attorney who will show just what kind of crap your ex is doing to HARM your children. Other than beating or starving the kids, this is the worst kind of MIS-parenting that can be done. Some judges (those with insight and guts) will not only recognize this, but will also take action. Again, it is laziness and fear of making a decision that keeps children suffering through this crap for years. Having you and your kids go though 12 psycho-sessions to "repair" your relationship because your ex has alienated them from you is about the stupidest thing I have heard...especially if your ex is allowed to dictate with whom and when the sessions will occur. Get a new, aggressive attorney, and try for a judge with some brain cells.

As with common sense-challenged school principals, no public employee/offical has the right to be or act stupid just because they get a check from the taxpayers.

Depleted funds on my end make it almost impossible for me to afford an attorney, but my girlfriend and I decided it is necessary to fight this ex of mine who is doing everything in her power not only to keep my children from me, but to cause so much stress in my life that my own personal relationship starts to suffer and it has been. I applied for prepaid legal membership and Monday since my week is swamped, I will be speaking with an attorney in the LA office to see if they can refer me to someone good in Fresno-someone who has the characteristics you described This looks like it will get uglier if my ex has anything to do with it.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I received your PM last week and thought there would be an update re how things went Friday and Sat. Hang in there, mom's contempt will eventually be her downfall.

 

[dannysmyboy]

I know this is not a "feel good" site, but Sir, although I have no legal advice for you, I have been reading your posts and I simply can not believe this waste of flesh (also known as your ex) is pulling this crap with you at the expense of the children. Her day will come when she will pay. Maybe it'll be in hell. Maybe a truck will slam into her because he didn't see a stop sign. I feel for you for what you've been put through.

When this is all said and done, I can only imagine someone on here will help you craft a rather long and detailed civil lawsuit against this lunatic bi*ch!

Her day will come, when her kids realize how their mother really is, and totally lose respect for her...Most likely, she'll live her golden years, alone....

My husband's daughter 17, petitioned to live with us permanently, and doesn't want anything to do with her mother (same issues in this case). Full custody was granted.

 

[daddenied]

I received your PM last week and thought there would be an update re how things went Friday and Sat. Hang in there, mom's contempt will eventually be her downfall.

Hi Miss Met.

Sorry for not updating sooner. Things have been crazy as usual and I am in class tonight, have a test and presentation tomorrow and have been exhausted. This is a very quick summary. We were in Fresno and apparently as we have been waiting on copies of the contempt paperwork and a court date, were told by a court clerk that our paperwork was sent back to us due to them wanting us to file a enforcement motion. I explained that we still wanted to file a contempt motion, but was told that attachments I had to the motion were not "correct". ??? We looked at the file and I was told that the contempt paperwork which includes old police reports, etc...would not be considered, because all orders prior to July 1st would not be addressed. I tried to explain the judge on the 1st instructed me to file them and date them, but had no luck. We went to my therapy appt and of course my ex did not bring the boys. The therapist said he will write a letter and have it ready for the Nov. 17th mediation explaining he only saw each of the boys in a 1/2 hour assessment each and my ex has violated the order stating she will not bring them and will take the matter to court to ask for a female therapist. I went to Frenso PD to file police reports for the last 3 Saturdays including this past one and was told that since Counseling is actually in Clovis I had to go there. When I went there, the officer said he would file the reports for me, as they were closing, but he would have to call my ex and find out what her side was. ??? I told him that was fine...she was in violation and I needed the reports ASAP. HE called me today and gave me a report #. I have asked him to fax a copy to me so I can attach to the enforcement and contempt motion I am again attempting to file this week. I can't believe the run around. My girlfriend said we may be able to get a copy on line. She'll check. I have two more appointments with the therapist before mediation and know the children won't be there. IT makes me sad. In fact, I don't know what is going to happen. Visitation is supposed to be decided off of what the therapist's report says and it will say we never had visitation after their assessment. What should I do? I plan on going into mediation with my visitation schedule proposal. Sorry for asking again, but how do I go about asking for another mediator instead of the one who saw us back in June? Am I too late? In my contempt paperwork I have requested my ex be required to undergo that EC 730 evaluation and she pay for it. I fear bringing it up will have the judge order ME to pay for it. I wouldn't be surprised. ANyway I gotta run, but my girlfriend or I will continue this update tomorrow. I have some news from the school district and it's not good...they stand firm in their decision and make no apologies. I'll post reply tomorrow. Thanks!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Mediation was yesterday, how did it go?

 

[dallas702]

Yeah....did you whip the witch?

 

[daddenied]

It was horrible!

Mediation was yesterday, how did it go?

Hello...it's Daddenied's girlfriend. How are you all? Sorry for the delay. Business and school for me and Work and School for him have kept us completely swamped. Mediation did not go well. He went in...the same mediator he saw in June, yes the biased one, was sitting and listening to his ex when he got there...his ex was telling her sob stories, and her tales, etc...so of course the mediator again already formed an opinion of him AGAIN. He said the mediator listened to his ex talk about stuff from him refusing to sign a contract and payment plan for orthodontia, how he doesn't care that the boys are uncomfortable now with Mr Counselor who the last judge ordered ex to furnish kids for all sat. appts, how they need to have a female therapist, how Mr. Counselor is not biased and the ex feels it will work against her. She went on to say that their grades have dropped in all of this madness. Their grades were great the first 2 years of visitation then after the boys spent time with us last summer, months went by without him, their grades dropped throughout the school year, which ended this past June. Daddenied attempted to explain that he has followed the order to a T and still ex is trying to keep children away, and that is in contempt and mediator said she feels that the children should not have to go to a therapist they don't want to go to, etc...and that she will make her recommendation but feels that maybe they need a new person to see and the boys now should all see a psychotherapist, etc... She said she will talk to Mr. Counselor who ex has not brought the kids back since the first visit. Daddenied wants to give up. We are strapped money wise and desperate. We have a telephone appt with a Prepaid Legal attorney on Tuesday. The transcripts from the July 1st hearing have mysteriously disappeared, etc...We are trying to get Wed. off so we can drive up to Fresno and take care of things during regular business hours, but if not will not be able to do this until the following Friday. We are at a loss. He saw the boys in the hall, hugged them, told them how much he loved and missed them and how he always wants to see them. They hugged him, said okay then went in to see the therapist. He feels it will be his last goodbye for a long time. This
B---- is going to not only be the death of us but I believe spends her every breathing moment trying to sabotage his relationship with the kids. It seems to be working.
She is full of hate and jealousy and doesn't care who she hurts. I gotta get to bed but didn't want to leave you all hanging. I'll get on again Sunday to explain all. Ask any detailed questions and I will answer them. Thank you all again for your support.

 

[casa]

Hello...it's Daddenied's girlfriend. How are you all? Sorry for the delay. Business and school for me and Work and School for him have kept us completely swamped. Mediation did not go well. He went in...the same mediator he saw in June, yes the biased one, was sitting and listening to his ex when he got there...his ex was telling her sob stories, and her tales, etc...so of course the mediator again already formed an opinion of him AGAIN. He said the mediator listened to his ex talk about stuff from him refusing to sign a contract and payment plan for orthodontia, how he doesn't care that the boys are uncomfortable now with Mr Counselor who the last judge ordered ex to furnish kids for all sat. appts, how they need to have a female therapist, how Mr. Counselor is not biased and the ex feels it will work against her. She went on to say that their grades have dropped in all of this madness. Their grades were great the first 2 years of visitation then after the boys spent time with us last summer, months went by without him, their grades dropped throughout the school year, which ended this past June. Daddenied attempted to explain that he has followed the order to a T and still ex is trying to keep children away, and that is in contempt and mediator said she feels that the children should not have to go to a therapist they don't want to go to, etc...and that she will make her recommendation but feels that maybe they need a new person to see and the boys now should all see a psychotherapist, etc... She said she will talk to Mr. Counselor who ex has not brought the kids back since the first visit. Daddenied wants to give up. We are strapped money wise and desperate. We have a telephone appt with a Prepaid Legal attorney on Tuesday. The transcripts from the July 1st hearing have mysteriously disappeared, etc...We are trying to get Wed. off so we can drive up to Fresno and take care of things during regular business hours, but if not will not be able to do this until the following Friday. We are at a loss. He saw the boys in the hall, hugged them, told them how much he loved and missed them and how he always wants to see them. They hugged him, said okay then went in to see the therapist. He feels it will be his last goodbye for a long time. This
B---- is going to not only be the death of us but I believe spends her every breathing moment trying to sabotage his relationship with the kids. It seems to be working.
She is full of hate and jealousy and doesn't care who she hurts. I gotta get to bed but didn't want to leave you all hanging. I'll get on again Sunday to explain all. Ask any detailed questions and I will answer them. Thank you all again for your support.

The positive I see is the mediator is going to contact Mr. Therapist. Mr. Therapist has some experience re; the X to share with the mediator. In CA mediators write reports and so daddenied should get a copy as well- and make sure the mediator mentions speaking to Mr. Therapist (or daddenied can question why that important collateral contact is not included in the report). My nuttyX gave an Oscar winning performance in mediation...but collateral contacts shed light on his 'act'.