I asked them both, what do want to call Jeff? They both said they didnt want to call him dad. I then went on to say that being called dad or mom was a very special title. That they didnt have to call my finace Mom when we get married. I told them how lucky I was to have two smart little girls who are turning out so beautiful. I told them I would talk to Jeff and mommy and ask them to stop asking.
Being called mom or dad is a very special title? You are right it is!! That is a very manipulative thing to say to your girls though. With those few words you told your girls that special titles were for special people. Jeff is not a special person and not worthy of being called dad. They don't like Jeff well enough to call him dad and you validated thier feelings toward Jeff and gave them reason to like him even less. I'm sure they were shaking their heads and agreeing with every word you said. What you essentially told them was this.....Jeff is not special and as long as you agree with that you are beautiful, smart girls and I'm very lucky. They are such "smart little girls for agreeing with what daddy says!!
THAT IS SICK!! It is wrong but your aren't going to get it cause you don't want to get it.
Get some help, but not here, this is a legal forum and you don't have a legal question
blameshifting, there is a legal issue here. It's insiduous and at work in this man's relationship and the way he communicates with his daughters. He is either in denial about it or really doesn't care as long as he gets his needs taken care of.
It's called Parental Allienation and if he keeps talking to his children in a manner that causes them to dislike the things their mother is doing he could very well end up in court over the matter.
He needs counseling. He needs professional help when it comes to dealing with his pain and how to keep it from hurting his children. He won't ever get it though. What will happen is that the mother will end up in a therapist's office one day with her girls trying to undo the damage that he has caused cause his feelings were more important that his girls.
People like him make messes and someone else is always having to clean up after them. He will go on his merry way and one day when his daughters are having major issues over the mess he will be shaking his head and saying, "who me?"
What is sad is that someone who can so obstantly refuse to listen to others and try and see it from the perspective of two little girls has those little girls 50% of the time. His anger at his ex wife is evident and his daughters are paying for that anger.
snodderly
Being called mom or dad is a very special title? You are right it is!! That is a very manipulative thing to say to your girls though. With those few words you told your girls that special titles were for special people. Jeff is not a special person and not worthy of being called dad. They don't like Jeff well enough to call him dad and you validated thier feelings toward Jeff and gave them reason to like him even less. I'm sure they were shaking their heads and agreeing with every word you said. What you essentially told them was this.....Jeff is not special and as long as you agree with that you are beautiful, smart girls and I'm very lucky. They are such "smart little girls for agreeing with what daddy says!!
THAT IS SICK!! It is wrong but your aren't going to get it cause you don't want to get it.
Get some help, but not here, this is a legal forum and you don't have a legal question
blameshifting, there is a legal issue here. It's insiduous and at work in this man's relationship and the way he communicates with his daughters. He is either in denial about it or really doesn't care as long as he gets his needs taken care of.
It's called Parental Allienation and if he keeps talking to his children in a manner that causes them to dislike the things their mother is doing he could very well end up in court over the matter.
He needs counseling. He needs professional help when it comes to dealing with his pain and how to keep it from hurting his children. He won't ever get it though. What will happen is that the mother will end up in a therapist's office one day with her girls trying to undo the damage that he has caused cause his feelings were more important that his girls.
People like him make messes and someone else is always having to clean up after them. He will go on his merry way and one day when his daughters are having major issues over the mess he will be shaking his head and saying, "who me?"
What is sad is that someone who can so obstantly refuse to listen to others and try and see it from the perspective of two little girls has those little girls 50% of the time. His anger at his ex wife is evident and his daughters are paying for that anger.
snodderly
