Sara, stop it for a sec. Please look at what you're writing here. I get that you're upset, and that you're angry ... trust me, I get that. But you're not being productive and you're not helping yourself or your children.
Don't waive around armchair diagnoses. That does nothing but reinforce your anger and that's going to hurt you and your children even more in the long run. Understand that Dad has rights and it takes an awful lot for a court to remove even some of those rights. I'm talking abject neglect and abuse. Nothing you've said even comes close so far.
Instead of focusing on how to remove or reduce Dad - which you cannot do - focus instead on what you can do to make sure your children are taught decent coping skills.
Many (most?) of us here have had to go with "fake it until you make it" which, however trite it may sound, does actually work quite well most of the time. You can't control Dad. All you can control is how you deal with him, and step one is not letting him rent so much space in your head. He shouldn't be spending that much time there without paying rent ... right?
