picking up daughter while ex is at work

[LdiJ]

You know, I have reviewed the OP's previous threads and I think that I have finally figured out why he is being such a doofus.

He knows nothing at all about family law and how it works. He has been to court numerous times and has won most of those times. As a result it has emboldened him and he sees himself as the "winner".

However, what he doesn't realize (due to his lack of knowledge on family law) is that each time that he won, it was the normal progression for parenting time in an unwed situation. Therefore he didn't "win" anything. All he got was what any unwed ncp would expect to get based on normal progression and the child's age etc. What he doesn't understand is that he has basically "topped out" with his current schedule. His current schedule is that he gets every other weekend, every Thursday overnight, and a dinner visit on Tuesday. He also gets normal holiday time and normal summer time.

What he wants now is basically a dinner visit on Monday, Wednesday and Friday(of mom's weekends) as well. He thinks that he has created "status quo" by forcing these visits against mom's will over the last year or so. He totally does NOT get that he has done anything wrong. He sees it as a continuation of his "strategy" without realizing that his strategy wasn't a strategy at all...it was normal progression. He doesn't understand that mom has a real and valid "gripe" to air in court because he has unilaterally disrespected the parenting schedule against her will. He also doesn't understand the very real and major mistake that he has made in making those arrangements with the child, instead of getting permission from mom.

He doesn't understand that any further changes from this point on will require a change in circumstances in the life of the child...and no change of circumstances exists. He also doesn't understand that continually taking mom to court to try to get more time at this point is likely to result in an irritated judge.

On top of that he doesn't realize that he is eroding the co-parenting relationship which is just going to make things harder for the child from this point forward, and because he doesn't understand all of that, he feels compelled to give erroneous advice to other fathers. Eventually he is going to get his wings clipped and perhaps then he will realize where he went wrong.

 

[stealth2]

Bingo.

And he irritates the rest of us, too.

 

[Proserpina]

Great googly moogly.

This is like spinny and Ted Bundy had a love child together and ended up with Teech as a result.

How...lovely.

 

[NYCTeacher]

His current schedule is that he gets every other weekend, every Thursday overnight, and a dinner visit on Tuesday. He also gets normal holiday time and normal summer time..

That's not far off from my current plan....What would you say 25-35%? Ok, so this agreement this week won't exactly double it(i'm not going to get 70%, but i wrote it myself, so it's move overnights a week and almost double the summer time, tipping parenting time over 50%(57% actually) when it is actually written down on a calender(though you can't tell just by reading it)

 

[CJane]

That's not far off from my current plan....What would you say 25-35%? Ok, so this agreement this week won't exactly double it(i'm not going to get 70%, but i wrote it myself, so it's move overnights a week and almost double the summer time, tipping parenting time over 50%(57% actually) when it is actually written down on a calender(though you can't tell just by reading it)

Well, I've seen how you do math - when you tried to convince me that my ex actually had more parenting time than I did even though it was CLEARLY a 60/40 plan (in my favor). So I totally believe that you THINK it's a little more than 50% on you, and that you 'just can't tell by reading it'.

 

[NYCTeacher]

Well, I've seen how you do math - when you tried to convince me that my ex actually had more parenting time than I did even though it was CLEARLY a 60/40 plan (in my favor). So I totally believe that you THINK it's a little more than 50% on you, and that you 'just can't tell by reading it'.

Haha, i plotted everything out on the next 3 years calenders to make sure!

I'd love to go back over that math with you! I think if your ex was a little smarter he wouldn't use his regular scheduled days for summer parenting time....

 

[Proserpina]

Haha, i plotted everything out on the next 3 years calenders to make sure!

I'd love to go back over that math with you!

Isn't your bridge getting lonely?

Poor bridge.

 

[CJane]

For the record (though I suspect OP will delete this thread)...

When I stated I had a 60/40 split with my ex, because I had every Sun/Mon/Tues overnight during the school year, and half the summer, this is what he sent me:

I'm trying to understand how you came to 40%

Every Wed & Thursday nights (104 Overnights)
EO Friday & Saturday nights (52 Overnights)
Half the summer (35 Overnights)

Thats' 191 Overnights, your ex should have Primary custody at 52% Unless something doesn't carry over to the summer...Like no, Wed & Thurs over the summer(2 months right)? That would bring it down to 175 overnights or 48%

My response:

For every 14 possible overnights, 8 of them were mine. That is 57%
Let's assume that summer vacation is 12 weeks, or 84 days.
That leaves 281 days of regular time (because holidays / birthdays / etc aren't included in the count).
Of those 281 days, 160 (or 57%) of them are "my" time.
Then figure in that half of the 84 days of summer are mine. (because we alternate weeks)
That awards me 202 days out of 365.
Which 55%.
The e/o week in the summer was not ordered, and so was not taken into account when figuring the time share.

The math you're using is counting ALL 104 of the W/Th overnights and ALL 52 of the S/Su overnights PLUS half the summer - you're counting much of that time twice.

It's safe to say that OP does not teach Math.

Though, I didn't REALLY think he was a teacher any more than I believed he was an attorney from Indiana when he was using his previous name.

 

[CJane]

Haha, i plotted everything out on the next 3 years calenders to make sure!

I'd love to go back over that math with you! I think if your ex was a little smarter he wouldn't use his regular scheduled days for summer parenting time....

My ex no longer has a relationship with his children. So he's not using ANY of his time.

 

[NYCTeacher]

My ex no longer has a relationship with his children. So he's not using ANY of his time.

Not worth talking about a #@$#^% like that then huh? I'm a father first, i'd quit my job and give up everything i am if it meant a more meaningful(although it's pretty good right now) relationship with my daughter. She saved my life and i'm lucky to even know my daughter. Any guy who doesn't feel that way about their kids isn't worth a breath IMO, thank god the percentage of men like that is MUCH lower then the percentage of women like that!

 

[CJane]

Not worth talking about a #@$#^% like that then huh? I'm a father first, i'd quit my job and give up everything i am ...

I don't believe you. Because I think you believe "meaningful" can be measured in the same concrete terms as hours and days. The "meaning" and strength of my relationship with my children has not been degraded by spending less time with them, as his was not increased by spending more time with them.

You're a very very sad man. And I sincerely hope you change your ways before the damage to your child is irreparable.

 

[Proserpina]

Not worth talking about a #@$#^% like that then huh? I'm a father first, i'd quit my job and give up everything i am if it meant a more meaningful(although it's pretty good right now) relationship with my daughter. She saved my life and i'm lucky to even know my daughter. Any guy who doesn't feel that way about their kids isn't worth a breath IMO, thank god the percentage of men like that is MUCH lower then the percentage of women like that!

Citation please.

I'll wait.

 

[NYCTeacher]

Citation please.

I'll wait.

Who Are the Perpetrators?
Perpetrators of child abuse or neglect are most often the child’s own parents. According to NCANDS, in 2005, 79.4 percent of perpetrators were parents and 6.8 percent were other relatives. The largest remaining categories of perpetrators were the unmarried partner of a child’s parent (3.8 percent) and other perpetrators (4.1 percent). In 3.6 percent of child maltreatment cases the perpetrators were missing or unknown. In under 1 percent of child maltreatment cases the perpetrator was a foster parent, residential facility staff, the child’s daycare provider, a legal guardian, friends or neighbors, or other professionals (USDHHS, 2007).

Approximately 40 percent of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 18.3 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 17.3 percent were abused by both parents (USDHHS, 2007).

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-abuse-and-neglect-statistics.html

 

[Proserpina]

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/fact-sheets/child-abuse-and-neglect-statistics.html

And you did exactly what I predicted.

Nice try, though.

 

[NYCTeacher]

And you did exactly what I predicted.

Nice try, though.

You asked for a citation and I gave it to you....lol, it's not hard to make a prediction of an event you asked for!

I predict when i go to Taco bell and order a Taco...I will get one! lol